Editing Chapter Nineteen - I Hate That Girl in Elite Beat Agents

== Part 19 (April 3rd, 2007) ==

[This Nurse-kun now uses the tripcode "**Nurse-kun** !!hPl7vWPKR+W" for identification purposes. Remember kids, real [[tripcode]] aren't bold, only the Username portion.]

''' 23586286 '''
[[File:Amputee-chan-2.jpg|thumb]]
Hey, /b/. It's been a while, I know, but I thought I'd give this another shot, since things have calmed down slightly as of late in my personal life, and I did say I might be back in a month or so in my last post...which I just remembered a few days ago. I wasn't very thrilled to get accused of being an imposter of...myself, my writing style that day apparently being sub-par and 'not like the real Nurse-kun's'. Well, a friend of mine told me that he dropped in to let you know that I was having some trouble at the time that was weighing heavily, and I figured, fuck it, I might as well just tell you, though I'm not looking for attention via doing so, merely offering it as an explanation.

You can judge for yourselves then, though I can't say I'm overly inspired at this point.
(As a side note, the picture I'm posting with this is beautiful, and to whoever did it: You touched me when I saw it.)

''' 23586624 '''

My father has cancer. Pancreatic cancer, which they've caught too late to have much chance of 'curing'. He had an attack of pain so severe that it left him curled up in a fetal position on the kitchen floor in the house I grew up in, and this man, that I've never seen make so much as a sound in my life when he's been hurt, couldn't keep from screaming. He was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance against his own urgings, and within twelve hours, they had the diagnosis. I took the night off work when I heard about this, and was there when the doctor gave his results. That was two days before the last time I posted, wherein I was trying to relate the story of our trip to the zoo, on the previous friday, before the incident.

I may not be an oncologist, but I've worked with enough patients in various areas of our system to know what a late-caught pancreatic cancer diagnosis means. I suppose I shouldn't have posted at the time, should've taken some more time off before doing so, but I actually thought to myself: 'Hey, maybe it'll cheer me up a little.'. Shows just how messed up this little affair has left me, to think this about /b/, huh?

''' 23586994 '''

Anyway, after I said 'fuck this shit' and left, my life went on. I began a new juggling act, between my girl and my father, with her social worker, after the third outing, to a hockey game, actually, giving her approval to me as a 'mentor', thus ending the chaperoning. So for the past four weeks or so, I've averaged three or four afternoons a week with him and my mom (he's gotten pretty sick of us 'hovering' at this point, but she seems to need it), and two or so with her. This hasn't left a lot of time for even the wreck of a social life I had before, but while I can say 'fuck this' to you guys, saying it to them is just a bit harder.

''' 23587323 '''

But I'll tell you a story now, first, just to get the personal 'whoring' out of the way. After all, I'm quite aware of what those of you that are interested in this at all are here for.

About a week after my father's initial hospitalization, when I was at work, and somewhat distractedly playing a game of chess with her, she was quiet for a long while, until the game was nearly over, then looked up at me, and asked me what was wrong. I was somewhat surprised, and snapped out of my own thoughts, which had indeed been centered on my family's 'problem'. I'd been nearly as out of it with her as I had been on here, and she'd clearly noticed, but not said anything until then.

''' 23587784 '''

I finally told her, after hesitating and thinking about it for a good minute or so, just what was happening. She listened quietly, not interrupting, as I related the details, and when I was finished, and I looked down quietly, feeling bad now that I'd layed that on her, which I certainly wouldn't do with a 'normal' girl her age, she proceeded to move her bishop, and say "Checkmate".

I couldn't help but laugh, after a few seconds. As she watched me, rubbing my eyes as I did so, I caught a hint of a smile, a grin, even, though it was as fleeting as a spring breeze. Once I'd gotten it out of my system and congratulated her on beating me, as usual, she surprised me again, by quietly saying, "Sorry.". She clarified, a moment later, that she meant about 'my dad', and then she seemed to be the one hesitating, before speaking in a bit of a rush, telling me: "...it's...hard.".

''' 23588139 '''

Whatever pain and regret I'd been feeling, both for myself and for involving her in it, magnified themselves as she said that in a near-whisper, staring down at my captured king in her hand, resting in her lap. I set the board aside and moved from my chair to sit on the edge of her bed, and tentatively put an arm around her shoulders, as she squeezed her eyes shut. I told her that I was sorry, that I shouldn't have dragged her into my own problems, my voice faltering a bit as I saw that she was fighting to hold back tears then, and dropped the chess piece to hold her hand over her eyes, as if to hide them.

Feeling like a real piece of shit, I stroked her hair, and apologized again, then thanked her for her sympathy, telling her she'd helped me feel better for it; the fact that I now felt even worse than before was no obstacle to my saying so. Then she said something that I haven't been able to forget since.

''' 23588909 '''

"I hate that girl in Elite Beat Agents. Real life isn't like that.". I'd known pretty much from the start that that stage in that game wasn't going to go over well, and while she didn't play it when we were together, and had said in the past that she 'didn't like it', it'd been a somewhat low-key do not want. I wasn't really sure what the right response would be, but after she lapsed into silence, I had to try something, so I eventually simply nodded slightly, and said 'No, it isn't.'. I mean, sure, the rest of the game is ridiculous as well, but this was hardly the time for a smart-assed response.

