Blindmute Loli, August 2007
Note: Due to Wikichan downtime, timestamps unavailable
Ello /b/, it's blindmute loli guy here again. Now as you may or not know, tonight was Megan's birthday. Meaning that she turned 16. Legal, perfectly acceptable to fuck without the party van trying to get me. So tonight was the night I was going to have sex with her and lose my virginity after 19 long years. The operation was a three pronged effort. The first offensive front would be taking her out to dinner. Then I would present the gift I bought her, then fuck her. Erika was going to stay at Jim's until Sharon got home, and then I would go pick Megan up. Getting ready, I tried to make myself look and smell as good as possible. Hopefully good smelling cologne, hair not all messy, decent clothes. "Well I think you look about as good as is possible for you," I said to myself in the mirror. I told Erika to wish me luck, and she got a mischevious look on her face. "Are you getting lucky tonight?" WHAT!? "What has Melanie been telling you Erika?" Damn 12 year olds. "Don't listen to her." I dropped Erika off at Jim's, gave her a kiss for luck, and I was off.
I arrived at Megan's house, who was looking beautiful. But uh oh, the enemy deployed a weapon I hadn't accounted for. Megan wanted me to officially meet her dad. Keep in mind I had met him before, when I was homeless for a day. By the look on his face, I could tell he wasn't happy that I was taking out his daughter, or that she was now officially legal. "So you got a home now or are you living in a box?" Yep, he definitely wasn't happy to see me. "I live in a duplex sir." Oh how I wanted to smack the glare off of his face... "Where do you work?" I told him the restuarant, to which he gave an assholish "hmmm...". "Where do you go to college?" Agh fuck him. "Nowhere currently..." He had run out of questions after that, meaning we could finally leave. Dinner went by without anything of note happening, she was having a good time which meant I was doing well. Then it was time to present my gift. I'm a pretty unoriginal fuck, so I went with something windmill from the chat told me (contrary to a previous claim I made, she actually wanted me to put a ring around my penis, not a dildo, more from Fox at 11). So I got a claddagh ring if that's spelled right, what she told me. And it means different things if you put it on different fingers or in different ways, usual stuff girls eat up. Of course I was going to try and be less boring. So I had two small ring boxes, except they both had condoms in them. I told her that if she picked the one with the ring in it (which there wasn't) she gets the ring, and if she picks the condom one she has sex with me. She picks one, and it has a condom in it, and I show her the other one has the same, and then I produce the ring from my pocket (aren't I such a smooth operator?). I explain to her the ring, and she says she likes it. Unspoken between us though, we both wanted to get to what's really been on our minds the whole night.
So we were going to a motel to do our business. Arriving in the room, Megan wastes no time in getting down to business. She strips to her underwear, and begins humping my crotch. Suddenly I begin getting a bit anxious... waiting for this day forever... yet I can't do it... shit... it's not going up... I started slipping into a negative thought pattern. "You're going to fail so hard at this." Now, let me take you back. 1996. Being 19 now in 2007, 2007 minus 1996 would make me around 8. I'm sure many /b/tards were also little skippers around that time (and some probably much younger). Back in 1996, a show called "Hey Arnold" came on the air. About a good hearted kid with a weird shaped head, it was. Arnold made an effort to help many of the neighborhood denizens, but one of the most memorable would have to be Stoop Kid. Stoop kid was afraid to leave his stoop. He was tauned by everybody. But Stoop Kid eventually took that fateful step off of his stoop. And you know what he chanted? "I think I can." And there it was.
