Neal/Neal
This Page: Neal | Next Page: Battle of the Tards
Anonymous 04/08/12(Sun)21:28:07 No.392030503[edit]
Ok /b/ i'm going to tell you my own personnel tard story, the story of neal.
>Be in 5th grade
>Be in AI class (it's like advanced shit for smart kids)
>The teachers decide it is a good idea for us to spend a day with the tard kids because we were ahead of schedule for the marking period
>I had never seen a tard previous to this encounter, so I didn't know what to expect
>Walk into the tardHQ
>It seems to be a regular class room filled with ugly ass kids
>Everybody is assigned their own personnel tard to talk to
>I get assigned neal
>I walk up to the tard and say Hello i'm phil
>"haypil"
>One fluent word, "haypil" he says this whenever he is within thirty feet of me, and it becomes my only warning of the inevitable oncoming shit storm
>Sit down and see he is cutting paper
>Ask him what he's making
>"mrhhms"
>"what?"
>The tard starts to make this screeching sound, the only thing I can compare it to is the sound of a fucking raptor
>A fat downy tard runs up to us "STUOP ITTTT"
>Neal gets up and continues his raptard roar directly in her face
>Downy tard goes batshit, engages tard strength and flips the entire table over
>Neal not only continues his tard roar but moves closer to downy child
>Down kid just starts screaming and tries to run for the door, forgets to open it and smashes into it head first
>KO
>Neal silences his roar, sits down and continues cutting the paper as if nothing had happened
>allmywut.jpg
>Tardwranglers run in and retrieve Neal, and the downy child, they are both sent home
And that my friends is the first of my many stories of neal. just tell me if you want more.
Anonymous 04/08/12(Sun)21:47:37 No. 392034629[edit]
After our first faithful encounter I hadn't seen Neal for a while, so this story takes place about 3 months after my previous story
>Be walking down the hall with friends to lunch
>Talking bout usual 5th grade shit, pokemon and what not
>Hear a faint yet memorable voice
>"haypil"
>Don't answer, pretend I heard nothing due to the events of last time
>Hear the sound yet again, except this time it is directly in my ear
>"HAYPIL" He had just appeared on my side, he had to be atleast thirty or so feet in the other direction previously (this speed will come into play in later encounters)
>Wave awkwardly to him "Hey Neal"
>He extends a bag of cheetos he had in his hand in my direction "Wunt sum?"
>"No thanks Neal"
>My friend not knowing the kind of devastation Neal is capable of reaches over and grabs one of the cheetos out of the bag without asking
>Neal looks up with pure malice
>Oh fuck not again
Cont.
Anonymous 04/08/12(Sun)21:48:08 No.392034761[edit]
Neal Cont.
>Approaches my friend deliberately looking into his eyes
>Engage raptard roar
>This one was in short bursts, it appears as if he has different roars for different situation
>Friend says "what's wrong with him?"
>Friend backs away as Neal approaches chewing the cheeto
>Neal lets out one last violent tard roar and hurls himself at my friend, knocking him over
>He jams his hand into my friends mouth and retrieves the liquidy remnants of the cheeto while continuing his tard roar directly in his face
>Stands up and eats liquidy half eaten cheeto after silencing his roar
>Tardwrangler comes speeding down hallway and grabs Neal by the wrist to pull him back to tardHQ
>Waves at me "Buypil" not a single ounce of regret or any emotion for that matter in his eyes
>I wave at him in utter aw "Bye Neal"
You guys want more?