Then, after a moment more of silence, she spoke up again, voice hauntingly painful: "...people just go away. Forever.". And despite her delivery, her previous composure, as she finished the final syllable in that word, her vocie quavered, and she started crying. Not having anything to say that could fix that, I just held her, and did my best not to make things any worse.

''' 23589052 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Hey Nurse-kun, if you put something in the e-mail feild, even just a random word, it makes the tripcode stand out a lot more and people can't spoof it like that

Huh, didn't know that. Thanks.

''' 23589313 '''

Not much else happened that night...she eventually settled down a bit, and I helped dry her eyes and cheeks, and told her, with as much sincerity and honesty as I could summon forth, that she was the most special girl I knew, and that I really did feel better now. She fell asleep a few minutes later, clutching my hand as tightly as she ever had outside of a nightmare incident, and as I sat there with her for a while longer, I have to admit...I did feel better, for all the pain the whole thing stirred up.

''' 23589675 '''

I made a formal application for adoption within the week. I don't know...maybe the combination of this event and her words made it clear to me that life is short, and sitting on the sidelines just gives you a good view while it passes you by. When I took her, for one of our outings, back to my family home, at her request and my mother's approval, it certainly seemed crystallized for me, as I watched her, sitting in her chair in the living room beside my father, half-asleep due to the painkillers, in his recliner, reach out and rest her little hand on top of his big, work-worn one...I can't really say with any surety.

All I can say is that I know I'm doing the right thing. And I'll see it through, no matter what it might cost me.

''' 23589927 (I threw a rock at him!) '''

Anyway...not sure I have the energy to post a summary of every single outing or event that went down at the moment, but I suppose I can open up the floor for questions...and see where things go. I actually have the day off for once, so no need to dash off just yet. Hm.

''' 23590190 (...it was a big one...) '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>oh shit, I must have missed a chapter or so, I didn't know that you had taken her out of the nursing home already. Awesome dude, good for you.

No, she's still there. But I've begun the journey to try and adopt her. Thus far, her social worker hasn't raised any major flags when I spoke to her about it, though she's told me what most other people have: that it isn't going to be easy. But then, I knew that going in...

''' 23590826 (She didn't think too much of the bears, either.) '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Should this whole "one mans quest to adopt a loli" thing actually pan out, can we still expect updates on amputans daily progress?  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Or are you just going to disappear in the sunset?  

Honestly not sure. I haven't thought quite that far ahead...

''' 23591407 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Inactive thread is inactive

For fuck's sake. Quick Reply has apparently eaten my last several posts, so I'm going to try again. Bear with me.

''' 23591619 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>You also need to sought out her schooling and everything. Does she have to go to a special needs school? How soon can she start school again?  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Edumaction is important.  

Thus far, she hasn't really recieved any schooling since she's been at the home...really heartening to see the system working, yeah. If it works out, I'd probably be homeschooling her until she's got the rehab down to an art, since she's made it clear she still hates the chair, and if she could walk, even with some help from me, we wouldn't be using it on our outings. Since her mental faculties are unharmed, she'd likely not need a 'special needs' school, though she's still got a long way to go in dealing with her trauma, so she probably wouldn't be the perfect boring student. It's something we'll need to face when we face it.

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Are you sure this is the best moment to start such a process? It certainly won't lessen your stress form your father's cancer? /b/ worries for you, Nurse-kun.

Maybe not. But I think I'd wind up in worse shape if I let her sit in that bed in that home for another six months, just to use an abstract number, without doing what I think I need to do. If I know my dad, he'd say I'm doing the right thing...he was a good one, after all...

''' 23591857 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Cool. Let me start by saying congratulations on taking the really big leap and trying for adoption. With everything else in your life at the moment, that's quite a step to take. This story made me tear up a bit ;_; 
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Now, if it's not too irritating, can I ask a few housekeeping type questions. There's been some confusion about what is really by you and what isn't, and I'm sure that will go away gradually now that tripcodes are back. Frankly, I'm assuming you're the real deal, since everything about you sounds like it, and we'll go from there.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>So the thread a month ago was a real outing and you did go to the zoo? There was a nurse-kun post a few days ago with a different tripcode that contradicted that, but it seemed very flakey. (Right, like a 7 year old would really ask to go see 300... >_>) Also, to clear up some confusion, are you the one who signed up for the Nurse-kun account on the wiki?  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>I realize these questions seem a little dumb in the grand scheme of things, but I think the way to look at it is that there are enough people who honestly care about this story and how it turns out that they want to see how it really ends without being led on or bel-aired.  

Now, the biggest post that got eaten...whooo.

Not sure how to deal with having a non-serial killer copycat. Not that I'm a serial killer with serial killer copycats. ...ahem.

Yes, the thread a month ago was real, and we really went to the zoo. No, any posts between then and today weren't me. 300? Really? Christ.

Ah, the wiki. Yes, that was me. But I realized after a few posts that it was pretty dumb to post there with my ip hanging out, proxy or otherwise, particularly since I'm not very good with them. So I stopped using it. Unfortunately, between then and now, I've forgotten the password for the account, as it wasn't one of my 'usual' ones. So I can't access it, and barring some haxxoring, nobody else can either, so I can honestly say we've seen the last of Nurse-kun on the wiki. Sorry?