"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..." And then I was reminded of a little song from FLCL by The Pillows, by that same name. The opening guitar sequence of the song played in my head as I was now prepared to fuck this woman. Boner rising, t-link established, it was time. Megan continued, and my boner steadily rose. ♪Nitemo nitsukanai hutago no kimi shitandai kutsuhimo sae...♪ I layed down on the bed, and she took my dick out and began sucking on it. Amazing it was, extremely amazing. As a sidenote, last night I did use the fleshlight. It was okay, but nothing compared to Megan on my cock. It did make me wonder if she hadn't done it before though... ♪kutsuhimo sae modokeppa nashi no mama uwa no sora...♪ Before long, she flips around, putting her vag in my face. Alright, this is it. Giving oral, I can do this. I've read up on it plenty, no problem. ♪Machi kamaeteru HYENA no KISS kanippatsu...♪ Wait, what the fuck is this!? This wasn't in the wikipedia article! ♪dare no me ni mo oyoso hukan na BET tanoshi mitai na♪ It was piss. Megan had pissed on my face. "Megan, why the fuck did you do that!?" "I thought you liked that weird stuff." "Not by surprise, you got it in my eye!" "Well I'm sorry kinky" "Megan, do you have to make jokes? I'm trying to do this and you're not making it easy." "You could always do it by yourself." Well, can't argue with that. So yes, she really did piss on my face, and I wouldn't have minded if she would've told me. I would've found it erotic except that her piss burned my eye. So I went to the bathroom to wash it out, and then came back. It was time to skip the other shit, and just fuck her already. So I stripped fully naked, as did she, it was go time. I got on top of her about to stick my dick in, and she has to yet argue with me. "Missionary?" "Uuuh yeah what's the problem?" "Well it's sort of plain, isn't it?" AH WHAT IS HER PROBLEM. "What position does her highness want to do?" "Doggy style maybe?" Oh fuck this, I wasn't going to debate with her while my dick gets softer and softer. She should go fuck air bud if she likes dogs. So I stuck my dick in, AND SHE SIGHED AT ME. I meant it may have just been some other sigh-like noise, but still. Never have I felt like a lesser man. Oh wait, stay tuned. So I begin thrusting. ♪I think I can, I think I can, I think I c--Wait... wait a second, IT'S OVER? NO IT CAN'T BE OVER, WE HAVE LIKE 5 MORE VERSES! Looking at the unsatisfied expression on Megan's face, I could tell it was definitely over. So I orgasmed, great and all, but once I came back seeing that face... that expression... it will give me nightmares. Her eyes saying "That was it?" I mean I didn't expect to last long my first time, but this was unexpected. I probably lasted no longer than it would take you to read any sentence in this paragraph. As I threw the condom away, the closing guitar sequence of the song played. I mean it's possible I didn't do that bad and we both had unreal expectations,but it felt like an extremely short time....
We got cleaned up, and I drove her home. We didn't say much too each other on the way, my performance being more than underwhelming. So yeah, I'm sort of embarrassed. Actually, I'm more than "sort of" embarrassed. Immasculated. It's at these times I appreciate the senor, who may be my only sex partner if I keep this up. That's how it happened, hopefully the j-rock and hey arnold distracted you from my massive winure. On a side note, I got an IM from my sister. She enjoyed my visit and seeing Erika, so she wanted to come up to stay at Sharon's for a bit. Mom and dad agreed, so they're going to drive her up on Saturday. At least something good happened, Erika was excited at the idea.
Hello slashbee, blindmute loli guy here. Over the weekend, my sister came to visit (and she's still here to stay a week). She arrived on Saturday, but something happened before that on Friday. Megan was babysitting as usual, and when I come home she pulls me into the other room to talk privately. "Jake, I have something to tell you, and you may not like it..." Yadda yadda she's building tension to tell me some lame joke or something. "I used an EPT today..." EPT? Electric pet lizard? Oh shit, early pregnancy test. Okay so now I'm starting to shit bricklets. "Anyways it came up..." Shitting full bricks now. "Positive." Shitting a brick house. So thoughts run through my head of the pitter patter of a little baby, in addtion to Erika that I have to take care of. And then of course there's the cost that goes along with it. Megan could tell I was minorly freaking out so she says "Just kidding." Goddamn her. "Jake, you're so gullible, it's too early for an EPT anyways." So yeah, it was a joke. "But Jake, I think I should break up with you." Haha, another joke. Hahahahahaha... she's not laughing. Nope, the first joke was to soften me up for that. Megan broke up with me. I wasn't really that upset, just a bit disappointed. Did lose my virginity to the girl, and I was sort of convinced she wasn't a shallow bitch. I don't know why she would expect me to be good in the bed though, but whatever. I drove her home in silence with a Mr. Grumpy look on my face.
