Shoggy the Seldom Dog

Shoggy.jpg

The Party Pet Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 15:06:54 No.32461889

Quoted By: >>32461908 >>32468255
I’d like to share the story of one of my favorite NPCs: a party pet called Shoggy the Seldom Dog. A friendly dog that randomly polymorphed every few hours.

>I’ll dump his origin quickly then if there’s interest I have some of his better moments pre-typed. Please share any of your own stories if you have them.


Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 15:07:57 No.32461908 Report
Quoted By: >>32461929 >>32474213

>>32461889

Many years ago our group was engaged by the local authorities to determine the source of a recent spike in monstrous attacks and deal with it if possible. At the end of our search we found a secluded magical laboratory complex that was literally oozing magical contaminants and sounded like a cross between a zoo and a fireworks show. After some reconnaissance and a little kidnapping we established that some Wizards, Alchemists, and a few very odd Druids were doing some serious (but poorly organized) science on the concept of War Animals. Specifically they seemed to be working on the theory that turning a War Dog into a War Manticore was a lot easier than training a War Manticore.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 15:09:22 No.32461929 Report
Quoted By: >>32461995 >>32474213

>>32461908

Us being the usual morally ambiguous bunch of murderhobos we decided to go wreck their shit in the name of the local populace, animal rights, and free loot. Unfortunately about 10 feet in we fucked up and triggered a mass paralyze trap and got chucked in the animal pens alongside various vicious animals. At this point we encountered an oddity: a quite friendly dog who was NOT penned up like his fellows. We convinced the pooch to fetch us the keys then made our escape and followed the usual procedure of murder and arson.

Unfortunately our little escapade ended when the fire reached the alchemists' laboratories and the entire place went up in a technicolor explosion. As the remains of our party surveyed the wreckage out digs the friendly dog that got us the keys. He was obviously pretty shaken up by the explosion and stuck to us like glue while we looted everything that wasn't on fire. In the end we decided to keep the cute little bugger long enough to find him a home.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 15:13:02 No.32461995 Report
Quoted By: >>32462391 >>32462589 >>32474213

>>32461929

That night our camp was thrown into chaos by the sudden appearance of a Shoggoth which proceeded to chase us around as we freaked the fuck out. We eventually figured out what was going on after the Shoggoth kept licking people and went and hid in a tent after someone hit it. We did what any adventuring group would do in this situation: we named him Shoggy and started planning on how to weaponize him, after all it’s not every day your group gains a pet War Shoggoth. This plan started seeming less feasible when he reverted to dog form during our travel the next day, and even less so when he turned into a mule that night. We redubbed him Shoggy the Seldom Dog and he wound up staying with our party through all of our adventures after that (we never did manage to make him a War anything though).

Shoggy outlived over a dozen PCs and was a great source of good feels and comedic relief in our group. Many adventures were had as we figured out his rather unique abilities and he saved our asses on several occasions. I can’t remember the names of most of the NPCs from those games (or half the PCs for that matter) but I’ll always remember Shoggy.

>And that's the origin of Shoggy the Seldom Dog. I have the following stories pre-typed if there's interest in them:

>Losing Town Privileges

>PETA

>Shoggy and That Guy

>Best Intimidate Check Ever

>If there's no interest I'll just hold onto this until someone else starts a good story thread.


[Here we diverge from the story a bit for a special interjection]

Anonymous[Not OP] Fri 30 May 2014 15:14:01 No.32462014 Report
Quoted By: >>32462124
My group's had a lot of fun with party "mascots" or pets. There was, in no particular order:

>Mr. Fluffers, the kitten

>Marlowe, the talking ferret who definitely isn't Loki

>The Magical Burst Game mascot, Who Was Pretty Untrustworthy

>Marlowe, who I probably-okay, yeah, but just to be clear, he wasn't Loki

And now in the newest game:

>Rex, the dog who wears sunglasses

Marlowe was by far my favorite, but Rex should be fun too.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 15:20:29 No.32462124 Report
Quoted By: >>32462192

>>32462014

Lokis can be tricky, how did you know for sure?

