Editing The Return of the Well Cultured Anonymous/Academia
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* Make sure you keep track of the source of all the information you put in any work you do for the IB, and cite it ''in the right place and in the right way''. | * Make sure you keep track of the source of all the information you put in any work you do for the IB, and cite it ''in the right place and in the right way''. | ||
* The exams are in early May, so there is no excuse for "senioritis" before then. | * The exams are in early May, so there is no excuse for "senioritis" before then. | ||
==College/university entrance exams== | |||
Check to see if the college you want requires ACT or SAT scores. These are little numbers that mean absolutely nothing except how well you can memorize and pump out selected answers for either test. It's incredibly stupid- but for the average /b/tard, it is ripe for abuse. | Check to see if the college you want requires ACT or SAT scores. These are little numbers that mean absolutely nothing except how well you can memorize and pump out selected answers for either test. It's incredibly stupid- but for the average /b/tard, it is ripe for abuse. | ||
===Tips and tricks=== | |||
* The "New SAT" doesn't require analogies. Don't even fucking study them. | ====Pre-2016 SAT==== | ||
* Don't read this section unless you're a time traveler or historical researcher. | |||
* The "New SAT" doesn't require analogies. Don't even fucking study them. | |||
* If you cannot figure out a question for the life of you, fucking leave it blank, its better to leave it blank than to get it wrong and fuck it up, losing 1.25 points. | |||
* Take SAT prep courses, but don't do it too often. A word about selecting an SAT prep course - SAT courses require you to invest a lot of your time and your money, make sure you do your research before handing them your money. Good SAT 1 programs usually develop their own materials, usually better methods of approaching the problems, or verbal/math drills. Good SAT 1 programs usually also abide by a strict weekly schedule and assign homework. Grow the fuck up and try to learn something there if you never bothered paying attention in real school. Don't bother with Princeton Review, they purposefully design their final practice test to be infinitely easier than their first diagnostic test so you will feel like you learned something when you really didn't. | |||
* Also, PREPARE FOR THE ESSAY! It is 20 minutes, and if you have not practiced writing a complete essay in that time, it will be very hard. The SAT graders are only looking to see the strength of your examples, no matter if they are cliche or not. For example, a good thing to do is to have a couple of famous figures preloaded in your head, with facts about them, that you could incorporate into your essay. I, for example, used MLK, Helen Keller, or Abe Lincoln. Since most SAT prompts involve "Perseverance" or "Determination" or some shit, those three always work, no matter how cliche it is. You need to have an intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion for the maximum score. | |||
* Buy a study guide for the tests if you feel you're way over your head. ''10 Real SATs'' is pretty decent and is fairly inexpensive from online retailers. Also Gruber's SAT is an important must have, their sample tests are damn realistic. Barron's is good excellent, their problems are usually harder than the real thing (this applies to all Barron's books) so if you can do good on a Barron's practice exam, you are pretty much good to go. Both Barron's and Gruber's SAT have comprehensive break down sections where they teach you the strategies and drill you on practice problems. Cliff's is decent as well. Study these books in conjunction with the material you are provided with from your SAT course. Again, don't even bother with the Princeton Review, their problems are way too easy and are nothing like the real thing. | |||
* "SAT 2" is now known as the "SAT Subject Tests". Most schools will not require them, except for liberal arts schools, but most UC schools recommend "Mathematics Level 2" (the new name for Math II) and one of Biology, Chemistry, and Physics for STEM majors. | |||
* This piece of advice applies to SAT2 math 2C [SAT Subject Tests Mathematics Level 2] only - there are 50 questions on the exam, and an hour to do them. In the first five minutes, look over the exam, and cross out 5 questions you know for sure you don't know how to do; you can leave 5 questions blank and walk away with an 800. Come back to them in the end if you have time, though. If there are more than 5 you don't know how to do, don't do them, leave them blank; the point deduction is brutal: you lose a quarter point for every question you get wrong. | |||
====Post-2016 SAT==== | |||
* Read this section and the one below, but not the one above. | |||
* "SAT 2", later renamed the "SAT Subject Tests", have been abolished by the time you read this. | * "SAT 2", later renamed the "SAT Subject Tests", have been abolished by the time you read this. | ||
* Do the Khan Academy practice, following the plan it sets out. The practice tests are usually harder than the real thing. I got 100 over my last practice test, for example. | * Do the Khan Academy practice, following the plan it sets out. The practice tests are usually harder than the real thing. I got 100 over my last practice test, for example. | ||
* There is no penalty for guessing wrong. Therefore you should guess every question. | * There is no penalty for guessing wrong. Therefore you should guess every question. | ||