I went home and told Erika the news, and she said she could be my girlfriend if I needed one. Of course, I had to smile at that. So I gave Erika the ring that I just got back. And her and I sat home the whole evening together, and it was a lot better than having sex with Megan. On Saturday, about noon, my sister arrived. My parents couldn't resist coming up to my place though to see Erika and of course snoop around. My dad looked around at Sharon's clothes strung all over the place and said "Hasn't this lady ever heard of a hamper?". "Guess not," as my nose recalled that panty scent wafting on my nostrils. My dad gave Erika some money, so she was happy as a clam which made him give her even more (thanks for that college savings account dad). After they left, we all went out for some ice cream (well I didn't have any, I don't like it that much). I told Erika she could pay for it with her newfound wealth, and she gave me her sad puppy expression, which is too cute to argue with. Luke came too, since I had called him over today. I was missing the 360 (which was fixed now), so I wanted to trade him for the Wii (which he admitted he was missing). Technically both systems are more his than mine, since he payed the most money for both, but he does have 11 other systems at his place which belong to me (I never throw them away). Apparently my sister likes FF, and so does Luke (which sometimes annoys the shit out of me), so they both had Sephirothgasms all over each other. I didn't even know my sister had a PS2, there certainly wasn't one in her room. I never had one either, so she couldn't have played it with me. Maybe at a friend's house. Erika certainly made a mess of her ice cream, but most kids do.
We returned home, and hung out a bit for the rest of the evening. Sharon called and said she was sleeping over at Mark's (every day we see less and less of her). So my sister took Sharon's bed. When everybody was asleep, I pulled out the fleshlight. I began using it, but of course it had to be interrupted. Erika walked in to my room while I was fucking away at it. She couldn't see me obviously, so she didn't know what I was doing. I don't know if it made a loud noise, but I stopped when she came in and quickly pulled my pants up and threw the fleshlight on the floor. What she wanted to talk to me about was what she had in her pants. Urine, that is. She woke up and found she wet herself again. So I was playing dad while my throbbing dick was like "lol wut where da fleshlight at". "Do you have any nightmares that go along with you wetting yourself?" She said no, and that she dreams about dogs peeing on fire hydrants when she wets herself usually. "Well... bed-wetting is completely normal and some people just do it for longer than others. It will go away on its own though." I cleaned her up and sent her back to bed, and my sister was up, probably because I stumbled around in the dark and crashed into stuff (don't know how Erika does it). "What's wrong Jake?" "Nothing, Erika wet herself a bit." "Oh okay." She yawned and went back to bed. Then my penis dragged me back into my sleeping quarters, shot me in the face, and dumped my body in the river. Not really, but I did finish up with the fleshlight.
On Sunday, Luke made a little surprise visit. Him, my sister, and I played Gears of War a bit. My sister was a bit clueless, apparently real time is a bit of trouble for her. Erika sat on my lap and I had her man the button to activate the lancer's chainsaw, so I had her chainsawing aliens. And now, thanks to Luke, my sister wants to dress up as Yuna and go to an anime convention (Luke told her she'd made a good Yuna). I need to save my sister from weeabooism. Luke even tried to steal Erika for the FFanboys, saying she could be Rikku. Other than that, a pretty average day. I asked my sister to babysit tomorrow since I don't think I want to hire Megan again.
Sup /b/, blindmute loli guy here. As stated in a previous post, my sister is visiting me this week. I haven't actually seen much of her though, it seems that every time I get home from work she's going to the mall or something. I did just have an odd conversation with her though. She asked me how I felt about older guys dating younger women. I said that they should date guys more suited to their own age. And that's all she cared to hear on the matter. I know what you're thinking, sounds like some cliched incest setup, but there has been none of that. In other news, I've found a game that Erika can play. Typing of the Dead. She can't see the words needing to be typed so I have to tell her what needs to be typed (which can sometimes be a hazard in tense zombie situations) but she's actually become pretty good at using a keyboard. I just randomly found it on my computer. It's nice that she can enjoy two of my great loves though, typing and the slaying of the undead. Now if only they included an option to have a little zombie rape. Megan has been unsuccessfully trying to get me back (I think). Not for my amazing charms I would imagine, but some crazy other motive. She's being pretty outrageous about it too. She's complimented my dick size, then called me a pedophile, talked about herself sticking shampoo bottles up her ass, and all sorts of stupid things. I could get rid of her, but it's pretty funny. And as an added revenge, I told her old boyfriend she was single again so I imagine he's stalking her now.