''' 23592272 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Hey, no problems about the wiki account. Some people were just wondering if that was a way to contact you or not.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>And yeah, the "other-nurse-kun" vetoed 300 and went to see The Last Mimzy instead if that makes you feel better in a vaugely creepy imaginary way. -_-

...hm. Well, the ads for that have creeped ME out more than 300 did. But I suppose it's a point in my doppleganger's favour.

''' 23592301 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>It's obvious she's grown more open with you, but has that extended to other people so far?  

God DAMN IT. That makes TWO responses to this that have been eaten so far. Long ones, too. Fuck. I'm going to write this out in notepad, then I'll post it in a bit.

''' 23592690 '''

Not much has changed with regard to the rest of the staff, the resident shrinkette, her rehab nurses. She's started seeing a specialist in childhood psychiatric trauma at the children's hospital once a week, but she's still distant and reserved with her, too. The rest of the residents/patients and her rehab peers have been generally avoided as usual, but not fought with, so that's something...though a small stuffed lion was thrown at the head of an obnoxious brat at the zoo, who ran wailing to her parents, who had little sympathy once they heard what she'd said out of their earshot. The lion was retrieved and dusted off, and no blood was spilled...this time.

The incident with my dad...I think he was too out of it to really acknowledge it, or likely even remember it, but my mom saw it from the kitchen, along with me. We didn't mention that we'd seen it to her, didn't want to embarass her or something...but I'm pretty sure my mom was really touched by me...as was I, of course. While we were there, she was on the best behaviour I've seen thus far, and while not really friendly as such, as not-unfriendly as I've seen her, too. So that was nice...

''' 23592801 '''

Finally...oh, yeah, I heard about the wiki going down...my old link doesn't seem to work anymore. Anyone have a new one for me?

[The link was provided. Then Nurse-kun noted images were missing, and proasted all the inspired images he had. And it was good]

''' 23596624 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>All these pics make me wish I could draw...  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Do you actually show her these?  

Well, I did try to be consistent with that after the first thread or two, yeah...you get a gold star?

''' 23596809 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I seem to remember he showed her one, think it was this image:

First, to everyone: Sorry guys, these mysql failures are horrendous. Is it always like this around here now? I don't remember it ever being this bad, aside from around GET-time.

Now, to this: Actually, it was this one. She likes metroid. And got the chozo joke, and seemed to think it was pretty funny. It's hanging on her wall alongside her bed; I said a 'friend of mine' did it, which is close enough. I'd show her others, but too much would be...odd, I'd think, and, well. Hm.

''' 23597000 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >All these pictures make me want to draw some.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">> >Where do I send my nurse-kun/ampu-tan fanart? And where can I read a description of their appearances?  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>You post it here. Where the hell else would it go? This is an imageboard for a reason.  

And just to second this; new fanart is always welcome in these threads. Even if she might not see it (yet), I appreciate it, anyway. And hey, that metroid pic was produced well into this little journey of ours, so it isn't as though it's impossible for her to see it either, if it seems appropriate.

''' 23597222 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Nurse-kun, have you ever toyed with the idea of opening a donation for Amputee-chan? I'd be very willing to help this little girl which I also grew somewhat attached to through your story.

I considered it, but ruled it out after brief consideration. First, there's the anonymity issue. Second, I've never gone begging to strangers for money before, and I'd rather not now. And third, whenever someone DOES go begging to strangers, human nature prompts others to try and wreck that shit. Besides, I'd hardly want moot or snacks to come after me for diverting revenue away from 4chan.
But thanks for the thought, that much is appreciated and accepted.

''' 23597272 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>If new fan art is added by posting it in threads, why are you posting these?

I noticed that these older pictures were missing from the wiki, so I thought I'd offer them from my own folder. It's no big thing.

''' 23597383 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>if this post comes through: is your dad then gonna bite the dust, or does he have any healing chances still?

The odds are.....slim. He's scheduled to go in for a surgical attempt at a whipple procedure soon, but the feeling I got from the doctors, though they wouldn't say it out loud, is that the odds aren't looking good...I'm afraid that palliative care may be the only real viable option at this point, as much as I may not want it to be the truth.

''' 23597446 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Yeah the anonymous issue, i was giving that a lot of thought and frankly i have no idea how one could anonymously help you. The thought of donating just came to mind because like you mentioned a couple of times that taking further care of her (when you finally do get to adopt her *hope*) it will cost you an assload of money. And even if here parents left here some money it will not suffice endlessly... Just my 2 cents.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>On another note: I've been searching through the archived threads. Either I'm blind or you really never mentioned her birthday. That coming up soon? Plans?  

Her birthday's in the summer, so not just yet. Though I do intend to make sure it gets done right, rather than the abominations that pass for one in the nursing home.

''' 23597571 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >I wonder. If Ampu-tan found out about how famous she is, would she despise nurse-kun for talking about it on the internet like he does? I think so. But I still am interested in seeing what happens.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Someday when she is older she might stumble upon a nurse-kun link on the internet, but it is highly unlikely. Nurse-kun probably won't be that popular by the time she's old enough to browse places of the internet where you'd find nurse-kun links.  

Well, I'd certainly hope not. I have the advantage of not being an amusing fat kid with a golf ball retriever and a camcorder.

''' 23597933 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Glad to hear that. Actually a very special birthday since it's a second first birthday (yet somewhat a crappy one) having survived a car crash / fire and all.

