Magically Lewd Sleepover : 6 to 10.html

From Bibliotheca Anonoma

Update #6 : April 8th[edit]


>I leave the bathroom with glasses in close-proximal tow

>I know its a bad idea to just tromp back into the living room directly with her following me.

>Raven and Blondie are already emotional landmines ready to go off, and Birthday can just up-and-start hating people right away anytime she wants.

>Fuck if i even knew what homely was thinking.

>So we make a small detour around the house and out into the living room from the kitchen side

>i'm Pretending she was some wandering companion who lost her villiage to a dragon attack and joined me on my quest

>We slip back into the living room all nonchalant like

>The video game is back on and nobody noticed us even walk in.

>Homely took my controller and my spot on the couch

>I curse under my breath various times

>Glasses pops back onto her spot on the couch and i'm left with nowhere to sit

>Of course i've been around women all my life

>So i do the usual thing and inform homely that it's alright, i didn't really need to play anymore since her and glasses haven't got a turn yet.

>It works like a charm

>Birthday, Blondie and Homely get guilted into feeling bad about taking my controller while i was in the bathroom.

>Blondie tries to offer me hers and make excuses about her fingers being tired

>I'm not having any of it, i milk it for all its worth and make a big show about it being alright and they should all continue playing together.

>Raven gives a snort, she's not falling for it, but she's still intently eyes-forward on the video game.

>Everyone else is appropriately guilt tripped though

>Totally gonna use these guilt points later to buy things at the vendor

>Buy some god damn emotional armor or something.

>Birthday girl does the right thing and offers glasses her controller

>Glasses denies gracefully with many "Oh you don't have tos" and various other trivial words

>She still gets the controller though

>I'm telling you, women throughout their entire lives have friends that treat them badly, throw them through emotional loop-de-loops and use every trick in the book to guilt, hurt or manipulate them.

>All while seeming completely nice about it

>[/spoiler]This is why they hate nice guys, they associate it with being flat out manipulated, no joke.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] If you're an actual jerk to them, they atleast know you're honest and not manipulating them[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] The best way to treat a woman is like you would treat one of your bros, don't pussyfoot around issues and just make em clear : YW All male anons[/spoiler]

>Moral of the story is that glasses just used my guilt point acquisition to gather some for herself and end up playing the game.

>I would have felt guilty as fuck if i ended up playing again too.

>I had plans for those points though, atleast i thought i did.

>I've still got nowhere to sit though

>It comes to my mind that i could probably plop down on one of the girls and use them as a comfy chair

>Obviously one of the girls on the couch, sitting on Raven on the floor would just not work out very well.


>Too small, she would put up with it but her legs would probably hurt after 5-10 minutes







>*Evil Laughter*

>Except there's really no way i can get revenge

>The blanket is gone, and she's playing vidya

>I walk over in front of her and block her vidya view

>I'm pumped up from my Alpha moment in the bathroom

>I put my hands on my hips (appropriate demanding posture) and say

>"Open up, you're my new chair missy"

>Obviously because i can't just sit on the controller, she has to open her arms and let me in.

>Curt response "No"


>I'm grasping my hand over my heart in an extremely dramatic shakespearean fashion

>[spoiler] in my mind of course[/spoiler]

>I'm really just standing there in that awkward way you stand places when you've been turned down for a date or something.

>I've been shot down, foiled, defeated

>Being alpha with Glasses is like an uphill unwinnable battle

>I do let out a dejected sigh and slump my shoulders

>Gotta look the part

>I then trudge over and plop myself down on the ground next to Raven

>She's sitting with her back to the armrest of the couch, so i sit down further into the couch

>Losers seat i guess

>Blondies legs are here though

>I don't even bother with them, i just lean back to the left of them and relax my head against the cushion.

>I get to watch the story progress without any involvement on my part

>I guess it's alright

>It's probably been an hour or two of this game though, people are getting worn out.

>JRPGs are just like that at parties, fun ,but gotta play em in segments

>Blondie's toes are adorable over to my right side though.

>She gives her feet little kicks every once in a while when she does a good heal or something.

>Even a couple times i watch as she wiggles each toe independently of one another

>Cute little feets mayn

>I'm not really a foot person, but cute feets are cute feets.

>To my luck, she decides to reposition herself after a little while

>I guess she was taking hints from glasses last night, because she drapes both her legs over my right side

>Smooth legs

>[spoiler] Alright well there was some light hair on them, but she was blonde so it wasn't noticeable[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] Yes women have hair on their legs, wow you should know this already no matter how lonely you are[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] no, shaving them constantly is a bitch of a thing to do, and most women only do it when they are in dress-up mode[/spoiler]

>These are awesome legs though

>Blonde haired girl legs are the best legs

>I can't really fondle her legs though

>I've got no cover, no bushes to hide behind

>Anything i do would alert the guards

>Most i can do is play with whatever is closest to my lap where i atleast have cover from the girls behind me

>This would be those cute feets i was talking about.

>I can't really do anything to them though

>Even though i raise my hands to touch them anyway.

>Hands and feet are a bad mixture you see

>The second you touch a cute girl's feet she's going to do one thing


>Blondie lets out a high pitched laugh

>I imagine this is the sound elves make if you ever catch them not being prim assholes to one another.

>Raven is onto me and eying me with suspicion

>I don't even look behind me, fuck the police

>I continue tickling her feet

>they're adorable, she's shifting them and flexing all the muscles in them trying to get away.

>I raise my hands and get the back of her ankles too

>She's giggling up a storm

>She starts kicking

>Oh no this was a bad ide....

>Right in the balls

><Screams Internally>

>Various other noises you can imagine

>I keep forgetting blondie is an assassin sent to kill me

>Why do i keep forgetting this

>No words or actual sounds were made by my mouth

>I just let go of her feet, wrap my arms around my stomach and fall over to the side

>Raven is laughing

>She knows

>Blondie is instantly silent

>She knows

>Birthday, Homely and Glasses think i'm just laughing on the ground or something and ignore it.

>I'm not laughing

>[spoiler] Once again one of the rare spoilers for only the female readers in here[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] Implying they exist[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] Getting hit in the balls is one of those things that just really really hurts, but it's not actually pain and its difficult to describe [/spoiler]

>[spoiler] See, those unlucky bastards are hooked up directly to the base of your spinal cord, this means there's one big pathway for that pain right to your head[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] It doesn't just hurt, everything on the way up along that pathway hurts too, your crotch, your stomach and even your lower chest sometimes[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]The closest comparison i've got is being hit in the kidney, but its just not something you've probably experienced[/spoiler]

>As is expected, i just keel over sideways and enjoy the floor for a little bit

>She didn't hit me that hard, but it didn't matter, i'd had enough of feet for the time being.

>I think Blondie is rubbing it in though, since she just sets her feet ontop of me like a footrest

>Probably thinking it serves me right for tickling her

>Back to staring at the walls of rooms again i guess

>I have a great view of the small space under the TV cabinet

>Cobwebs and dust bunnies

>Another untapped source of spiderbros to help me in my time of need.

>I'm not there for very long, im sure birthday/homely/glasses think im just relaxing sideways

>Raven has a smirk on though

>Eventually its decided that they've progressed far enough and the game is saved and swapped out

>Two player fighting game time.

>Blondie mentions food being a thing

>Its like noon-ish

>Birthday mentions some serious sandwich fixins in the kitchen

>Blondie offers to make some

>Birthday figures she might as well act the courteous host and help for once.

>Raven/Homely/Myself/Glasses Get to trade off in some 1v1s

>This means we pile on the couch again

>This doesn't work out as well as i want, as i end up in a corner with Homely deciding its her turn to sit on my lap

>You would think i could protest though right?


>If i let two girls sit on my lap and then not another, i'm playing favorites.

>I might not give a shit

>But homely's feelings would get hurt


>This giving a shit would get me in shit status with everyone

>I can't play favorites ):

>Well i can, i just can't be obvious about it

>Either way she ends up on my lap and she's facing off Vs Raven

>Loser gets the controller

>Zero boners though, and i'm still kinda sore so she's not feeling anything except my lap.

>She's still wearing her pajama pants and loose t-shirt though, so i'm kinda worried

>I'm trying to concentrate on the game, but she's wiggling around and sitting upright so i can't really focus on it at all

>Or even see the TV for that matter

>I just resign to my fate and turn my head to watch raven

>I've got an obvious "Help me" look on my face, but i make sure she's the only one who can see it.

>She notices

>She knows i don't really like homely (but she's really the only one who knows)

>She puts on an evil smirk

>Payback for what i said to blondie in the shower earlier smirk

>Or something else i've done, who knows

>Oh no, i see it coming a mile away

>Raven loses on purpose

>Hands the controller off to glasses

>I have to "Enjoy" another round with Homely sitting where she's sitting.

>I give raven the most silent pleading face i possibly can

>I just get a brimming wide evil-smile in return

>Glasses is picking her character

>Homely turns around to face me and raven

>She's sitting sideways on me now, with her feet on raven's lap and crotch still firmly planted on mine

>I can't make faces anymore

> ):

>I have to pretend nothing is wrong

>Even though really its just a girl sitting on my lap and i'm being overdramatic

>Or was i

>I have an even bigger problem

>Homely is still wearing her pajamas from last night

>This means she's wearing a loose t-shirt

>And no bra

>She makes this VERY obvious with her large breasts

>She was the most endowed female there D size maybe.

>Large enough to jiggle her entire chest every time she moved

>This doesn't help because her hands are in her lap and she's somehow playing the fighting game like a racing game.

>Tilting the controller left and right and shit

>Jiggling back and forth, each breast almost swaying individually

>No! Must... look... away

>I'm male so i can't

>Shameful boner

>I've failed you my hardening friend

>Well, homely notices

>She puts on a successful "Oh look at what i did" Smile.

>Its a mixture of a shit-eating grin and the look you get when you thoroughly trump someone in a fighting game

>Oh wait those are both shit-eating grins.

>Fuck you homely

>I can't do anything but feign a smile and continue watching the game.

>Also homely's tits

>I don't even like big tits (most the reason i didn't like homely), but not looking at big tits right in your face is impossible

>She catches me looking

>Shit eating grin continues

>This is the other half of the reason i don't like homely.

>She's still bouncing around and wagging her tits in my face though

>Boner at full hardness

>I'm ashamed on the inside

>I thought i had more control than this

>I thought i had a clear sense of justice

>Seeing myself live long enough to become the villain

>Whatever it is, my crime fighting days are over and homely has now confirmed she's attractive enough to get me hard.

>[spoiler]Ill restate what i keep saying in the thread, She's not ugly, but she's not really attractive to me, nor does she have a personality i like.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] Tad overweight bar-skank with huge knockers, any of yall would fall for it.[/spoiler]

>Luckily, this means she's distracted as fuck

>Glasses kicks her ass up and down three ways from sunday

>Homely loses hard and passes her controller to me.

>I've got no choice but to put my hands out over her lap and hold the controller

>I know i'm going to regret this

>I instantly regret this

>Homely takes both her hands and lightly places them on my wrists

>Some kind of sick hand-holding without my permission

>I didn't ask for this

>Its me Vs Glasses

>This is the match up of the century

>At first i'm getting my ass kicked, but then i retaliate and leave her character damn close to death.

>I've got this

>Homely sits up straight

>This puts full pressure right on my crotch

>Shoves her boobs right in my face

>I die

>Why don't these girls just leave me alone and let me play video games

>I haven't been able to win once in anything we play

>I can't handle this

>I drop the controller back into Homely's lap

>I say "I'm going to go check on lunch"

>Homely puts on a sad face, but my excuse seems to have worked and she wiggles to the side so i can get up

>She still puppy dog-eyes me and leans forward though

>Loose shirt


>I don't look

>I do look

>I pretend to not look while looking

>I don't look while pretending to not look


>Big, floppy breasts

>God damnit male mind

>Fuck you

>I'm up and trying to leave though

>Just going to think about other people naked

>Raven gets up too at the same time planning to follow me

>She brushes me as she stands

>Feels me being hard

>Her eyes don't go wide, she doesn't freeze, she doesn't get a scowl on her face

>Well except the scowl part

>Her eyes are cold, like a wolf before it rips the throat out of the prey its been stalking

>I give her three silent faces in a row




>I think these all come out as the above faces plus a mixture of the shameful boner face

>I hope she understands.

>She's still scowling though

>She tells me to make sure Blondie wasn't putting mustard on her sandwich

>She's not going to follow me anymore though

>She just sits down on the armrest of the couch, folds her arms crossed and stares at the TV.

