Alex Jones Greentext

Anon's INFOWARS job interview with Alex Jones

Jun 2017

>Nine months ago
>Out of college with a degree in journalism
>Yeah, I know, a degree in journalism
>Looking for jobs near my home in Austin, TX
>Apply to various small newspapers
>Even The Statesman, the biggest newspaper in the city
>No go
>One day, I get an email from a girl named Mystee who says she works for the Genesis Communications Network and knows I’ve been looking for some sort of reporting/editorial job
>I answer yes, and schedule an interview at the given address for that coming Thursday
>That day, I get in my car and drive to the address
>But it’s not an office
>It’s a barbecue restaurant
>Stiles Switch BBQ, good place
>I freak out, recheck my GPS, the email
>It’s definitely this address
>Befuddled, I go in, tell the guy at the waiting desk I’m here for an interview with someone from GCN
>Oh, thank god you’re here
>He leads me way, way back towards the opposite wall
>And there
>In a booth
>Is Alex Jones
>I obviously know who Alex is, so I’m sort of freaking out
>He smiles, stands up, gives me a hug
>This dude hasn’t even seen my resume
>”You ready to fight the good fight, bro?”
>I tell him I’m interested in working in Austin’s journalistic community
>I try to stay far, far away from telling him I want to work for him or his BS site
>He orders us both brisket platters
>”You know, I think you’ve got the mug of an info warrior”
>I just sort of nod, sip on my Sprite
>He asks me all sorts of weird shit - if I’ve ever worked for the government, if I’m gay
>Every two-three questions, he fist bumps me
>”Let me tell you something, Jason, I do put one hundred and ten percent into this fight”
>My name’s not Jason
>Finally, our meals get here
>”Thanks sweetie - we’ll take that in a to-go container”
>I ask Alex where we’re going - I’d imagine his main office, right?
>”I know you said you’d give your life for this fight”
>”So let me show you the true enemy”
>Alex asks if we can store the food in his car
>I tell him sure, but I don’t have any way to keep it from spoiling
>He tells me there are preservatives on ‘the front lines’ to keep them edible
>We start walking down the street
>And walking
>And walking
>It’s like 5 PM, we’ve been walking in silence for near an hour and a half
>I could just say fuck it and leave
>But I also really need a job
>My parents have threatened to kick me out if I don’t find one soon
>So, I trek on
>Finally, Alex just stops alongside a major highway
>”And now…we wait”
>So we do
>For another half an hour
>Finally, a large black van pulls alongside the side of the road
>Alex hops in the passenger seat without saying a word to me
>He pokes his head out the window
>Looks at me
>So I hop in too
>The van keeps going for maybe forty minutes into a small-ass town called Niederwald
>Alex keeps muttering to the driver, a young black guy with glasses, about how scared he is for his family
>Niederwald seems to be mostly grass and the occasional house
>Alex peeks behind to look at me
>”Jason, I read that you consider a major skill to be head-on tackling a problem.”
>That sentence seems astoundingly stupid to me, but I just nod and say “Yeah, definitely”
>Finally, we pull into a dirt road and keep going for maybe twenty minutes
>I’m pretty sweaty, tired
>Chilling with Alex Jones in a black van
>Finally, we stop next to an old bridge
>We climb out, Alex and I, and the van just…drives off
>What the fuck
>”Jason, come help me out here”
>He’s standing over a weird metal hatch, like in Lost
>If you’ve ever seen that show
>I help him open it
>It’s pretty heavy, obviously hasn’t been opened in a long time
>”I bet this is the craziest first day of work you’ve ever had”
>First day of work? The fuck?
>Then, Alex hops down into the opening of this hatch
>I decide to follow suit, if only because it’s getting dark
>I figure Alex is too famous to just murder me out here
>The tunnels are dark, so I use my phone as a flashlight
>And I
>Alex Jones
>I wander around for a long-ass time, and these tunnels just sort of lead into empty metal rooms
>Every once in a while I’ll hear a ‘clang’ and I’ll shout out ‘Alex?’
>Alex never did introduce himself to me by name
>I guess he just assumes everyone knows who he is
>Finally, I come across a room with this weird, fuzzy insolation on the walls
>And standing there is Alex Jones
>Alex, as I’m sure you all know, is totally insane
>Talks about how this place was tunnel system for an inter dimensional vampire society
>Says this room is where they ‘siphoned energy’
>What the fuck?
>He tears down some of this insolation
>Asks me to help him
>So, I do
>Who was that black dude driving the van?
>Finally, we get it all down
>And there, in front of us, is an elevator
>At this point, I’m visibly shaken
>It’s an old-time elevator, the kind where the door is sort of open, it doesn’t completely cover the front
>Alex grabs my shoulder
>”Look Jason, I know you’re scared bro, but you said you wanted to be an info warrior”
>I never said that
>He tells me most of his ‘on site’ employees go down to…wherever this place is
>”You will face your own personal demon, but I need you to think of it as a spiritual experience, Jason”
