Editing Tales from IT

==Thread 1==

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:21:00 UTC+1 No.537989407''' Replies: »537989870 »537990586 »538004234 »538009116
[[File:Idontknow.jpg|thumb]]
I got hired by my Dad to do IT. I know very little about IT besides games. These are my IT stories.

{{Greentext|>be first day
>woman asks me if I can install the latest version of adobe reader
>fuck ya I got this

>DL like a boss
>"Wow you're like a computer expert"
>"Well you know..."
>Asked to input admin credentials
>forget admin credentials
>try admin:password
>nopejpg
>"uhhhh... uhhhh... oh crap somethings going on with the server... be right back"
>3 months later she still doesn't have adobe reader}}

More?

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:25:29 UTC+1 No.537989990''' Replies: »537990181 »537990586 »537991061 »538000632 »538005631 »538009358

{{Greentext|>be day 2
>angry guy is on the phone asking me about some weird in house program
>have no idea what the fuck he's saying
>there's a pause
>he's waiting for an answer
>think back to the IT crowd
>"Have you tried turning it on and off again"
>"Like restarting"
>"Give me a sec..."
>it fucking worked}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:29:04 UTC+1 No.537990437''' Replies: »537990802 »537996957 »538001173

{{Greentext|>day 3
>hot sales rep comes in with laptop issues
>she's 9/10 cougar
>all flirty with me
>tells me she needs something updated
>can only hear her boobs
>her laptop smells like straberrys
>download adobe reader for her and hand it back}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:33:46 UTC+1 No.537991024''' Replies: »537991502 »537992334 »537996961 »537999125 »537999236

{{Greentext|>day 4
>figure out how to turn off the servers
>when people start asking for help
>go into server room
>turn off servers
>come out oblivious and start downloading adobe reader
>eventually people start screaming
>THE SITES DOWN! THE SITES DOWN!
>"I'm on it!"
>run back to the server room
>play hotline Miami in the back for few hours
>turn server back on near end of day
>come out of server room
>wipe brow from face
>"I did it..."
>people are singing my praises saying i saved the day
>really just saved the girlfriend in HM}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:49:03 UTC+1 No.537992985''' Replies: »537993131 »537994992

{{Greentext|>day 5
>run into cougar at coffee machine
>ask her how things are going, just a general statement
>instantly thinks im talking shop
>starts telling me all the shit wrong with her computer
>she doesn't see me as a human
>she sees me as an it
>tell her to drop off her laptop
>she does
>I upgrade her ie
>download adobe reader
>restart the machine
>everythings fucking working
>run it back to her
>fix my hair
>check my breath
>act like I saved the day
>she's in her office on the phone
>she motions to put on her desk
>I do...kind of linger
>"Is that everything hun?"
>leave
>hear her say "oh it was just IT"
>just IT
>that is all I am now}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:07:05 UTC+1 No.537995276''' Replies: »537995863 »537996374 »537996510 »538003364

{{Greentext|>day 6
>really bored
>decide to download a gameboy emulator and play some pokemon
>the webfilters blocking it so I turn it off the whole thing I dont just whitelist it, I turn it all off
>get to emulator site but now I need to turn off the antivirus
>use the admin which I now know to do it...
>end up turning off the whole antivirus settings on the server
>download my emulator and rom
>play my game
>guy comes into my office
>"I think I caught I virus"
>me "gotta catch em all"
>by the time I'm facing Misty 4 people have viruses}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:12:16 UTC+1 No.537995969''' Replies: »537996586

{{Greentext|>day 7
>same guy that was yelling at me day 2 is yelling at me
>he cant remotely log in just as I am about to leave to go home
>"Try turning it off then on again then call me back"
>go home}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:17:35 UTC+1 No.537996668''' Replies: »537997456 »538000370 »538009753

{{Greentext|>day 8
>guy call from day 7 calls back
>he's pissed
>tells me he lost a client because of my stupidity
>"shit happens man. I lost to team rocket like 10 minute ago"
>"what the fuck are you talking about?"
>click}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:24:52 UTC+1 No.537997654''' Replies: »537997961 »537998938

