Neal/Battle of the Tards

From Bibliotheca Anonoma
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Anonymous 04/08/12 (Sun) 22:11:45 No.392040658

You see Neal mainly kept to him self, he did not like his tard kind. But he extremely dislike one tard named james, this is the first of their battles that I saw.

>Be in 6th grade now
>New AI teacher is a very avid tard supporter
>We are now going to help the tards out once a week for the entire year
>I enter the tardHQ and see Neal in the corner
>Hasn't grown an inch sense last year (turns out he will remain 5'0 for his entire life)
>He looks as if he is in total concentration reading a book
>I walk up to Neal "Hey bud whatcha reading"
>Gives me one of those toothy tard grins "haypil"
>Sit next to him and look at the book
>Dr. Seuss a cat in the hat
>A skinny, tall tard walks over toward us
>I could tell he was a dick from the first second I saw him
>"wut ar yu reding nile"
>snatches book out of neals hand
>"Tis buk is fur babbys"
>Neal gets up "giv ut bac yames"
>James holds it up above his head "tak it"
>Neals rage is apparent, it is that of a thousand suns
>Neal sounds his raptard screech
>This is slightly different from his roar, it's soul effect is to piss off other tards
>"Stup it nile tak yur dum buk"
>too late for that bud
>Neal continues to approach with his fist above his head as far as he can reach
>Screech continues, at this point TardHQ is compromised, tards are going crazy
>Crayons and shit is being thrown, one tard is crawled into a ball in a puddle of piss
>AI class is told to evacuate, I stay to watch imminent luls
>James is now clenching his ears for dear life
>Neal is finally within striking reach of james
>He throws his mighty fist down into james nuts with the accumulative force of 1000 banhammers
>James drops and begins to throw up on the "magic" carpet


Anonymous 04/08/12 (Sun) 22:12:31 No.392040843

Neal cont. again

>Neal silences the screech, picks up the book james had stolen from him, and sits down to read it directly in james puddle of throwup
>He looks up at me with that toothy grin as I just stare
>Tard wranglers bust in, one grabs me to bring me to safety, the others grab the debilitated james and Neal
>Neal screams after me "buypill"
>I just watch as he is hulled off to the principles office, not giving a single bit of resistance
>That day was known as N day up until I left for the highschool


Anonymous 04/08/12 (Sun) 22:32:49 No.392045038

Neal part 3 (someone archive this shit please)

>Be in 2nd marking period now
>Neal had been suspended pulverizing James nuts
>He's back now
>I have started to look forward to our days helping the tards just because of Neal
>Unfortunately it's not that day
>Be in art class
>Teacher says we have a tard coming to our class from now on cus the school has started new integration program for tards
>Neal walks through the fucking door
>"Class this is Neal"
>"Hello Neal" we said in unison as I waved
>Teacher lets him sit next to me cus he knows me
>James walks into class after him
>James is introduced to class and is put at the same table as us just by luck
>We are starting water color painting right now
>Neal decides he wants to paint an apple, cus that's what I was painting
>James starts shit with us because he's a dick
>"Yur apals luk lik shet"
>Neal ignores him because... well because he's fuckin neal he doesn't give a fuck
>James obviously angered by being ignored by me and Neal pours all of his paint onto my painting
>Don't give a fuck, but Neal sure as hell did
>Commence raptard roar short burst mode (this is when I found out that short bursts means he's about to wreck shit)
>Neal throws all his paint right into james eyes as the class looks on in horror


Anonymous 04/08/12 (Sun) 22:33:28 No. 392045147

fuck this flood detection Stories of Neal cont.

>James can't see shit and Neal has not taken out skittles that I assume he had hid in the foreskin of his penis (I found he's uncircumcised in a later incident) and begins pelting james with them
>He's hurling these at mach 5 speeds into him
>James falls off of the stool he is sitting on and brings the girl sitting next to him along too
>Neal walks around the table, picks up the paint and slowly empties it onto both James and the girl (it is apparent that Neal does not give two shits about civilian casualties)
>The roar has stopped
>Kids are all huddled into the corner aside from me, the two tards, and the poor girl caught in the mix
>Teachers signals for tardwranglers waiting outside, james and Neal are picked up and taken from the classroom
>Neal is in complete and utter peace while being carried away, he simply waves at me

And that was the end of the schools integration program after the girl who got wreckeds parents attempted to sue the school