For the most important thing today though, Erika told me something that I didn't exactly like. Erika said randomly today, "I almost got kissed today." LOL WUT. It seems Emo Eric, Jim's son, has a bit of anonymous in him. He was playing truth or dare with Erika, Melanie, and Amelia and dared Erika to kiss him. She refused, and luckily she had the good sense to tell me. I told her not to play those kinds of games with Eric, but there's still the matter of what to do with him. Unlike Luke, he's not my friend, and he went for the Erika directly so he's in a shitload trouble with me. By the time she had said this, it was too late to go over to Jim's so I had to let my anger simmer. There's two ways I could go with this. The first would be telling Jim, and let him dispense whatever forms of parental such-and-such he deems fit. The second would be to go over and rough Eric up a bit. I am liking the second one. Either way tomorrow I'm going to make sure Eric gets his horny little teenage mind put back into reality. There's a small chance he didn't mean anything by it, but an even bigger chance he's trying something that I definitely don't like. And if he ever tried anything further, he'd have a real problem. It's not like I can really stop her from going to Jim's (well I could), but she likes Melanie and Amelia so it's not a good idea. I'm wondering if Eric's ever tried something on his sisters. Darn, I really want to punch the shit out him (I'm no bodybuilder but he's pretty scrawny) but he's younger than me so I guess I can't without getting in trouble. Now I'm ranting about it but I'm actually pretty fucking pissed he would dare try something. Have to stay cool though. Erika said kissing boys is gross anyways, thank the lawd for her childhood innocence.
Hello /b/, blindmute loli guy here. So getting right to business, emo eric had a little rage from me coming today, being that he tried to violate the innocence of my Erika. How to get to him though? I decided on scaring him a bit. Just to make sure he would never even think of doing anything again. After work, I called Jim and asked if it would be okay if Erika could play with Amelia and Melanie there a bit. Jim said yes, as he always does since he's such a nice guy, and Erika and I were off. When we arrived, it seems emo Eric already had his game face on. He was downstairs and gave an enthusiastic hello to Erika. Bastard. I sat down to converse with Jim for a bit, but my real target was Eric. Eventually Erika became tired of our adult chit chat (as did I, Jim's a nice guy but he goes on and on) so she ran upstairs to play with Melanie and Amelia. And with that, Eric went to go upstairs too. Fuck, he's going to escape my clutches. So I needed some excuse real fast to follow Eric upstairs. Eureka! "Hey Jim can I use your bathroom?" Now in actuality this isn't much of a good excuse. Sharon's place, and Sharon's bathroom was extremely close, being that it is a duplex (but we don't share any actual rooms). Jim said "sure" though, so I ran upstairs behind Eric.
In the hallway, right behind my prey. I started slowly, acting like I was just walking to the bathroom innocently. But I had my predator eyes upon him. They lusted for his blood. Or at least his fear. Then he came to the opening of his room, which I entered and before he realized I had came in behind him I was holding him by his shirt against the wall. I put on my best slightly-crazy looking face, one that says "I just jerked off in the pancake batter." He didn't scream or struggle, he just gave me the deer in the headlights look. I'm pretty sure he knew what it was about, and I'm pretty sure he expected me to throw him out the window. Of course even though he knew exactly what it was all about, I couldn't let him off that easy. "Ever played truth or dare?" He didn't answer me, just gave me that frightened expression again. That alone was extremely satisfying. I sure wiped his "I'm so apathetic I don't care about anything I'M EMO" expression off of his face pretty damn fast. "Okay Eric I'm not going to kill you, because I'm older than you and I'd get in a lot of trouble. However, I will tell you this. If I find out, and I will find out, that you've been trying anymore of the shit you tried yesterday I will cut your dick off. Do you understand?" At this point I half let him go half pushed him into the wall and he fell down. At that point he actually groveled at my feet and thanked me, then apologized and said he'd never do anything again. Lulzworthy, since he didn't actually do anything he could really get in trouble (at least legally) for but he was treating it as a life or death situation which I just spared him from. Either way, it works for me. Upon leaving, I did have one last nugget of advice for him. "Try going after chicks your own age." And with that, I wrote down a phone number: Megan's.