Anonymous [Not OP] Fri 30 May 2014 15:24:01 No.32462192 Report

>>32462124

The real Loki would never be so obvious to tell, in extreme detail, the story of how Loki and Thor infiltrated a giant's wedding and dressed Thor in drag. That's the sort of obvious, rookie mistake that Loki would never make if he was trying to impersonate a perfectly normal talking ferret. As such, Marlowe couldn't be Loki, and had to just be an ordinary ferret instead.

You know, who could talk.

[Back to your regularly scheduled programming]


Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 15:34:54 No.32462391 Report
Quoted By: >>32462656

>>32461995

I, for one, would love to hear (or read, as the case may be) all of those, and more.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 15:47:00 No.32462656 Report
Quoted By: >>32463295 >>32474213 >>32477097

>>32462391

>I'm going to try not to spam the boards, so I'll just dump one and wait a bit before I dump the next

>Coming into Town Privileges

Shoggy lost his Coming into Town privileges pretty quickly. Through sheer luck he stayed a dog through our first town visit, and due to some poor guessing about how his polymorphing worked we assumed that he would be fine in the next town as well. He was doing fine while we hung out in an inn and made inquiries about the main plot of the current campaign, until during dinner when he turned into a goat. We took this in stride and put him into the stables with the horses for the night after apologizing to the innkeeper. Four hours later he turned into a troll.

Horses panicked, then people panicked, then the guards were called, then the bard crit failed a diplomacy check, then it was more or less a Scooby-Doo chase scene. Except the mob was chasing the monster and the monster was actually Scooby, and Shaggy had five men out for his balls, literally. This was where we learned that Shoggy was not just friendly, he was also a bloody coward. His default response to danger / angry people / loud noises / men in large hats was to stick to the first one of us he could find and whimper. We survived that through a great deal of running and very determinedly avoided killing anyone.

Only one member of our party managed to avoid being associated with us and managed to get the info we needed the next day, but the Bard wound up being put on a few Wanted Posters for the crimes of "Inciting Panic, Resisting Arrest, and Bestiality". He was referred to as Tommy Troll-Fucker for a while after that. Shoggy was no longer allowed in towns after that (unless we had a very good way to keep him out of sight), and would often stay in camp with anyone who was persona-non-grata to the locals, such as Tommy Troll-Fucker.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 16:27:30 No.32463295 Report
Quoted By: >>32463320 >>32474213

>>32462656

>PETA

We all know PETA is a bunch of assholes, but Fantasy PETA is even worse.

At one point in our travels we had to spend an fairly extended stay in a city, so we wound up buying a warehouse and using it as our home. Shoggy was confined to the warehouse and unfortunately got a bit bored when everyone was out ‘working’. He took up the habit of barking and howling when left alone, and while that’s normal for a dog it attracts a bit more attention when it’s a gryphon or a drake or a basilisk. Eventually the constant animal sounds attracted the attention of the fantasy PETA, and a bunch of college age Druids and Rangers broke in while everyone was out to liberate the poor beasties that were making such a racket.

Inside they found a poor little Unicorn tethered to the floor with a heavily enchanted chain (we learned THAT lesson the hard way). They liberated Shoggy and vowed to “return him to his natural environment” which in this case meant the forest a few miles outside the city walls. Picture if you will a bunch of hippies leading a Unicorn that is jumping around pleased as punch to be out for a walk, this was not a very common sight in the city and it drew a bit of attention.

Our current Thief noticed the procession (as well as the Unicorn’s recognizable behavior) and immediately ditched his meeting with local lowlifes to tail it. Unfortunately the thugs he was meeting with recognized a valuable animal when they saw one and before they made it three blocks half the local underworld was following as well. Then to top it off the Paladin saw them as well and crit failed a bluff check to the local clergy he was hitting up for information, utterly convincing them that the hippies were making off with HIS celestial mount and they must help him free it with all haste.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 16:28:42 No.32463320 Report
Quoted By: >>32464301 >>32469279 >>32474213

>>32463295

So now there’s a bunch of hippies, leading Shoggy the Unicorn, followed by a ton of Thieves, a group of Paladins, two members of the group (who luckily thought ahead far enough to put out the call to the rest of us), and finally a bunch of the Psychotic Cultists we had been looking for who assumed the mob was forming up to deal with THEM. This proto-shitstorm continues its way across the city until it reaches the edge of the city where the Thieves make their move to steal the ‘Unicorn’, prompting the Paladins to move in on them in turn. Things were turning pretty chaotic, but the real kicker was when Shoggy panicked and turned into a Chain Devil, took control of his leash and ran like the coward he was.

