Blindmute Loli, December 2007
Thread 55 (12/05/07)
Hello /b/, blindmuteloli guy here. I've been neglecting to update because of my busy schedule (lol animu), so the events of this thread happened a few days ago. Erika got up, and I could tell she was in a bad mood. She had a perfectly good reason to be in one too. "We don't have to go if you don't want to..." But she was resolute on it. Yes, we were going to the prison.
We dressed up in nice clothing (the dress code is rather strict, if you don't adhere to it exactly you get thrown out) and left. She was completely untalkative (unwritive perhaps?) the whole way there (although it's not a good idea to read and drive). At this time, I was still somewhat in the dark about the situation as well. I didn't look up any information on this guy, what he did, why he was in prison. Part of me felt like it wasn't something I had the right to snoop for, part of me was just afraid to know. Either way, we arrived. Since it was our first time, I signed in on a sheet and signed some stuff. In the waiting room there was nobody else except for a younger girl, middle aged woman, and an older woman (I know, it seems like I run into a lot of them these days). She wasn't the crazy kind though. She was very pleasant, waiting to see her son. I talked to her a bit, she was reluctant to divulge anything about her son, but it was a nice talk. I saw a younger girl dressed inappropriately get her ass kicked out, to which the old woman could sympathize. They kicked her out last time.
It was eventually our turn, and we went in. There he was, behind plexiglass. He was a small unintimidating man, quiet looking, hunched over in his chair. He smiled when he saw Erika, it was completely creepy though. It felt completely odd seeing this guy, Erika's father. It didn't feel like he was that all. "Hi there, it's been a long time since you've seen me." His voice was almost silent, hard to hear. I noticed that Erika was acting funny. "Don't you want to talk to me?" She looked like she was trying to write something, but she couldn't. Her pen was going all over the paper but not writing anything. There was a long pause. "Do you think daddy is a bad person? You know it wouldn't have happened if mommy didn't make daddy mad." At this point I had heard enough, Erika was freaking out. That comment he made freaked me out too. "What's the notebook for?" That was the last thing he said before we just walked out. I held her, she looked like she was having some sort of panic attack. "Shhh, it's okay, he's not in the room anymore." She was trembling, I didn't expect her to react so badly. She was crying, I dried her tears a bit and we left. After a bit in the car, she wrote something for me. "I'm sorry." "Why?" "I made you drive out here, I couldn't talk to him." "It's okay." I was still mulling over those comments he made in my mind. "...if mommy wouldn't make daddy mad." Didn't want to think about what that implied. And "what's the notebook for?" That seemed to implied she wasn't always mute.
But, I did have a little surprise for her. Our adoption hearing was today. Now, for those of you who haven't adopted a child, the final step in adoption is appearing before a judge. He interviews you for 30-60 minutes, and then signs a paper which officially establishes the family unit as legitimate. The judge was sort of intimidating, but Sharon was there. Somebody from CPS had to show up, and it was her. The judge started off with some preliminary stuff, but eventually just asked me. "Why do you want to adopt this child?" I smiled, one of those smiles where you know you're about to ramble on like an idiot but you don't care because everything is just so wonderful. "Well, I'm young, some people think that makes me irresponsible. I don't have tons of money, or nice car, or anything like that. But nobody loves her as much as I do." *applause* Erika was smiling, hugging me, it was a great moment. The judge started to speak again. "Well personally I'm vehemently against giving a child to somebody so young..." ;_; "...but I've heard good enough things about you, so I'm signing your adoption order. Congratulations." With a few strokes of the pen, it's official. She's my daughter, legally! It was absolutely wonderful. Driving home, I felt like telling everyone. I stopped when we got by Luke's apartment building even to tell him. He was there at the beginning. There I saw Cheryl. "You looking for some?" "Eh, some what?" In being so elated about the good news, I was completely confused about what she meant. "Yeah, I fucked fatty, do you want some too?" "Whaat..." And then it hit me. The conversation I had with Luke on the phone all came back to me. Instead of continuing this and ruining my happiness, I rushed back to my car and drove away and left hagwoman in my dust.