So that was another problem solved. When Erika got home I asked her if she had seen Eric at all and she said he didn't come out of his room the entire time she was there. In other news, Mark has become an even bigger douchebag. He bought a motorcycle, and drives it in our driveway late at night to show Sharon. Erika was already asleep, and I'm sure Jim's family was too but no he had to come to see his wimman. And he couldn't just show her it, he had to rev it up really loud for 5-10 minutes it must have been because he's such a badass on it. He woke Erika up, who had this to write about it: "He's an asshole." I know I shouldn't be encouraging profanity (not like she already doesn't know tons of it), but I had to agree with her on that. I have a feeling tonight won't be the last time I hear that annoying "vroom, vroom". Megan's still trying to talk to me (as I'm writing this post, which is annoying) and she hasn't mentioned anybody calling her yet, so I guess Eric wimped out. In other news, my birthday is Sunday which is also the same day my sister is going home. I've began to form a little theory. I haven't seen much of her, she seems to be always going to the mall every day when I come home. That convo we had last night was the longest in a while. So I'm thinking, maybe she's planning a little surprise birthday party. It all fits in perfectly. My parents happen to be coming up the same day to pick her up, and she's been out possibly making preparations. Wishful thinking maybe, but it'd be nice. Thinking about it, I tried to interrogate Erika a bit to see if she knows anything. She told me nothing, but I'm not entirely sure she doesn't know anything.
Hey /b/, blindmute loli guy here. Saturday, started out as a normal day. All was peaceful and serene. A little too peaceful perhaps. Luke calls me up in the afternoon, saying he wants me to come over. So I ask my sister to watch Erika for a bit and I went over. I arrive, and Luke and I sit down in front of the Wii. Brain Age is in the Wii, so we begin to do a mind sprint. All memorization questions, my favorite subject. I'm focusing on remembering things, birds, faces, and numbers, and he begins to talk. "So Jake..." I'm only half-focusing on what he's saying, as we usual do when we play games. I'm noticing he's not actually even playing though, which starts to worry me. And then he just comes out and says it. "Jake, your sister and I are seeing each other." Yes, Luke and my sister were fucking. All of those times she want out to the "mall" were actually her going to see Luke. I got made, I got really fucking mad. Not only do they do this, they do it behind my back. There was even one day where my sister ditched Erika at Jim's (causing me not to know where she was causing me to freak out) before I got home from work to go out, which was actually to see Luke. Apparently Luke thought that I would take this more calmly than I did. I punched him right in the face and stormed out of the house.
I'm outside of Luke's house, storming around still pretty pissed (rightfully so though) and then I see a cop car come up the driveway. Oh fuck. They get out, yell at me to put my hands up, so I comply. They put me in handcuffs. "Sir you're not yet under arrest I'm just doing this for my safety." I love how they call you "sir" like they're serving you at a restaraunt. Luke had called the cops on me. He goes and fucks my sister, then he calls the fucking cops on me. So after Luke (his nose was bleeding) and I told our respective sides of the story, the cops decide I'm under arrest. They read me my rights, and off we go. So you've got the guy who just fucked a 13 year old girl, and the guy who punched him the face, and you take away the second guy? I was allowed one phone call, so I called Sharon's house. I picked up the phone, and it was answered, but nobody was speaking. So I assumed it was Erika on the other line. "Erika, get my sister on the phone." Nothing. After saying this a few more times, they tell me I need to hurry it up so I tell Erika this. "Erika, when Sharon comes home tell her..." and I then told her all the info she'll need. So no problem right? Sharon will come home, come down, bail me out, and it'll be fine. I ended up spending the night in the gaol.