The Cultists took this as a sign and laid into the Paladins, the Paladin took out all the stops and started smiting everything that moved, the Hippies and Thieves were panicking and randomly running away or attacking anything that came near them, and our group just stood there and watched. Eventually we waded end and helped the Paladins and sorted things out as best we could, the Thieves escaped, the Hippies were routed, and the Cultists were smited into the ground, and Shoggy was found by our Ranger hiding under a terrified farmer’s porch.

Shoggy was given a locator collar and a permanent baby-sitter rotation after this incident.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 17:06:02 No.32464010 Report
Quoted By: >>32464048 >>32474213

>>32463731

>That Guy

Our group fluctuated a bit over the years, three of us (counting our DM) were there from start to finish, but we had quite few other people join the group for various amounts of time. We were fairly lucky about getting good players so we had very few cases where things ended poorly. One of these cases centered around Shoggy.

One session we were joined by That Guy, who decided to play a CN warlock who he had used in previous groups, this character didn’t quite trigger an automatic edginess rejection from us but it was a near thing. New players were generally given a brief overview of the world and the public view of our exploits, but only told specific details when they had IC knowledge of it. We loved the surprises that came from new players encountering Shoggy and explaining how we got him both IC and OOC.

As the session started Shoggy was in his dog form, doing dog things, and we all went about business as usual. That Guy joined us in camp and signed on with our merry band, but declined to come into city with us to get information about evil cults on the grounds that “he was a wanted man”. We left him in camp with our Kobold Cleric (who wasn’t welcome in most towns) and Shoggy and went off to acquire ale, whores, and clues in that order.

The DM rolled Shoggy’s transformation that evening while everyone was out and we got ready for explaining Shoggy to the new guy, unfortunately Shoggy rolled Female Elf and things went downhill from there.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 17:07:29 No.32464048 Report
Quoted By: >>32464482 >>32474213

>>32464010

Shoggy had rolled humanoid several times before, (he didn’t talk or anything, just kept running around and barking) and as per usual we just threw a robe on him and let him keep running around. Also as per usual That Guy was told that “Our dog Shoggy just transforms every few hours, don’t mind him” and we waited for the typical questions about origins and powers and all that, except instead what we got was “I fuck the elf”.

Long story short, Shoggy emergency transformed into a porcupine and That Guy was incapacitated. He was eventually healed then given heartfelt and rather pointed lecture on morals by the Kobold Cleric. This lecture did not go over well and That Guy called us all “Dog-fucking Faggots” and left. IC we traded him to local law enforcement for info about the cult we were tracking. Shoggy was fine.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 17:21:08 No.32464301 Report
Quoted By: >>32464933

>>32463320

Wait did the transformations occur randomly or at-will?

At will transformation would be pretty overpowered, since could just toss him at any boss and watch him turn into something that could own it.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 17:30:38 No.32464482 Report
Quoted By: >>32464933

>>32464048

>fucks a dog that just turned into an elf

>calls you the dog-fucking faggots

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 17:54:07 No.32464933 Report
Quoted By: >>32472931 >>32474213

>>32464482

Yea, not really sure where he was going with that. We were just glad he left, none of the other That Guys I've met gave up after something as trifling as a crotch-full of porcupine quills and a lecture on morality.

>>32464301

>Shoggy's Mechanics

Our DM put a fair bit of time into setting up the rules for Shoggy since the party latched onto him so strongly. He worked hard to keep Shoggy from being completely overpowered as well as making it so the pooch didn't get gibbed when turned into a small critter.