>Yeah, okay
>”I’ll be with you every step of the way, buddy”
>Oh god, please no
>He steps into the elevator and pulls something
>I get into
>And we descend into pure darkness
>Then, a very loud CLANG
>We’ve ‘landed’ so to speak
>Alex and I both use our phones as light, but I’m getting no signal
>And on the walls
>I have never seen so much blood
>I let out a scream
>”Don’t worry, that’s not blood.”
>Oh, okay
>”It’s this weird, semen-like substance the vampires used to create a message to their dark lord”
>Yeah, much better
>Whatever it is, it’s all over the walls in this weird rune language
>Alex tells me they generally act as prayers to the Satanic lords of the inter dimensional vampires
>It’s really dark and hard to see
>Finally we get to a door
>”Okay, Jason, this is the one room where they remain”
>The fuck?
>I could run right now, but I don’t know how to work the elevator and I’m not sure I’d make it through those tunnels
>I know Alex is fucking crazy, so who knows what’s really beyond the door
>”It will - I mean this - it WILL take the form of your own personal demon”
>That doesn’t reassure me
>I open this weird metal door
>And I shut it behind me
>Suddenly, I feel a rock hard penis on my ass
>"You ready for this, Jason?"
>My name's not Jason
>As I guessed, it was Alex's cock
>"Are you gay? It's a simple yes or no question."
>I say yes
>IP #5 to enter the thread
>So, I’ll try my best to describe the room to you
>It’s sort of like a classroom
>But no seats, just a big desk in the front
>And a projector
>Some weird, creepy-ass objects on the floor
>A rattle, a teddy bear, some old comic books
>And a journal
>I pick it up
>Star reading it
>Well, shit
>It’s from a young Alex Jones
>Young Alex was apparently ‘taken here’ for a dentist appointment
>Left in this room to ‘watch the reports’ and ‘receive treatment’
>I put the journal down
>Look around the room, see nothing
>Then, suddenly, the lights turn on
>And so does the projector
>An older, professor-looking dude appears on the screen
>He starts talking about the ’Doronas Procedures’
>I don’t speak conspiracy theorist - not that it’s much of a conspiracy for me at this point
>It seems as though some mason-like group was ‘chemically tracing’ wealthy Texan families and recruiting kids
>The kids were taught like in school, but also received chemical treatments and ‘psi-op conditioning’ to make them harder to kill or otherwise manipulate
>This video lasts maybe forty-five minutes, detailing the ‘enemies’ that these kids would face when they were older
>Very weird, creepy shit
>Then, when it’s over, the lights shut off
>I run to the door, banging screaming
>I am freaking out
>And, like that, it opens
>The lights are on in the hall now
>And Alex is standing by the elevator now, looking very somber
>”Do you see why I do this now?”
>I guess so.
>What do we do now?
>”Let’s go to the club, Jason.”
>So when we work our way up, the van is back
>We get in, drive to Austin
>Not a word is said
>And then, just like that, we arrive at Plush nightclub
>Alex jokes that he’s glad he’s divorced, so he can go to these places more often
>Me, Alex, and the black dude go in, the music is super loud dance music
>Alex, I suppose, knows the guy at the door, because we all get in no problem
>I go to the bar, get drinks, can’t find Alex
>I find myself drinking quite a lot
>Then, suddenly, a beautiful woman approaches me
>She says Alex wants to talk to me upstairs
>I go inside some office, Alex and the black dude are there
>I don’t know his name, should probably stop calling him black dude
>But anyway, Alex grabs my arm and says
>”Jason, what if I told you this was a globalist haven and ninety percent of those people down there want to eat you alive and then eat your family?”
>I want to tell him he’s crazy
>But I don’t
>Alex tells me to find the most beautiful looking woman down on the dance floor and whisper in her ear the word ‘sensational’
>I could have just walked out, but fuck it, I’m intrigued and it’s Alex fucking Jones
>He was on Joe Rogan
>I get on the dance floor, sort of buzzed, and I find a hot looking babe with blonde hair, cute bangs
>We dance for a bit before I whisper in her ear ‘sensational’
>She looks like I just stroked her G-spot
>I head back to the office, and she follows
>I head in, no one is there
>Just me..and her
>Then suddenly she throws over the desk
>And the lamps
>She is trashing this place
>What the fuck?
>”I’m checking this place for bugs. Fucking socialists”
>When she’s done, she grabs me by the shirt and starts making out with me
>Oh, shit
>Then, all of the sudden
>She spits two green balls into my mouth
>No fucking way
>I spit those things back out
>They look like slimy Tennis balls
>She looks like I just killed her babies
>”You do not accept the gifts of the fallen?”
>She screams at me, almost in gibberish
>The slime balls at my feet are sort of evaporating
>This chick starts crying
>What the fuck?
>She starts clawing at me and shit
>More screaming
>Then, she just slams the door and leaves
>Alex emerges from the closet
>What the fuck?
>He was in the closet?
>Where’d the black guy go?
