Blindmute Loli Characters
Note: Serious spoilers ahead. We recommend that you finish the [Blindmute Loli|Original Story]] before continuing.
- Jake - The OP, who tries to adopt Erika, and experiences immense obstacles and terrible hardships to do so.
- Erika - The title character, a 7 year old who is blind and mute, and has experienced a terribly traumatic childhood by the time she meets Jake.
- Luke - Jake's on-and-off best friend, former room-mate, and local pedophile.
- Melinda - Luke's latest girlfriend, which he hooked up with after dumping a fursuiter. She's a rich, sensual tigress.
- Sharon - An agent from the US Child Protection Service, helping Jake with Erika's adoption.
- Mark - Sharon's asshole boyfriend who everyone hates. Likes to make fun of blindmute lolis and blindmute loli guys. Also has a crazy ass mom.
- Megan - Some sexy jailbait who dates, stalks, and baby sits for Jake. Her slutty behavior posed Jake with his ultimate dilemma: to choose between Jailbait Secks or Loli Adoption? That is the question!
- Boss - Known only for dealing "fairly" with Jake and Megan's relationship.
- Mark - Sharon's MAN! Likes to make fun of blindmute lolis and blindmute loli guys. Also has a crazy ass mom.
- Landlord - Husband of Cheryl. Also the first funeral Erika attended was his (THOUGH I GUESS HAVING YOUR MUM DIE A GRUESOME DEATH DOESN'T COUNT, AMIRITE?!). And yes dumbass, he's dead. Have a cookie.
- Cheryl - Ex-wife of Luke's landlord who buys the property from Gloria. She's the Mary Sue of this whole story. She had style, looks, a jewish husband (on whose grave she got to dance) and cancer. What more could someone ask from life?
- Gloria - Crazy sister of Luke's landlord who inherits his property. A "Do not feed patients!" sign around her neck would be appropriate.
- Ryan - A challenger appears! When Jake, due to his tardy ways almost lost Erika's custody, Ryan was here to take his place. And instead of loli huggings and alike he presented Erika with regular beatings He made her trip ONCE. Kidz "fall" on their asses all the time, amirite? Also has a girlfriend who also occasionally "falls over". Bitchez... what can you do?
The Wall Family
- James Wall - Also known as Jimaroonie and later on as The Procrastinator. Made beibiez with Sharon (oh noes!)
- Cynthia - Business oriented wymyn. And, of course, as such she is strong, independent and being cheated on.
- Eric - Where do we begin? A pedophile, a feet fetishist (hence the link next to his name, dummy), a white privileged middle class teenager and worst of all: A FUCKING EMO!
- Melanie - Aged 12 and horny for some protagonist meat.
- Amelia - Just your generic loli. You'll see a lot of those here. Not to be confuzeled with Jake's sister.
> *"Now in Ohio you can run into some pretty southerny people, but these were authentic church every Sunday the Civil War isn't over southerners."* > \- Any more "southerny" and they'd be eating penguins.
- Melinda's Niece - A fierce loli rival to Erika.
- Melinda's Dad - REDNECK
- Melinda's Mom - DEAD
- Melinda's Sister - FAT
- Melinda's Sister's Offspring - ANNOYING
- Jake's Parents - Despite having an ED, they managed to bring three children into this world, with a 1/2 ratio of being successful/reatard (close, but no cigar). Also their view on solving problems with their children is kicking them out of the house.
- Amelia - Like Opera users she is a scoffing, condescending wymyn with an Internet Degree. "The success of the family" (sorry, blindmute loli raep not included =3). Not to be confused with... who was it again?
- Emily - Because of her, Jake will never become the President. =(
> *"Do you think daddy is a bad person? You know it wouldn't have happened if mommy didn't make daddy mad."* > \- Father Knows Best.
- Erika's Mom - She made daddy mad. Nuff said.
- Erika's Dad - Kinda like Chris Brown, except he is into IRL perma-banning and, surprisingly, not a black person. Probably azn though, so there you go. Oh, those silly gooks!
- Erika's Sister - She was mentioned only once. She was even lolier than Erika before her untimely death in an alleged accident.
- Kaji - A morbidly obese dog named after an Evangelion character. Also likes taking "green sickly looking shits". We shit you not.
- Senor Fleshlight - When buying a dildo for your girlfriend, what do you do? That's right, you're a smart nigger and you buy a fleshlight. That's called thinking ahead, kidz!
- The Lamp - The promoter of drama, the bringer of lulz, this single object helped our uncanny protagonist screw his life in the most various of ways.
- Mark's Mother - A lulzy drama-generating old person.
- Bill Cosby Double - A black dude who was later revealed to have almost been the one to help Erika. Being paired up with objects, the barely living and animals doesn't really help either.
- [Encyclopedia Dramatica - Blindmute Loli](https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Blindmute_Loli)
- [Wikichan - List of Blindmute Loli Characters (Internet Archive)](https://web.archive.org/web/20080213202612/http://wikichan.org/index.php/List_of_Blindmute_Loli_characters)