>Shoggy would transform every 1d20+4 hours (re-rolled after each transformation) and the DM would roll against a pretty large table for what he turned into.

>If he was not currently dog he had a 1d3 chance to revert instead of changing into something else.

>If Shoggy was in mortal danger he got a free DM assisted transformation, this reset after his next normal transformation.

>Shoggy’s personality never changed, neither did his alignment, thinking skills, or ability to speak.

>Shoggy was a coward, his primary response to any perceived threat was to run away. It was incredibly rare for him to fight.

We were all informed that Shoggy's plot armor was limited and our group had to think up several techniques to make sure he didn't get into trouble. Considering our DM’s penchant for high mortality games it’s a mark of pride for us that we kept Shoggy alive through every adventure.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 18:24:44 No.32465589 Report
Quoted By: >>32465624 >>32474213

>>32465300

>Here's the last one I have pre-typed

>Best Intimidate Check Ever

Shoggy’s transformations were largely unmentioned during long traveling times or time skips if we made sure to accommodate him (though if we missed something the DM would roll to see if it bit us in the ass), however when we resumed control he’d always roll to see what Shoggy’s current form was.

Our group was hired to delay an oncoming army while reinforcements mustered. We were pretty on edge here, we had fucked up by letting things get this far and expected to lose a few of our characters in the upcoming fights. It was going to be a fairly tricky matter of hitting and running against a very large number of low level enemies backed up by some real nasty captains and led by a Young Adult Red Dragon.

We bought supplies, scouted the terrain, got information on our enemies command structure, recruited allies, picked out a secure forward base, and as the army approached we moved into position and got ready to play the attrition game. Then the DM rolled for what Shoggy currently was then checked his chart and the notes about our camp. Then he rolled again. And then he rolled again. Then he calmly informed us that Shoggy had just transformed into a Wyrm-level Green Dragon.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 18:26:20 No.32465624 Report
Quoted By: >>32465663 >>32474213

>>32465589

We immediately ditched our carefully laid plans, threw the fanciest clothing we had on our Kobold Cleric, formed up behind him and marched toward the enemy with Shoggy in tow. What followed was the most nerve-wracking series of diplomacy, bluff, intimidate, perception, and handle animal checks I’ve ever experienced.

We sweated bullets as the Kobold informed the army’s scouts, then its lieutenants, then its captains, then a Red Dragon that this land was the domain of Shoggzaroth the Silent, and any encroachment would be met with their immediate destruction. Shoggy nearly blew the whole thing multiple times: we stopped him from chasing horses that ran away from him, we just barely kept him from scratching his ears, and we passed off a bout of barking as evil draconic laughter. And the whole time we knew that every hour there was a chance that Shoggzaroth the Silent would turn into a parrot or something.

In the end we pulled it off. The Red Dragon took its forces and went to pillage a neighboring kingdom, but vowed to return in a few centuries and settle matters. We joined up with the rest of the army when it arrived and hit them in the back as they sieged our neighbors and were Big Damn Heroes. Shoggy was informed that he was a very good boy and ate steak every day (unless he was a cow or something) for months afterwards.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 18:28:33 No.32465663 Report
Quoted By: >>32469352

>>32465624

That's it for what I have pre-typed, I'm glad I got a chance to share it all. I'm going to be ditching work soon, I'll get back on this thread when I get home and see if I can't pull any other stories out of my notes.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 19:17:35 No.32466583 Report
Quoted By: >>32466873
Has Shoggy died yet?

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 19:32:51 No.32466873 Report

>>32466583

Nope! We kept him alive through 8 years of playing together. He outlived quite a few PCs (DM ran high mortality games) and retired with our final group of characters. He wound up chilling with our last druid and wizard at a blatant rip-off of Hogwarts.