>I slink away to the kitchen ashamed of myself

>I Enter the kitchen

>Blondie has a knife cutting the tomatoes

>I Exit the kitchen

>They didn't have mustard out though so i don't bother saying anything

>I just go and sit down in the dining room

>Clasp my hands together on my lap and stared off at the wall again

>In retrospect this was weird, but in my mind i was just going to quietly wait for food to happen.

>Just going to stare at this wall until the shame goes away

>Its not too long, luckily Blondie calls out in her singsong voice across the household that sammy-witches are ready.

>I arrive in the kitchen first, pretending i just got up and came over

>Some pastrami, swiss mayo/lettuce/tomato contraptions of flavor going on in here.

>Birthday and Blondie start the serving process

>Birthday gets out drinks and cups (has a 2liter of coke we never opened before)

>Blondie plops a big sandwich down on my plate and gives me a confectioner's maid smile.

>I don't know what that smile is called, but it involves your entire body

>She does a half curtsey, tad bit of knee bend, smile from ear to ear and her eyes are shining.

>You'll only see this smile when women have made food for you to eat and want you to enjoy yourself.

>Its fucking adorable

>My heart melts a little

>But its just a fucking sandwich

>Well actually the bread is toasted and i guess the tomato slices are done pretty well

>*sigh* i guess ill praise her for it when we sit down to eat

>We all end up in the living room though

>We all pick various places on the floor to sit and eat food

>Smalltalk of course

>We discuss what we should do next

>Various bickering about boys and girls at our school

>Raven doesn't seem to want to sit next to me and chat like we usually do

>I swear to god woman

>I end up with birthday and homely on either side of me

>they really aren't talking to me, its more like talking across me

>I just ignore them and eat my sandwich

>About halfway through my sandwich i appropriately give praise to blondie and comment on how the tomatoes are perfect and the sandwich is delicious

>She doesn't know i saw her cutting them

>One million bonus points

>Her face lights up like fireworks.

>The general sentiment around the room is that the sandiwches are delicious and blondie/birthday get plenty of praise

>Blondie still has her face lit up and looking at me though

>I grab the last half of the sandwich with my left hand and start to bring it up to my mouth while staring at her

>I plan to make lip smacking sounds and get bonus points

>Blondie loses the smile

>My hand doesn't seem to be able to get to my mouth

>Homely has wrapped her arm around my left arm and is holding it like we're lovers or something

>She's not breaking eye contact with birthday though, and they're still discussing absolutely nothing of importance

>A.... alright

>Its no big deal i guess

> i swap the sandwich to my right hand and go up for another bite

>This hand won't move either

>Birthday has her arm wrapped around that one, matching homely

>I just want to eat my sandwich ):

>I can't do anything so i just lower my hand and drop it back to the plate.

>Stare at it sadly

>Sandwich arc over before it even began

>Both the girls don't even notice, they're still discussing clothes and other girly things like i'm not even there

>Blondie knows what's happening and is staring with a defeated sad look on her face at me.

>Raven isn't glaring daggers for once

>She's Glaring actual full longswords

>Foot long hilts and everything

>Why is this my fault

>Even usual non-caring glasses is looking a little peeved

>I guess her alliances lie elsewhere

>I can see her brain whirring in motion to try to stop this though

>Maybe she'll save me from this soul crushing emptiness inside

>[spoiler]that only my sandwich can fill[/spoiler]

>Both the girls still have one hand free though, so they're just eating as if nothing is happening.

>I know both of them can see the other girls staring.

>They pretend they don't see anything

>The one thing they aren't hiding well are the eyes

>I look left and i look right and i can see both of them are projecting lasers at one another.

>The facial movements are animated, diverse, and match the conversation

>But the eyes are hard and deadly.

>Homely grips my arm harder

>Birthday grips my arm harder

>Uh oh

>This is like a catfight but the cats are separated by a volleyball net and are playing volleyball with a huge inflatable beach ball.

>And all the beach ball is trying to do is not get popped by the cats claws

>That's probably what playing girl's volleyball is like anyway.

>I'm not escaping though

>Birthday turns her entire body towards me, and presses into my shoulder

>This has the effect of pressing my arm into the crease of her chest between breasts.

>I guess she managed to get her bra hook back together without anyone noticing, because i feel two layers of fabric between us.

>Homely matches it, but the difference is that she doesn't have a bra on

>Much softer

>Much more squish

>I'm really not at liberty to move now

>I can't imagine i have anything on my face but a pleading look at the other three girls.

>Birthday and homely are still keeping up the conversation though

>Glasses brings her plan to fruition

>"Alright that was delicious, lets clean up our plates"

>Homely and Birthday change from random conversation, to just staring at glasses

>"We're not done eating yet" they literally say in unison.

>Not exactly, one of them used different structure, but it was terrifying nothenless

>Then they just go back to the conversation they were having

>They haven't touched their food in like three minutes.

>My sandwich is just sitting there


>Glasses looks defeated

>A rare look for her, trust me

>Birthday and homely aren't even talking infront of me

>They've put their chins on my shoulders and are talking through me

>Like whispering the conversation into one of my ears and its going out the other to the opposite side.

>I'm just trying to pretend this isn't happening and save face with all of it going on

>Actually i'm now staring down at my cup of coke

>It looks delicious

>I'm really thirsty, just a sip please

>It's just sitting there bubbling

>Each popping bubble screaming my name

>Birthday scootches closer

>The angle means she has full control of my arm and hand

>My hand is now resting gently on her crotch

>She takes this advantage to press my hand into her

>I feel an imperceptible amount of dampness

>Probably my fault from earlier.

>She presses my hand into her harder

>Definitely my fault from earlier

>While i'm limply feeling the searing hot valley between birthday's thighs

>[spoiler]Which is quite nice actually[/spoiler]

>Homely scoots up as well

>Oh no

>The other girls are just frozen staring

>why won't they do anything

>Homely scoots one of her legs right behind me and straight along my backside

>Her knee is actually touching birthday's knee

>My arm is close to where she wants it

>She's got an embarrassed but shameless look on her face

>She swings her other knee around infront of me

>I watch in slow-motion exactly where my eyes have been this entire time.




>as that delicious cup of soda spills


>All over my sandwich


>The girls let go of me in a hurry

>Homely makes a couple "I'm Sorry"s, while she gets up and hurries to the kitchen for paper towels

>Birthday goes with her

>I scoot backwards to not get soda all over my pants

>Still got a generous amount on one of my knees, but its not too bad

>I dont stop scooting until i'm a relatively safe distance away

>I cross my arms so that nobody can take them away from me

>lie down and look at the ceiling again

>Someone gets up across the room and walks over to me

>Its raven

>She stands above my head staring down at me with vehemence in her eyes

>Its alright though because i can see up her top since its loose at the bottom

>Blondie shows up a second later to my other side

>I can see up her shirt too, but she's got a bra on.

>They don't seem to be in a friendly mood though

>I'm pretty sure they're going to kick me

>Daggers, Longswords and some kind of Halberds being glared down at me

>I figure its time to say something

>"You know it wasn't my fault"


>The previously mentioned weapons being fired at me from their eyes have now caught on fire.

>They don't even say anything, they just stomp off

>Lots of banging in the kitchen, i guess they're trying to find towels or something.

>Someone gets up across the room

>Its glasses of course, she shows up in the same place blondie was standing.

>Her shirt is tucked in though

>I softly say "Why didn't you save me?" a real sound of pleading in my voice.

>She just shakes her head and walks away.

>Birthday and homely come back and start cleaning up the mess

>I guess everyone just left plates and cups everywhere and left

>I get up and help them clean up the coke

>[spoiler] putting a towel over a drink that soaks into the carpet and punching it with your fists works wonders [/spoiler]

>[spoiler] Plus it looks manly as fuck, try it sometime[/spoiler]

>I get to watch my soggy sandwich get scooped up and whisked off to the kitchen.

> ):

>I pick up my empty cup and follow them

>They've left the kitchen clean, so they toss the scraps in the trash and put the cups in the sink and leave.

>I watch first hand as my soggy love falls into the trashcan and splats against the side before sadly sliding down.

>I probably look like i've just lost a pet or something

>The girls leave and i'm just standing there

>Not really much coke left, so i get maybe a fifth of a cup

> fuck this shit

> i'm now in major sandwich depression

> i walk over to the alcohol cabinet and pull out a bottle of rum and pour myself half shot right into the coke..

>Close it up, put the bottle away and just chug the entire cup

>Think about my sandwich the entire time ):

Alright, Wednesday 8:00 PM it is. (PST)

Update #7 : April 9th[edit]


>When we left off, i had turned to alcoholism to make myself feel better after losing a dear comrade.

>Which is pretty much a hyped up piece of melodramatic shit

>Firstly i had only taken like half a shot of rum in some coke, which is nothing.

>Literally a pittance, made worse by the fact that it was in all likelihood very cheap rum.

>Next up, i was only doing it because i felt like i was in that kind of mood where i should be a character that goes to the liquor cabinet and takes a drink to "Get over it"

>My experience with alcohol up to that point was mostly in media, so i had no fucking clue what i was really doing anyway.

>If you haven't called it yet, i was being a gigantic raging emotional faggot over there alone in the kitchen.

>But whatever, that's what i felt like at the time

>I was getting picked on nearly constantly and used like a toy the entire time

>I'm not going to pretend i didn't enjoy it and throw up a "who gives a fuck" attitude all the time. But that entire attitude was biting me in the ass.

>Whenever i made a move, or didn't make a move. Everyone else would just blame me for making or not making that move.

>There was no escape, i was at fault for everything and the longer i tried to not make myself an enemy of one girl, the more i made myself an enemy of the rest.

>Really i was just failing at the politics of the situation

>Whatever i was doing, there was the foreboding sense that i would end up screwing this all up and end up without any of them as friends at the end.

>I was really in the stages of regret at this point, questions flashing across my mind and tearing me up.

>"Was all of this worth losing my best friend?"

>"Is this worth losing three other good friends too?"

>This sounds dramatic, but i was pretty bummed out over the entire morning

>In my head i was going over the bad parts and ignoring the good

>In that stupid way everyone manages to do when they get just the tiniest bit sad

>Telling myself i had ruined it all and fucked up everything

>See why i felt like i needed to "Drink" to make it all better?

>Either way i was i was standing in the kitchen glaring angrily at the lack of more soda in my cup.

>Might as well go figure out where everyone went

>I just slam the cup down on the kitchen counter. It's pretty loud so i'm sure atleast everyone in the living room heard me.

>I don't think i stomped out, but my footsteps were heavy enough to be easily audible.

>I get to the living room

>Homely and Birthday are the only two in the living room and are playing competitive vidya

>They seemed intently focused on winning

>Working out the anger between one another i guess

>I leave them alone, i really want nothing to do with either of them at the moment

>Still in brooding mode, i meander off to the other side of the house where i imagine the other girls went off to.

>I find Birthday's room with the door closed

>*sigh* its going to be locked isn't it

>I try the handle loudly

>Its locked

>there's only silence inside, but i hear the faint sound of a TV humming through the wall so they're probably watching something with the sound turned off.

>[spoiler]man i miss being able to hear televisions through walls, stupid LCD technology[/spoiler]

>I've got no interest in going back to the troublesome two in the living room

>But i'm not welcome here it seems

>I don't even say a word, i just stomp my feet a couple times, and then step lighter and lighter until it sounds like i walked away.

>I then sit myself down silently against the wall beside the door and start listening.

>I'm silent, they're silent.

>I just drift off into thought about how badly of a fuck up i am

>In terms of helping me get over my mood, this is adding negative percentages.

>I'm sitting somewhere around -300% when i finally hear talking from inside the room.

>The door (unlike her parents bedroom) isn't a thick hardwood slab of wood, so i can hear through it more or less fine.

>Its blondie talking

>"Whoever it was is gone now..."

>There's an obvious melancholy tone in her voice

>"I just can't believe he would do something like that" - Blondie

>"Yeah, he was my favorite too" - Raven

>There's nothing but anger in her voice

>In my head i've already decided and confirmed they're talking about me

>Mood at -400% , each word is hitting where it hurts.

>"Man i sure hope she forgives him, she was in tears wasn't she?" -Blondie

>"Yeah i don't know what happened there" - Raven

>Oh lord wait who was in tears

>Glasses isn't in the room?

>Glasses is crying?

