Editing The Liliad/Liliad Thread 3

Hi guys I'm back.

Before I get down to writing let's try and see if there is actually anyone here waiting for this thread. 

Okay fuck it I am not replying to all those emails jesus christ people, you're going to have to stop caring so much about me. I'll write today's installment (probably two or three hours), answer some questions, and then email. BE PATIENT WITH ME. 

Alright

Last time, Lily and I finally consummated our relationship in a hotel room. There was a very, very long sex scene that most anons seemed to disappoint at. Then Lily was back to her country of residence and I was back to my basement to try and not have an aneurysm each time I remembered the feel of being inside her. Which is the best feel, let me tell you.

It was January, I finished high school in May, and then I had a couple months to try and make something happen before college began. Full cylinders on "DO IT, ANON" were initiated, and I buckled down to...do what needed to be done.

Which was, of course, getting the same internship as I had before. Puke. 

How obsessive people on /b/ get, this is why that UTC drama happened, I picked a random time zone to try and anonymize myself. Apparently I was successful yayyy.

Thanks for the compliments but we all know Taylor Swift is the greatest writer on /b/.
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You all know my father runs an import company. He rakes in the dough and never paid attention to his son, so it was approximately everything he wanted out of life. I was chill with it too. But having to go and work there again was a somewhat unpleasant thought, as it'd be basically confirming for him that I wanted to take over his company. While my lust/love for Lily was large and overwhelming, it wasn't quite to the point where it outweighed all considerations for my future. Kidding - it totally outweighed that. So when I brought up working between the two offices with my dad he flipped his lid, overjoyed that his son was in fact going to make something of himself. He agreed and we wrote up a basic description of my responsibilities. 

OH NO - there were so many. How was I going to sneak into Lily's bedroom with all these things to do? And the timing - just a couple months of work before I had to get back and get my ass into freshman orientation. It felt rushed and it was only February. I told Lily what I was planning and she was all for it, but I kept most those worries to myself. 

As mentioned at the end of part two, we kept talking and I tried not to focus purely on sex. I did okay at it but the idea of being able to have sex a second time - maybe even a third or a fourth! - was weighing pretty heavily on my mind. We may all pretend like dying a virgin doesn't bother us, when I was 15 I had decided that was the deal, but you have no idea what you're missing. I do not know how married people ever get out of bed (oh wait, because they are old, boring, and gross).

The torrent of hormones aside, I talked to Lily more about her own life. Being a half-Asian kid in a country full of people of yet another race was not an easy thing. I am not going to go full-tumblr on you and talk about white privilege and the guilt I felt about our conversations, but when she talked about the confusion of speaking Spanish with her friends, English with her father, and [censored] with her mother...it got to me. First, it reminded me that this girl was a genius and I was a shlub, second it made me feel like...I don't know, maybe I could be some sort of stability for her. So I tried to be that stability, 

Trying to be stability from thousands of miles away...well it was sort of stupid, but it meant being online at certain times. And after a while I decided to take a risky step forward and proposed that we could talk on the phone, as she had friends back in our city and maybe she could get some sort of a...budget from her parents. Lily agreed to ask and within days we were speaking on the phone, beginning a tradition of weekly phone calls (tradition #2 for those keeping track). hearing her voice...well, it was a lot better than just reading it on the screen. She coached me further in my Spanish, which is el shit to this day as I keep saying, and I reminded her that I loved her, that she was beautiful -- one particular time, from April or thereabouts, made me want to fly down and swoop her away. While racism isn't so prevalent down there as up here, there were still some kids who did not like this Asian girl among them and were calling her bad names in Spanish, then mocking her replies when they weren't fluent.

I hope you are as furious reading that as I was when I heard it. Absolute bullshit - those little shits were nowhere near as smart as Lily, nowhere near, and no one would love them the way I loved her - and, and... I swallowed that down, but did tell her I would come down and beat them up. She just had to say the word.

Her laugh wasn't very genuine, but she seemed to at least appreciate the thought. "I can handle them..."

But I didn't want her to handle them - I wanted to. And it was so stupid, like I would fly to her middle school and beat up some kids as I prepped to go to college. But that was what I wanted.

In analyzing my attraction to her, I started to wonder if perhaps I was just older physically than I was mentally? I felt like she was my peer, my equal - in many ways more mature than I was. 

It felt like I belonged in middle school alongside her, and if either of us belonged in college it was her. But that was dumb and I did not say it to her - no reason to tear myself down in her eyes...she liked who I was. A fact I had to remind myself of every time those doubts flew into my mind (they were constant).

