Tales from IT

Thread 1

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:21:00 UTC+1 No.537989407 Replies: »537989870 »537990586 »538004234 »538009116

I got hired by my Dad to do IT. I know very little about IT besides games. These are my IT stories.

>be first day
>woman asks me if I can install the latest version of adobe reader
>fuck ya I got this

>DL like a boss
>"Wow you're like a computer expert"
>"Well you know..."
>Asked to input admin credentials
>forget admin credentials
>try admin:password
>nopejpg
>"uhhhh... uhhhh... oh crap somethings going on with the server... be right back"
>3 months later she still doesn't have adobe reader
More?
Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:25:29 UTC+1 No.537989990 Replies: »537990181 »537990586 »537991061 »538000632 »538005631 »538009358
>be day 2
>angry guy is on the phone asking me about some weird in house program
>have no idea what the fuck he's saying
>there's a pause
>he's waiting for an answer
>think back to the IT crowd
>"Have you tried turning it on and off again"
>"Like restarting"
>"Give me a sec..."
>it fucking worked

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:29:04 UTC+1 No.537990437 Replies: »537990802 »537996957 »538001173

>day 3
>hot sales rep comes in with laptop issues
>she's 9/10 cougar
>all flirty with me
>tells me she needs something updated
>can only hear her boobs
>her laptop smells like straberrys
>download adobe reader for her and hand it back

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:33:46 UTC+1 No.537991024 Replies: »537991502 »537992334 »537996961 »537999125 »537999236

>day 4
>figure out how to turn off the servers
>when people start asking for help
>go into server room
>turn off servers
>come out oblivious and start downloading adobe reader
>eventually people start screaming
>THE SITES DOWN! THE SITES DOWN!
>"I'm on it!"
>run back to the server room
>play hotline Miami in the back for few hours
>turn server back on near end of day
>come out of server room
>wipe brow from face
>"I did it..."
>people are singing my praises saying i saved the day
>really just saved the girlfriend in HM

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:49:03 UTC+1 No.537992985 Replies: »537993131 »537994992

>day 5
>run into cougar at coffee machine
>ask her how things are going, just a general statement
>instantly thinks im talking shop
>starts telling me all the shit wrong with her computer
>she doesn't see me as a human
>she sees me as an it
>tell her to drop off her laptop
>she does
>I upgrade her ie
>download adobe reader
>restart the machine
>everythings fucking working
>run it back to her
>fix my hair
>check my breath
>act like I saved the day
>she's in her office on the phone
>she motions to put on her desk
>I do...kind of linger
>"Is that everything hun?"
>leave
>hear her say "oh it was just IT"
>just IT
>that is all I am now

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:07:05 UTC+1 No.537995276 Replies: »537995863 »537996374 »537996510 »538003364

>day 6
>really bored
>decide to download a gameboy emulator and play some pokemon
>the webfilters blocking it so I turn it off the whole thing I dont just whitelist it, I turn it all off
>get to emulator site but now I need to turn off the antivirus
>use the admin which I now know to do it...
>end up turning off the whole antivirus settings on the server
>download my emulator and rom
>play my game
>guy comes into my office
>"I think I caught I virus"
>me "gotta catch em all"
>by the time I'm facing Misty 4 people have viruses

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:12:16 UTC+1 No.537995969 Replies: »537996586

>day 7
>same guy that was yelling at me day 2 is yelling at me
>he cant remotely log in just as I am about to leave to go home
>"Try turning it off then on again then call me back"
>go home

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:17:35 UTC+1 No.537996668 Replies: »537997456 »538000370 »538009753

>day 8
>guy call from day 7 calls back
>he's pissed
>tells me he lost a client because of my stupidity
>"shit happens man. I lost to team rocket like 10 minute ago"
>"what the fuck are you talking about?"
>click

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:24:52 UTC+1 No.537997654 Replies: »537997961 »537998938

>day 9
>one of the printers is out of toner
>some fat guy tells me to change it
>"its a toner man... can't you change it? I'm working on this huge issue with the server"
>was really downloading steam
>"it'll take a second... god I have much more important stuff to do... that's why you're here"
>sigh and go do it
>can't figure out how to fucking open the fucking cartridge door
>start hitting it like they do in zoolander
>tell the poor mentally challenged guy in the mail room I have a special job for him
>he has to hide the magic egg in the chest of Hewlet Packard
>go back to my server business
>half an hour later the fat guy comes into my office
>"What the fuck did you do to the printer?"
>"Changed the toner"
>He just starts shaking his head and muttering shit
>we walk over to it
>the mailroom guy jammed the cartridge in the wrong way and actually lodged it in there so half of it is sticking out
>the door cant even close
>there's black hand prints all over the printer too
>Can feel the guy judging me so I just spew bullshit
>"Looks to be a probably with the network."
>the printer was down for over a month before I figured out we have a printer guy on call

Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:36:30 UTC+1 No.537999228 Replies: »537999356 »537999386 »537999617 »537999839

>day 10 >have to set up projector in the boardroom >cant find a thunderbolt to hdmi cable to hook it up to lazy to go to the store >dont even have a corporate card either >tell the people needing the projector that there's a compatibility issue with macbooks >they use some guys dellbook >the files from the mac end up not running on the dellbook >call me in mid meeting >all these business people staring at me as I am randomly clicking folders as fast as possible to look like I am pro >download adobe reader >double click files >works >"Thanks Anon, you saved me"