So yeah, she's mine completely. CPS is finally off my back, ri--.... wrong! CPS offers a multitude of post-adoption "services", including support groups, phone services, etc. Which basically means "we're still watching you like nigras watch the KFC sign to see when it changes to 'open'". But either way, she's definitely mine. She's upstairs now, wrapped up like a little egg in a bunch of blankets since it's freezing here. Nobody can take her from me now.
Thread 56 (12/13/07)
Hullo /b/, blindmuteloli guy here. Today's thread isn't very pleasant sadly. Now if you remember the last thread, you know we went to visit Erika's father. That was, as I said, creepy as hell. He did question her notebook that she had with her though, which made me wonder. I decided to consult a medical person about the matter, and since I couldn't get a real doctor I had to settle for a psychiatrist. I decided to go alone, I didn't really intend to be there a while. I just wanted some sort of opinion. I was able to get an appointment with this guy pretty easily, and I settled in the waiting room to do what waiting people do. Eventually, I was called in. He introduced himself, as did I, and I asked him if he had any experience in dealing with mute people. "Ah, but you're not mute. "I understand that but..." and then I told him about Erika, and gave him a brief description of what happened in my life recently. I was just wondering what you all were, that is if she's born mute or if she could be mute from some psychological trauma. After I finish telling him, he asks me if I'm sure Erika is real. "Yeah, why?" He gives me a raised eyebrow. "Do you ever see anything unusual?" "Like what?" "Things that aren't really there?" "What? How does this relate to my problem?" Eventually after a bit more back and forth, he offered to prescribe something. That's when I left thinking what the fuck. I didn't have too much faith in this guy, but I didn't know that he'd think that Erika was some sort of schizophrenic hallucination of mine. As I left, I could hear him saying "that guy was nuts!" in the background.
Footnote: I, the actual OP Jake, have been banned from 4chan for quite sometime. I've been having people post the threads on 4chan for me for a while, so this is the first one in a while I'm actually posting myself. Damn you thread made by mootle, damn you to hell. All the threads have been written by me though, so don't worry.
Maybe I sound crazy when I talk. After that, I went to go pick Erika up from Jim's place, and since that guy's office was pretty close still I decided to go back. I did have to pay for that little "session" with him. I came back, and had Erika write "you're nuts" for him. He seemed genuinely shocked. "Oh, she does exist?" "Yes." "Why didn't you bring her in the first place?" And then he laughed. "So she can't speak?" "Yeah, isn't it obvious?" "I see. Well then she might be mute due to some trauma..." and he went and explained everything I thought. But then he added: "I could maybe prescribe some Prozac to help her anxiety." "No thanks." Well, Dr. Sellmepills PhD agrees with what I thought all along. On the way home, Erika was in a bad mood, crossing her arms in her seat. When we got home, I asked her if anything was the matter.
"That guy was a liar." "Well he was a bit nutty himself." "He said I don't talk because I don't want to. That's not true." "Well, he didn't necessarily mean it like that. All he meant is that sometimes people who talk sometimes have trouble getting words out. It happens to everybody, and sometimes they lose that ability all together. It doesn't mean that they don't want to, all it means is that their voice isn't really broken." I was trying to explain it, something about even though mute people who don't talk may want to, but subconsciously not allow themselves to. Selective mutism is the term, although Erika isn't technically selectively mute since she never talks, she is for the same reason though so I guess she's just at the extreme end of the spectrum. Eventually she started telling me about her father. From what she told me, he wasn't a nice guy. Apparently the reason he ended up in jail is because he used to beat Erika's mom. And by beat, I mean pretty severely. The woman is dead after all, though I don't know specifically if he beat her to death. Imagine how horrifying that would be, if you're blind in the first place, you can't see anything, and all you hear is your mom screaming and your dad beating her up and kicking her around. I don't know if he ever beat Erika, but he's definitely not a nice guy. Soon enough Erika started getting upset as she usually does when she talks about them, so we stopped and I put her to bed. I guess this means there's a chance she can talk, I don't know if it would be any time soon though. On another note, I learned from the internuts that Prozac is used to treat mute children. But, it often leads to more depression, suicide, and, oddly enough, damage to the parts of the brain taht are supposed to help produce language.