Days dragged by and I was finally just a week away from her. I asked her if she was excited to see me, she said of course she was. I did a little dance of glee. I thought about having her in my arms, kissing her again, perhaps finding time for further... Only a few months without Lily felt like an age, and having her back was going to be the best reunion yet, I just knew it. 

And it was. They did not meet me at the airport this time around, perhaps Lily's father was able to see the future better than I and didn't want to welcome his eventual replacement into his arms. I very much wanted her arms around me, and mine around her, the moment I touched down in the country...but I figured another day was acceptable.

But it was difficult. Work was very busy, and her father wasn't treating me like a kid any more - no constant dinner invites or anything like that. Maybe having two girls of 'that age' had him standoffish, maybe he suspected something, maybe he just didn't like me any more...either way, I started to get desperate.

This time I was staying in a hotel for the entirety of the internship, a nice place that cost approximately $1/night due to poor country, and accidentally stumbling over to Lily's wasn't at all realistic.

Fuck fuck fuck what was I going to do? We talked online every now and then, her summer schedule had her out and about in the evening, doing some volunteering work or out with friends, no school in the morning keeping her in and thus talking to me. 

Fortunately my dumb mind didn't have to think alone, I had her working on the other side trying to come up with ways to see me. She knew I was staying out and 'on my own', and thus just getting to my place was all she really needed to do. We were much freer here than in the US, as her Spanish abilities were the best in the family (besides her sister, who as mentioned before was probably off having sex with Pablo Escobar). Checking up on her was difficult for her parents, and she was an excellent child who they didn't really feel the need to check up on anyway. Good thing her leering boyfriend knew all this and was willing to take advantage of it.

Well, we both took advantage of it. I don't want to be TOO cruel to her parents. They are great people and did their very best with their daughters, they couldn't help that one turned into a slut and the other one turned into Lolita. 

Before we get to Lily and I figuring things out let's take a quick detour down a path that hopefully you will identify with that left your OP really ashamed of himself. We all know we've done fucking stupid things in the name of love, or in the name of having a really good orgasm. Well. My boss, Lily's father, had family pictures in his office. And god help me if I didn't steal one of them at one point. It was a year old, Lily looked even younger as if that was possible. But it was her. We never sent pictures via the computer as I was scared of this causing us to be found out (how does AOL work I still don't know), so this was one of the few I had of her.

Anyway I don't think I need to tell you what I did with the picture but oh god why did I even decide to write this bit I am so ashamed of myself. 

Let's get back on track and away from that because my face is as red as moot's ass after he holds an "all-mod meeting".

Inventing a fake friend was way easier for Lily than I would have thought - hopefully it wasn't a regular thing? - but she informed me that I was now...we'll say Juanita. Like most people I have always dreamed of being a fiery Latina woman, or girl, so this was fine by me.

Our first meetup was going to be a brief evening encounter in town. The idea of other people seeing us, two obvious foreigners, didn't really occur to us until we were in person and it was too late. But at that point I did not care one iota, as seeing Lily... Seeing her in person, running to her and grabbing her and hugging her... That was all that mattered.

As we pulled away from the hug I did a quick once-over...her breasts were definitely larger, or maybe I had imagined them smaller, or maybe seeing them without a bra had made me more aware of their true size, or- Even though I am a lecherous creep I decided staring at Lily's boobs for more than a few seconds was not acceptable and moved up to her face.

"I have something to tell you."

Lily said this with a happy lilt in her voice, nothing that indicated to me that I should be worried. Of course I got worried anyway.

My eyes trailed back to her breasts and then down a bit further, to her stomach, which seemed slightly larger than before as well, perhaps my girl was growing up?

"I'm pregnant." 

Just kidding.

She actually told me that she missed me more than she thought was possible. I hugged her again, and then peeked around to make sure the local gestapo did not have their eyes on us, leaning down to plant a kiss on her. Yes - she was definitely taller, as I no longer had to fold myself in half to kiss her. Lily was growing up... and I was happy about it, fortunately that little jolt of happiness helped me confirm I was not a pedo probably (a daily struggle in my mind at that point).

We held hands and walked towards a little cafe, sitting together at a table, drinking coffee, looking at one another...drinking each other in. Simply staring at another person had never seemed at all appealing to me, but now it suddenly was. I tried to memorize every bit of her, from her wide, but distinctly Asian eyes to her small, pugged nose to her soft, large lips... Fuck. She was so gorgeous. I did the crossed-legs move to hide my god-tier erection. 