* All questions are passage-based. Brush up on your passage-reading skills; the best way to do that is simply to read, read, read. The passages include historical documents, academic texts, and other real-life works. Vocabulary questions now ask what the meaning of a word as it is used in the passage is, meaning they can be tested through the context. | * All questions are passage-based. Brush up on your passage-reading skills; the best way to do that is simply to read, read, read. The passages include historical documents, academic texts, and other real-life works. Vocabulary questions now ask what the meaning of a word as it is used in the passage is, meaning they can be tested through the context. | ||
* For your essay you are | * For your essay you are required to analyze a news/opinion piece. You will always be asked to analyze the piece on 3 things: facts/evidence, reasoning, and rhetorical techniques (shit like appeal to emotion, figurative language, all the shit you should have learned in middle school). For the facts section take every major point of the piece, and find a statistic/fact the author uses to support it. For the reasoning section find a use of logic by the author, be it to develop one point or to connect point to point. For the rhetorical techniques section, it's really a mixed bag. If you can find any features of the piece that impress you, good job, write that down. If not, try to put yourself in your examiner's shoes and think what he would be impressed by. As long as you justify it enough you should have no trouble bullshitting your way through this section. The essay is required by many but by no means most schools. | ||
====Applicable to both==== | |||
* Learn vocabulary. Your SAT course is likely to provide you with huge vocabulary lists and their definitions, learn those. Make flashcards and do like 20 a day and quiz yourself weekly and go back and relearn the ones you missed. The other method is to read a lot of good books for intellectuals, do crosswords, read the newspaper. | * Learn vocabulary. Your SAT course is likely to provide you with huge vocabulary lists and their definitions, learn those. Make flashcards and do like 20 a day and quiz yourself weekly and go back and relearn the ones you missed. The other method is to read a lot of good books for intellectuals, do crosswords, read the newspaper. | ||
* Practice the test alone, and time yourself. Free time at the end gives you time to access programs on your TI, including cheats. | * Practice the test alone, and time yourself. Free time at the end gives you time to access programs on your TI, including cheats. | ||
* Allow yourself time to retake the test if you don't do well on it the first time. | * Allow yourself time to retake the test if you don't do well on it the first time. | ||
* Tips for test day: At least a week or two in advance, figure out where your test location is, figure out the fastest way to get there. When you get there, familiarize yourself with the environment, know where the restrooms are, where the parking lot is. If you know the exact room number of your test location, and if you are allowed to, try to sit in the room for a bit and familiarize yourself with it, bring some practice problems, or even a full timed practice test and work on it in the room. Point is, reduce as much stress as you can for your test day. DO NOT study the day before the test, it may be tempting, but don't do it. However it is a good idea to do a full timed practice test two days before test day just to warm you up. Start Wrapping up your studying a week in advance, and let that last week just be odds and ends (and the very last practice test two days before test day). Get 8 hours of sleep the night before and set an alarm the next morning, don't be an idiot and get fucked up that week, there's plenty of time to get fucked up in college which you need a good score to get into. On the day of the test, don't worry about anything, do not skip breakfast, do not overkill on coffee. Try to arrive at the test site at least half an hour in advance, leaving space for error. Bring at least two number 2 pencils, a pencil sharpener, a good eraser, a mechanical pencil, a pack of lead, your calculator, and your admission ticket. Don't bubble in a question immediately after answering it, circle the right answer in the test booklet first, fill half the bubbles in when you are half done, then the other half when you are all done, this gives your brain a break in the middle since bubble filling is pretty much mindless busywork. Remember - you would rather leave a problem blank than to fuck it up (most SAT prep instructors and tutors will encourage you to make educated guesses, or make a guess after eliminating one answer you know for sure is wrong, this is a very valid piece of advice). After the test, go celebrate, smoke up, drink up, go eat with your friends, DO NOT discuss the exam, it will make you unnecessarily anxious. That should be it, good luck faggots. | * Tips for test day: At least a week or two in advance, figure out where your test location is, figure out the fastest way to get there. When you get there, familiarize yourself with the environment, know where the restrooms are, where the parking lot is. If you know the exact room number of your test location, and if you are allowed to, try to sit in the room for a bit and familiarize yourself with it, bring some practice problems, or even a full timed practice test and work on it in the room. Point is, reduce as much stress as you can for your test day. DO NOT study the day before the test, it may be tempting, but don't do it. However it is a good idea to do a full timed practice test two days before test day just to warm you up. Start Wrapping up your studying a week in advance, and let that last week just be odds and ends (and the very last practice test two days before test day). Get 8 hours of sleep the night before and set an alarm the next morning, don't be an idiot and get fucked up that week, there's plenty of time to get fucked up in college which you need a good score to get into. On the day of the test, don't worry about anything, do not skip breakfast, do