>Fucking hell that means she's off somewhere else in the house that i didn't look


>Guess she's not as carefree as i imagined her being

>Probably i fucked things up with her just as much because i was her first.

>I'm feeling like a shitstain on the carpet right then, i don't even move, i just keep staring forward and listening.

>There's a bit more talk about something i can't really understand.

>Its like whispering or mumbling, i guess i can't really hear the entire conversation through the door.

>However various sentences come out louder than the others

>"Really if this continues for much longer i'm not sure what i'm going to do, i can't take this" -Raven

>More whispering

>"I'm going to cry" - Blondie

>"Whatever he thinks is left, is gone between us" - Raven

>Whatever, im done listening

>I'm still at the door against the wall but i just stop

>My ears don't really turn off, but there's just this loud ringing that's started up inside my head

>I just can't hear anything over it

>I'm at -700% now, back to dying on the inside, internal turmoil shredding whatever confidence i had that i could get this situation to fix itself.

>Welp, better start figuring out ways to kill myself

>I don't actually have a timer for how long i was sitting there feeling sorry for myself

>I was going over how many different ways i could apologize, or just leave and never come back, or just beg and plead until i was back in someone's good graces.

>Eventually the ringing stops and i hear various scuffling noises inside

>The door opens

>Whoever it is, they were planning on moving to the living room or something, but just froze when they found me there

>I wasn't looking at them, just staring at the floor infront of my crossed legs.

>I probably looked like a sad sorry mess, but that's how i felt so i wasn't trying to hide it.

>"How long were you sitting here"

>Its raven, no emotion at all in her voice

>I'm fucked now aint i

>"The entire time" is the response my brain decides to stupidly give them

>I guess blondie is on the bed and hasn't seen me yet, because she lets out a gasp when she hears my voice.

>Raven takes two very very very loud stomping footsteps towards me and reaches around my front and grabs a handful of my shirt collar

>She's not nearly strong enough to actually lift me up like that, but it doesn't matter

>I stumble to my feet on my own, completely avoiding eye contact.

>I'm just staring down at my and Raven's feet, nothing else.

>I'm ready for whatever they want to dole out to me

>I guess it might make them feel better, and thats all i want out of the situation.

>Raven shoves me inside of the room

>I don't even resist

>The door slams behind me

>She's got my collar again, and i'm up against the door

>I'm trying to avoid eye contact still, but she shakes me until i look up at her

>Her eyes have something in them i can't read anymore, or maybe i'm just too busy feeling sorry for myself to try.

>She shoves her face closer to mine and gives me some kind of glare

>i don't care what it was, it was just a glare

>I can smell her breath


>My eyes dart around the room for the first time

>Its rather dark in here compared to the hallway outside

>The blinds are all closed

>The Television is on, but is paused at the main screen of some DVD and isn't playing. Its giving the entire room a blueish glow.

>There's a bottle and three small glasses with ice and liquor in them on the floor.


>I look at the bed

>Blondie and Glasses are staring at me apprehensively, each one has an earbud in one ear and they're listening to something on a laptop.

>They don't seem to be paying attention to whatever is on the screen, even though i can see the reflections of some kind of show in each of their eyes and the dancing shadows across the wall behind them.

>At first my mind is reeling, i wonder if i was misunderstanding who they were talking about and it was just a show or something.

>I get brought back to my not-mind by raven pulling me forward by the scruff of my shirt, and then slamming me backwards again.

>"Why were you listening outside?" - There's only anger in this question

>I mumble/stutter a half bullshit response

>It's really not believable though, punctuated by being slammed against the door again.

>My head is kinda hitting the door every time, it hurts.

>I'm not defending myself because i feel like i deserve it.

>I've dug my grave and now i'm going to lie in it.

>She can smell my breath now that i responded

>Her face changes from emotionless to suddenly understanding that i had been drinking too.

>She's gone from perfectly reasonable angry Raven, to batshit angry Raven

>"Why were you drinking..." - Her voice isn't even angry anymore

>There's actually nothing in her voice, its an empty question

>I'm not going to just take that one

>"Why the fuck were you all drinki..."

>I get slammed against the door again and can't even finish

>That one actually really really hurt, she's not scuffing me up anymore she's actually trying to hurt me.

>I'm still mentally kicking myself and telling myself i deserve it though

>I'm pretty much a pathetic human being, fuck myself for screwing this all up

>Not an ounce of resistance in my body against this assault

>Her next words were screamed in a flurry, i don't even think she thought about them before she said them.

>"WE'RE not the problem here, YOU are"

>There is only pain in those words

>I mentally scrunch up into a smaller ball

>I would describe what i was feeling, but i was forcing myself not to feel anything.

>As if the act of feeling nothing at all over all of this was actually more painful than feeling something.

>I don't know how that works, don't ask me, but it happens sometimes.

>I've got a thousand apologies lined up in my head that i wrote outside

>I bring my eyes up from the floor and look raven in the face

>I start reciting one

>"I... i know i've fucked everything up"

>The entire room is silent, they seem to be weighing on whatever i'm going to say next.

>Raven has me pinned back against the door still

>Her eyes are shining

>Her face is genuinely contorted into rage.

>I try to choose my next words carefully

>"I tried not to play favorites and make an..."

>I'm interrupted by Raven's hand

>To the side of my face



>That's not raven's voice

>It can't be

>it's like the battlecry of a harpy you've accidentally stumbled across a nest of.

>after you killed her husband

>and crushed all of her eggs

>and she hit me

>I don't even need to explain what's wrong with that

>I already told you whats wrong with that

>But i can't take any time and contemplate which alien has invaded raven's body and taken her over because i'm getting screamed at still



>She enunciated favorites like its some kind of huge complicated word, but it gets the point across like icy hot blasts


>I'm really not able to pay attention to anything else she's screaming because at this point she's hit me full palm on the side of my head again

>[spoiler]I don't know how many of you anons have been hit by women but its really not like it hurts or anything[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]It does, but as a male you're used to getting hit by your bros, so your pain threshold is rather high[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]That doesn't mean that getting hit in the face is painless though.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]Especially not when the female in question puts all her strength (and trust me they get like 10x stronger when they're emotional) into beating your face in.[/spoiler]

>My ears were ringing, the side of my face was white hot like it had just been pressed against a heated frying pan.

>The pain wasn't what was on my mind though

>The words "She's not hitting me" just repeated over and over in my head

>She can't be, she wouldn't ever, this can't be her.

>I took hit after hit

>All i could hear were the cushioning SMACK of each contact.

>The ringing in my ears followed every one.

>I take about six hits in total and it stops

>I've moved halfway across the room during this entire thing and i'm now actually scrunched up in the corner between the cabinet the TV is sitting on and the wall beside the door.

>I'm just staring lifelessly down at the floor and leaning against the cabinet

>I'm dimly aware of six feet, so i assume Blondie and Glasses got up and stopped her

>I'm not really sure what i feel about that development, i still feel like i deserved every single hit.

>I guess i was going through stockholm syndrome of sorts, emphasizing with my abuser.

>My ears are still ringing, but its lessening enough to hear the angry words being flung around.

>I just dumbly stare as raven's feet pull back from the group and stomp away

>I can't really hear the stomps, but i can feel the vibrations through the floor.

>I'm mentally screaming for someone to stop her, but i don't say a word.

>Whatever just went down, we're definitely not best friends anymore

>Or friends even

>Next thing i see is Glasses' face in front of my own

>She's crying for real this time

>Its running down her cheeks and down the corners of her mouth, which is scrunched up into a worried purse.

>She's places her hand on my cheek and seems to be checking for damage

>Her hand is freezing compared to the solar-flare of heat emanating off my face

>i guess i don't have any permanent damage because i'm hoisted to my feet a second later

>Kinda shuffled over to the bed and i fall on it face first

>I'm not even fully on the bed but i don't give a shit

>Im not in pain though, or whatever pain i'm in is being droned out by the suffering soul-crushing feeling of my heart actually being ripped from my chest.

>Gravity does give a shit about me not being on the bed though, and quickly i find myself sliding to the floor again.

>I end up sitting at the base of the bed and looking up at glasses and blondie

>One thought on my mind


>I manage to eek some words out "Go make sure she doesn't do anything..."

>I pause, i don't want to say it but its on my mind so i'm sure its on theirs too


>Blondie is off to the living room rather quickly

>I hear frantic yelling in the distance about how Raven and I just had a fight and they need to find raven.

>I smile a little bit when she says its "thier fault"

>for fucking once someone understands

>for fucking once

>Glasses doesn't say a word, she just silently sits beside me at the base of the bed

>I feel her wrap her arm around me, but i'm numb and silent

>Its still comforting

>I rest my head on her shoulder and just continue staring into the distance and listening to the sounds of the house being overturned in search for raven.

>This goes on for a while

>Yells of "Raven where are you?"

>and "Come out and talk please!"

>echo through the house.

>I'm staring at one of the cups of liquor on the ground that was tipped over in the scuffle.

>There's ice cubes and a puddle, just sadly melting

>Neither of us give enough of a shit to clean it up.

>I do get around to asking how many raven had though.

>"We told her to stop" was the response i get from glasses

>That kind of response that makes you worried because of how much seemingly innocuous regret is inlaid into it.

>"How many" I growl

>I'm now realizing that the bottle of whiskey is actually half empty.

>"We had one, each, she had...."


>What the actual fuck

>These aren't even shots these are actual cups.

> what the fuck was she thinking.

>How could she even be that fucking stupid

>My mind isn't even feeling sorry for myself anymore

>Three fucking cups jesus christ

>even i would be out like a fucking light with that much, and she's smaller than everyone here.

>I'm furiously angry at Blondie and Glasses

>How fucking retarded could they be to be sitting on the bed letting raven fucking drown three fucking cups.

>How are they that oblivious to her feeling like shit

>Not to mention we now have no clue where she is.

>So she's hiding somewhere, with enough whiskey in her stomach to get severe alcohol poisoning or worse, who knows how much else in her blood stream, and to top it off we have no clue where she is.

>AND There's still yelling in the house so nobody has found her yet.

>I'm not even going to stand for this shit

>I rattle off so many harsh names and insults at glasses that it's like she's hit with a god damn shockwave.

>I'm up and out the door as i tell her plainly and loudly that she's an absolute shit friend.

>I end up in the living room where blondie and birthday are going over where they haven't looked

>I announce to them loudly that blondie is fucking retarded and raven has had three full cups of whiskey

>Birthday is speechless

>She's got the look of a deer stuck in headlights

>Blondie takes my words like a champion though

>Even though her face has "Sorry" all over it

>I guess she knows she really fucked up

>I don't wait for her decision or reaction past that though

>I'm out of the room and roaming the house trying to decide where the fuck raven has gone

>Glasses seems to be looking too, nobody can find her

>She didn't leave the house because nobody heard any doors slam, but just in-case homely pops out front and goes running around the block to try to find her.

>I admire the effort, but i know she's gotta be in the house somewhere

>I just can't think

>I can't fucking think

>I try to piece together where in the house nobody would have looked

>Its been 5 frantic minutes, i can't even begin to imagine how drunk she is and still digesting more.

>I ask blondie if she checked the closet, she shys her eyes downwards and says yes.

>I ask glasses if she checked the bathrooms, also a yes

>I'm trying to narrow it down where she could have run to

>The entire time i can't get my mind off the fact that she had actually hit me

>Out of all the things she could be feeling right now its ashamed of herself

> I know her too well for her to really be angry, she's hiding because she's afraid of what she's done and ashamed.


>I know exactly where she is

>I know its not the master bedroom because it's got a baseboard, and not birthday's

>Guest bedroom

>I rush over to that part of the house

>I barge in the door announcing what a fucking idiot she is

>There's just big boxes under the bed

>Oh fuck

>She can't be under there

>I jump on the bed and crawl across

>There's no sounds, just the squeaking of the bedsprings

>I look down on the other side


>No no no where the hell is she

>I fall back onto the bed and make the entire thing creak again

>I think i hear a squeak that isn't the bedsprings but i'm not sure if i imagined it or not

>Wait a fucking second

>What i just saw plays over in my memory again

>I check over the side again

>One of the boxes has the corner actually sticking out an inch away from the bottom of the bedframe

>Sherlock holmes moment here

>No way anyone would purposely have boxes that didn't fit under the bed

>I get out and actually break part of the box ripping it out from under the bedframe

>I don't give a fuck

>Guess whose leg i find?

>The biggest idiot in the house that's who

>fucking pulled the boxes back behind her to hide

>If she had stayed down there on her back under the bed

>she would have passed out and thrown up.