Unfortunately dragging her into some bushes and having my way with her was not an option, so I settled for reaching my foot out towards her leg and running it up and down. Such a stupid, romantic comedy move...but.. After a while I stopped, while we chatted about her day, about how we'd make future meetings happen, about how her family was, etc. When my foot went back to its place by my chair, she reached her own out, slipping off her sandal and placing her bare foot on my calf. I almost lost it in that moment, her dainty, small toes against my...well, scrawny, hairy leg. Phew. It felt very nice. It reminded me of what she felt like moving beneath me. It reminded me of how much I cared about her. It reminded me that I wasn't just obsessed with her, this wasn't a stupid one-way romance...she liked me too.

It was becoming less unthinkable but no less of a happy surprise. She liked me. Wow.

Her foot fell off my leg after a moment, and I almost let out a sad sigh. Others were probably looking, though I am unsure of the cultural attitude towards romances like ours...I saw men who looked older than me with girls who looked her age, so I hoped it was all alright. Or in hindsight I impute those emotions on myself, because in the moment I was too crazed to care about anyone or anything past the delightful, beautiful girl sitting across from me.

It ended all too soon.

I think that may have been our first real date. We kissed hello, got a drink, talked, flirted - and then when we got up to go, we kissed goodbye, me heading back to my nearby hotel, her taking a taxi (while I tried to tamp down images of her getting raped and murdered by a taxi driver). 

She told me that her and Juanita had a wonderful time together and her parents were very approving of her making a 'local' friend, as opposed to her mostly-expat group of friends. I continued to pretend to work hard while daydreaming about her.

The next part is obvious, and you guys said you weren't really into the sex so much, so I'm trying to figure out how to say it. Within a couple weeks Lily was coming to my hotel room. First we just kissed - that first evening we kissed, cuddled, and watched some television (while really watching each other). I didn't want to force the sex on her immediately, I was terrified of her thinking I saw her as my sex doll, or her seeing herself as such. But my erection pressed into her while we cuddled, and I know she noticed. I hungrily lapped at her mouth, her tongue, tasting that mild sweetness, that flavour that was all Lily, that no other girl could ever replicate.

My hands on her sides still felt so huge, like Mickey Mouse-sized as they practically wrapped around her.

Our favorite position was the one we had started with. I'd sit on a chair while she straddled my lap, pressing hard against me while my erection waved the white flag. She'd put her arms on my shoulders, sometimes clasping her hands together or holding my head. I had my hands on her sides, sliding down to her hips to hold her close. Our mouths stayed together as long as we could, each time we pulled away we'd just look into one another's eyes - and we'd always smile. Or she always smiled, I may have had a stupid glazed look a few times.

An hour of making out with Lily was better than I'd remembered. When she left I wanted to cry (after I jacked off a thousand times). 


As I was saying, we did not meet up every night. It wasn't feasible, but she definitely pushed how much her parents were willing to like Juanita.

It was the second time that I knew we were going to have sex again. I managed to not masturbate for a full day, though I should have called a doctor as my erection lasted for over fifteen hours as I looked forward to the evening.

She was coming over again for just a couple hours. The pregnancy joke above may have been hilarious, but I was actually kind of scared with what I knew, and thus condoms were present this time around.

Again - I am going to give you the softcore version as the hardcore version caused some people to disappoint.

We kissed at the door, on the bed, and our clothes came off. Her breasts were the same size, to my slight disappointment. 

One detail that the lighthearted can skip over: She'd shaved herself. I had no idea if this was because she thought I'd like it or what, but it scared me a little, made me think maybe she thought I was a complete pedo. But when a girl you love is standing before you completely naked...well...she looks good pretty much no matter what. I told her as much.

I put on a condom and this time around she wanted to be on top, mirroring our kissing position. She held me against herself, pressed her hips downwards, and began that same rocking motion that I had been in control of last time, though she seemed far less frantic than I to cram my penis inside of her. Maybe this was my big chance to figure out how to make a girl orgasm. I did not take advantage of the opportunity however. I held her hips in my hands but continued to let her take her time, working me in slightly further - that exact same feeling as before, the ring popping down around me, this time no further pressure inside as she slid downwards.

Okay oops I said I was going to be less hardcore.
So, uh, let me try and sum up the scene.

She maybe managed to rock against me for a solid fifteen seconds before I blew. A disappointment to all of you, I know, but hey I had been waiting a whole day. Ahem. She kept going despite this, likely choosing to ignore my cross-eyed slack-jawed expression. After a while it wasn't happening, while she was tight enough to hold me inside I was not hard enough to really provide anything for her to rub against. She pulled herself off and sat on my lap, a hand on my chest, and we lay for a moment before we began kissing again. This time was MUCH better, far less uncomfortable, no pain for her (presumably?), and...well...it was just better.

