Shower Thread
A new thread is made, but Dan is nowhere to be found. The anons pass the time by poking fun at Dan's favorite activity.
1243804 (Archivist)
Hey guys, making this thread as a continuation to:
>>1229527
I have made a screencap of the whole story, which I will upload in a minute. (Too big for 4chan - mediafire)
1243862
Just a minute while I have a shower.
1243887
>>1243862
Showering? That fucked, yo.
1243895
brb taking shower while waiting for OP.
1243911
Fuck yeah showers
1243948
the thread's super exciting and all, but I really need to shower
1243925
I just finished my shower but I might be able to grab another before Dan gets the next part posted.
1251266
I take baths.
1251274
>>1251266
Taking baths? That's fucked, yo.
1251669
>taking baths
>2012
ISHYGDDT
1244386
> "Shower and change... it'll make you feel a bit better, I'll sort you out some bedding."
> "Thats... nostalgic." I thought to myself, closing the door again and heading into the shower"
> "Wouldn't exactly be a lie, even if the rest of it would be, jumping out of the shower I brushed my teeth"
> "Morning" I said without turning around "Go and grab a shower, I've left a towel and some more clothes for you in there, we'll worry about getting yours back later"
> "You hungry? I don't know about you but a shower and some food sound pretty good about now"
> "came back and I jumped in the shower making sure to scrub my face well to get the pig blood off of me"
> "Go ahead and take a shower, at least now you can wear your own pyjamas right?"
> "The next day I got up, showered, dressed and left for work without waking her up"
> "We polished off the pizza and watched TV until 10pm, noticing the news coming on I said "Cmon, you should probably go take a shower now, I'll set up your bed and stuff"
> "I quickly showered expecting her to be up but she was still under than light blue sleeping bag quilting"
> "I pushed the laptop onto the middle seat on top of the empty pizza box and stood up, 'I'm going to go take a shower'"
1243937
Shower thread? Awesome!
Seriously though, I've been following this thread since the first post was made, what, 30+ hours ago? Loving every second, very entertaining read. Cant wait for the conclusion.
1243998 (Archivist)
>>1243937
Yeah ages, only saw it about 4 hours ago, where I thought it was way, way over... Also, britfag here, it's 9pm so he will probably go within a few hours...
I am predicting his story happened about 16 days ago.
The Longest Shower[edit]
[Time passes and Dan has still not returned. Anons start to get uneasy.]
1246165
I find the lack of story-telling disturbing
1244646
Waiting for Dan to get out of the shower
1246825
If i had eyes that farted and shit I would take 5 showers a day, too
1245809
Gentlemen, as we wait for our intrepid storyteller to return, I bring you... [THE OMEGA SHOWER](http://en.jacuzzieu/bath/showers/omega/omega/)
1245187
OP your balls are clean enough, get out of the shower and finish the story. Fuck blowdrying, let that shit drip dry.
1243998 (Archivist)
>implying he's not prepared for that problem and has a waterproof laptop
When you have 10 showers a day you have to be ready.
Never Gonna Shower Again[edit]
1246282
The fucking small abuser ex has kidnapped Dan, whilst he was in the shower!
1246304
>>1246282
DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS `;_;`
1246329 (Archivist)
>>1246304
I know whilst Dan is kidnapped he can't repeatedly shower. I don't know how he'll survive
1246299
>>1246282
I live in the Midlands too, i'll rescue him! `<spoiler\>`*let me just take a shower first*`</spoiler>`
1246383
>>1246329
All I can imagine is poor, poor Uncle Dan. Trapped. Covered in sweat, and grime, and maybe even some actual dirt. He can feel his pores clogging, but no matter how hard he begs, no matter how much he cries, there is no shower.
He's all alone, dirty and fastfood-less. What kind of a god damns such a badass to such a lowly fate?
1246543 (NOT DAN)
The next day I woke up only to find her gone... I found this odd as she usually sleeps in longer than me.
My first thought was obviously that she must be in the shower. I felt I had to check on her well being, immediately I ran into the bathroom, only to find it empty. "Oh well, she must have gone to the shop," I thought.
Whilst I was there I decided to take the first of my showers. As I got in I felt the warmth of the water against my cool skin, it felt amazing.
I then heard the door open, assuming that was her I shouted "In the Shower, will be out soon for my next one". Suddenly the locked door [of] the bathroom burst open. I was confronted with the man that I have faced many times, her ex. He struck me twice with the aluminum bat which he wielded.
I awoke to find myself still in the shower but something was happening to me. I looked over my shoulder only to see him, naked with his dick in my ass. I had both of my hands tied to the shower rail, there was nothing I could do. I was in that shower for over an hour, him raping me, over and over again.
And that my friends is why I will never shower again.
1246594
>>1246568
>implying even that would stop him from taking showers
1246598
>>1246543
i laughed though dan would've suicided after that, too traumatized to shower? his life would be fucking meaningless
After Shower AMA[edit]
[Dan finally returns to answer a few questions from anons.]
1244045 & 1233908 (OP)
Sorry guys, sister called and I poured myself a rum and coke, couldn't exactly tell her to get off the phone.
But man that pizza was tasty... if any of you have a snappy tomato pizza near you, order one! If it's anything like the one I had you'll be blown away by it's deliciousness, even when cold!
Also, it's 22:46 here and way past 10, which is where I usually go to bed. Should I pick this Cool Story up around 06:30 american time tomorrow? There's plenty of cool story left to enjoy and the best is yet to come. judging by what people seem to want to read, theres only 2 days left of story. that cool?
Before we move on and for the sake of Trivia.