Thread 57 12/26/07
A nappy headed ho ho ho to you, /b/. The Blindmute Loli guy is here with (the day after) Christmas tidings (and actually it's two days after as the clock just struck twelve). To start off the Christmas festivities, Erika and I left for my parents' house last Friday to spend some time there.
The car trip was long as usual, but it was just Erika and me (and if anybody complains saying it should be "Erika and I" I'll go into a grammar rant). We saw a guy dressed up as Santa Claus at a rest area. I wasn't exactly sure if Erika still believed in Santa, but by asking you sort of give it away. I don't know if I approve of people systematically lying to their kids, but if the lie is already ingrained in her I couldn't crush her 8 year old spirit. I took her into the male restroom with me since she wouldn't be able to get around the female one. We walked in and a guy at a urinal sort of jumped and pissed on himself. We both finished anyway, and I was staring at Santa (who was smoking) on our way out. He seemed to be a bit pissed by this, and gave me a snide comment. "What are you looking at fagboy? I may have to wear the fucking costume but at least I don't look like a goddamn elf." Erika tried to kick him, but she was actually facing the opposite direction. As he was laughing at this ill-fated attempt, I turned her around and she did it again. You'd be surprised how much small feet can hurt when they go in the testicles. As Santa recovered, we crept away. We arrived, and when we walked in the door we found an odd sight. My parents and sister were in odd colorful garments huddled around candles. They said they have disavowed Christmas and were going to celebrate the struggles and achievements of African culture with Kwanzaa.
Did you know there's 7 principles to Kwanzaa? There's umoja (unity). Which means something like if there's a black man on one side of the street and a white man on the other you should walk on the side with the black man. There's Kujihchahcjchagula (Self-determination). It means even if you shoot whitey, you're not done yet. Shoot him again to make sure he's dead and then rape his wife. There's ujima (collective responsibility). If a black man is being chased by the evil white ass policeman, lend him your bullets.
Okay I'm done with that. In actuality it was decorated like Frosty the snowman threw up all over the inside of our house. I'm no scrooge, but there was Christmas fucking everywhere. You couldn't use the bathroom without having to sit down on a Christmas themed toilet seat cover. I might be a scat fetishist (but keep it under your hat), but I want to shit in Mrs. Claus's mouth, not Santa. Vulgar Christmas-bashing aside, my parents as usual overzealously greeted Erika, leaving me with nothing. And before you know it, my mom whisked herself off into the other room and then back with two present boxes. I already knew exactly what was in them, but Erika was sadly hopeful that something worthy might be in the box. We both opened them up, and inside were two very ugly Christmas sweaters. We both put them on, and Erika seemed to enjoy them (because she couldn't actually see them) because my mother was giving her so much praise in it. My sister came down, and she didn't have one on. "Why doesn't she have to wear one?" "You know teens these days, they just want to look 'cool'." "Maybe I want to look cool." And she let out a big laugh as if that was a ridiculous proposition.
"So, do you have any real presents?" "Not now, be patient. Jake is always so impatient, isn't he Erika?" And then she nodded. "Who's side are you on?" Dinner was ready, and it had been a long trip, so we were both hungry. My dad tried to pick Erika up, and we heard a bit of a crack. "You okay dad?" "That kid's bigger than Ithought." Erika was offended at this comment about her weight, but upon reminding her of Luke she was relieved. The good thing about weight is that there's always somebody fatter than you.
We ate, and it was already getting late. My parents retired to their bedroom, but Erika and I weren't ready yet. Wanting to find something to do, we pulled out the one thing guaranteed to put everybody to sleep: Monopoly. My sister played with us too since you can't really play it with only two people. All Erika could really do is roll the dice and hope that we weren't cheating her out of anything (which we didn't). As expected, we didn't finish it, and by the time we were done we were ready to go to sleep. I fell asleep, but was soon awoken. In the doorway I saw my sister, in nothing but her underwear. "Hey there Jakey, want a real Christmas present?" She pounced on me like a tiger, and began lightly stroking my crotch. And then I woke up, and my sheets and pants were sticky. Years later when I want to get a good job or run for president somebody's going to pull those last three sentences up and use them against me. I actually did have a dream once though where I came cookie dough that formed little gingerbread men and they.... well, that's off-topic.