Really we're not sure Shoggy could die from natural causes, he never seemed to get any older when he reverted to his dog form.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 19:28:01 No.32466780 Report
Quoted By: >>32467489
My party had a dog that was killed by the god of Light. We tried to fight it but it was just a party wipe.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 19:59:19 No.32467489 Report

>>32466780

We woulda done that for Shoggy. Not for anyone else in the party though.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 21:19:53 No.32469352 Report
Quoted By: >>32472606

>>32465663

I... I want more. The Epic Tales of Shoggy the Seldom Dog are amazing.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 23:31:05 No.32472606 Report
Quoted By: >>32472651 >>32474213

>>32469352

Just finished typing up another one, I'll see if I can't get one more together before I crash. (Please excuse any typos, haven't proofread this)

>Shoggy Makes a Friend

Eventually we acquired a permanent pet-sitter for Shoggy. Our group had reached the point where we had more cash than we could easily spend, and as amusing as Shoggy’s escapades were they stood a good chance of getting someone killed. We decided to hunt around and find ourselves a druid or ranger or general critter enthusiast to just ditch in camp with Shoggy whenever shit got rough. The problems we ran into were that A: Shoggy was not a normal pet by even fantasy standards and B:We were not strictly speaking ‘Good People’(at least not many of us), but damned if we were going to get Shoggy a caretaker who was anything BUT a good and loving person. We began a side quest to find a morally ambivalent and mentally flexible pet-sitter that wound up lasting several sessions instead of just an hour or two.

We hit up some Druids first, but were dumb enough to talk to their leaders first. They declared Shoggy to be an ‘Abomination Against Nature’ and banned all members of their order from having anything to do with us. If we hadn’t helped them previously we probably would have had a furry hit squad on our asses, as it was we wound up having to deal with periodic evangelizing young druids who wanted to convince us to put down Shoggy. This did not go over well with us, and rather permanently soured our relations with the main Druidic order in our world.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 23:32:36 No.32472651 Report
Quoted By: >>32472931 >>32474213

>>32472606

We didn’t have much better luck with any Rangers we could find. They weren’t exactly organized, so we were more or less just putting up fliers and hanging out in bars looking for one. All the ones we found initially either weren’t able to handle it when Shoggy became something particularly nasty (or their animal companions couldn’t), or they were obviously bastards, or they wouldn’t work with anyone that the druids had declared PNG. When we finally found a good one (a husband and wife pair actually) they kidnapped one of our more ‘Ethically Challenged’ members and tried to ‘Bring Him To Justice’.

We even tried fuckign Wizards and Alchemists, on the theory that an absent minded professor type might do the trick, but we banned any experimentation on Shoggy and most of them were lousy pet-sitters anyway. Our DM began to despair a little I think, we had wasted quite a lot of time on this, and made some serious enemies in the process (that just sort of happened when most of us talked to people, it wasn’t really Shoggy’s fault).

Eventually we just started working through all the major Class Guilds and Churches and eventually lucked out. We found a half-mad Elf Bard that had done SOMETHING to piss off one of the more artistic gods (I think it was Corellon, but I don’t remember for sure) and got hit with a god-level Geas to paint every type of creature in existence. That fucker LOVED Shoggy. He devoted his entire life to doing nothing but hanging out with our dog and would hang out with him all day long waiting to see what he’d turn into next. Shoggy though the attention was pretty nifty and stuck to him like glue.

In the end the Elf Bard wound up teach art at !Hogwarts and kept drawing Shoggy every day. I like to think he was happy, but really he was nuttier than squirrel shit so who could tell? Either way Shoggy was happy.

Anonymous Fri 30 May 2014 23:44:51 No.32472931 Report
Quoted By: >>32473725

>>32472651

you said earlier "It was incredibly rare for him to fight."

>>32464933

care to share some of the times he fought?

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 00:27:34 No.32473725 Report
Quoted By: >>32473990 >>32474213

>>32472931

>Shoggy Fights

Shoggy would fight in three situations: if he was cornered and couldn’t escape or transform, if he thought he was playing, if it was a treant and he was bigger than it.

Shoggy’s first fight for his life was just after we got him. We went to check out some ruins under a Kobold Warren (this is where we got our aforementioned cleric btw). Before we even got to see any kobolds we fucked up and everyone for hit with a loose earth cave-in trap. Shoggy turned into a dire badger and started tunneling away. Unfortunately he ran into a cage trap and wound up stuck and surrounded by kobolds. These kobolds quickly discovered that Shoggy was terrified of them, and made the horrible decision to poke him with their spears while he was stuck in the cage. Right as we caught up with him Darwin took the reigns and he Raged.