So that was how we decided to have sex from then on, decided the next time she came over. I picked her up and put her on the bed, making my intentions clear, and she giggled, agreeing to do it as long as she could be on top again. 

A dom loli willing to fuck me? YES PLEASE.

That was our schedule from that point forward. She'd come over once a week, sometimes twice, and we'd immediately tear into one another until I came, and then we'd cuddle and sometimes watch a movie or order room service or generally be two young people in love, one of whom had a company credit card (I got in trouble later, don't worry). 

This was the 'golden age' as far as our relationship went. I had no idea how it could get better than regularly having sex with someone who loved me... And while the sex was incredible, I had nothing to compare it to, so I wasn't exactly holding up her tightness/size up against my dozens of other partners. She was just Lily. 

And yeah - it was kind of annoying. Anons out there who are having/have had sex (you're out there don't be shy) will understand this one. I do not have a huge penis (GASP SHOCK) but even an average-sized guy is going to have a rough time trying to have sex with a girl of that age/immaturity. She was small, and always taking it slow was sort of a pain. I never got more than 2/3 inside of her before 'bottoming out'. At the time this was not an issue but looking back... Eh, I guess it came with the underage territory? Thus ends your Logistics of Lolita lecture, thanks for reading.

While we could just go with a montage of me pumping a gallon of sperm inside of Lily, I will go to one particular incident. She finally got her parents to allow her to have an overnight with Juanita (without them calling Juanita's parents, which had me 'wtf' like crazy). This meant an overnight with me, and I swore I was going to ensure Lily had an orgasm that night. We had enough time to figure it out. It could not be that complicated. It couldn't be.

She had some stubble this time around, guess the shaving had either been forgotten or earlier had just been a coincidence. I could feel it when I put my hand between her legs, rubbing slightly while we kissed. She pulled away, surprised. I told her that what we'd been doing up until then hadn't been too fair, though Lily (bless her) said she loved it just as much as I did. I said I wanted to try something new.

Not going to write 500 words on me fingering her. But that's what happened. She lay down while I nestled up next to her, one hand around her head, the other between her legs 

Anyway, yeah. Girls are very confusing down there and don't let your older brother or porn or some know-it-all anon tell you otherwise. I tried to figure her out, but mostly made her grimace when I went anywhere besides her vagina. Mystery: still not solved. After a while I was turned on as hell, and she was as wet as I figured she could get. That was the second time we went without a condom and the second time she let me be on top of her - I basically removed my hand and rolled onto her, there was no stopping it. All that prep work did its job, though I still had to go slow she definitely seemed more...accommodating to my jerking, stabbing motions against her. As usual, I lasted about five seconds before letting go inside her initially, whipping out and leaving the rest on her stomach. Not that it mattered after one went in, but at least I tried? Really I am unsure how stupid faggot underage B& OP did not get that girl pregnant - I guess we were lucky. Or maybe I'm sterile.

It was an overnight, so we both knew there was a lot more. We showered together, just like the first time, me soaping up her back, her butt, her breasts, her doing the same to me (except I don't have breasts I think).

We ate and drank (she asked if we could get wine, impressing me and probably herself) and watched a movie. Kissed more, lay together under the sheets, naked, arms around one another. We had sex again before we went to sleep, her on top, condom employed as it should have been initially. Then we actually got to fall asleep in one another's arms.

I don't know if you have the right amount of feels right now - it should be double the max amount you've ever had. I was in heaven. This was perfection. 

From the beginning I said this was a two-month work stint, and this was pretty much the end of it. We woke up in the morning and she went back home. The two of us met up one more time in my hotel, had sex one more time, and then on my second to last day we went on another proper date, this time with my head on a swivel, terrified of my co-workers spotting us. Or of anyone spotting us. But...Lily in a dress, a dark red piece that showed off her legs, her neck, a matching headband holding that perfect hair back from her face...well it was hard to stay nervous or look at anyone else with that vision of beauty in front of me. We had a meal and went to a movie and kissed.

We both knew that was going to be it.

On the street corner we wrapped around one another, our bodies entwined in full public view, kissing again and again, finally with great reluctance letting one another go.

"I'll see you next time. I promise."

But I was scared. I was going to college, she was turning 14, what would really happen to us in the coming year?

"Bye, Lily. I love you."
"Bye, Anon. I'll miss you so much."

This time I managed to hold the tears in check for the most part. But my heart still broke when I got on the plane. 