>and fucking choked to death on her own vomit or something

>even if she hadn't thrown up our schools talked to us all the time about alcohol poisoning

>Hypothermia, Heart palpitations, Shallow and eventually completely ceased breathing.

>for a fucking 80-90 pound girl who drank as much as she did, there is no doubt in my mind even to this day.

>she would have actually fucking died, if i hadn't been able to find her

>This is not fucking cool at all in my book

>The sheer level of stupidity and selfishness that this girl had just caused was mind boggling

>The entire last half hour was so unlike her in every way possible that i couldn't even be sure it actually happened.

>Not to mention if i hadn't found her i would have blamed my god damn self

>The level of actual selfishness was off the charts here

>I wasn't even capable of speech that could describe how fucking atrocious this all was in my head

>I don't even give her a chance to react

>I'm not even thinking through my actions anymore, it's just all instinct.

>In three seconds she's sprawled out on the floor blinking at the brightness of the light

>She's crying

>Fuck if i care

>In Seven seconds i have her on her feet

>In Ten seconds I'm hauling her out the door, one of her arms over my shoulder

>She's awful on her feet, showing all signs of a person who's had way, way, way way too much to drink.

>Fuck if i care

>Fifteen seconds i've yelled throughout the house that i've found her

>Scampering feet and ten seconds later i'm in the small bathroom with raven, and glasses is helping me hold her up and drag her.

>I drag her forcibly over to the bathtub and shove her down so she's kneeling on the floor and her head is over it

>She's crying and saying that i'm hurting her

>Fuck if i care.

>I'm not even sure its me controlling my own body at this point

>"Make yourself puke"

>She's crying and shaking her head

>"I don't wa..."

>I interrupt her bullshit excuse with a fucking lion's roar of "NOW"

>She's still not having it and shaking her head fervently from side to side.

>Its actually flinging her tears and splattering me with them

>I think actually most of it might be slobber too, she's an awful sniveling mess

>Alright have it your fucking way

>I just grab her head, pull it back and jam my actual fingers down her throat

>This is accompanied by all the sounds you would associate with foreign objects violently being thrust into your mouth



>Muffled Screams

>I know every anon here has had a finger or two in their throat by their own volition once or twice.

>Now imagine trying to do that if the mouth and human attached to the mouth is extremely against this idea.

>Her throat was contracting

>Her tongue was violently trying to force me out

>She was clamping down her teeth as hard as she could

>My hand was actually covered in bite marks and i couldn't be sure the bitch had actually broken a bone or two or not

>But Between glasses yanking back on her hair and me forcing my hand into her mouth and prying it open with my other hand, i do manage to get two fingers deep enough to trigger the gag reflex

>This doesn't work in any kind of polite manner either

>Vomit went pretty much everywhere

>All over my arm

>All over my shirt

>All over Raven's shirt

>All over Glasses shirt

>All over the bathtub

>The only things that didn't get covered in chunks of sandwiches, coke and whiskey was pretty much her hair because Glasses had a firm grip on that.

>I just let go of her and leave her to limply retch into the bathtub

>I rip off my shirt, use what was clean on it to wipe my arm and hand off as well as i could, and just crumple it up and toss it into the bathtub.

>I then took a firm grip on Raven's hair right above where glasses was holding it

>I'm sure i was squeezing hard and pulling on the roots, it probably hurt her, but i was no longer in a gentle mood

>I mention for glasses to get her shirt off as well, which comes off at about the same speed as mine and is tossed into the tub.

>She's wearing a bra, i know you care but i didn't at the moment.

>Raven is done retching and is just limply lying across the bathtub ledge

>We just scoop her upwards and her shirt comes off too

>I just use it to roughly wipe her face and chin down and toss it as well

>She's still sobbing

>Too fucking bad

>I grab a washcloth off the towel rack, wet it with hot water and just hand it to glasses

>I get a chance at this point to see the three women outside the door staring in with worried looks on their faces.

>I don't even look at them directly, i just stand by the sink.

>I watch in the mirror as Glasses lovingly cleans up Raven like you would a small child

>The washcloth goes over the sobbing girl's face

>wipes away her tears

>the spittle from the sides of her mouth

>the vomit from her chin and upper chest

>the thought came to my head that glasses would make a great mother someday.

>This is quickly discarded as impossible.

>She's clean enough

>I get the washcloth back and just leave it in the sink

>I kneel down, wrap my arms around raven's bare waist and hoist her up

>She doesn't really go anywhere just crumples

>Oh wow her legs don't fucking work anymore

>Im so fucking done with this girl

>I just kneel down and grab one of her thighs and wrap my arm around her underarm and back

>Then i hoist it all upwards

>This results in the lazyiest fucking possible way of picking up a girl

>But its the easiest if you're in a small space and have zero leverage on a limp body

>i've got one leg fully over my shoulder, the other just hanging loose

>Then her entire upper body is hanging off to the other side of me

>She's kinda complaining

>No fucks given

>I just turn sideways and walk her out of there and back to the guest room

>Glasses is step in step with me though, god damn miracle woman she is.

>Before i'm even to the bed, Glasses has rolled back the covers.

>Raven goes in

>We prop her up with pillows on her side ( i guess one of us had seen it in a movie or something)

>Wrap her up so she can't move in blankets

>Problem fucking solved

>Let her sleep the rest of whatever is in her system off

>She's still kinda awake though

>I probably have to make sure she atleast goes to sleep

>I lie back on the bed and turn over to look at her

>she's half awake

>[spoiler] when you get someone really drunk into a warm comfy bed, they fade off fast[/spoiler]

>i glare at her.

>She starts moving her lips

>Faint but clear "thank you"

>I say the first thing that comes to my mind

>"I fucking hate you"

>Yep, that was the first thing

>She doesn't even flinch, frankly i think she smiles

>she mumbles "i know" before she's off to slumberland

>Yeah well fuck you and sweet dreams too.

>I sit up

>I'm still shirtless


>I stand up and start to leave before realizing we probably should check in on her every couple minutes

>I just point at girls and make it clear it's their job to make sure she's breathing every 10-15 minutes

>I grab glasses' arm and lead her back to the bathroom

>Close the door

>Lock the door

>Turn on the shower

>Watch as the disgusting mess just kind of washes away down the drain

>Of course its not going to be that easy though, chunks get stuck everywhere and its all over the clothes.

>Glasses and i spend ten minutes scrubbing the bathroom clean

>We don't take off any more clothes

>We don't really get more than our upper torsos in the shower

>But we get everything clean, and wash ourselves off thoroughly

>We walk out of the bathroom with pretty much the entire top halves of our bodies dripping wet, and a pile of clothes in my hands.

>We get about five steps out of the bathroom before i yell out across the entire household.


>they better fucking listen

>We end up waltzing into the laundry room and just tossing the wet clothes in an empty hamper, we'll deal with that later.

>We move back to the living room and they're actually kind of lined up like soldiers

>I don't think it was intentional but i just force glasses to stand in ranks along with the rest of them.

>She's still not wearing a shirt

>I'm still not wearing a shirt

>That doesn't make my fucking terror inducing look of malice any less scary to them all though.

>I'm like a god-damn army sergeant up in here addressing troops.

>I've got rules to lay down of my own now.

>First thing i do is call blondie and glasses absolutely shit friends again.

>I make it clear that they really fucked up, not just in the little "Oh well you could have stopped it" way either.

>I make it firmly clear that although she's completely to blame for drinking so much herself, they could have just stopped her at any time

>I make it clear that they both owe Raven a serious something whenever the time comes for favors to be cashed in.

>Glasses gets off the hook a bit because she did really help me with her though.

>Next on my list is fucking alcohol

>I lay down the law, nobody is to touch another god damn drop.

>I send Blondie to go retrieve the cups and bottle from birthday's room and burn them.

>We don't say a word while we wait for her to come back

>Its pure silence

>I've got a look on my face that makes sure it stays silence.

>All the girl's are really standing up straight now, it is like a bunch of marines.

>They're probably terrified of me.

>Eventually blondie returns and assumes her position in line.

>Third on my list is the sleepover itself

>Its over

>The silence doesn't hold

>Dissent in the ranks

>"We shouldn't be punished its her fault!" - Blondie

>"We weren't even drinking!" - Birthday

>I pull the shut the fuck up card


>I make it very god damn clear that a girl almost died here

>That us just dicking around and having a "good" time was over

>I make it full well clear that i'm going to go call Raven's mother and get her to pick up her daughter and that this sleepover is over.

>Everyone groans

>Homely blurts out "It's not our fucking fault she has problems"

>"We're not as fucked up as your FRIEND"

>Oh man homely

>The one thing you could have said to set me off

>You did it

>I just slap a smile on my face

>A shallow, empty, cheek to cheek, terrifying smile.

>She sees it and shrinks back, no argument left.

>I don't even wait for any more opinions and just start walking away.


>Its Glasses

>"You can't, you know you can't"


>She's right

>I'm on great terms with raven's mom, but even the most innocent explanation for why she was drunk and out like a light would just set off old bombs that are better left buried.

>fuck maybe i can call my mom or something

>"Take care of raven"


>I guess its a really dumb idea to get any parents involved in this

>*sigh* doing the irresponsible thing is the right choice i guess.

>It would set off lots of parental bullshit meters if the other parents found i was around at this sleepover anyway, and that alcohol was involved.

>Only so much of a lie you can hold when shit like this goes down.

>Not to mention the "Almost died" part.

>Blondie points this out word for word.

>Plus that whole almost dying thing

>I guess she's right

>I turn around


>they all jump like half a foot and stand up straight

>god damn that was pretty neat i didn't think they would do that.

>"If we're going to continue this we need some oath of secrecy that nothing leaves this sleepover"

>Birthday comes up with some sappy multi-pinkie-finger swear system and oaths are said to not speak a word of anything that happened or happens.

>[spoiler]For those of you who don't know what a pinky swear is, it requires all participants to extend hands and *link* your pinkies with one another.[/spoiler]

>I just stand there and watch with my hands behind my back

>[spoiler]YW: Loney anons[/spoiler]

>Now that this is done, i snap at Homely to go make sure raven is alright.

>She's up and out of the room in an instant

>God i wish i could do that all the time.

>I'm out of alpha for the time being though, so i just ask "then what are we doing now"

>It kinda comes out with a little bit of alpha left over, but its less of a question than a demand.

>Its only like 1:00 PM

>Birthday suggests more board games

>I don't give a shirt

>glasses doesn't seem to give a shirt either

>We both don't have shirts to give

>I'm not fucking fixing that though, lets play board games.

>Birthday pulls out the pile of board games again

>Monopoly no

>Risk is too long

>Shoots and Ladders lol

>Chess Lol

>Checkers Lol

>Battleship No


>Hell yes

>Blondie says no to jenga though




>We set that shit up

>"Wait up, winner needs to actually get something" - Birthday

>"They can tell all the losers to do one thing together and they have to do it?" - Homely

>Meh i guess thats not that bad an idea homely

>but i feel like anyone else would have come up with better

>Everyone seems to like that rule though.

>Time to be a fuckin pokemon master

>God damn roaming the countryside

>Capturing all the pokemon

>[spoiler]that game had like 150 pokemon tokens you could capture, it was great and nobody had it[/spoiler]

>We get to the elite four

>Each of us is getting our asses wrecked

>Except for one girl



>She rolls a motherfucking rare chance card and captures an articuno

>and a Zapdos

>Got like a fully evolved set of god-tier pokemon

>Seriously what the fuck

>Everyone else is floundering around with magicarp and ratatats

>She just rolls through and dominates everything

>Blows through the elite four, wins whatever the end of the game was.

>I can't handle this

>Everyone is mad

>"Alright i get to tell you guys to do something right?"

>Fucking hate you homely so much this better be good.

>"Everyone needs to stand on their heads for 20 seconds"






>"Without your shirt tucked in"

>ehh... i guess that's alright

>still pretty shit though

>Only really works on blondie and birthday, but i guess that's fine.

>I go first

>i can't stand on my head for shit

>I just fall over

>Can't hold 20 seconds at all

>Can't even hold 5

>Eventually homely takes pity on me and grabs my legs and holds me up

>which would be pity if she didn't take the chance to run her hands up and down my ankles.

>I just shut up and ignore her, since its not really something that's likely to make the other girls angry, and get my 20 seconds over.

>Glasses decides to go next

>She's perfect at standing on her head

>I don't understand how that works

>Probably breasts are counterbalances or something.