I later learned from Erika that after they arrested me, Luke came to take my sister to his house, and that Sharon called later and said she was staying over with Mark. So my sister left Erika by herself. She says she did fine by herself (she knows her way around the apartment), but it still makes me feel like a failure parent. Saturday was a nice big failure. So we arrive at Sunday, my birthday (I'm now the ripe old age of 20). Did I get my wonderful surprise party? Haha, no. My sister was already gone, so I didn't see her or my parents. They called me later though to chew my ass out for "letting" her see Luke. As if I walked up to them and said "oh hay here's a condom, here's some lube, hope your ED is doing okay Luke bai". Sharon yelled at me too about it, saying I acted irresponsibly. She, the woman who is almost never home to be with the girl who is actually going to end up being her daughter legally because she's off galavanting with her douchebag bf on his douchebag motorcycle, is calling me irresponsible? Now at this point I had a little moral issue. Luke is cheating on Melinda, do I tell her? On one hand, Luke hid all of this from me, fucked my sister, and did tons of shitty things. On the other hand, why do I care? Luke and I are officially not friends now, and this time we probably won't make up. On a third hand, I do believe that if somebody is getting cheated on they deserve to know. And Luke might get kicked out of her house, which is good revenge. On yet another hand, that's sort of petty. On a final hand, I don't actually know if they had sex. But I bet they did. Fucking Luke can't keep his pedophile hands off of her. I gave him a lot of credit. He's done some bad shit before, but I let it slide. Now he's gone too far.
On a brighter note, possibly one of the greatest things ever happened today. Erika could sense I wasn't having a very good birthday, so she came up to me and gave me an envelope. A card? At this point, I just wanted to kiss Erika. She was the first person to even recognize it was my birthday (seriously, I hadn't even heard the word birthday). I opened up the enevelope, and there was a folded piece of paper inside. It was the the simplest, and the best card I could've ever gotten. On the inside it just said "Happy birthday dad." Yes, it was amazing. Tears wellling up in my eyes, it was a sappy happy moment. I just smiled at her and gave her a huge hug. I know you all probably understand how happy this makes me, it took away the whole sting of the weekend really. I can never replace her old parents, but the fact she recognizes me as her new dad makes everything worth it. It really is pretty amazing, all of this Luke-sister drama doesn't even really matter to me now. I'm starting to think that it may just be like this forever. Erika and I, father and daughter, and every day with her will just be like that. As for my sister and Luke, I don't really care about them anymore. They can do whatever they want, I'm tired of getting involved in everyone else's shit. I'm just going to worry about what's important to me, Erika and myself.
Hidy-ho /b/, blindmute loli guy present. I went over to Luke's house today (when he wasn't home). Luke and I are officially ex-friends, so I wanted to get all of my shit back, and give him his shit back. I gave him back his 360, and then took every other old system that I had collected over the years (quite a few) and all the games for them and took them back. Melinda was there, and I had the chance to tell her about Luke's cheating. I bit my tongue though. Why? Well, I decided I might as well be peaceful. Let what is be. I had a bit of remorse driving home though. I checked up with Erika on the emo Eric situation. She said that she never sees Eric anymore, and that she preferred it because he smelled (it's true, somebody needs to introduce him to a friend I call deodorant). Threat down. For the most outrageous thing that happened today though, I found out why my sister is a huge bitch. I had a littel talk with her today. It turns out she wasn't seducing Luke because she liked liked Luke. Now get this, a testament to how crazy women can be.