Right...I mean, I'd certainly think it's a big consideration. Actually, I was in /co/ earlier, and I saw one of the constant Ben10 threads (a show I haven't seen myself, but I have been in /co/, so hey), which was filled with pictures of the female character at a waterslide park. And it hit me like a ton of bricks (that may have been shat).

I'm glad, in a way, that it's still a way off, and I don't really have to think about it that much right now, though I'll have to before it's a week away.

''' 23598114 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>you still have the duty to expose her to all that fan-art when she is old enough, though... at least this is what I think you owe anonymous.

I...prefer not to think on that at the moment. THE FUTURE! THE FUTURE IS NOT YET WRITTEN, DAMN IT! Let her remain free from 'us' a bit longer yet...!

''' 23598391 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >hey nurse-kun, is ampu-tan into Dragonforce?  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>we already had that some time ago. she is into classical music, as established in a previous thread.  

Actually, her tastes are pretty eclectic. She hasn't asked for any Dragonforce just yet (or other heavy metal that I know of, actually), but she has blues, rock, some bluegrass, some electronic stuff, pop...I'm not much into music myself, so I'm not much help to her there, other than ferrying her iPod back and forth between my internet connection and her ears.

''' 23598555 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >The thing that gets me most about the fan art is that, to my knowledge (and I've seen almost all the threads) nobody has explicitly 34'd this yet. I mean, I know that ITT /b/ shows what little remains of their atrophied hearts and is generally nice, but still, some things are just immutable laws...  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>there is some... well, nude ampu-tan, but no nurse-kun and her fucking, IIRC.  

I recall those pictures. They seemed generally 'arty' to me, I didn't find them offensive...though I don't have them on my HD, either. No offense to the artist, she just looked a bit too wasted and drawn, it was just depressing to look at...

''' 23599006 '''

[Regarding (ANOTHER) discussion on the merits of forcing the loli to listen to certain genres/bands (i.e. metal.)]

Gentlemen, gentlemen! Surely she could learn to love (and create, via electronic means if advancement in prosthetics does not continue at the breakneck pace it currently is) all the genres of music! She could surely bring them together, just as she brings together glass (eyes), metal (knees), plastic (feet), mechanical gears (arm and hand), and flesh (the rest of her!)!

''' 23599278 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>im gonna be jumping on the bandwagon with fanart nurse kun, expect a little something by summer ^_^  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>its amazing to see something like this on /b/, after all this time it still amazes me. sorry to hear about your father and i know the futures only gonna get tougher but i wish you luck from the bottom of my heart

Well, that'd be awesome, of course. And thank you.

''' 23599493 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Has it ever struck you that you may be bringing up what in time is to become a fearsome mecha-loli?

Only in my wildest dreams (wherein we fight crime and team up with Rally and Minny May).

''' 23599618 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>The small part of my soul that still has faith in humanity hopes to hell that this story is true, because it would be perhaps one of the kindest things a human being can do for another human being.  
and  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Finally, posting in a Nurse-kun thread.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>You're more or less my hero after I read through the wiki.  

I'm really not that special...if I can do this, I like to think any of you guys have the potential to as well. But thanks, again.

''' 23599898 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >gb2/gaia fag
 <span style="color:#35B214">>You're the one who should go back to Gaia if you think /b/ is all about hatred and making fun of people. /b/ is not just a personal army website. /b/ is RANDOM. There are NO RULES. Nurse-kun has supplied us with a story unlike anything else ever posted here. Shape up and appreciate it, kid.  

If randomness can hold the lowest of the low, can it not also hold the highest of the high (which would not be me)? I mean, this isn't /e/vil or /a/ssholes or something, guys. (Not that I'm saying such things have no place here either, of course.)

''' 23600499 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>one thing, was she white or asian? i remember hearing she was japanese but all the fanart depicts her blonde hair blue eye

Her father was a first-generation Scandanavian-American, full-out blonde hair and, actually, blue eyes, pale (but tannable) skin, tall stature, etc. Her mother was fourth or fifth-generation Japanese-American. Seems the dice rolled such that she got much of his colouring, with a mix of their facial traits and such. It's an interesting combination, I can't really describe it that well, not being an artist, but she's got a roughly even blend of caucasian and japanese features, small but not puggish button nose, good cheekbones, eyes are somewhere in-betweenish, strong but not pronounced chin, etc...kind of a cross between a really cute japanese girl and a really cute nordic-type girl. And I think she's very cute, though I suppose that's subjective for some people. And yes, her eyes are green, and her hair is an ashy blonde...it's not barbie or raincoat yellow, but it is blonde.

I'm not a geneticist, but I know I've seen pictures of other half-japanese people that turned out natural blonde and blue/green eyed before, so I hardly think it's THAT bizarre.
Ahem.

''' 23600597 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>The wiki seems really confused about this right now. Nurse-kun, was Chapter 17 or 18 your last real post?

Whichever one is the first 'Spartacus' title on there. Wherein we went to the zoo before I said 'fuck it'. Whichever came after that and before this wasn't me.