>Her breasts go from sagging a little bit downwards, to upwards toward her face as she does the flip over.

>She's still got her bra on, so there's not much movement really, but it's a lovely excuse to stare at her chest and delicious underboob for twenty seconds.

>She eventually rights herself and is finished

>The best part is i can still stare at her chest

>I'm broken out of my reverie by blondie offering up her turn next.

>She does a half somersault and ends up with her legs kicking in the air.

>Her shirt falls down and is pretty loose, so right over the front of her bra it goes.

>There's an absolutely glorious span of skin visible.

>From the waistband of her shorts (which seem to be a tad low on her hips), to the lovely triangle of flesh above her breasts but below her shirt.

>Even her bellybutton is tantalizingly visible

>Her chest is rather firm so there's no sag at all upside down.

>Just cute blue-bra encased breasts for twenty seconds.

>With adorable kicking legs in the air.

>except she tumbles down after fifteen

>Homely stomps her foot

>"You have to do all twenty!"

>Hahahaha, re-dos

>Blondie is forced to do another entire twenty seconds

>with enough skin that i'm inclined to become a vampire again.

>Last up is birthday

>She's blushing in the corner and standing behind where glasses is.

>I don't know why, because the only person she would be embarrassed about showing her tits to would be me

>And she probably knows i was looking at them all morning

>They're just tits, leme see em already

>She steps out



>she's wearing a skirt

>Homely you evil genius

>She seems to just decide in her head she should get it over with.

>Birthday walks over to where everyone else was doing handstands and kinda kneels there facing away from us.

>Then just leans forward with her arms on the ground and elevates one leg up in the air.

>Gravity does its job and her skirt just falls down around her torso

>She lifts up the other leg and keeps them both held towards the ceiling

>We can't see her chest with her skirt falling around her shoulders, but what we do see is much better.

>First we start at the ankles, her long smooth legs were completely revealed towards us, i could see knees, thighs and even the elusive upper thigh in one look.

>Her skin was a lovely shade of white, i guess she didn't tan much either.

>She was also shaved smooth the entire way, legs and all.

>This means one great thing

>Her underwear is firmly pressed into the crease of her crotch.

>This leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination

>As far as we were all concerned, we knew exactly where that vagina started and ended.

>She holds this position for 10 seconds

>12 seconds

>14 seconds she gives a little waggle

>She's on the ground at 16.

>I don't understand how, she had perfect form.

>Well you knew the rules, she had to go again

>Up in the air her legs went again

>Down around her shoulders the skirt went again

>Up in the air my boner went.

>this time she wiggles her legs a little bit the entire time

>This forces the panties back and forth through the crease

>We're really just standing like four feet away from this, even the girls were staring.

>16 seconds

>17 seconds

>She's on the floor again

>Homely is looking embarrassed, she tries to say that Birthday made it to 20 seconds that time.

>Birthday won't have any of it

>"No no no, i can do it i swear!"

>"Let me try again"

>She's sneaking peeks at all of us while giving this little piece of acting though

>We know.

>Birthday stands back up, backs up and puts her hands on her hips and pulls and wiggles a tiny bit

>Says she's "Readjusting"

>She gets back in position but she's facing us this time.

>She goes up, first one leg, than the other.

>Because she started facing us, it takes longer for the skirt to fall out of sight this time.

>When it does we get three audible gasps from our crowd

>Me twice

>and Glasses

>She had wedged the back part of her underwear perfectly between the crease of her buttcheeks.

>Both of them were perfectly visible, flapping in the wind even.

>Not to mention we got to see the entire smooth backs of her legs to go with it

>She holds this for fifteen seconds

>Then she spreads her legs and gives us a full view of her crotch

>Panties digging in the entire way

>Then she starts falling again

>Not this time

>Homely grabs her legs and forces her upright again for the last 5 seconds


>Homely you were so close

>Birthday gets up and won't actually look any of us in the eyes though

>I guess it helped that her skirt completely hid us from view when she was doing it.

>Homely declares that rule a terrible failure and that we shouldn't use it again


>She's complaining she's the only one who didn't get a turn

>That's alright in my book

>We ignore her

>I inform blondie she's in charge of coming up with the next rule and i walk off to check on raven

>I pop into the guest room

>She's curled up with her arms wrapped around one of the pillows that's propping her up

>She hasn't really moved much otherwise

>She's got a big clump of hair sticking into the side of her mouth though

>I wipe it away and try and tuck it behind her ear with my hand

>I don't really break contact and move closer to check her breathing and i move my hand over her forehead to check her temperature.

>[spoiler]at the time i wasn't really sure what i was supposed to be doing ok[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]i just associated it as being dangerously sick, so you know check everything[/spoiler]

>Confident she's safely in the arms of slumber and not eternal slumber, i return to the board games room

>Blondie hasn't really come up with a new rule

>she's just saying we should get to ask one person truth or dare

>*sigh* i hate this game i never win

>[spoiler] its not possible to win truth or dare with women[/spoiler]

>Come to think of it i don't seem to win anything with these women

>Jenga is determined as our next endeavour of time wastery.

>We set up the tower and throw down the rules

>Everyone gets a turn, if you make the tower fall you have to set it up again and wait until we start a completely new round.

>It starts 5 players, then 4, 3, 2

>Winner gets to truth or dare one person.

>We play blitzkrieg rules (after the first round of turns, you have to take 2 blocks, then 3)

>So rounds go pretty damn fast

>Homely out first


>Then Me

>Birthday Vs Blondie

>Insane tower balancing skills

>I don't understand how its not falling down but they're good.

>They get to the sixth set of turns

>Birthday manages to take three pieces and place them ontop, then get another two from the stack she's made

>But she's out of pieces and screws up the last one.

>Blondie wins

>Alright finally time for some serious lewd

>Come on blondie, lets do some justice

>Blondie turns to face Glasses

>"Truth or Dare?"

>Glasses picks Truth

>"Whats the Most perverted thing you've ever done?"


>Don't fucking answer that glasses

>You know better

>God damn if any of them find out i'm so dead

>I decide the best choice of action is a tactical retreat the second she breaks the news

>A tactical retreat down the street

>Glasses doesn't even flinch though

>She just puts on her typical Evil Smile and begins

> ">Sure thing, that's easy!"

>Oh no

> ">It Happened quite recently i guess"

>Every muscle tenses in my body i'm ready to fucking bolt

> ">Well, you guys know that trip i took on an airplane earlier this month?"

>I'm halfway out the door mentally

>Wait what

>I do actually flinch though, glasses definitely sees it.

>If anything she smirks wider

> ">Well, on the trip there i had a seat all by myself by a window"

> ">Next to this older guy, some family man, had two kids and a wife down the isle"

> ">I was really kind of worked up, i hadn't really been alone all vacation and the book i had was getting kinda intimate and wasn't helping"

> ">I ended up throwing my jacket over my lap and just.... well you know"

> ">Not just once too, i did it twice and i think the guy next to me noticed"

> ">Actually i'm sure he noticed..."

> ">I... think it made it better...."

>She has somehow kept a straight face this entire time

>The girls break out into hoots and giggles when she finishes her story though.

>I've got a kind of stupefied face on, i'm still not sure if i should run or not.

>I'm worried, because she's either lying through her teeth and is an absolutely amazing liar, or that really happened.

>I don't know if thats hot or not

>Not to mention that might be more perverted than sex with me.

>But just the fact that might have been true, or she just came up with it on the spot.

>Glasses is scary

>My male ego was confused.

>I don't know... anons i need clarification is... that more perverted?

>Fucking glasses

>I did, but still

>Next round is set up

>Its Me vs Blondie vs Glasses in the finals

>Blondie makes it to 4 pulls before she screws one up.

>Next round

>I lose on pull #3

>Fuck, i'm no good at this game.

>Glasses is staring me down, i prepare for the question and mentally decide dare is my best bet.

>"Blondie, Truth or Dare?"

>Oh, payback, got it.

>"I guess i'll go with truth" - Blondie

>"What's the most perverted thing YOU'VE ever done?"




>I'm ready to bolt out the door again

>Glasses is just giving me the most taunting eyes possible.

>Blondie just kind of stares straight forward for a second lost in thought

>Then i realize she's blushing pretty deeply

>she blurts out

>"I meant dare!, dare!"

>Birthday whispers into my ear that she's a fucking cheater.

>I agree, but i'm ok with it.

>Glasses doesn't miss a beat

>"Well you're wearing a bit much, how about losing your shirt?"

>Blondie realizes she's been caught between undressing in-front of me

>Or admitting she was already undressed in front of me.

>She ends up giving a little "Hmph" and reaching down to her waist and pulling her grey tank top over her head

>Delicious pert and gravity-defying breasts

>Encased in her lovely blue bra from earlier, but still.

>Well like i said, most of blondie's upper body was really elegantly appealing.

>Even without her breasts being exposed there was plenty of delicious eye candy.

>I was formulating plans in my head to kidnap her again and remind myself of this.

>But i had already promised myself no more public shows of attention, so even though i really wanted to stare at her, i reeled it into courteous peeks just like i had been doing with glasses.

>Next round

>Me, Homely, Birthday

>Birthday loses

>Me vs Homely

>No, must not lose

>3 Blocks

>Nobody down yet

>Four blocks

>Oh no its getting hairy

>Five blocks, homely picks every brick you can possibly move and leaves absolutely nothing for me.


>I try for my first brick

>Tower on the ground in pieces

>Failed so hard the pile actually catches fire ):


>She starts up innocently enough

>"Ohh... i don't know, who should i ask..."

>She's got one finger on her lips, i know she knows who she wants and she's just being suspenseful.

>She points at me

>"Truth or Dare"

>Oh no

>I weigh the options

>Truth will probably fuck me over

>Dare homely will probably fuck me.

>I'm gonna go with truth, maybe ill do less damage and i can always lie out of all the bad ones.


>"Alright, i've got a good one for you" -Homely

>"Which girl do you like the most in this room, in a romantic way?"


>All the girls in the room perk up





>wait i got this

>"No i'm sorry i said Dare"

>Phew, i'm saved, there's nothing she can think of thats worse than that.

>She's got no expression change on her face

>"Oh, i misheard you, I've got a perfect dare for you"

>I'm ready for it, give it to me straight boss

>"I dare you to...."

>"...Kiss the girl in this room you're most romantically attracted to"





>the captain's going down with this ship ):

>Im pretty sure that's got to be cheating

>There's a rule against that right?

>I'm looking around hopefully but all the girls are boring me with eye-drills

>Oh god i gotta think about this logically

>Glasses doesn't like me going after Blondie, but i don't know her opinion on Birthday

>Blondie would be crushed if i kiss anyone but her

>Birthday would be crushed if i kiss anyone but her.

>Fuck homely, i don't know what she was thinking but its definitely not her.

>But hurting her feelings is a bad idea too.

>I can't win

>there's no winning

>it's all gone so wrong

>Pls time traveling anons, send help

>I've got one plan


>"I... it's an important decision, i need time to think"

>I say this with a sincere thoughtful face on

>Atleast i hope its a sincere thoughtful face and not the fear and terror i had on the inside.

>The girls collapse into "Dawws" - Blondie

>and "Of course!" - Birthday

>I figure it's worked

>Of course i know who i would kiss, but they won't know that.

>I'm gonna go the route that doesn't involve suicide caused by multiple homicides on me.

>I stand up and just... walk away

>I think i end up in the kitchen

>I'm not alone though

>I have two followers

>Birthday and Blondie

>They're giving me these looks

>The eyes man, they're just staring at me

>"You like me more right"

>"You're going to kiss me right?"

>"I'm your irl Waifu aren't i?"

>This is what those eyes were saying

>pls send help

>I book it out of there

>I turn the corner

>turn like six more corners to make sure i've lost them

>i might be doing laps of the living room

>i don't care

>I open the door to the bathroom and step in

>I close and lock the door

>I turn around

>Homely is standing there with her knees bent

>She's halfway to removing her pants and sitting down to use the loo

>I meet her eyes

>she meets mine

>two seconds pass

>She continues pulling her pants down



>Just doing continual moonwalk spins and headshotting people as i exit the bathroom.

>I don't even know where i'm going

>I go around seven corners backwards and have over 15 confirmed kills.

>I just go through a door and lock it.

>I am so done

>I turn around

>Oh its the guest room

>Raven is still curled up

>I walk over and place my hand on her head again.

>She's got her face scrunched up and is breathing softly.

