The Return of the Well Cultured Anonymous
*The Return of the Well Cultured Anonymous is an updated book, based on the original Well Cultured Anonymous, which was painstakingly built by fellow Anonymous on Wikichan. It attempts to show others (primarily other Anonymous) how to be sophisticated, talented, and polite in today's modern world.
Some parts need to be updated, important topics need to be added, and a few pages need to be customized for a girl's point of view. If you can help with this, just go ahead when you feel like it.
We added "The Return" to this book's title, since it was entirely lost in it's original form after Wikichan fell apart. Some parts still live on in Well-Cultured), a website based on the book, made by the last Wikichan admin in a attempt to make a serious men's help magazine. Because of the unfortunate fate of such an informative guide, we have restored the original and reopened it to editing.
You have seen them everywhere – self help topics of Anonymous begging for help with his life. Some people have no idea how they should dress other than wearing a Pantera t-shirt with jeans that their mother bought for them five years ago. Some have no idea how to approach women and spend their time masturbating to Loli. And some just want to know if they should shave their pubes.
Here, my friends, is your answer. Written by anon, edited by anon, and perfected by anon. Every single tip, trick, and Barrel Roll you will ever need to know without having to ask for help. The first chapters of this Wikibook will intend to enlighten and refresh your memory on the basics- how to look decent, how to keep in shape, and that kind of thing. Then, it will segue into other people- how to pick up women, how to handle other people, and how to have a dinner party where you don't throw food. Then, the miscellaneous things- College, protips and tricks, and basically anything else you could ever want to know.
Read away. Edit away. Learn, Anonymous.
Once upon a time, being an anon was weird, but so was socializing online in any way. Once upon a time, the chans were universally recognized as the premier source of the Internet's memes and original content. Once upon a time, we were the big brother of the internet family who sometimes pulled pranks but always came down on the side of freedom; we were treated with respect, both in the "fear" and "admire" senses. It was in this age that this guide was written.
Those days are long gone.
This guide was intended as a survival guide for anons. Originally, of course, this was metaphorical; if current trends continue, this could very well be literal.
Much of the advice in this guide will remain useful as long as humanity or Western Civilization exists, and so do not need to be updated. Others, however, are nearing fifteen years old and must be changed to reflect current conditions. For example, the sections of this guide that imply that the average person will always look upon socializing online with suspicion are no longer correct in many cases. New sections will also be added regarding online socializing with normies, which in many respects is a foreign country from socializing with anons.
All is not doom and gloom for the anon culture: many young people, notwithstanding the scorn and ridicule heaped upon us by the mainstream media, will not have their hunger for knowledge satiated by the monotonous content it emits, and continue to flock to imageboards seeking a free exchange of ideas, without judgment of their speaker. Many of us came of age on imageboards, and so it is only fair for us to pay it forward. This function of the guide will continue to play a role though so much else has changed.
To quote the first intro: "Read away. Edit away. Learn, Anonymous."
The information in these chapters is not to be taken literally or be used in any way to commit any illegal acts. This information is for learning purposes only, and does not (directly or indirectly) support the topics discussed thereof. You take all responsibility for how you use any of these chapters, no matter what.
About/Around the Book
Because it is a community work to begin with.
- Authors of the Well-Cultured Anonymous - The people who made the original guide on Wikichan.
- Authors of the Return of the Well-Cultured Anonymous - The people who resurrected it from deletion and updated it for inclusion in the Bibliotheca Anonoma.
- Similar Books and References
Cleaning Yourself Up
Because it's what you need to do to even step foot in society.
The reason this book exists.
- General *ure
- The Big Book Of Anonymous Recipes
- Avoid Like the Fucking Plague
Work and Play
Because that's most of your time.
- Friends and Coworkers
- Getting Your Own Place
- Owning a Car
- Riding a Bike
Sex and Relationships
Because in the end, that's what you want
The authors of the Return of the Well Cultured Anonymous thank all the authors of the first edition for making such an awesome guide, the Internet Archive for keeping Wikichan backed up when their actual owners didn't bother, and Shii for saving a copy of the PDF on his site.