She was doing it to make her boyfriend jealous. And her boyfriend happened to be the same guy that she got in that accident with. Yeah, it sounds stupid, because it is stupid. They apparently got into a fight before she came here, and she saw that Luke expressed an interest in her, so she thought'd she make a new boyfriend to get back at her current one. And how did it turn out? Her bf that she was with broke up with her, and Luke knows not to even attempt to go near her or he'll be looking at some major shit from my parents. So now she's got nobody. I'm extremely disappointed in her personally, I guess I thought she was little miss innocent because she was my sister. She also must of somehow convinced our parents that it wasn't her fault, because it seems she got off the hook. I know she wouldn't have been on her computer if she had gotten in trouble, but it seems she was. This leaves me a question though. I know I declared Luke and me ex-friends, but there are some things that need to be considered.
Reasons why I should hate Luke: 1. He fucked my sister. 2. He did all of this behind my back. 3. She was 13, and he did it anyways. 4. He called the cops on me. 5. If he's fucking a 13 year old, how much can I really trust his behavior? Reason why I shouldn't hate Luke: 1. From what I've heard, it seems like my sister was seducing him more than he was preying on her 2. He has been my best friend for a while 3. He did end up telling me, meaning he felt guilty 4. To be fair, I did punch him in the face and had previously beat him with a lamp, so he did have a reason to be scared. 5. He did let me stay with him for a long while As it stands, we're still not friends though and I don't see it changing any time soon. When I told Erika I had no friends though, she reminded me that I was her best friend. Very true.
(copied from a pastebin archive)
If you're reading this you already know who it is so why bother saying it? Anyways, I'll just say it. She's gone, she's fucking gone. Adoption application was rejected. Why? Well Sharon told me that is was my fault, that my little run in with the police was the problem. Well it wasn't, Sharon left out a little bit of information, that her fucking douchebag boyfriend has a bit of a criminal history.
Sharon gets home, pulls me to the side to tell me this. I still can't fucking believe it. They just, stamped some "DENIED" on a goddamn piece of paper and it's over. I had to look at Erika on the couch, perfectly fine going about her business and it was up to me fucking tell her. So I started telling her, and I knew I was breaking. I knew I wasn't going to last any longer. I started crying on her, and when she heard she did the same thing. Sharon just basically pulled her away from me and all I could fucking cry, I barely even said a goodbye. When she left, I just fucking sat there crying like an asshole, and then I became impetuous as I usually am thinking I needed to go kill myself. Of course I didn't, thought it over and thought that it would be okay. Surely there's gotta be some sort of appeal right? Surely I can go see her until then? Surely it'll get sorted out, right?
Well today, nope. I tried asking Sharon if there was anything, she could tell I was miserable and that it was killing. And here's what she fucking said to me. "Jake, maybe it's time you move on." "Jake, you're young, you don't need a kid to worry about." and "Jake, Mark and I are getting married, we want to start our own family." I wanted to strangle Sharon, I really did. I guess that's her opinion of it. Erika was just a phase and now her and I can move on with our lives and do something else. That fucking cunt, she knew it all along. She knew it would be rejected, she wanted it to be. She probably did it herself, that bitch. I hate her. She's going to marry that douchebag. She also said it's time I find another place to stay (in her nice little roundabout cunt way). So yeah, I'm back where I started. No Erika, no house.
I tried going down to the children's home to visit her. THEY FUCKING REJECTED ME. They said that visitation was for potential adopters only, and being that I'm rejected I'm not a potential adopter. That's just all they do is fucking reject and reject. So what does this mean? I'm never going to fucking see her at all again? That last little crying bit was the last I get to see her?
I tried calling Luke, he hates me. He said he doesn't want anything to do with me. He told Melinda himself, and she already forgave him. My little sister doesn't like me much either. My parents are still pissed at me, can't go with them. Sharon basically told me I'm a fucking leech. Mark despises me. Megan's got a new boyfriend and doesn't want anything to do with me. So yeah, there you go. You all win. I know everybody out here reading this, and everybody in the chat enjoys it more when shit goes bad for me then when shit goes good. YOU FUCKING WIN GUYS. Fuck you all. I guess it goes without saying this is the last you'll ever hear of me, I may be in chat or sign onto that aim name if I don't kill myself tonight (it's looking pretty damn good, I have to tell you) but I don't know why I should when all of you just wanted to see my fail. You win, I failed. I get nothing. I hope you enjoy that, I hope you all really do. Sharon, Luke, they all wanted me to fail too. I really do hate the world though, why shouldn't I? What happened to fucking karma? It works in the exact goddamn opposite for me. I try to do nice stuff and all I get is shit. It's over, I won't see her again. I really do feel like just being rid of all of the stupid shit this world has to offer.