>Fuck i wish homely hadn't said "This room"

>This would have been easy, i would have led them in here and given raven a kiss on the cheek.

>Considering they know we were best friends and i had just pulled her out of a burning building in the eyes of the group

>it would have been met with a group "Daww" and the dare would have been over.

>Nobody would have been hurt, they wouldn't even be jealous because raven would never know.

>It would be a cute secret crush, instead of an open admittance of love over all the rest.




>I get off the bed and walk back to the door, going over the dare in my head.

>I take one look back at raven, walk out and lightly close the door as to not wake her.

>I put on my game face

>I return to the kitchen and find the two medusas staring me down with eyes of petrification.

>I tell them i've made my choice.

>They follow me back to the area we were playing games.

>All of the girls look solemn

>Moment of truth is upon us

>I have them all sit down in a row.

>Im still shirtless mind you, and so is blondie and glasses.

>Homely looks rather embarrassed, i couldn't give a shit.

>She should lock the goddamn door.

>I tell them that i thought long and hard about my decision

>that the girl i'm going to pick is definitely the one that i would like to be romantically involved in.

>I continue hyping it up like this

>I say that it's the most attractive woman in the room

>The most special

>The most mentally stimulating.

>These girls are in the palm of my hand

>Each one is imagining i've said all these nice things about them

>That i'm going to pick one of them up and romantically sweep them off their feet.

>I've got them all riled into boiling and frothing pots of hormones.

>Time to pick one.

>I kneel down infront of...

I think we need to have a vote on which girl i pick. The vote is irrelevant but i'm curious.

Which pokemon should woody capture on his quest to catch them all?

Votes (From readers at the time, feel free to vote in comments afterwards)

Blondie : 7

Glasses : 8

Homely : 3

Birthday : 1

Raven (not even an option tho) : 5

Other things in the Room: 2 (Household Appliance/ My Hand)


>I'm quick about it too

>She can't even react as i lean in and press my lips against hers.

>She's almost motionless at first

>She's probably absolutely terrified at what i've just done

>At the fact that i chose her over everyone else there

>I just keep kissing

>She opens up after ten seconds

>I can hear the sounds of every other girl in the room's heart breaking.

>It's gone from just lips, to full french

>She still tastes a bit like whiskey, but its sweet and almost lustful.

>I've got my tongue chasing hers across the valleys of teeth and gums

>We're playing the breath game again

>I breathe out

>She breathes in

>She breathes out

>I breathe in.

>I get lost in her mouth, but i know it's getting time to end it.

>I pull back

>Her eyes are glimmering

>I've never seen her so happy

>Time to break her heart.

>I pull back and just leap at the next girl down the line.

>Its blondie

>She gives a surprised squeak, but is interrupted by my lips on hers


>We still tumble backwards a bit

>She doesn't seem to know what to do, i just wrap one arm around her lower back and just force her up against my chest

>Her breasts are pressing against me

>Her stomach muscles are fluttering against mine

>She's taking quick and short breaths, she doesn't know how to play the breath game but it's alright.

>It's different.

>She tastes like whisky like glasses, but also somehow Maple syrup still.

>Maybe she just usually tastes like maple syrup.

>Could be secretly canadian

>I'm lapping her up like a thirsty kitten though

>Her tongue doesn't know what to do, but eventually we fall back into the rhythm we had earlier in the closet.

>Its close, less intimate than glasses and I ,but its different, her body is different, her taste is different.

>She's giving little gaspy breaths all of a sudden.

>I realize i'm running my hand over her stomach and tickling her.


>i keep doing it.

>about a minute and a half into the kiss i pull away.

>On to the next victim

>Homely happens to be next down the line




>My lips contact hers

>She's just as surprised as blondie was

>I guess she really wasn't expecting to be chosen at all.

>She's just lips gums and teeth though

>I don't know why she doesn't realize it but opening your mouth is a thing you do when you're kissing

>She probably hasn't been kissed many times

>Poor homely

>Still though, the kiss is awful

>She tastes like coke and white bread

>Not the most appealing flavor

>I try my best to teach her to open up, but its no use

>After a minute and a half i just pull away

>I'm dead on the inside

>But she seems happy


>Last but not least

>She's sitting kinda far away

>I do a flying leap at Birthday

>I manage to tackle her to the ground in a way that doesn't injure either of us

>Lips connect

>She's hot, her skin is burning compared to mine

>She also doesn't know how to kiss, but she's far better than homely

>Salty, tad sour, her tongue seems to be the most flavorful part

>She's not very good with her mouth or her lungs, but she's all over me with her hands

>I get hands on my back, she squeezes my butt, she's pressing herself into me

>Without a doubt she's the most physical of the four

>She's even grinding against me and letting out soft moans

>I'm kind of embarrassed

>But i do my deed and cop a feel of her breasts anyway

>I make sure to use my left hand, so the group can't really see what i'm doing since she's at the end of the line.

>But i definitely get a nice hard grasp and a rub of her breast.


>Somehow she gets one of her legs around mine and pulls me upwards a little


>My hardened crotch brushes hers

>This is like the best shifting weight sensation ever

>Fucking amazing.

>She does it three more times as we continue kissing

>Eventually i have to pull back

>My little friend tries to stay, but he's attached to the rest of me.

> ):

>I move backwards into a sitting position

>I'm completely out of breath, for very good reason

>I lean back mulling over the various kisses and the ups and downs.

>All the girls are looking at me with various confused (homely), amazed(glasses), angry(blondie), or just turned on(birthday) faces.

>I'm categorizing the kisses in my head

>Glasses had the best kissing technique by far

>Blondie was the most exotic.

>Homely was the worst kiss.

>Birthday was the most physical.

>I'm kind of silently wishing raven were here so i could try hers too

>But i take that back pretty quick, i'd want no part of her if she was awake now.

>It's really no contest who was the most fun to kiss though.

>I stand up

>I put on my best shit-eating-grin

>My voice is full of nothing but true glee as i announce

>"I've fulfilled Homely's dare of kissing the one woman in the room i would most like to be romantically involved with"

>"The rest of you just let me kiss you, who would have thought it was that easy"

>This is the part where i start running

>I yell behind me "I'LL NEVER FORGET ANY OF THEM"

>I'm dodging pillows and half the jenga set flies by my face

>I'm writing this as i'm locked in the bathroom

>There's loud banging and i think they've got a battering ram.

>Time traveling anons pls send help.

That's where i stop tonight anons, i need to wait for the time travelers to send help anyway.

Update #8 : April 10th[edit]


>When we left off i was locked in the bathroom with angry women possibly beating down the door

>No time traveling anons came to my rescue


>I had to solve this one on my own at the time.

>I was in a pretty great mood though, since i had just made out with every currently conscious girl in the house, in a span of 10 minutes.

>Of course the banging and yelling outside the bathroom wasn't helping my mood

>"Come out so we can castrate you" - Blondie

>This was accompanied by hurried agreements and more banging.

>There goes my thoughtful assassin thinking ahead as always.

>Far as i saw it, they weren't actually too angry.

>[spoiler]Women especially, tend to pull this very often compared to men, where they'll get Angry, or overreact to a subject that they aren't actually as emotionally vested towards as they make out to be[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]This seems to be for partially entertainment reasons, and partially because faking strong emotions gives you control over the situation[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] Manipulation and Advantages in future situations really[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] This isn't rare among men either, but men are usually being complete faggots about it when they do.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] Oh right, i guess the women are being complete faggots too[/spoiler]

>But they were angry enough that hiding in the bathroom was a valid option

>so i guess they were winning.

>As far as i was concerned though i had them right where i wanted them

>Each one was now playing the words i had sung to them earlier over and over in their own head.

>About being the cutest, most intelligent, most beautiful, the most desirable in the room.

>Each girl had the vain hope that it was them i was talking about.

>Each girl was probably replaying the kisses over and over along with those words too.

>I'm no casanova, but i mean i tried to not make the kisses awful.

>I know i was playing my favorite in my head at least.

>[spoiler]I'll give you a hint, it wasn't homely[/spoiler]

>However i had other things to do than reminisce about my past

>Time to defuse this situation.

>I walked up to the bathroom door and pressed my head against it facing the door crack.

>I wanted them to be able to hear my clearly

>They were still shouting various angry things and banging on the door though

>"WhO WAS IT?" - Homely

>"You Tasted like all the other girls, i want a rematch!" - Birthday

>The vibrations of the banging resonated through the door and were giving me a cheek massage.

>I think i was enjoying this.

>"He's probably jacking off" - Glasses

>I spit my drink all over myself at this comment

>except i don't have any drinks and i'm up against the door, but i mean that's the reaction anyway.

>The girls on the other side of the door devolve into hooting, giggling and more banging.

>"Open up! Let us see!" Squeaks an exasperated Birthday.

>"He's embarrassed now, we should let him finish" - Blondie in a taunting singsong voice.

>Blondie's spirits are way higher than i would have thought, i thought i crushed her a bit too hard when i kissed glasses first.

>She probably couldn't be anything but happy when i went straight to her second.

>"He probably needs help" - Glasses

>Yes pls

>"I bet its small that's why"

>A chorus of giggling and snickering ensue from Blondie/Birthday/Homely instantly.

>I don't even need to tell you who said this


>Glasses has done wonderfully though

>She successfully changed the situation from "CASTRATE HIM" anger.

>To sexual humiliation and teasing

>Glasses is such a bro

>You might not think so

>But I can work with this

>It's almost safe to come out

>I speak as clearly through the door as i can

>"Stop" , i say it softly but loud enough that they can hear it.

>One word, but the banging stops and they listen for the rest.

>I put on a completely Somber tone, trying to interject the tiniest hint of emotional sorrow into what i say next.

>"You guys will wake Raven"

>Silence from the other side of the door

>I continue

>"One of you go check on her would you..."

>Complete silence on the other side of the door

>Eventually i hear footsteps leaving

>My plan has worked perfectly.

>Firstly i've interjected guilt into the mix, they realize they were being really loud and feel guilty about it.

>I honestly couldn't give a shit about waking raven, and i really doubt they would have woken her.

>But they don't know that.

>This throws them just a bit off balance

>Just enough for me to ask for one of them to leave

>I've changed the odds

>its 3v1 now, i can take this.

>I speak again through the door

>"I'm coming out"

>Still silence

>I unlock the door

>Its not instantly shoved down and i'm not on the floor

>I consider this a victory

>Gotta take em when i can get em.

>I know i gotta keep the victories coming though

>I crouch down and start charging


>I open the door when i'm half charged.

>First target is blondie, perfect.

>She gets hit hard in the stomach with the Force of a thousand screeching fal"CON"s that accompany my "PUNCH"

>Homely and Birthday are the only two left.

>It's still dawning on them that i'm out of the bathroom

>They don't understand yet

>I still have the advantage

>I give Homely an ol Sagat tiger knee to the stomach

>She doesn't even block

>Her feet even leave the ground for a moment

>She's down

>Birthday Vs Me now

>But she's onto my plan

>I try to catch her off guard with a generic Karate chop to the right shoulder.

>I know that if i can disable one arm i can win.

>She dodges to the left and i'm left open.

>She hits me with some god damn lightning legs like chun li

>I guess she doesn't need her arms

>Atleast 10 hits before i fall backwards.

>I'm on the ground clutching my stomach

>She moves over to gloat, hand on her hips

>I was just pretending


>She's in the air

>She's on the floor

>I win.

>I walk in victory to the living room

>The girls follow me

>Blondie has her hands on her hips in characteristic "You have some splainin to do mister" style

>Birthday and Homely mimic her in seconds.

>I try to avoid them and sit on the couch

>Homely stops me

>"Oh no you aint goin nowhere"

>She even matches this with her hand going in that "Z" motion and snapping her finger at every corner

>They surround me

>Birthday places her hand on my chest for a tantalizing second before shoving me down onto the armchair.

>They're all towering over me, hands on hips.

>I'm being glared at from all directions.

>This is when i realize all of the women were black.

>And Blue with jealousy

>[spoiler] Back in 2005, black culture was pretty cool-ish among white kids[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]It was ever present in media, and of course you just kinda picked up silly things and did them sometimes[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] This isn't racist, fuck you, it was fun[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] white culture is never cool anyway ): [/spoiler]

>They were demanding answers though

>Glasses shows up as well, she just plops down on the right arm of the chair and accompanies the staring contest.

>I'm considering staring back, but picking one girl to look at might give away hints i can't afford to be giving.

>I'm trying to think ways out of this, i already laid most of my webbing before i started kissing.