''' 23600797 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >IIRC, Japanese mother, Scandinavian father.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>is that genetically possible? less the mom had blonde hair green eyes gene not present in a pure japanese the brunette brown eye gene would win out  

I'm not entirely sure about her whole family history. I know her mom was a fourth/fifth generation Japanese-American, I'm not sure what may have happened in either sides of her family stretching back in the 70+ years before now. I saw a picture and she looked pretty Japanese to me, (and pretty pretty, too, though I kind of feel bad saying so, still, she was), but I'm not an expert in picking up heritage through traits and such.

''' 23600903 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Sup, Nurse-kun.

Just chillin'. You?

''' 23601267 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>how far advanced are prosthetic hands and arms then by now and what will she be able to do with them?  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>and this story reminds me of a movie I saw sometime, where a dj got his hands amputated and had them programmed to play his keyboard... must.look.for.it.on.imdb.  

The elbow, wrist aand fingers are all pretty necessary to play the instruments she knows, or most instruments, even. I mean, wasn't Def Leppard's one-armed drummer a below-elbow amputee, even? As it stands the current generation just doesn't have the speed or dexterity to handle musical performances beyond, like, kindergarten stuff, which she was somewhat beyond already. Even with some piano pieces written specifically for a pianist with just his left hand after WWI (I think) would still require foot pedals, I think, so even there she's kind of screwed...it's not very good, as it stands. Synthesizers and electronic stuff seems like her best choices for right here and now, and she's refused to try it when I've offered to get some software on my laptop and smuggle it in for her to try out, so...

''' 23601439 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >When we get pictures I'm going to find out what hospital she's staying at and tell them that this sick fuck was planing on raping her.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>This is why we can't have nice things.  

Yeah, see, that's why no pictures, my respect for some of her dignity and privacy aside.

''' 23601574 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>There where some other instruments mentioned in one of the previous threads. Strange that no one calls for her to sing. Nurse-kun says she has very sweet voice and in a way voice is also an instrument. I guess asking for voice samples bares no fruit?

She sings very well, the few times I've heard it...and even those were just sort of mumble-singing along to songs from EBA and a few songs on her iPod and such. Nothing really 'I'm going to sing now' dedicated, you know? Still, I thought it was lovely. But, um, I'm not thinking I'm going to post vocal samples on here. That would be a bit creepy, yeah.

''' 23601611 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I remember you saying she used to play the piano and violin. I started to wonder what she could play now, as she'd likely want to stay in music, that could be played with one hand. I was thinking, perhaps a Continuum? As I'm not good with words, I'll just link to the wikipedia article.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">><http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuum_%28instrument%29''>  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>I've actually seen the instrument played with one hand. Quite well at that. However, looking into it, it costs $3000-$5000.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>I don't know, just thought you might find that helpful and/or interesting. Here's the official site, if the price hasn't already scared you off.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">><http://www.hakenaudio.com/Continuum/''>  

Huh, I'll have to look into that...though the price is a bit wince-inducing, yes.

''' 23601903 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >too much pretentious, manipulative language 
 <span style="color:#35B214">> >either 100% bullshit, or OP is creepy beyond description; some sort of emotional vampire  

Well, I like to think I'm not an emotional vampire, whatever the fuck that's supposed to be. I'm obviously leaving out a fair bit and using my own words to try and convey the actions and thoughts and motivations of people other than myself, and since I'm no great author, I'm likely to come off a bit sour in my 'notes' every now and then. Guess I can only say 'sorry' and try harder next time, while assuring you I don't suck quite the way you think I do?

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I don't think I can convey this feeling with text.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>It's just this massive, unrestrained urge to grab your head and pound it on the pavement until you die. It's like just when you're close to coming - that's how bad I want to hurt you. I want to murder your unborn children. I want to rape your daughter. I want to eat your wife and spit on your grave.  

Whoa, dude. That's a bit much, really. We can all read into things in different ways, coloured by our own experiences and feelings and such...live and let live, man.

''' 23602077 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Ok it is creepy. But still, she might become a great singer.

Well, I'd certainly encourage her if she felt like singing, but she isn't my performing monkey, so I don't want to push her into doing something she's uncomfortable with...

''' 23602192 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>from the chapter 17 archive: 
 <span style="color:#35B214">> >Friend of Nurse-kun here. Actually, Nurse-kun number one really is the genuine article, and 21727722 on down is full of shit. He's been having some problems with his family recently, and isn't in good shape about it. I'm not really sure what's up. I haven't asked, but I don't think it has any relation to his job or Amputee-tan (who, by the way, is not as cute as he usually describes).  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>nurse-kun says in op that this guy is real. so I guess there ARE pics, but we don't get them ;_;

Sorry, guys. Just the way the cookie crumbles x several thousand+ people vs a few close friends, you know?

''' 23602356 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">> >(who, by the way, is not as cute as he usually describes).  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>nurse-kun says in op that this guy is real.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>So, maybe it's better we don't get pictures. But for one man to live a storybook drama in real life for six months, and tell the world how it happened-- I think maybe that's enough.  

Like I said earlier, we're all entitled to our opinions. I haven't seen him judging any beauty competitions yet, so he's hardly an authority!

''' 23603759 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>What kind of situation are you living in? Still living with your parents, got your own place, or what? Do you think that your dad having pancreatic cancer might form a barrier to adopting the girl?

I moved out when I went to college, and I've been living on my own since, about an hour, with traffic, from my parents' place. I live in an apartment. I realize I'm going to have to move to a better place if/when it happens. And I don't see why it would, as the rest of my family doesn't, and I believe they'd still support me...