>”Jason what you said to her was a demonic mating ritual codeword”
>Yeah, makes perfect sense
>”You just killed two globalist arch-demons”
>I’m more amused than scared at this point
>”Which means, in about thirty seconds, this club is going down - HARD.”
>So, we speed - SPEED - down the street, away from this nightclub
>I’m still buzzed from my drinks
>Having a good time, even though I’m all tied up in this shit now
>Maybe working with Alex wouldn’t be so bad
>”So, uh, Jason, you ever heard of this idea of controlled opposition?”
>No, what is it?
>Alex starts chuckling
>He explains that sometimes you have to control your enemy to make them more understandable or something
>I wonder if Alex had anything to drink at the club
>He cranks up the volume on the radio as soon as ‘All Along the Watchtower’ starts playing
>The Hendrix version, that is
>We stop suddenly.
>And there, outside
>Is my grandmother's house
>Naturally, I am fucking upset
>Has Alex been stalking me?
>Or..or…my grandma?
>”Mike, look, I need you to relax a sec, buddy because Granny Goodness in there is not who you think she is.”
>What the fuck does that mean?
>My name’s not Mike, either
>Alex pulls out a laptop from under his seat
>Shows me a long list of files
>One is called ‘SupremeC1068.ifw’
>He opens it and it’s like the Matrix
>All these letters and numbers and shit
>”Mike, this is not a joke. You’ve been the victim of heavy conditioning. Do you know who Madeline Albright is?”
>”Look her up.”
>I google her name.
>She was…secretary of state under Clinton, I guess?
>I’m not a big politics guy
>And then, I hit the wikipedia page
>And on that screen is my grandmother
>Holy fucking shit
>Look, Alex, this looks just like her but -
>”No, Jason, it IS her, do you understand me?”
>Alex is getting heated
>How…how is that even possible?
>Alex tells me the globalists can suck souls and live forever
>This does really…really look like my grandma
>Alex tells me that Madeline, or well, Grandma, is going to use an upcoming election to get some ‘very, very’ bad people elected
>And this…somehow…will lead to an inter dimensional invasion that Alex was bred to destroy
>I think he might be high
>But this really, really, really looks like my grandma
>Okay, so…what do we do?
>”It’s simple, Ramsey…you ever seem Ghostbusters?”
>Alex pulls out a backpack
>His seat must have some TARDIS shit going on
>No, I’m not a Doctor Who fan, I just know what the TARDIS is
>But not Madeline Albright, so that shows you where my priorities are
>Anyway, Alex takes these pills/vitamin drops and shit and just fucking inhales them
>He’s taking so much of this shit, it can’t be healthy
>Then, he pulls out what looks like a smoke detector
>This is his plan:
>This device can detect ‘super souls’ and will switch their frequency so that they lower themselves to another dimension
>So why not use them at the people in the club?
>Alex won’t say
>So I’m supposed to go to my grandma’s house
>Who may or may not be Madeline Albright
>And use this on her
>Well…fuck it
>I tell Alex I’ll do it, if he can guarantee my a job and decent pay
>”Franklin, you know I will”
>He hugs me
>We hug for like…two minutes
>Then, I exit the van
>Walk across the street
>Ring the doorbell (it’s like 1 AM)
>And the door swings open
>Oh, Anon…you’re here so late!
>Yeah, uh sorry grandma, I just…I was drinking and needed a place to stay
>Shitty excuse, but better than the truth
>Well, come on in
>She sniffs
>Do you smell…anything, anon?
>Well…maybe it’s just my old nose
>She does this cute grandma laugh
>If Alex was fucking with me or some shit I will be pissed
>We sit at her coffee table
>She’s obviously very tired
>Suddenly, she looks at the device in my hand
>Oh…Anon…what is that
>I uh…
>Discreetly, I press the button on this thing
>Nothing happens
>Shit happens
>Suddenly, my grandma’s face starts like…dropping…?
>Like she’s having a stroke
>Oh shit!
>What the fuck have I done?
>Then, I swear to god, my grandma - or well, Albright
>Her head starts like screaming
>She screams my name in this demonic-ass voice
>She stars like…exploding
>First her arm
>Then her leg
>Shit, shit, shit
>The ground - starts shaking!
>What the fuck?
>In this demonic voice, I hear
>”You who must be bequeathed shall not become thine sanctimony!”
>I run the fuck out of there as my grandma starts to explode and her house begins to fall apart
>I fucking dash out of there like a cheetah
>Oh shit, oh shit!
>I make it outside
>I leap out of the yard
>And turn around just long enough to see my ‘grandma’s’ house envelop into a portal of pure light
>There’s nothing there now
>It’s like the house was never there at all
>The device is gone too - I must have dropped it
>Sweet jesus, I am scared
>But…I guess it’s all over now
>I run to the opposite side of the road
>But the van’s gone
>In it’s place are two white containers and a duffle bag
>In the bag are rolls of money
>I mean - really I could be set for life with this much
>Provided I lived simply
>The container next to it looks familiar
>I open it
>My brisket dinner, still piping hot
>Then, I notice one last thing
>A sticky note
>On the container
>I pick it up and read it
>”Thanks a lot, Anon. For everything.”