>I guess i have an escape route or two

>I test one of the webs

>"Well, I just thought that the girl would know is all."

>Expressions soften all around, i've now got four sets of cute puppy/kitty cat eyes glimmering at me.

>God damn adorable, i've got this

>They'll all shut up and think its themselves.

>I continue

>"I tried to make the kiss between us Special..."

>All the kisses were "Special"

>I had kissed all the girls differently, even if they compared they could argue about it for hours.

>This plan was flawless, i just had to walk away.

>a soft voice breaks out over all the others.

>"I knew it was me"





>She's got a smirk on the size of kansas though

>She knows exactly what she's done

>She's killed me

>Her mission was complete

>This is it folks, my dismembered limbs are carried in a parade through the city.

>My head on a golden plate

>The girls break into TURBO BICKERING

>"He liked ME the most" - Homely

>I'm trying to sneak away

>"No of course he DIDN'T, i had Butterflies in my stomach when he kissed me!" - Blondie

>I've gotten on my hands and knees, i've started scaling the left arm of the chair

>"Well he groped my breasts, he didn't do that to you did he?" - Birthday

>I'm halfway to freedom when i feel a hand in the waistband of my pants

>"HE WHAT" -Blondie and Homely together

>I turn back and look

>Its glasses, she's got a brimming evil smile on again.

>She does enjoy seeing me suffer

>"Yeah, i was grinding against him like the entireee time." - Birthday

>She's got her hand firmly down the back of my sweatpants though, i'm not escaping.

>"Well i didn't have a shirt on, his chest was fully pressed against mine" -Blondie

>She's like squirming with glee at this statement

>I guess it was really good for her.

>"And his hands were all over my stomach, it was so hot!" - Blondie

>Her voice is like a flittering songbird singing out to a mate.

>I don't know how she does that, but her excited voice is something to behold.

>Well it was excited until Birthday points out that Glasses got the same treatment.

>"She's right, but i didn't tickle glasses"

>I don't say this though

>That would be really stupid.

>But i was really confused when everyone was looking at me


>im so sorry past self ):

>Nobody is talking

>Everyone is looking at me

>Blondie's not looking at me though

>She's looking through me and saluting the american flag with her freedom face on.

>Head held high, right hand over her breast.

>She knows she's temporarily won the war.

>"I guess shirtless kisses really are better huh?"

>Birthday says this with a defeated sound in her voice

>I actually felt a little bad

>I did get quite a bit more actual skin contact with Blondie and Glasses than i did her.

>Although i would have probably exploded in my pants if she had been able to get any more physical with that kiss.

>Homely suggests Herself/Birthday get a Re-Do with shirts off.

>This sounds like a great plan at first

>I'm nodding on the inside.

>Wait a second

>My eyes narrow

>I realize its a clever homely trap

>She's the only girl that's not wearing a bra

>I would have to kiss her topless

>I contemplate asking glasses if i can borrow her bra

>[spoiler]To wear myself as protection.[/spoiler]

>then i realize there's just a better plan

>I relax back into my seat

>Glasses doesn't remove her hand though

>Its still down the back of my pants -.-

>I shift over and whisper into glasses' ear

>"Homely doesn't have a bra on, would be... unfair"

>Her hand is probably very visible down the back of my pants

>I don't want to look at all the women but i can feel the heat of eye lasers.

>Glasses doesn't say anything, she just gets up and removes her hand.

>She roams over around the group of people and scoops up homely's arm and leads her away


-More posting at 10:56 I guess Ima go make a sammich


>Safety assured

>I inform birthday she's going to need to calm her tits

>I get the statement out just in time because she's trying to undress right there

>She's dying to kiss me with her shirt off

>Blondie has a sadder look on her face than she did earlier

>"But... it's not fair if they get to kiss again"

>Daww blondie wants another kiss too

>I'm sure glasses would feel left out if she didn't get a kiss too.

>I'm not actually sure how i want to handle this.

>On one hand i want all the girls shirtless

>y... yeah even homely a tiny bit

>[spoiler] don't hate me[/spoiler]

>On the other hand i know that kissing them isn't going to actually help at all

>It might seem fair on the outside but they will just harshly judge every single move i make

>I would have to kiss all of them the exact same.

>I don't know if i could even do that, or resist not making each one different.

>I would have to tie myself up or somethi...


>Well it'll work i guess

>But fuck tying myself up

>I would be dead in mere seconds

>I inform Blondie and Birthday of my plan.

>Blondie hates it

>Birthday is grinning evilly

>I guess that means its a good plan

>we're waiting for Glasses and Homely to come back

>Blondie complains to me the entire time

>She really hates the plan

>This is really cute

>Glasses and Homely return

>The prodigal sons from another land

>Homely looks pretty proud of herself

>I would be worried but i'm still mulling over my plan in my head

>It pretty much backfires if even one girl disagrees

>Plus it would ruin the mood if that happens

>I'm trying to revise the rules in my head so that i wont end up hated by everyone.

>Birthday doesn't give me a chance

>"He's decided we're going to kiss him"

>t... thanks Birthday

>"We're going to hold his arms behind him too!"

>Wait a second birthday i was going to just hold my arms behi

>"Ooh, that means we can do whatever we want huh?" - Glasses

>It's like she knows just what to say to egg the group on every time.

>Everyone's swooning, even me

>I don't know if i want to deal with this

>I guess it's not THAT bad

>The girls establish a timing system and everything with me just sitting there pondering the glorious events that were about to unfold.

>Alright girls, lay it on me, how many minutes

>"Three minutes each"

>Eep that's double the time i spent with each of them before

>"No hands under clothes, anything else is fair game"

>Oh man this is a dream come true

>Picture perfect anime events unfolding

>I'm so ready for this

>Beyond so ready for this

>My mind is racing as i examine each of the women

>I know birthday is probably going to dry hump me to death, but Glasses and Blondie are complete Mysteries

>And homely... well i can close my eyes and pretend it's someone else i guess.

>Speaking of homely

>"Aren't we forgetting something?"

>She reminds us that the shirtless part of the kissing game was still a thing.

>Ohmanohman everyone's gonna be in bra's

>I'm sitting up in my chair

>Probably wagging my tail and i have my tongue hanging out like a dog.

>Birthday catches my eyes

>Gives me a little wink

>She starts first

>She doesn't just undress, she kneels down and is on her knees at the base of the chair

>This puts her more or less at the same height as me eye-wise

>Eye contact

>It doesn't break, i don't even look downwards as she lowers her arms and raises her shirt up

>The eye contact breaks as the shirt passes her head

>I look down

>Glorious golden-bra encased breasts.

>Always good

>She gives her upper torso a firm jiggle back and forth for my amusement before standing back up.


>Homely up next

>Glasses gives me a wink this time

>what the fuck

>I don't understand, but homely steps infront of the chair

>All the girls are obviously curious as to what she's wearing

>Homely doesn't want to pull off her shirt directly though

>I guess she's embarrassed

>She turns her back to me

>I watch as she pulls up the front of her shirt, nothing is visible but she seems to pause when it's above her breasts

>I can see fabric encasing them, so i might be safe.

>The girls however are giving out Gasps and "Oohs"

>I'm a tad worried.

>She turns around

>She's wearing a lacy brassiere, something you would see in a pin up magazine

>It looks hilarious

>I haven't seen one of those ever in real life before

>It must have been Birthday's moms or something.

>I laugh

>I manage to hold most of it in though, i just get off a ha or two.


>Homely has the shirt down over her chest in a flash.

>She just yells out "JERK" and stomps away

>The other girls are just staring at me

>They're angry

>I've fucked up

>I've really fucked up

>I've got to run

>I just had a girl take off her shirt to show me something she thought was "Sexy" and i laughed

>Oh god anons never ever ever laugh at things attached to females.

>Never ever ever

>I'm off the side of the armchair in a flash

>Glasses can't even grab at me this time

>I hit the ground flat and start trying to roll away.

>They can smell my fear

>What was once a disorganized group of females fighting between one another

>Is now an organized pack hunting machine

>They're flocking like a murderous murder of murdering crows.

>I'm tactically rolling away

>One of them gets my leg

>I'm clawing at the carpet

>the last thing i see is blondie coming at me with a pillow.

>I knew it would end this way...

>Well that's the last thing i see before i kick off whoever has my leg and bolt out of there.

>Back around the corner

>Through the Kitchen

>Bathroom again

>Lock the door

>They're banging on it again

>Probably two battering rams

>Time traveling anons pls send help

>Well actually don't

>I yell out past the door


>They don't quiet down.

>Pls don't send help though, it'd be embarrassing

>I finish up, wash my hands, ect.

>unlock the door and walk out again

>I get battered with various pillows and punched in the arms a couple of times.

>Homely is back, with her shirt on and an obvious hurt look on her face.

>She doesn't seem to be emotionally traumatized though

>My experiences in dealing with raven seem to be non-indicative of what actual girls think.

>She's not giving me a chance to recover though, she personally punches me hard in the shoulder

>I take it like a man

>Which means i wince and grab it with my other arm because it actually hurt.

>I don't ever understand why we grab things that hurt, but i did.

>She's not too mad though, i should probably be worried

>Homely walks up to me

>I back up

>She follows

>She's got some look on her face i can't read at all

>It's probably because i spend absolutely no time reading her face

>She's actually forcing me against the wall again now

>Her clothed breasts are pressing against me and i realize she's back to not wearing any bra at all.

>They're lovely and soft though

>I can feel them change shape as she presses harder and harder against me.

>She makes like she's going to kiss me

>She brings her face actual inches in front of mine

>Her eyes are sultry, like she's been craving a delicious piece of cake all day and she's going to bite into it.

>Her lips are full, soft... round

>They're so tantalizing

>Would you blame me if i tried to lean forward right now and connect?

>Well i do try

>Except she's got her hands on my shoulders

>I can't move

>i've been tricked

>This movement on my end seems to be exaclty what she was waiting for

>She breaks off her advance

>Moves back

>Her eyes break contact when she gets a foot away from me

>She almost instantly turns around and squeals "You see!"

>"I told you it was me!"

>Hey wait a second that's not how it wor-

>"Plus he likes these better like this"

>She's got both her hands on her breasts and jiggling them up and down individually

>The other girls are looking on in shame

>Blondie looks like she's taking it the worst

>Glasses knows this is probably her fault.

>It is her fault so fuck her for the time being

>Stupid sexy homely

>Birthday is actually looking worried

>Homely infringing upon her territory


>I guess homely saw birthday as the main threat in competition.

>She was trying to do the birthday thing and go full aggressive.

>This makes sense why they've been directly competing this entire time

>Homely's not playing this straight though

>She backs up

>Wiggles her upper torso and exclaims

>"Well maybe you'd like them better like this!"

>In one sweeping motion she's got her shirt over her head.

>Oh lord

>They're definitely Ds

>Both of them aren't very firm, but not droopy either.

>Just well rounded with a little bit of hang

>My male brain has the instant desire to "support" them.

>The center of each has good half-dollar sized circles of red flesh, topped with a lovely nipple.

>I'm now in full automatic

>Male brain kicking in

>I'm not thinking straight at all, i mean...


>She's still got her plan in motion though

>She's close to me again

>She's actually up against me

>I can feel both of her breasts pressing against me

>[spoiler]Breasts when they press against you end up all over the place, it's really not symmetrical[/spoiler]

>Her nipples are just the tiniest bit hard

>It's really not hard to tell where they're pressing against me

>She's back at kissing distance

>One tantalizing second, i look up from her lips at her eyes.

>And she's off of me

>No kiss

> ):

>Wait a second did i actually want homely to kiss me

>I'm so confused

>my Boner is so confused

>Multiple other body parts are confused as well

>My hands are still hovering where i would be holding her

>My crotch is still leaning forward slightly anticipating the kiss

>I'm still making kissing lips

>She's not though

>She's facing me from across the hallway and has nothing but a look of contempt on her face

>"What, you wanted a kiss? Too bad. J-E-R-K"

>She enunciates every syllable with a scowl

>With that she turns away, taking her breasts with her and waltzes down the hallway whistling and swinging her top in one hand.


>Homely wins this round

>I'm still standing there

>Dumb as balls expression on my face

>Blondie is first to act, she walks up and Slaps me

>It's not really a slap though, she like takes her hand and brings it up against my right cheek, hits it rather softly.

>"Idiot", she whispers as she draws her hand across the front of my face and walks down the hallway

>Glasses is generally amused, i get a curt "You deserved it" as she walks off in the same direction as blondie.