Getting back on track, I woke up the next day (I guess that's obvious though), and Erika was already awake. I found her in the living room laying on her face. I was worried at first that she tumbled completely down the stairs, but as it turns out she just fell off the little step that's there. There's an actual set of stairs, which pretty much most stairs are relatively the same so she could get down them fine. What she forget was the one little step thing that was beyond that. She was fine though, apparently she just decided to stay there. During the day I got the presents that I bought from out of the trunk of the car and put them under the tree, except for a few. These were the "Santa" presents.
The days passed until Christmas, and we spent them doing the usual family stuff. My sister was always off running around with another boy (I know, I should've kicked all of their asses). Erika asked me if I thought she'd have that many boyfriends when she was my sister's age. "Fuck no."
And soon Christmas Eve approached. Now I had it all planned out. I was going to sneak down at night as Santa and put the gifts under the tree. Nothing fancy, no costume or bells or shit like that. As much as I tried to prod her upstairs, Erika fell asleep on the couch. This wouldn't be a hinderance though, I would just have to be a bit quieter as I snooped downstairs. Snoop I did, lightly going down the stairs. The things creaked everytime I stepped on one, so I had to be careful. As I got down the last step though, walking off of it I was hit right in the face. I could tell that it was a notebook that had smacked me, so I knew exactly who it was. It didn't hurt, but blocked my vision so I fell off the same little step she did. Hearing the thud, she jumped right on top of my back. Trying to capture Santa, was she? I suppose all kids try to at least once. Well maybe not assault him like Erika was, but see him. I looked back, and she presented me with a notebook page with writing on it. I could tell she probably prepared it during the day, and probably thought her whole plan out. Her being asleep was fake apparently. Anyway, the notebook said in large letters "Are you Santa?". It was hard to read in the dim light, but I managed. I tried to put on a deeper Santa voice and said "Why yes little girl." She got off of me at this, and I went to under the tree. I couldn't see, so I flipped on the light switch. Then I realized we made some cookies earlier to leave for Santa. "Where are my cookies little girl?" She looked sort of embarassed, before writing "I was hungry." I finished, and realized I needed to make an exit. "Err... ho ho ho and merry Christmas." I went back up the stairs (which was a stupid action for somebody supposed to be playing Santa to do), and Erika stopped me one last time. "Goodnight Jake." Mission failed, as I hung my head in shame and went back up the stairs.
Looking back on it, I don't think she believed in Santa, I think she just wanted to catch me. If she was looking for Santa, she would've been by the fireplace. It was Christmas day though, time to open up the presents.
My parents got Erika a lot of cute clothes, and a book on sign language. I actually went with that same idea, and got her some informational materials on moon type (which is like braille, but uses a different system) and a new mp3 player since her old one was destroyed. I decided I wouldn't lick the shit out of Steve Jobs's ass this time though and didn't get an iPod. I got my sister some clothes (and I took a little jab at her by wrapping up some socks that I got her in a condom box). My parents didn't find it funny at all. They did a look like, "...Oh god we know it's true, don't rub it in." I got my mom a foot massager thing, and my dad some DVDs. I myself got some games for my Wii from my parents. Erika had nothing for me, but said she'd model her new clothes for me. She looked extremely cute in them (but when doesn't she, she even looked cute in that ugly sweater), and she gave me a kiss for being a good Santa.