A pissed Dire Badger is not something you want to be near, and especially not underground. He killed something like twenty of the little bastards before they escaped, then he calmed down, pissed himself and ran back for camp as fast as he could. this more or less ended our attempts at being diplomatic with the kobolds, but luckily instilled a hefty amount of fear in them.

>continued

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 00:42:07 No.32473990 Report
Quoted By: >>32474136 >>32474213

>>32473725

More memorably he once destroyed a bunch of owlbears who we had set up camp near. He was a Hydra at the time and they were running around like squirrels. He caught a fair number of them and unintentionally killed them, it was good for us, but Shoggy was so SAD. All he knew was that they had stopped moving and he wanted us to FIX it. We felt pretty bad about the whole thing, Shoggy was just not cut out for warfare in general.

On another occasion he burned down half of a town when he turned into a Hell Hound, burned through his leash (this is why we switched to the magical chain) then left a trail of fire behind him as he ran to catch up with us. He was also scared of the fire he was starting, sort of like a dog being scared by his own farts. It would have been adorable if it wasn’t such a mess.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 00:50:35 No.32474136 Report
Quoted By: >>32474213

>>32473990

Finally Shoggy never learned the difference between a small looking Treant and a stick, and honestly we never bothered to teach him. Watching a Devastation Spider chewing the shit out of a Treant that had just been fucking with us is one of my best memories of Treants in general. We mostly didn’t play nice with druids and nature as a whole, feeding their stupid trees to Shoggy when he was Big was rather cathartic.

>I'm going to take a break from storytime for the night. I'll still stick around and read anyone else's though. Just getting sloppy at typing.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 01:04:44 No.32474432 Report
Quoted By: >>32474649 >>32475461

>>32474213

We really need a screencap.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 01:14:52 No.32474649 Report
Quoted By: >>32474771 >>32475461

>>32474432

Or we could throw it up on suptg, its better content than half the stuff there.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 01:21:39 No.32474771 Report
Quoted By: >>32475461 >>32477327

>>32474649

done Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 01:30:09 No.32474928 Report
Quoted By: >>32475461

>>32474213

Can someone do images of these, or keep it alive until I can come back on tomorrow? Good stuff.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 01:59:25 No.32475461 Report
Quoted By: >>32475494 >>32475668

>>32474432

>>32474649

>>32474771

>>32474928

Wow it's nice to have this much interest, let me grab a cup of tea and I'll type up one last story before I crash for the night.

Which do you guys want?

>Shoggy Saves the Dumbass Thief

>Shoggy Get's Arrested

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 02:00:52 No.32475494 Report
Quoted By: >>32476333

>>32475461

BOTH But the second if only one

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 02:11:18 No.32475668 Report
Quoted By: >>32476333

>>32475461

BOTH!

But realistically, probably dumbass thief.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 02:54:17 No.32476333 Report
Quoted By: >>32476387

>>32475494

>>32475668

>I'm going to take a stab at both since I'm still conscious.

>Saving the Dumbass Thief

As I’ve mentioned before, characters that weren’t welcome in town typically stayed in camp and watched Shoggy. We had a Thief at this point who managed to piss off just about everyone we met, he stole from the Nobles, he ratted on the Thieves Guild, he escaped from the Guard, conned the Clergy, and defaulted to the “burn the building down” method of escape in almost every situation. Sheer overwhelming luck kept the dumb bastard alive so far, but we knew how much you could trust that to continue so he had been banned from going near anything civilized ever again. Shoggy liked him, they spent a LOT of time together and he was good about throwing things for Shoggy.