Well it's the blindmute loli guy, not dead. Some things happened the night I made my last post, but I don't feel like going into them so I won't. In other news, not much has improved. I spent the whole week sulking, quit my job, went to shit huddled up on Sharon's floor. She put up with me a bit, and then dumped my ass out. So I moved back in my with my parents. That's where I am now, with them with no job. My sister still hates me, and I don't think my parents care for me much either. I talked to them about adopting Erika themselves. They basically told me "no". They like her, but they said they're old. They've already raised their kids, and now they're done. I tried reasoning with them, I tried pulling on every heartstring I could find but it didn't work. I've realized that everybody around me thought the whole thing was a stupid idea in the first place, that nobody ever thought I was a fit parent. I'm not dead, if that's a positive. I haven't seen or talked to Erika since she was taken away. We're now hundreds of miles apart. She probably thinks I've forgotten all about her, that I don't care anymore about her. In actuality I'm killing myself thinking of her constantly, but I can't do anything. Nobody wants to help me at all. I don't think I'll ever have anything else worth reporting, but if anything comes up I'll let everybody know. I think we've been torn apart forever, and honestly I'm going to feel guilty about it forever. I had one chance to do something for her, and I failed. Now she'll just live a shitty life, and it's my fault.
David Sellydud 07/08/29(Wed)21:33 No.12042
A spectre is haunting CPS - a spectre of bureaucratic bullshit.
This is a declaration of war. War, you say? Yes. As you all know, for the last week in a half or so I've been having Emofest 2007. There was baaawing, and there was more baawing. But you already all know this. I'll just get to the point. I'm not giving up. I owe it to Erika and to myself. So what am I doing now? Tomorrow, I'm going down to the orphanage where Erika is at. And I'm not going to ask, I'm going to demand they allow me to see her. Sharon was the one rejected, not me, so they're going to let me see her or I'm going to gather Fred Phelps and the WBC and have a giant bukkake on the face of every staff member there. As you can see, I'm not depressed anymore. It solves nothing at all to sit around crying about things you could probably fix if you got off of your ass and did something. I'm leaving tomorrow and driving down there. As for adopting here, I'm not done yet as far as that goes either. My parents agreed to help me out. How did I convince them? I let them read every post on Wikichan. Yes, I was that desperate. Some parts were a bit painful to have them read, I'm sure they know more about their son than they ever wanted to know now (my father laughed his ass off when he read about my sex (mis)adventure though). "Sometimes the train leaves the station a bit too early Jake. Just be glad you're not my age, sometimes it doesn't leave the station at all."
David Sellydud 07/08/29(Wed)21:34 No.12043
As for those of you who didn't like Luke, he apparently got what he deserves. My sister told me that she heard from Luke (who called her and got her in trouble) that he was kicked out of Melinda's place for telling her about his infidelity. The real kicker: he asked her to move into our house. My sister actually was stupid enough to ask, which resulted in my parents yelling at her for quite a bit. My sis and I have decided to make up though. Sure, she did some stupid shit, but I can relate to that. We still love each other anyways. Basically, things aren't hopeless. Things were never hopeless actually. People have always said you have to work for what you want, and I want Erika. I really really do. If I don't make a fighting effort at this I'm going to regret it forever. Since today I've just been warming up, but now I realize this may be a bit harder than I thought. But I don't care. I'm certainly tired of being a quitter. So CPS better know this: Surrender now or prepare to fight.
(meowth that's right)
PS. I saw the thread on /i/. It was really heart warming, and one of the things that motivated me to get off of my ass. If some random internet people are willing to fight for Erika, then there's no reason I shouldn't. If my plans now fail, I will request /i/'s assistance. But I have to make one last effort by myself. Since you guys really helped me, I decided to post this thread on 420chan as opposed to 4chan. I hope nobody minds.