>I resist the urge to yell "FUCK YOU TOO GLASSES" down the hallway.

>Birthday is still standing there with her eyes turned downcast

>I'm about to ask what's wrong right as she looks up at me

>There's a look of rabid determination in her eyes

>each muscle around her eyes are scrunched up

>her mouth is prim and an absolute straight line.

>I'm formulating apologies in my head

>I've hurt her badly, or she's got my murder planned

>Is she jealous

>Is she angry

>I can't tell

>I don't need to tell

>I see her bite her lip for just a second.

>She's suddenly in the air

>She tackles me against the wall

>I don't hit my head somehow

>I realize she's put her hand behind my head so it hits the wall and softens the blow to not hurt

>I'm going to have to remember that trick for later

>But my learning is interrupted by her hot lips upon mine

>No foreplay, all tongue

>Same flavor as before, but lighter

>I'm not complaining

>She's trying her hardest to press me against the wall as much as possible

>She has one arm behind my lower back, and another behind my head

>She's got both of her breasts pressed against me

>Actually so much pressure they're spilling upwards out of her bra.

>I realize my hands are still outstretched in the "Trying to kiss homely" Position.

>I rectify that and place them on her back

>The warm, bare flesh of her lower back.

>She seems to have other plans though

>She pulls back

>And shoves me through the bathroom door backwards

>I manage four surprised steps backwards before i stumble and land on my behind

>It's far enough though, she's in the bathroom with me

>the door is closed

>the door is locked

>She gives me a sultry smile

>"That's better"

>Those words are purred like a content lioness.

>Her hands reach behind her

>I can tell what she's doing

>It's obvious what she's doing

>But i'm still looking at her face

>something's wrong

>It's her eyes

>She's purring like a lioness, but her eyes

>They're saying nothing of the sort

>They're like a lost little kitten

>They're screaming "Accept me"

>Her hands finish, the Bra goes slack.

>I watch in slow-motion as she hunches her shoulders forwards and the entire thing just slides off.

>Her words and actions scream confidence.

>But she's still holding the Bra in both hands where it fell

>It's almost defensive

>Her body language screams embarrassment, with the tiniest bit of fear

>I think she's scared i'll reject her

>Valid fears for anyone in that situation i guess.

>I'm still on my butt on the ground looking up.

>There's tits

>I'm looking

>Smaller than homely's, Large Cs

>Her areola and nipples are smaller too, just enough to notice a difference.

>But instead of red, they're light pink.

>She's absolutely ravishing, i'm not sure where to look because the entire package is so enticing.

>She's standing with her arms still held forward and together by holding the bra, one leg slightly ahead of the other under her long skirt.

>To top it off the expression in her eyes has leaked slightly and her face is backing it up.

>The position itself is rival to some of the best modeling you'll ever see. The emotions passing it far beyond anything comparable.

>I don't get to stare very long though

>She takes a step forward, and blurts out

>"Tell me i'm better!"

>It's definitely not confident, its like a desperate plea

>I'm of course more than happy to blurt out

>"Yes you're be-"

>But i'm interrupted by being pounced again and kissed

>I'm not knocked backwards though

>She lightly forces more and more of her weight against me until i slowly reel backwards and lie down

>I've got her full chest against mine

>and her Nipples were VERY hard.

>Almost painful hard

>But psychologically the feel of nipples pressing against you is awesome.

>I didn't get any victory music though,

>I'm too busy being kissed

>She's got me pinned against the floor

>One of her legs is snaked around mine

>That feels god damn amazing by the way.

>I can't move

>I don't want to move

>Well i guess i can move my hands

>I take advantage of his and wrap one around and place it on her lower back

>But i have TWO hands

>I take the chance and place my other right on her right buttcheek

>She doesn't seem to notice, or if she does she doesn't care

>Hell yeah

>She's moving her entire body against me

>She's got one of her legs folded up underneath her

>This puts her knee right against my crotch.

>Not in a painful way though, it's like its there just to provide the right amount of pressure and friction

>Her breasts are rubbing up and down ever so slightly every time she applies pressure with her knee.

>Her kiss is involving our entire faces now

>We have our mouths wide open, chasing down one another like we're trying to eat the other participant

>Each time we catch the other, it just ends in a stalemate as we go back to tongue play.

>I'm not sure this is how kisses work, huge slobbery messes, but it's actually pretty fucking fun.

>I take a chance between kisses and slip my other hand under her skirt.

>It ends up on her left panty-clad butcheek

>Its much hotter under the skirt, and her panties are made out of some soft silky material

>This just kind of slides around in my hands and i don't have a firm purchase, but it's amazing nonetheless.

>[spoiler]I don't know if you've ever touched women's underwear, but somehow its like seventy times nicer than men's in terms of fabric quality[/spoiler]

>[spoiler] It's got to be something to do with how thin the material usually is[/spoiler]

>I've got my other hand slowly working under her skirt as well, but its slow progress because i have to stop it wherever it is and hold her tightly every time we play the chasing game.

>The hand starts on her bare lower back.

>Pauses temporarily on the mountains of her upper tushie.

>Enjoys an afternoon stroll across her clothed upper thigh.

>Uses the skirt as a shade from the hot summer sun on her lower thigh.

>Eventually Monsieur hand makes his way to the bare upper thigh

>He's on tiptoes now, sneaking ever closer to his goal.

>He's on edge, he knows he might be caught any moment.

>With relish he reaches ze goal he's been traveling for.

>With one movement i clasp my hand softly over the entire crevice of her pantied crotch.

>From her butt, to where my fingers are pressing lightly right below her lower navel.

>She freezes

>an odd look on her face as she sits up slightly.

>She doesn't remove my hand though

>Her legs squish together as she changes position and i find myself happily stuck here, one hand on her behind, one right between her hinds.

>The only real sensation i can feel is heat emanating off of where Mr. righty is visiting.

>Birthday finally speaks


>So what i'm thinking in my head

>i'm not sure this is what i should be saying right then though

>My brain wasn't exactly working at full steam

>Or half steam

>Or any steam

>It might have been empty

>It must have been empty because i simply repeat "So..." and look at her questioningly.

>Her confidence is back, she doesn't look as fragile anymore, but i know it's probably all there if i poked the wrong spot.

>"So... am i better?"

>Holy shit that's what this was about wasn't it

>I completely forgot

>Of course you're fucking better woman, i would have just told you if you asked me

>Not that i mind how you asked of course

>In retrospect this would have probably been the proper response

>Instead i try to be suave and "cool"

>yeah, im cringing too.

>"You had to ask?" Was my ill thought out response.

>To make it worse i punctuated it with a wiggle of my fingers right where she could feel them.

>this seemed like a good idea at the time

>Her funny look doesn't stop

>It doesn't change to hurt, or sadness, or happiness

>It's just kind of confused.

>I can almost see her changing slowly from "Loved" to "Unwanted" in her eyes

>My brain isn't working correctly because she's still got her knee pressing firmly against my hardness

>But i can tell she's not liking the answer

>I dimly realize i probably just made it about sex and not her

>I had given the equivalent to the after-romp question of "Was it as good for you as it was me?"

>Don't ever do that anons.

>I rack my mind and just blurt out an answer i think will smooth it over.


>That does it, her entire posture softens

>Her upper body relaxes, her chest sinks an entire inch and brings her beautiful breasts along with it.

>Her eyes are back to smiling

>i retreat to my older thoughts of "I would have just fucking told you woman"

>I say some of these words

>Looks like i'm not fucked

>I'm just looking at her expectantly

>I'm pretty sure i had a pleading look all over my face.

>Please insert another coin to continue


>She repositions her knee, it's no longer pressing firmly against me, instead its on the other side of my leg

>This opens up her crotch, and lets my hand breathe again.

>She's just kneeling above me topless.

>Both of her legs straddling me

>Both of my hands under her skirt, one on her left buttcheek, one placed flatly across her panty-covered most private place.

>She's not moving

>She's got a kind of quizzical smiling face on, like she's deciding if she wants to do something or not.

>I take the chance, might as well

>I take the hand i have on her crotch and place a firm amount of pressure with my middle finger right into her pubic bone.

>I just watch her face, as i slide it down, inch by inch across her panties.

>Where her slit starts...

>She's got a look of focus on her face as if she's concentrating on something.

>Halfway down

>She strains a tiny amount and bites her lower lip.

>Bottom of the curve

>No movement in her face

>still the same focused concentration.

>I round out the last bit with the lightest caress of what i could only assume was her rear, before i moved my hand to the back of her thigh.

>Her look softens, then hardens again.

>She seems to have made a decision.

>"Thanks for picking me"

>She leans over and picks up the bra where she left it and begins putting it back on.

>Million things going through my head

>She definitely thinks that she is for-sure the one i picked during the kissing game.

>I mean the whole point was to give everyone enough clues to think it was them

>But now she REALLY thinks it was her.

>I'm not sure where my opinions lie on this

>She's got her bra back on though, hidden the precious things from sight while i was thinking about what she just said.

>Still have my hands on her glorious ass though

>Aint taking this away from me

>She stands up

>She's taken this away from me

>I see a hand hovering in my vision

>Oh i guess i should take this

>I'm hauled to my feet

>Still have a boner of a million armies

>I'm not stopping here

>Fuck that

>I wrap my arms around her, pinning one of her arms to her side and the other between me and her.

>I lean in for a kiss

>I close my eyes

>I meet her finger

>I open my eyes

>A single finger separating my lips from meeting hers.

>She's giving me another quizzical look, but its softer and it's almost saying "I'm sorry"

>I have absolutely no clue what she's thinking but i was just kiss-blocked by her finger

>She lets loose a whisper

>"Not now..."

>Her breath is hot and cascades across the features of my face

>It feels lovely


> ):

>I let go

>She backs up and straightens up

>She points at the sink

>We're both kinda covered with slobber i guess

>It's not a very cheery time, we both kind of just solemnly clean ourselves up and wipe away any traces of what happened here.

>Its much easier since we don't have shirts on

>We finish cleaning up and i get another sad apologetic look from her

>I don't know what i could have possibly done to deserve that look

>It must be something she doesn't want to tell me

>Maybe she's afraid of being caught by everyone else, or something else simpler.


>Oh right we should probably not exit the bathroom together

>I offer to go first and just duck into the guest room and wait out her reintroducing herself to the crowd for a while.

>I do just that

>I close the door behind me

>The room is a darker and much quieter stark contrast to the rest of the house

>I guess the girls were back in the living room playing video games from what it sounded like.

>I turn away from the door and glance over at raven

>she's somehow shoved all the pillows all over the place and is lying on her back.

>I remember this is a bad thing

>I walk over and sit on the bed

>half of her torso is sticking out and it looks like she's half tangled in the blankets

>I think one of her feet is even hanging off the edge under the covers

>She seems to be sleeping happily unaware of this though

>Silly girl

>I slightly chuckle to myself comparing her chest to the two i had just had shoved in my face.

>Still, small has its merits, and i shove this thought from my mind as i roll her over.

>little bit of repositioning later, i've got her back on her side and wrapped up properly.

>Even got her arms around that hugging pillow, her chin resting on the corner of it softly.

>She has no clue, but she's winning major cuteness points in her sleep

>fokin adorabul

>I hear the door click though and i'm brought quickly out of my dawwing

>I turn around to find glasses closing the door behind her

>She turns around and seems completely surprised to see me.

>I mumble something like "she was just sprawled, i put her back on her side"

>She doesn't seem to say anything, she just gives a kind of half-nod.

>I guess that was a good enough excuse to have been gone for all this time and found in the room with an unconscious half-naked girl in it.

>I hoped glasses trusted me at that point, i sure felt like she did.

>She turns towards the door and starts to leave

>I stop her

>"Glasses" This is just her full name

>"Are you mad at me?... from earlier?"

>She doesn't turn around

>We're both just standing there silently for a bit

>longer than a bit, it's maybe 20 seconds, neither of us saying anything.

>Eventually she turns around

>She turns with one leg, the other just remains stationary

>It's more of a pivot

>She's smiling though

>The light is kinda bad, but from the distance i think i see a wet spot between her nose and her cheek.

>I wonder if she was crying, but i'm interrupted by her chosen statement.


>This is just a harsh flat word in my ears

>I'm crestfallen

>I know that she means way more than she's saying

>I'm mulling this over, what her real opinions are on the subject for about a third of a second before she continues

>"Because you chose to kiss me first".

Update #9 : April 11-12th[edit]

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>Update #10 : April 13th[edit]

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