Now I assume most of you have encountered random Paladins looking for people that ping as evil to bring to justice, well we had something worse. We had random Psions that went around looking for people who had guilty consciences, incapacitate them, and drag them off to their homebase for some vaguely defined justice (We were all betting on mindwipe and indoctrination). Well Mr. Dumbass didn’t set any defenses or alarms when we left him in camp, so his only protection while he slept was Shoggy, who, when these Psions homed in on the Thief's dreams, was currently a hedgehog. Mr. Dumbass was pacified, chucked over a horse, and hauled off to start a new life has Nameless Menial Laborer #35932 for the Order of the Psychic Douchebags.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 02:58:19 No.32476387 Report
Quoted By: >>32476854

>>32476333

When we got back to camp Shoggy was doing the best Lassie impression that a Dire Boar can manage, and we gathered that the Thief had fucked up again, and set out after Shoggy the Wonder Pig to save his ass. When we finally caught up with them they took offense at something or other (possibly the Blackguard we picked up as a meat shield or maybe just how bad a bard Tommy Troll-Fucker was) and ended the discussion with a mass Dominate on all of us, this was sufficiently traumatic to trigger Shoggy’s emergency transformation. Imagine their shock when the (relatively) harmless Dire Boar turned into an Illithid.

Shoggy didn’t actually do anything mind, he just sat there and completely ignored them trying to Dominate him while we recovered. We curb-stomped them and got our lackluster Thief back, who was suitably thankful for his rescue, but typically ignorant of what he did wrong. The Blackguard tried to get Shoggy to eat one of the Psion’s brains, he wasn’t interested.

Later on Shoggy was very sad when the Thief was forced into retirement after a botched theft attempt on the local Wizards College, no one else was.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 03:34:50 No.32476854 Report
Quoted By: >>32476904

>>32476387

>Arrested

It was a bit troublesome when Shoggy rolled something humanoid. You could explain a leashed dog/goat/gryphon/umber hulk, but it was rather hard to explain why you had a Elf collared in the middle of your camp chewing on a stick, especially if no one bothered to dress said Elf. Telling people that it’s “Just our weird dog” doesn’t work unless you have pretty high charisma.

Anyway, back in the days before we got the procedure completely worked out we left Shoggy in camp just outside town while we went in and smited some cultists and took their shinies. Unfortunately some children found Shoggy the Naked Half Orc rolling in the mud at camp and decided to strike a blow for freedom and unlocked his collar. Shoggy had a great time playing with the kids, but unfortunately decided to follow them home. Mom and Dad did not find Shoggy to be Funny or Fun, and called the guards. Shoggy didn’t do very well at convincing the guards he was harmless and was hauled to the local guardhouse while they established just what the fuck was wrong with this muddy naked half orc. His case was not strengthened when he reverted to Dog form during the night. In fact it only added the charge of Lycanthropy to the list, and a public burning was quickly organized before he could spread his foul curse.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 03:38:22 No.32476904 Report
Quoted By: >>32476963

>>32476854

We emerged from the cultist hideout to find the entire town in the main square getting ready for a good old public execution (though it was sort of dampened by the fact that the Evil Werewolf was looking and acting a lot like an excited dog). Before any of us managed to figure out what was going on they tied poor Shoggy to the pyre and threw on the torches. Shoggy immediately transformed into a Pheonix and ran like hell, leaving a trail of confusion and small fires behind him.

We managed to out-pace the yokels and caught up to Shoggy who was once again rolling in the mud (as opposed to burning down the forest), and hauled him as deep into the woods as we could before the mob showed up. We made up a story about a captured WereWolf/WerePheonix Half Orc who was part of an evil cult, which we corroborated with evidence from our raid on the secret lair under the town.

The hunt was called off, Shoggy reverted to a dog, we finished our business in the town and got the hell out of there before things got any weirder. Between this and the hell-hound incident we became convinced that we needed better camp security and restraints for Shoggy, in fact up to the point where he got his mad painter dog-sitter almost every session ended with us vowing to secure Shoggy better. After all, he was just too damn friendly (and dopey) to understand what he did wrong.

Anonymous Sat 31 May 2014 03:44:43 No.32476963 Report
Quoted By: >>32477268

>>32476904

That's it for tonight guys. I'll check the thread (or more likely the Archive of it) sometime tomorrow and wince at all my grammar fuckups and such.

Thanks for being an appreciative audience.

Sources

https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/32461889/

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/999/571/77f.jpg