I was attending college within the US but still very far from my home, sort of a 'fuck you dad' on top of desiring to go to an excellent business program. Yeah, I was seeing my future and giving in to the one that my family had set up for me.

First semester freshman year. If you have not started college yet, be aware that that will be the worst period of your life. Tons of new 'friends', tons of confusing girls, really just a shitshow in every way. I tried to find a way to fit in. All I could think about most days was opening the door of my room and seeing Lily standing there. The feeling of her lips on mine. Her arms around me. Her body melding against mine. Her back arching as she pushed downwards onto me. Her face when she looked at me with total love. Those soft breasts in my hands. Just...her. Her everything. Lily.

We still talked at night, but not every night. I felt myself drifting as I tried to get into the social scene at college - and she encouraged me to make friends, she didn't want me to have a 'robot' be my only friend, as she referenced herself when we talked online (...hard to explain).

So I tried to make friends. I did make some. It was nice. 

The guilt started to sneak in.

One of my friends had a sister Lily's age. She looked so young and innocent. Her brother adored her and talked of her frequently, saying that some boy had liked her and he'd scared him off.

Others talked about getting laid with our peers, slutty sorority girls who were a pretty easy go. I looked at them and didn't see what I wanted...at that point I only wanted one person.

But I was feeling guilty.

I had had sex, secretly, with a girl who was barely more than a child. I had been talking to her since she was a child, had kissed her when she was still a child, had perhaps forced my emotions on her... I started to wonder how much of this I had created, how much Lily really cared, how much she COULD care at her age. I was just someone she needed to remind her of home, and in order not to lose me she did what I had wanted. The image of her face when I took her virginity...the fact that she didn't particularly care about pleasure past mine (or so it seemed)...the sneaking, the lying, the toll it must have took on her...

My guilt deepened and grew, a vast pit I could not escape from. It had been about three months since I'd seen her, solidly into the semester, and I was filled with regret. My daily shower masturbation (sorry guys who shared my shower) had slowed and then stopped, the fantasy of Lily bouncing on my lap suddenly losing its eroticness and taking on a sheen of...something bad. Something wrong. 

I had been a bad guy. I loved her, yeah, but who was I to say she even knew how to love? I had corrupted an innocent young girl. I was a fucking monster.

That was the final point I reached.

I was a monster.

I saw the news, I knew what happened to people like me. Sure, maybe our ages were kind of close, but not really. I was 18 and she was 13.

She talked about when we'd meet up next. Asked how I was in college. For the first time ever I felt myself closing up, not wanting to tell her everything. I was a shameful monster and someone as perfect as her should not be talking to someone like that.

I faded. Our communications began to slow. She started to seem frantic, just as I predicted, because I had -made- her feel those things for me. Lily started communicating with me constantly, scrabbling to find out what was wrong, meeting an emotional wall every time.

Before she turned 14, just before the semester ended, I told her it was over.
She was devastated. So was I. Though that's selfish - I cannot imagine how she felt, with me taking her everything and then finishing with her.

I told her what I thought - that I was not a good guy for what I'd done with her, that it was a mistake, that I loved her but it wasn't right and wouldn't be right. She said she loved me, she didn't care, it wasn't wrong... But my mind had been made up long before I had the conversation with her.

We broke up.

My heart was shattered. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. I saw the school therapist, for what little good that did, as I could not bring myself to confess what I'd done.

I had crossed so many lines.

Lily and I ceased communicating altogether. I felt so goddamn alone, only my college "buddies" to keep me company.

Time passed. My heart didn't heal, but I learned to ignore it. Learned to ignore the ache when my father spoke of his company, of the branch office, in my mind Lily and the branch office being practically the same thing. 

More time passed.

Freshman year ended.

Sophomore year ended.

I fucked a couple other girls when I was drunk. I was done after the second one, realizing no sex was like the sex I had had with Lily. Everything that reminded me of her - Spanish, Asian people, even hotels...I tried to stay away from them.

I'd fucked up her life permanently and it was only fair that mine was fucked as well.

The End
(?) 

So.... same time tomorrow? 

Or is it the end?

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The advantage of reading this is that you know it's not the end. Give yourself a day to anticipate, then go read the [[The liliad/Liliad Thread 4|next thread]]. Or just do it now. Up to you.
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	The advantage of reading this is that you know it's not the end. Give yourself a day to anticipate, then go read the [[The ~~Liliad~~/Liliad Thread 4\|next thread]]. Or just do it now. Up to you.		The advantage of reading this is that you know it's not the end. Give yourself a day to anticipate, then go read the [[The liliad/Liliad Thread 4\|next thread]]. Or just do it now. Up to you.