''' 23603954 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>If he's so nice and wonderful and charitable yadda yadda yadda why doesn't he take such an interest in the older patients? Why does he view them with contempt? I'll tell you why, he doesn't have an old people fetish.

Who said I view them with contempt? I'm just a realist, and I don't particularly enjoy cleaning up bodily waste. Pardon me for an occasional jocular tone to my words on a board with at least one 'you laugh, you lose' thread a day.

''' 23604038 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Whoever adapts this to a book had damn well better not make it a women's novel. Whatever magic Nurse-kun's story has that has given /b/ the ability to care MUST be infused into the print edition of this story...but please, please...not a women's novel...

Personally, I'd rather nobody copied this and 'adapted' it for sale. But hey, not like anybody cares what I want, right?

''' 23604580 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>[question about incorporating exercising into his life in preparation]

Sorry, missed that. Um, yes, she exercises every day, and I'd expect that I'd do so, at least a bit, along with her, were we living together.

''' 23604816 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Poster who said that here. If you don't want it used then it shant be, cross my heart. Just the writer in me thinking about the possibility

No, I understand. I just quoted your post because I was too lazy to quote the three(+?) people saying they were, or were considering, 'adapting' this and selling it somewhere. Hey, if someone wants to write a story based on this, whatever, go ahead. Selling it? I dunno, I'd feel somewhat less neutral or positive about that. You want to make a webcomic, or a fanfic, or whatever, that doesn't bother me. Submitting it to some 'genuine' publisher for wide release? That's when I start to feel somewhat annoyed.
I mean, I'm kind of busy with the life inside the story at the moment, and be a Nurse, not a Writer, damn it, but who knows about the future? If this makes any sense?

''' 23605694 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>is the social worker aware of your current family issues? would moving to adopt her now raise any additional flags because of it?

Yes, she is. Part of the conversation we had when I saw her after submitting my application for adoption was about my father's condition, and how it'd affected my decision to move forward with this. She'd already known I was considering the possibilities, and said that she could see how my father's diagnosis could make me evaluate my own life, and my future.

She was pretty supportive, even as she was honest about how difficult it'd still be; even so, she said that his condition probably wouldn't negatively affect my chances, anyway...and might make it more clear to the people that decide these things why I'd do so.

''' 23605838 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Nurse-kun !aiGJu3yh2o: I DID IT, I IMPERSONATED NURSE-KUN, AND I DID IT FOR THE LULZ AND GODDAMNIT I'D DO IT AGAIN I'D DO IT 100 TIMES

WHILE I ADMIRE YOUR PLUCK, I CANNOT GIVE YOU MY LIFE NOR MY LOLI, FIENDISH DOPPLEGANGER. YOU WILL HAVE TO FIND YOUR OWN.

''' 23605893 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Hey Nurse-kun. Were the initials of the zoo BPZ? I think we live near one another.

Well now, I can't comment on that one way or another. Sorry.

''' 23606259 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>LIES. I would rather produce all this crap, and give her only a 10% share. after all, it is me who has done most of the work. she just got crippled.

Man, you belong on The Apprentice. /b/ isn't big enough for you.

''' 23606442 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>On the manga side: Let's face it, get someone like Yu Aida who knows how to draw broken girls and realistic settings (see: Gunslinger Girl,) and you have an instant .jp hit that'd probably do well in N. America and Europe too.  
On the monies: I think it'd be awesome if in the future (say around when this obviously bright girl starts looking at college,) the story could be published in various forms and media, and the money could all go into a fund for her schooling and general well-being. 

Well, I wouldn't mind collaborating with a manga artist, but I, uh, don't exactly know any of them. Or Japanese. Or much of anything non-catheter-related, to be honest. Oh well.

''' 23606595 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>by "very difficult" does she mean that you are unlikely to succeed in adopting her, or that if you do, life will be hard? or is it both?

More the first, adoption in general is hard, single people adopting much harder, even if the system doesn't really want her, and nobody else is likely to. The second is true as well, but isn't really what she was referring to...

''' 23606693 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I approve of this massive burn!

No, no, it was a compliment! I mean, shit, I can just see the Trump gobbling that initiative up. American dream, baby! (Ok, maybe not a real compliment, but it wasn't a full-on burn, either.)

''' 23606805 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>what are you going to do if someone makes money from your story? sue them? that would be one funny day when everyone you know finds your logs at wikichan or similar failure logging websight

There is indeed a dilemma there, to be certain. Positively Shakespearian, it is.

''' 23607017 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I remember being here during your first thread, and reading and watching, and suggesting things, and hoping for you.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>This all endlessly reminds me of Densha Otoko, someone's probably said this before because every repost is repost repost, but this could be 4chan's D-O.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>;_; Saving this.  

Welcome back? Thanks for all your support! (film critics rave about romancing ampu-tan)

''' 23607940 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>ok, I've onlyt just noticed Nurse-kun was back, and I haven't browsed through ALL of this massive shit, but I was curious:
 <span style="color:#35B214">>How do YOU, Nurse-kun, feel about the attention that /b/ is paying you?  

It's weird, and not particularly like anything I've experienced before. I've never been much of an attention seeker, so having this much paid to me is...a new experience, and somewhat unsettling.