Alex Jones on the Joe Rogan Experience

I have come to present you with some shocking information I learned over my entire career, /boardname/. Please do not take lightly, I burned a lot of time and resources to come up with this.

The elite are all about transcendence, living forever and the secrets of the universe. They want you to know that some are good, some are bad, and some are a mix. But the good ones never want to organize, and the bad ones didn't want to organize because they lust after power. Powerful consciousnesses don't want dominate other people, they want to empower them so they don't intend to get together until things are really late in the game. Then they come together and evil is always defeated because good is so much stronger. So we're on this planet and Einstein's physics showed it, Max Planck's physics showed it all that there's at least 12 dimensions. Now there's all the top scientists and billionaires coming on and saying "It's a false hologram, it is artificial. The computers are scanning it and finding tension points where it's artificially projected and gravity's bleeding in to this universe." That's what they call dark matter. So we're like a thought or a dream that's a wisp on some computer program, some god's mind whatever. They're proving it all, and it's all coming out. Now, there's also this sub-transmission zone below the 3rd dimension. That's just turned over to the most horrible things that it resonates to. It's trying to get up into the 3rd dimension that's just a basic level consciousness to launch into the next levels. While our species is already up in the 5th or 6th dimension, our consciously best people. But there's this big war trying to basically destroy humanity because humanity has free will. And there's a decision to which level we want to go to. We have free will, so evil's allowed to come in and contend not just good. While the elite's themselves believe they're racing using human technology to try to take our best minds and build some type of breakaway civilization where they're going to merge with machines to transcend and breakaway from the failed species that is man. Which is like a false transmission because they're thinking that what they are is ugly and bad projecting them onto themselves instead of believing it's a human test about building us up. And so, Google was set up 19 years ago because, - I knew this before it was declassified I'm just saying this because I have good sources- they wanted to build a giant artificial system. Google believes that the first artificial intelligence will be a supercomputer based on the neuron activities of the hivemind of humanity, with billions of people wired into the internet of things. All of our thoughts go into it, and we're actually building a computer that has real neurons in real time that's also psychically connected to us that are organic creatures. So that they will have current prediction powers, future prediction powers, a Truther's cabal. But the big secret is: Once you have a crystal ball and know the future, you can add stimuli beforehand and make decisions that CONTROL the future. It's the end of consciousness and free will for individuals as we know it. A true 2.0 in a very bad way, hivemind consciousness with an AI jacked into everyone knowing our hopes and dreams, delivering it to us not in some PKD waterhead system where we plug in give up on consciousness not because of limited pleasure but because we're already wired in and absorbed before we knew it by giving over our consciousness to this system by our daily decisions that it was able to manipulate, control into a larger system. There's now a human counter-strike taking place to shut this off before it gets fully into place. To block these systems, and to try to have an actual debate about where humanity goes, and cut off the pedophiles and psychic vampires that are in control of this AI system, before humanity is destroyed. That's the big decision that humanity has now got before us.

>How'd the pedophiles get control of AI? The pedophiles in a whatever level- They rule. The devil whatever you want to call this interdimensional thing that gives them advanced off-world technology. The fallen one that's not of this world, Is giving them advanced knowledge on how to construct these systems that were being used before on other populations.

>What are you talking about? That's Satan.

>Explain. Well it's Satan because you know that stupid preacher tells you who's totally controlled or something you read about in the news, or TV. But this is an interdimensional force that wants to influence us to build something that absorbs us and kills us, rather than the divine free will we're given to build something much better that empowers them, the species. So the species is now making a decision about it's entire future.

>Where are you getting this? I know from looking at all the data, researching it, studying it, and watching the enemy.