We had to leave though to get back home. My parents gave Erika a last hug (and a few more, with me being left out), and we were off. There were no Santa cosplayers to be seen on the way home. Walking in the door, I heard it. "Oh look it's the Christmas asshole." I could recognize that grainy smoky grinding want to shoot myself with a shotgun come back to life and throw myself off of a bridge voice: it was the landlord's ex-wife AGAIN. I thought at that moment "WHY DOES THIS WOMAN KEEP STALKING ME?". She was accompanied by Gloria too, who apparently must live in the area. Apparently Melinda had invited all of her relatives to come on Christmas. How the two old women got in, I didn't know. Melinda informed me. "Well Cheryl and Gloria showed up and I couldn't just turn them away..." Fuck fuck fuck. I also ran into Melinda's other relatives, who were pretty southern. Now in Ohio you can run into some pretty southerny people, but these were authentic church every Sunday the Civil War isn't over southerners. I met Angela's (Melinda's niece if you need a reminder) mother, who was fatter than I expected. Way fatter. This woman was HUGE. She had to take breaths in between words when she spoke a lot, it was crazy. "Angela said you were very nice to her, and pretty cute... I agree." And then she licked her lips, I swear to god she licked her lips and gave me eyes like she wanted to serve me up on a plate with some barbecue sauce. At this point I lamented. I'm so popular among fat women, elderly women, and other undesirable partners but can't get a gf to save my balls. Getting away from her, I sat down next to Gloria who looked as absent minded and drugged up as usual. "Jake, do you know how they have Santas at the mall?" "Uh yeah." "Do you think the Santas ever push the children off and hurt them?" "I would hope not." "Do you believe in Santa Jake?" "Well no..." "I do, I saw him coming down my chimney." "Is that so..." "He had elves and reindeer and..." and she continued ranting as I walked away. Walking up the steps to see my room, I passed by Luke. I bet Cheryl dragged him along. He once again didn't meet my gaze. As I climbed up the steps I could hear the shrill cry of "Fatass get me a beer!" Going into my room, two little kids began screaming at me. One of them threw my Wiimote right at my face. I assumed they were relatives of Melinda's. Seeing as they all looked like they came from a bible belt area, I was going to give them a scare. Nobody throws my Wiimote and gets away with it. "Who are you?" they asked me so innocently. "I am Satan. You have been terrible children and I'm coming to drag you to hell." And then I raised my hands ominously and yelled "FEEL THE RAGE OF THE FLAMES OF HELL!". They began screaming down the stairs and began bawling. I laughed a bit, but realized that fat middle-aged women are the type who raise hell over these sorts of these things. I went down the stairs, and Erika was sitting on the couch.
Walking further, I was greeted by a raging woman. "What are you saying to my kids?" "Just a little joke..." "Do you think Jesus is a joke!? He died for you!" Melinda pulled me aside. "Jake, be nice!" "Your relatives are a bit off..." "I know, she's been bugging me about church the whole time she's been here!" Going back into the kitchen, I decided to see what other relatives were around. There was a large man asleep in a chair, his hat over his face. I waved my hand in front of him, and to my surprise he grabbed it almost instantly. It was creepy, like some Resident Evil shit. He squeezed it a bit, and then let go of it. Without removing the hat, he said "You the boy trying to fuck my daughter?" "Melinda? No, not at a--" "Boy you betta make sure nothing happens. Boy I tell you if you try to do anything to my baby girl that hand aint the only thing I'll be squeezing I tell you now boy I'll pop that nasty ass thing off right now you undastand me?" "Uh... yes sir." I went back to Melinda. "Who the fuck was that?" "That's my dad, he wasn't too happy when I told him we were living together." "Did you give him the wrong idea?" "No!" Cheryl put her arm around me. "You don't have anything to worry about this boy is my sex machine." ;_; And they say men don't get sexually harassed. Gloria chimed in rather excitedly, "Sex machine!?" I think she was imagining a different kind of sex machine. Well I couldn't deal with the crazies in the kitchen, so I went back into the other room only to find Melinda's sister lecturing Erika on God. "What are you doing?" "I don't want this girl to have a heathen upbringing." "Ma'am you need to stop worrying about preaching and start worrying about jogging to church." And then I heard Melinda's dad again, who seems to have some creepy omniscience that allows him to hear and see everything. "Boy you messing with my other baby girl? Boy I tell you what you give her lip you won't come home with a face you undastanding me boy?" Luckily all of the craziness was broken by the fact that dinner was ready, and since Erika and I hadn't eaten we decided to. Angela and Erika both sat next to me, trying to get as close as possible. The two younger relatives made a mess of everything. Stupidly I asked where Melinda's mom was. They all looked at me like I have killed their pet dog. "She's in heaven with the good lord now," said Melinda's sister. "Boy I tell you she could cook up good back in her day." "Well Melinda this is a good meal too, you're a good cook when you do it," I said, trying to be complimentary. Melinda's dad still looked at me with burning disapproval (and he finally had his hat off, revealing his eyes fixated upon me). "Boy I'm about to give you a double order of shut the hell up." I don't even know what I said! Maybe he perceived some sexual innuendo. Cheryl had to come in with one of her insults, which are almost so expected now that they're not really amusing. "My husband served in 'Nam and he was in a POW camp, I bet he got better food than this shit." And I'm pretty damn sure my landlord never served in 'Nam either.
