Editing Russian invasion of Ukraine

I want to be fucked by a minion

I’m a 45-year-old mom named Karen Chungus and I always wet my panties laughing at those funny pictures of minions on Facebook. I send them to my friends Susan and Deborah on Messenger and they always send back crying laughing emojis. Those adorable yellow little nuggets always turn me on when they say things like “a balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.” I read these and am instantly thrown into spasms of convulsing laughter and orgasm.

One day, I was scrolling through google images looking at minion memes and fingering myself when my doorbell rang. Standing on my doorstep was the most delicious looking snack of a minion. I was about to ask him to come in but, before I could even choke out a word, he jumped on top of me and pressed his candy corn lips against mine. He thrust his hand down my pants and began violently fisting my already drenched kitty. I was so overcome with orgasms that I couldn’t even conceive of how excited I was to finally meet the love of my life.

The bright yellow hunk carried my limp, vibrating body upstairs and threw me on my bed. Lying on my back, I pleaded “Fuck me, daddy. Fuck me as hard as you can.” The little devil simply responded, “Banana!” He has such a way with words. This sex beast then unsheathed his big bulging bright banana from beneath his denim overalls. His corn cob was uncircumcised and almost as long as he was tall. The beastly bean proceeded to wildly tear my clothes and underwear to shreds with his powerful gloved paws. Seeing my enormous tits through his gorgeous goggles, he exclaimed “Potatoes!”

The minion stood over me and smashed me across the face with his iron corn dog and knocked almost every single tooth out of my mouth. He then permitted me to vacuum his uncircumcised mushroom top. The little devil began hyperventilating and moaning “Mmm gummy!” He clearly enjoyed my gums bleeding all over his enormous tip. The bed began to tremble seismically as he was about to launch his fresh orange juice down my windpipe. Before he could do so, he knocked loose my remaining teeth as he tore his sunny salami from my face and plunged it slip-sliding up my soaking coochie. He instantly volcanically erupted gallons of fiery children through my colon and stomach. My body began seizing uncontrollably as I filled with yellow semen and experienced 400,000 orgasms per second. The sexual pleasure became so tremendous that I began to slip from consciousness and ultimately blacked out.

When I awoke, I found myself in what seemed like another year in another world. Instead of my bed, I was lying in the back of a horse-drawn wagon. As my vision clarified, I perceived a blonde, bearded, handcuffed man opposite me. He noticed I was awake and said, “Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?”
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-On 24 February 2022, '''Russia invaded Ukraine''' after having annexed Crimea and occupied parts of eastern Ukraine in 2014. This article presents a selection representing 4chan's reaction to those events.
+I want to be fucked by a minion
-==Odesa Anon==
-Source: https://archived.moe/b/thread/873409024/
-===Anonymous Sat 26 Feb 2022 03:20:53 No.873409024===
-Odessa<ref name="sic">So in original.</ref> anon here. I live 200m from the main port. It got bombarded with rockets or some shit last evening (around 20:00 local time). Pretty scary. Loud fireworks. A house next to mine got completely vapourated<ref name="sic" /> by a rouge<ref name="sic" />  blast. Hopefully nobody was at home, half of the fucking city has fled.<br />
-Still, it's a miracle I came out of this unharmed.<br />
-How do I survive through this war, fellow anons? Fleeing is not an option.<br />
-Pic not related<ref>It is therefore not reproduced.</ref>
-===Anonymous Sat 26 Feb 2022 03:23:38 No.873409125===
->>873409024 <br />
-get naked and go fight the ruskies<ref name="sic" /> you coward!
-===Anonymous Sat 26 Feb 2022 03:27:04 No.873409246===
->>873409125 <br />
-Dude that's literally the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve. I have better chances staying alive by avoiding the war instead of fighting it.
-===Anonymous Sat 26 Feb 2022 03:27:08 No.873409248===
-Kidnap a girl and make her your sex slave. They will chalk up your raping, murder spree to russians<ref name="sic" />.
-===Anonymous Sat 26 Feb 2022 03:27:29 No.873409262===
->>873409024
-make a diary like anne frank<ref name="sic" /> and after your potential death become a super star
-jk
+I’m a 45-year-old mom named Karen Chungus and I always wet my panties laughing at those funny pictures of minions on Facebook. I send them to my friends Susan and Deborah on Messenger and they always send back crying laughing emojis. Those adorable yellow little nuggets always turn me on when they say things like “a balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.” I read these and am instantly thrown into spasms of convulsing laughter and orgasm.
-just hide in the basement, hide somewhere safe, distract urself<ref name="sic" /> while waiting for this to be over good luck
+One day, I was scrolling through google images looking at minion memes and fingering myself when my doorbell rang. Standing on my doorstep was the most delicious looking snack of a minion. I was about to ask him to come in but, before I could even choke out a word, he jumped on top of me and pressed his candy corn lips against mine. He thrust his hand down my pants and began violently fisting my already drenched kitty. I was so overcome with orgasms that I couldn’t even conceive of how excited I was to finally meet the love of my life.
-===Anonymous Sat 26 Feb 2022 03:31:06 No.873409374===
->>873409262<br />
+The bright yellow hunk carried my limp, vibrating body upstairs and threw me on my bed. Lying on my back, I pleaded “Fuck me, daddy. Fuck me as hard as you can.” The little devil simply responded, “Banana!” He has such a way with words. This sex beast then unsheathed his big bulging bright banana from beneath his denim overalls. His corn cob was uncircumcised and almost as long as he was tall. The beastly bean proceeded to wildly tear my clothes and underwear to shreds with his powerful gloved paws. Seeing my enormous tits through his gorgeous goggles, he exclaimed “Potatoes!”
->>873409254<br />
-Thanks. I get that it's better to hide in the basement (located in the yard) during bombardments. But I'm also worried about looters. Should I stay inside the house and protect my possessions during the day? I have granddad's single shot hunting rifle.<br />
+The minion stood over me and smashed me across the face with his iron corn dog and knocked almost every single tooth out of my mouth. He then permitted me to vacuum his uncircumcised mushroom top. The little devil began hyperventilating and moaning “Mmm gummy!” He clearly enjoyed my gums bleeding all over his enormous tip. The bed began to tremble seismically as he was about to launch his fresh orange juice down my windpipe. Before he could do so, he knocked loose my remaining teeth as he tore his sunny salami from my face and plunged it slip-sliding up my soaking coochie. He instantly volcanically erupted gallons of fiery children through my colon and stomach. My body began seizing uncontrollably as I filled with yellow semen and experienced 400,000 orgasms per second. The sexual pleasure became so tremendous that I began to slip from consciousness and ultimately blacked out.
->>873409302<br />
->>873409248<br />
+When I awoke, I found myself in what seemed like another year in another world. Instead of my bed, I was lying in the back of a horse-drawn wagon. As my vision clarified, I perceived a blonde, bearded, handcuffed man opposite me. He noticed I was awake and said, “Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?”
-I have 7TB of freshly downloaded porn on my laptop I don't need a girl