I mean, you guys want the truth? My initially posting about this on 4chan, let alone /b/, wasn't even my idea. When I was discussing her with the friend I mentioned in the OP, who posted in the last thread, he suggested that I post about her here, and we started joking about what a discussion about her in here would be like, and, well, that's where most of the ideas for poopering, and generic copypasta 'raep teh loli' stuff came from. I really didn't expect it to turn out like this. At all.

''' 23608124 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I kind of suspected that. Well, best of luck to you. Make sure you have as many family members as possible attend whatever hearings there are (I don't know much about adoption proceedings) to show that you have support to fall back on.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Have you actually talked to the girl about adoption? You don't mention it in any of your posts, unless I missed something.  

I know, I haven't mentioned the discussion we had on the subject yet...but it was kind of a personal one...yeah, I know, I know, but even for all of this. It seems...wrong...to post it here, you know? Just like I haven't posted the discussion my dad and I had about her when he was in bed in the hospital, and...well. I guess I'm a failure as a /b/tard thus far, sorry guys.

''' 23608601 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I mean, I'm concerned about YOU more than Ampu-tan (I feel like a cad for it, but hey, there it is), especially with your dad and all. How are YOU?

I'm...surviving. Don't even need any nuts. It's still day by day, and they each seem to last a year or so. The rest of the family is depending on me, since I've dealt with this sort of thing before, which is a new thing for me, too...but all I can do is try and keep going, you know? What else can I do? Just drop it all and hide under my bed with my hands over my ears?

''' 23608645 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>In b4 Dan Kim...

...huh.

''' 23609079 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Well at least you could give us a hint if she is in favor of the idea or not, since it throws a different lighting on the whole affair either way.

It's complex, but she was more or less in favour of the idea...mostly...or at least in seeing how things go......it's complicated.

''' 23609629 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>WHAT. That's[autosage] not there anymore?

Now I am unstoppable!

''' 23609870 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Well, they also have access to real manga. If you'd rather me go Del-rey, Broccoli or Dark Horse I could push that too. Hell, for that matter, I could even get the idea to AKA Cartoon, Dreamworks Animation or the USA Network.

That...might be moving a bit fast. I'd, um, need to think about this, and doing it right now probably isn't the best idea, joking aside. But thank you for your offer of help.

''' 23610201 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>i'd really like to know anything you'd be comfortable with about her feelings about adoption  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>you need only utter one word  

Complicated, but for, mostly. As much as someone in her situation, at her age, can be for something like that. It's not a simple either/or/one/the other situation.

''' 23610331 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Dan Kim is a webcomic artist. he's pretty popular around /b/. besides his "Nana" work, he does some fairly serious stuff as well. check it out if you have the time, the Nurse-kun/Amputee chan saga is right up his ally.  
 <span style="color:#35B214">><http://manga.clone-army.org/''>
 <span style="color:#35B214">>infact, he's actually a fan of yours  
 <span style="color:#35B214">><http://blog.clone-army.org/?p=253''>  

I know. I am aware of him, and have read through Nana's Everyday Life, a few months back, post the start of all of this. He's an excellent artist, and a creative talent.

''' 23610584 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Reading this reminded me of a post Dan Kim made in March of 2006...  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>"Okay, so there’s a book called City Limits. It’s a compilation work, with a few different people with stuff in the book. What’s my submission? A story about an armless, legless, mentally disturbed loli hospital shut-in. I am not even kidding. It’s the perfect wrist-cutting bastard spawn of Nana and PXI."  

Well, that's kind of disturbing.

''' 23610917 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>You really are an inspiration. Your story has inspired me to change things in my own life, and I'm thankful for, if nothing else, just you being you.

Thank you for being there to support me. Without people like you, I may have given up on what seemed like a hopelessly doomed notion. For every anonymous that says I'm their inspiration, I can just hold up a mirror. That goes for all of you.

''' 23611919 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>I would say as soon as nurse-kun leaves this thread dies.

Well, I do have to leave for work in an hour and a half or so. And since I'll be with her, I'd have to defend her even against 4chan, were a bunch of you to show up in green ski masks and try to 'raid' her.

''' 23612020 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>[re: Nurse-kun being 4chan's Densha Otoko]

And here I'd never even heard of Densha Otoko before all this. I suppose that's the internets for you.

''' 23612266 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>You should teach her how to handle a gun. I don't know why, but it sounds so awesome. I probably just need to lay off the fucking Gunslinger Girl.

Man, this may make me seem unAmerican, but *I* don't know how to handle a gun. Dad was always very much opposed to it.

''' 23612364 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Do you sleep man?  
 <span style="color:#35B214">>Don't overdo it on our account. =D  

On a 'posting day', I generally get home from work in the morning, sleep for six to eight hours, wind up posting in one of these threads for most of the day, then go to work. Like I said earlier, it's a wreck of a social life at best, practically a second job already.

''' 23612681 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Somewhat most posts in this thread give more attention to Nurse-kun than amputee-chan. I guess she would be mostly ignored cause of idolizing nurse-kun.

Certainly wasn't my intention. The last couple of threads have been weird, in any case, **though I hope to rectify that with the next one.**

''' 23612945 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Nurse-kun.... I.... grazed my knee and it hurts, would you make it better for me?

Topical antiseptic hurts, you know. But I did do my first stint in the ER...