- I'm 26 years old. - This stuff happened last Tuesday. - I usually shower 2-3 times a day, 3 if I've been working out or it's been really hot while I've been at work, I don't like the feeling of being sweaty and sticky.
1252789
This drags on like a Chechen with its legs blowed off...
Interest lost.
1252811 (OP)
>>1252789
well I only had about 5 more posts until the end, but if people are starting to loose interest I guess I could rush the ending.
1252820
>>1252811
I'm still interested!
1252824
>>1252811
Yo man, I've been following this thread since the very first post and I have to say I'm still completely enthralled. Your writing may not be the most articulate but you're an excellent story teller. Fuck the haters and the impatient cunts. Take as long as you need, it's not like the majority of the losers on this board have anything else to do.
Serious props man.
1252828
>>1252811
no no no no no keep the quality up, I'll gladly wait, I can have \<spoiler\>showers\</spoiler\> in the mean time.
1240735 (OP)
>>1240663
> I swear Dan/UncleAnon was the original writer from the start, but didn't bother tripfagging until a bunch of other people started writing the story for him. Oh well, great story so far. Just want faster updates
I am the OP, and I'll be writing again soon, just came back from my run and putting dinner on, the next part is the heart of the cool story, my posts are easy to spot because they're consistent with my writing style, but the pastebin I posted before I went to bed is everything up to where we are so far.
1243976
Summary of last thread:
>OP gets back with his ex because he's fucking stupid
Summary of this thread:
>They fuck
1244006
>He'll probably shower and eat more of Snappy's Pizza again, because his *More Than Insurance (TM)* policy leaves him enough money for pizza every friday
FTFY
1244138 (OP)
>>1244006
Funny you should say that, the policy pay-out and statement came through on friday and "2934.96p" was deposited into my account along with the index prices of everything that was covered... all in all I only paid about 1300 for everything in my apartment originally, most of it was from ebay or stuff people were getting rid of when I moved in and needed things.
I'm probably going to replace everything via ebay and other cheap sites to save as much money as possible again and then use the rest for pizza/beer/curry money.
... maybe buy a new \<spoiler\>shower\</spoiler\>... all this talk of showers is really making me want to go and have a shower.
1244426 (OP)
>>1244410
>Hey OP
>so why did your ex (Betty I assume) tell the guy where you lived?
>as a forever alone i am really enjoying the story
Betty is her mothers name, he described me to her and she gave him my name, then he looked me up as it turns out.
1248734
After reading all of the story posted so far.. seeing that he has quite the active life and is pretty damn alpha... I have to ask.. How the fuck did he end up on /r9k/ for 18 hours a day?
1248794
>>1248734
probably has a waterproof smartphone and uses it to enter 4chan while showering
1252198 (OP)
>>1248734
lol notice the long gaps between my posts? I'm usually up to something when that happens, eating, drinking, having a shower, going for a jog, lifting weights etc. I'm quite a solitary man and I don't have many hobbies, I don't even own an xbox or ps3. I had a wii but I got drunk one night and my leg caught around the power cable sending it flying off my set top box on the wall and smashing on the floor, and I actually claimed it on the insurance.
Heheh, I'm covered for accidental damage anyway but I just never got round to it until last week, can't wait to play me some Wii Sports and thee new Zelda: Skyward Sword. I'm actually a mega-huge zelda fag, final fantasy too but not owning a ps3 means not being able to play. From what I've read FF13 was a complete farce anyway and much worse than 12 so I'm not too bothered about playing it.
If someone put a gun to my head and screamed "WHATS YOUR FAVORITE GAME!" I'd have to say Link To The Past, I played it on an emulator a year ago, and to my surprise I hadn't forgotten a single thing about it and blew through it in less than 5 hours.
Just got out of the shower, for the sake of you guys I timed myself and it seems I take around an hour in there from start to finish, a lot of time is eaten up working on my hair and deep cleansing then moisturizing my face, gotta keep those boyish good looks!
And thanks again everyone for following the story! hope you're finding it sufficiently cool!
1252877
Fucking dan's back. Holy fuck you started posting at 11ish, and thats after you've showered, worked out, eaten, etc.
I've only just fucking got up at 1pm and have only showered...
You're making me look bad...
1252268
OP, you have to have some sort of ocd or something to spend an hour showering each time
1252328
>>1252306
>[The fact] that it takes him an hour is what makes think that [he can't possibly be taking like, what,] 15 a day?
not strange to me anymore, ever since OP started this story i have been taking 40 showers a day
1252332
>>1252328
One must wonder, at that level, why even bother getting out?
1253126
>>1253086
Dan,it would be nice if you take a picture of your shower so that we know this is real. It would be appreciated.
1253221
POST PIC OF SHOWER WITH TIMESTAMP OR SHOWER NEVER HAPPENED
1253316 (OP)
>>1253221
lol I'm not taking pictures of my shower, I imagine your imaginations of the water temple from zelda OOT are way better than the actual shower itself.
In fact, yeah, imagine it as the water temple from Ocarina Of Time, haha.
1254344
>>1253316
>water temple
Oh god, I laughed so hard I choked and scared my cats
1252523 (OP)
Will post in a sec, just farting into the shower.
1253446
Damnit Dan I've been reading this since you first started, it's 4am here and I just want to go to sleep in my nice comfortable bed while spooning my gf.
BUT NOOOOOO. You have to be taking your sweet, sweet time.
Typing up all those words really breaks a sweat doesn't it? You should probably take a shower.
1253316 (OP)
>>1253446
The ending is delicate! I have to put some thought into it, remember I'm gunning for Cool Story! plus I'm trying to tie up as many loose ends as possible, I don't want people to get an incomplete ending, that wouldn't be cool man.