not overkill on coffee. Try to arrive at the test site at least half an hour in advance, leaving space for error. Bring at least two number 2 pencils, a pencil sharpener, a good eraser, a mechanical pencil, a pack of lead, your calculator, and your admission ticket. Don't bubble in a question immediately after answering it, circle the right answer in the test booklet first, fill half the bubbles in when you are half done, then the other half when you are all done, this gives your brain a break in the middle since bubble filling is pretty much mindless busywork. Remember - you would rather leave a problem blank than to fuck it up (most SAT prep instructors and tutors will encourage you to make educated guesses, or make a guess after eliminating one answer you know for sure is wrong, this is a very valid piece of advice). After the test, go celebrate, smoke up, drink up, go eat with your friends, DO NOT discuss the exam, it will make you unnecessarily anxious. That should be it, good luck faggots. | ||
* Buy an advanced Texas Instruments calculator. Then program cheat programs on it. This is how most "geeky" kids get high scores. These programs can be stupidly simple things (such as a program for figuring out quadratics or something), or fucking complex (calculus thingamajigs). Be careful about cheating though, the proctor will report you if caught. | * Buy an advanced Texas Instruments calculator. Then program cheat programs on it. This is how most "geeky" kids get high scores. These programs can be stupidly simple things (such as a program for figuring out quadratics or something), or fucking complex (calculus thingamajigs). Be careful about cheating though, the proctor will report you if caught. | ||
* For SAT 2s [SAT Subject Tests], Don't take moar than one per day unless you have to. Trust me. There is an option to cancel your score at the end of your exam but if you submit that cancellation form, all your tests taken that day are cancelled. | |||
===Penis size=== | |||
Please keep in mind that your SAT score != Penis size ( | Please keep in mind that your SAT score != Penis size (OP score for Australians). You will no doubt find people enthralled by their 1600 "Perfect" on the SAT. That's wonderful for them, but for the "rest" of us, it means absolutely nothing. Scholarships tend to frown on such things sometimes, because people who obsess over such tests tend to be very one-track-minded. Even with a score of 400 out of 1600 on the SAT, you could get into a very prestigious University if you have achievements and extra credit activities. Nonetheless, some little dickwad in your school will probably try to obsess over the SAT- trust me, everyone else is laughing at him too. | ||
High school counselors can tell you more about registering or you can go to the following sites: | High school counselors can tell you more about registering or you can go to the following sites: | ||
* SAT Information [http://www.collegeboard.com | * SAT Information [http://www.collegeboard.com Collegeboard] | ||
* ACT Information [http://www.actstudent.org/index.html ACT Student] | * ACT Information [http://www.actstudent.org/index.html ACT Student] | ||
===Paying for it all=== | ===Paying for it all=== | ||
Check the universities you're applying for to see if they had special university wide scholarships. There are usually major specific scholarships (ex. science, business, etc.) that one can look into. Most scholarships require you have at least a GPA of over 2.5. Check out scholarship website searches like Fast Web to see what you qualify for. If you can't find a scholarship that fits you, try looking into student loans. | Check the universities you're applying for to see if they had special university wide scholarships. There are usually major specific scholarships (ex. science, business, etc.) that one can look into. Most scholarships require you have at least a GPA of over 2.5. Check out scholarship website searches like Fast Web to see what you qualify for. If you can't find a scholarship that fits you, try looking into student loans. | ||
==Tertiary Education== | ==Tertiary Education== | ||
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College/Junior College is a Septic name for an adult day care centre. SRSLY. | College/Junior College is a Septic name for an adult day care centre. SRSLY. | ||
Footnote | Footnote: | ||
This, for us Amerikkans, refers to Community College and (some) Colleges. No matter how you twist it, a normal college is much under a University nowadays. The majority of reputable schools are now Universities. That means that unless you're going into a smaller major (such as Education or something), going to a bland state college is four years of waste. This ESPECIALLY applies to "party schools", such as (debating) Florida State. Universities, however, as you can see below, are your ticket to money. | This, for us Amerikkans, refers to Community College and (some) Colleges. No matter how you twist it, a normal college is much under a University nowadays. The majority of reputable schools are now Universities. That means that unless you're going into a smaller major (such as Education or something), going to a bland state college is four years of waste. This ESPECIALLY applies to "party schools", such as (debating) Florida State. Universities, however, as you can see below, are your ticket to money. | ||
===University=== | ===University=== | ||
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* '''Never hide in your dorm room.''' You will never meet people that way. Ever. | * '''Never hide in your dorm room.''' You will never meet people that way. Ever. | ||
Oh yeah, and one note on a personal side: | |||
''No-one is ever impressed by a guy who can get laid with a really drunk girl, even really dumb guys can do that (and they often do). The real skill and awesomeness is getting a sober girl.'' | |||