''' 23613125 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>[states basic rules for handling a gun]

I dunno, man. I'm not the hurtin' people type. I prefer my deadly objects made out of stainless steel and handed to doctors.

''' 23613484 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Nurse-kun, tell us about what's been going on with you and Amputee-chan, your adoption conversation aside.

Well, a fair amount of things have happened...I'm not sure I have the time or the energy to really get into them right now, though, particularly as I'm making a late dinner and getting ready for work.

''' 23613961 '''

She's improved in some areas, and not as much in others. The car ride to the zoo, for example, was nearly identical to the downtown core the previous time. It may have been slightly 'better' for her because the previous one was her longest trip since the accident, but I can't say I really noticed a major difference...she kept her iPod on loud enough that I could make out words from my spot beside her, and that was over the noise of the engine and traffic, which were not inconsiderable.

''' 23614398 '''

She's still having the nightmares...it's just that after the first few descriptions, there didn't seem to be much more I could say without sounding like I was tugging at heartstrings and copypasta-ing myself. It's almost disturbing how similar they are; she relives the crash and the subsequent entombment in the car with her dead parents, then the firefighters and paramedics showing up and cutting her out of it, then the trip to the hospital, and her experience in the ER...

...she remembers EVERYTHING. Every time. Unless she breaks out of it herself and manages to wake up, or I'm close enough to hear her whimpering and talking in her sleep (which sometimes turn into screaming), and I wake her up. Then I sit with her, and hold her, and do my best to comfort her, and help her calm down, and dry her eyes...

This is still happening an average of three times a week, sometimes as much as five, used to average five and sometimes happen every night in the hospital post-accident.

''' 23614922 '''

I don't discuss them much anymore because I don't like thinking about them, and about what she's going through. I had nightmares for a while myself as a child, though nothing like this, and thinking about her...well.

She's still roughly as prone to PTSD 'attacks' as before, mostly when she gets stressed out, when she's exposed to things that bother her...she'd start freaking out when she needed an MRI in the hospital, and even being in her washroom makes her visibly tense. Our resident shrink reports not much progress with her new specialist at the children's hospital (another longer car-ride a week, which she isn't too happy about), but it may simply be an issue of trust, as well.

''' 23615768 '''

She's still working hard at her physical rehabilitation...and making more progress, even slow as it is, than on the other fronts. She's now making it halfway down the parallel bars walk of glory on her own just about every session, and can make it there and back again without a major stumble with a nurse's help, most days. Of course, she needs to rest and recover afterward. Unfortunately, her phantom pain is still as bad as ever, and it often acts up after a rigorous session.

She's working hard with her arm and hand as well, and making progress in coordinating the use of her elbow, wrist, and grip...nearly as quickly as any patient she's had before, her primary nurse there says. Her use of her left hand has just kept improving as well...considerably faster than mine has, as I provide less and less challenge to her at EBA and Ouendan.

''' 23616096 '''

Basically, she's trying her best with what she's capable of changing, and trying to accept and deal with what she can't...though I don't think she'd much care for being compared to a religious prayer. She continues to be awesome.

''' 23616446 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>[Wild suggestions regarding some sort of lucid dream training.]

Um, yeah, I'm not an expert, or even particularly knowledgable in the human mind. Pretending otherwise doesn't seem to be a particularly wise thing at this juncture, nor does trying to 'fix' her on my own...which I know I can't do.

''' 23616897 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>[More suggestions about learning to interrupt bad dreams by oneself]

Well, our resident shrink has tried to work with her on the nightmares, and I'd imagine that her new specialist will be as well...my trying to 'help out' could be like a complete retard trying to 'help out' with inserting a catheter. It may sound simple, but you don't want to see what happens when it goes wrong.

''' 23617002 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>[re: [#23615768](/#23615768)] 
 <span style="color:#35B214">>At that pace, you'll need to start using your dominant hand to provide a challenge to her, eh?  

Well, I'm not quite sure about that just yet...she's getting really good, but I'm not a complete fool when it comes to using a stylus to save the world.

''' 23617145 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Rest well Nurse-Kun.

Rest well? Man, I'm going to work in a little while until the sun starts coming up. But thanks for the thought.

''' 23617653 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>So what happened to the picture you took of the receipt and scrubs?

Oh geez, that? I don't even know where the film for that might be. I'll just try and re-take it.

''' 23618365 '''

![](1175661041960.jpg) [Img currently lost to time]
 <span style="color:#35B214">>You guys just wait, Amputee-chan and Nurse-kun are going to become a pair of world-saving heroes. Amputee-chan will pilot the helicopter while Nurse-kun jumps into danger and takes out the bad guys.

You'd be surprised what these things can do in the wrong hands...

''' 23618448 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>Nurse-kun, perhaps the most important question of all: it's hard to tell just on small snippets of text (though we are grateful for them), but do tell us - is her overall mood and tone happy? I mean, yeah there are nightmares she has and therapy, but is she happy through all this?

No. It sounds bad, feels bad, to say it so simply, but no, overall, she isn't happy. She has moments...here and there...sometimes daily...but no. Not overall.

''' 23618538 '''

Mm, I need to get going in the next few minutes. Any last words for the night, /b/?

''' 23618943 '''

 <span style="color:#35B214">>kill yourself

And on that note, off I go. Sweet dreams, /b/, and I'll try and see if I can help her have the same.
Night.
{{:Nursekun}}