Melinda's sister was pissed though. "You don't have to eat it then!" She then promptly declared that dinner was over, and began collecting the plates. I wasn't actually finished, which I expressed but she didn't seem to care. Erika was pissed that her plate was taken away, she gave Melinda's sister a kick in the rear. "Did that child just kick me!?" Erika grabbed around like she wanted her notebook, and I promptly retrieved it from a nearly table for her. "It's not my fault your ass is so big!" Ah, just what I was hoping. Melinda's sister went to smack Erika, but I grabbed her hand. "Hey, don't touch my daughter." Melinda's dad got up out of his chair. "Oh boy it's on now you touch my baby girl you gonna get an ass-whoopin'!" The younger relatives, apparently caught up in the excitement, began throwing Melinda's plates around. Cheryl was laughing her head off at the turmoil she started so much that I thought her dentures were going to fall out. Melinda's dad put up his fists and ordered me to do the same. "C'mon boy put em up Imma send you to the moon and back boy." "I'm not going to fight an ol--" but before I could finish my sentence, he actually punched me. It didn't hurt too bad, but I couldn't retaliate, because it's not nice to hit the elderly. Gloria began to get into it. "Get the lamp Jake!" "Luke told you the lamp sto--?" but before I could finish that sentence he hit me again. Alright, now I was getting pissed off. But before I could launch a retaliatory attack, Melinda slammed her fist against the wall. It was the moment that breaks up all the turmoil and leaves everybody standing at attention. And she was pissed. "I want you all to shut the fuck up, I want you all to clean this kitchen the fuck up, and then I want you all to fucking leave." This wasn't yelling, this was this burning angry voice. And we all stopped, and did as she was told. We all cleaned up, forgetting what we were quarreling about for the moment. And after we cleaned up, they prepared to leave without saying goodbye to Melinda who was upstairs. I tried to make nice with her father as he walked out the door. "No hard feelings sir?" "Boy, you ever heard the term shotgun wedding? You take out the wedding and that's the kind of relationship we have." Angela wanted to say goodbye to me, but she was scuttled out the door quickly by her mother who gave me a dirty look. She began to say something in the doorway but I just slammed the door in her face.
A few moments later, Gloria asked, "Is the fight over?" with an excited face like she wanted more action. "Yes, he's gone. You two should go home." Cheryl yelled for Luke, who jumped up. As he passed me, he gave me a gift. "Jake...I uuh... got you, you know..." and he hurried off but I stopped him. "Thanks. Merry Christmas Luke." He actually smiled at me a bit. "Merry Christmas." That guy's not all bad. Once everybody was gone, I went up to go apologize to Melinda but luckily she wasn't mad at me. "I'm mad at my crazy ass relatives. Did my dad hurt you?" "Nah, I'm fine. Don't worry, I'll beat up plenty of Erika's boyfriends too." And then there was that awkward silence, I had said something odd. "Boyfriend", implying the same relationship between us. But no, this wasn't where we admitted our true feelings for each other and all that shit. I left, and Erika had me do some sign language with her. Eventually she fell asleep on me with the book still open. I poked my nose a bit, it still sort of hurt when I touched it. But I looked down at sleeping Erika in my arms. This was a damn good Christmas.