The Uncultured Anonymous/Getting with Lolis

What is a Loli?

A loli is God's way of giving you an ignorant, impressionable sex slave in the body of a little girl. A Loli really, in definition, is someone who is illegal in the sexual department, usually between the ages of 6 and 12. Any younger is a toddler and any older would be Jailbait, a loli in the form of a 14 to 16 year old girl.

Why Lolis?

Lolis are sought after by Anonymous (before the founding of AnonTalk, anyway) because they are three things: Easy, dangerous, and most importantly, illegal. Anonymous laughs at illegal with an encrypted flash drive full of CP and JB. In terms of the non-anon, Lolis are Children, who are sought after by pedophiles, or those just looking for an easy fuck. Why they are sought after is simple, they are illegal, thus raising the stakes. The fact that they are illegal makes it seem like an accomplishment to pooper them, a feat of invincibility. Or you just like DFC.

From an Anon's POV

Lolis are that little girl next door, who probably has a crush on you. Why? Well read in the next section. As for Anonymous, you're just looking for some good old fashion DFC, Glossary#DFC. DFC is an odd subject, because while Anon's fawn over Peace-chan and other titties, DFC is where its at. Its those perky little pre-pubescent mounds that drive all actions of anon, the ultimate form of WIN. DFC is to anon like the World Cup is to Europe.

From a Loli's POV

Anonymous to a Loli is not anonymous at all. They are oblivious to all forms of Glossary#Win, Glossary#Fail, and 4chan itself. They are merely little girls waiting for a good poopering. Why they fawn over older males is because it makes them feel mature. Maturity is their ultimate form of Win, MATUREGET is their goal. Being infatuated with older males is natural for them. Lolis do not like being Lolis, they want to be JB and full grown women because it makes them feel grown up. Being with an older male is simply the greatest thing to them because it gives them this feeling like, "I can please a man, so that means I am a woman!" And this is where Anonymous comes in.

How to GET a Loli

Preparation/Etiquette

This is not just something you can just get up and do. Anonymous must be ready for it, and it can take up to years of preparation. This Anonymous writing this has loli prepped and ready right now, its just all about when.(I will report and include pics, it just depends on when the time is right to "strike") Lolis are like homemade bread, as in they require little attention, but it takes a while to get the breadmaker through its cycle, and once ready you have to do some work to get those cinnamon rolls cooking.

The point of LoliGET is to be mature, act mature, look mature, talk mature. For the love of Longcat, be older than her by at least three years, and be good to her and her parents. This obviously means you have to be near this loli, and even see her on a daily to weekly basis, the optimal location being next door to you or a family friend down the street. Your main goal is to get in good with the parents, make them trust you, make them like you, let them get you with her alone. Easy ways to do this:

1. Look clean, have some class, be responsible, or at least play the part. See Grooming 2. Be polite, have manners! Table manners to parents are an instant way of telling who you are, much like shoes are to high schoolers. See Manners. 3. Have a look like you care about their daughter in a fatherly/brotherly manner, not a sexual manner. Play outside with her and her friends and lose in games on purpose, make sure the parents are watching. Be close, but keep your distance, you don't want them seeing you giving her a kiss on the cheek, but rather a big ol' bear hug. 4. Help her with everything you can, this includes homework, learning something new, and be there for her when she fails. Make sure that when the most golden opportunity comes, injury, you are responsible and in control. Tell her parents, have her in your arms, and soothe her. Call the Hospital if you have to, but what your aiming for is to look like you just saved her life, whether it be a scratch or a broken bone. And for God's Sake, be calm, always. 5. Most importantly, always smile when around her! You want to make her and her parents feel like you want to do what you're doing, don't make it seem like she's some burden or a work in progress, make her be the highlight of your day, but don't be obsessive.

The Time

To successfully pooper a loli, you need time, which you will not get with her parents there. If she has parents that work, offer to watch her while they are gone or if they are going out of town, do the same, but with more enthusiasm, seem interested in doing it, not just for the money, but say you want to make sure she's not lonely while gone and she will be okay. Basically seem like you are interested in her safety more than your own pockets, and don't you dare even mention anything close to sexual, as this ruins you for good. If they never leave basically, offer to get her away from her house for the day or a couple hours, whether it be the old "She looked bored, so I thought I would cheer her up!" type of deal. Even offer to take friends to seem genuine, but not too good to be true. The point of friends are that of a spotter, making sure you're doing fine on your own, and to help when needed. Friends can be a problem, as you haven't really "prepared" like your main loli goal, so be wary if in public with two little girls: Keep your distance, but stay close enough to ensure safety and seem caring, give the impression that you are their brother. Its hard to get her alone if the point of taking her friend/friends is to make sure they have fun together. So a "get her out" is not a pooper situation if friends come, but it is a good opportunity for something else...

No, not a threesome/foursome, but rather reconnaissance. Lets face it, little girls are teases to each other, and the number one they do is reveal who they "like" to one another and even tease each other with said information. If you hear your name pop up, which believe me if you played your cards right will happen, then act both in an embarrassed manner and in a devious manner, act like your with her little friends and even snicker, but seem like they just dropped a secret which you seem interested in. If this type of situation happens, then you're in, you just need a little time. If said situation pops up, when alone after dropping off friends, ask her if what they said where true. If she says yes, then say that you always found her the cutest and best out of her little group, and if she says no, then act disappointed, maybe even say that's too bad. This will raise a red flag in her head. She might even turn to you and say that it was true. This is merely a formality-type of situation, its about putting her on the spot, not you. You know she likes you from her friends, because they do not lie, its all about making sure she knows that you know and even like her back. WARNING!!!!! IF YOU DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING, YOU ARE SCREWED, B&, AND V&!!! Make sure you tell her not to tell her parents you like her, and make sure she knows that if she does, you will not see each other again. If you just say don't tell your parents, then she will feel like you or she did something wrong, add the end to show it's your secret, not a bad thing.

If you have her alone because you took up babysitting her, then the whole thing is different. There are no teasing friends, there is no catalyst to get the situation moving. You will have to be. There can be several situations in which you can tell her, but the best and easiest is a Truth or Dare situation. Basically offer a game of TOD to her, and ask her some stupid shit as a safety. Then pop it when she chooses truth, "Do you like me?" Once you get her on the spot, she will put you on the spot, or she might have already, just answer with a yes then counter her with a question that will lead to the moment you've been waiting for, "Do you want to kiss?" or something along those lines. It may sound too, good to be true, but it WILL work, 100%. Its her natural reaction, to make herself feel mature by connecting with you. Just take things slow, but steady and you should be poopering a loli! Make sure once the deed is done, you seem to genuinely like her and tell her to never tell anyone, ever. Don't even mention the Party van, as this will bring up those red flags in her head, the feeling of what you just did is wrong. If you did it all right, just act the same around her and her parents as always, and you may find yourself with a continually fuckable loli friend!