{{Greentext|>day 9
>one of the printers is out of toner
>some fat guy tells me to change it
>"its a toner man... can't you change it? I'm working on this huge issue with the server"
>was really downloading steam
>"it'll take a second... god I have much more important stuff to do... that's why you're here"
>sigh and go do it
>can't figure out how to fucking open the fucking cartridge door
>start hitting it like they do in zoolander
>tell the poor mentally challenged guy in the mail room I have a special job for him
>he has to hide the magic egg in the chest of Hewlet Packard
>go back to my server business
>half an hour later the fat guy comes into my office
>"What the fuck did you do to the printer?"
>"Changed the toner"
>He just starts shaking his head and muttering shit
>we walk over to it
>the mailroom guy jammed the cartridge in the wrong way and actually lodged it in there so half of it is sticking out
>the door cant even close
>there's black hand prints all over the printer too
>Can feel the guy judging me so I just spew bullshit
>"Looks to be a probably with the network."
>the printer was down for over a month before I figured out we have a printer guy on call}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:36:30 UTC+1 No.537999228''' Replies: »537999356 »537999386 »537999617 »537999839

{{Greentext|>day 10
>have to set up projector in the boardroom
>cant find a thunderbolt to hdmi cable to hook it up to lazy to go to the store
>dont even have a corporate card either
>tell the people needing the projector that there's a compatibility issue with macbooks
>they use some guys dellbook
>the files from the mac end up not running on the dellbook
>call me in mid meeting
>all these business people staring at me as I am randomly clicking folders as fast as possible to look like I am pro
>download adobe reader
>double click files
>works
>"Thanks Anon, you saved me"}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:44:31 UTC+1 No.538000403''' Replies: »538000602

{{Greentext|>day 11
>there's a new hire
>no one fucking told me anything
>get screamed at that theres no computer for this new person
>go in back to see if we have any spares
>there's a few
>but there's also some really old pcs from like the early 90's
>boot it up
>works
>set up new person
>everything lags
>you open adobe reader? massive fucking lag
>send out the computer
>"it's the best we've got on short notice"
>get like 40 sharepoint tickets the first day from that person
>he's a real stickler for help
>he ends up quitting the very next week saying he can't work under these conditions}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:54:24 UTC+1 No.538001801''' Replies: »538001991 »538002151 »538002582 »538003029

{{Greentext|>day 12
>someones computer crashed
>fuuuuuuuuck
>set up computer
>remember something about profiles being saved on the network
>go back to the server room
>look at the server rack like a total idiot as I try and figure out in my head how this works
>tell the guy all his data is lost and there's nothing I can do
>"b-b-bbut my project... i have to present that to the board on friday..."
>"gone, man. It's gone"
>play sim theme park the rest of the day}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:09:56 UTC+1 No.538003978 '''

{{Greentext|>day 13
>roll up to work an hour late
>whole office is in chaos
>fallofrome.jpg
>"HE'S HERE!"
>Go in to my office open up mail
>dozens of emails like:
>"Hey is there something wrong with the server I can't log in to..."
>"Any idea why the site is down I..."
>the server is actually down
>adobe reader can't save me now
>"Just go back there and do what you did last time!"
>everyone thinks its an easy solve
>literally shaking in the server room because I don't know what to do
>nap in server room for entire day
>people are pissed can hear them banging on server door
>we've missed deadlines
>leave at 6:30 pm
>the CFO sees me in the parking lot
>hes been in a meeting all day doesn't know about my struggles
>"You're still here?! That's the kind of can-do attitude I like to see"}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:16:37 UTC+1 No.538004926''' Replies: »538005196 »538005209 »538005270 »538005631

{{Greentext|>day 14
>server is still down
>my dads asking questions
>everyone is pissed
>take an early lunch
>over hear some guys at the restaurant talking about buying a new modem for the office
>hailmary.jpg
>"Hey sorry to bother you during your lunch...but would either of you happen to be IT?"
>before either of them could read me the riot act and tell me something like how the fuck dare I
>I'm IT too
>I show them my hand that I scratched up crawling wire on the floor
>they nod
>"What would you try doing if your server is completely fucked?"
>"Have you tried restarting it?"
>I go back and restart the physical machine
>it fucking works}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:22:06 UTC+1 No.538005784''' Replies: »538006516

{{Greentext|>day 15
>hot cougar walks by office looking distressed
>"Everything okay?"
>"Oh good... I cant log into my email... can you please help me... PLEASE"
>"I got you."
>get her laptop
>re-install microsoft office
>outlook works again
>poke through her emails to make sure things are working
>send a test file
>read the titles of her latest emails
>"Divorce"
>hand back her laptop
>"Looks like its working now"
>"Thanks..."
>"Everything okay?"
>"Well..."
>this is fucking it, tell me your sob stories cougar woman and then its on
>"My mouse is acting a bit funny, can I get a new one"}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:33:21 UTC+1 No.538007465'''
{{Greentext|>day 16
>one of the mailroom guy's monitors isn't working
>it's coming up all green
>backstory: there's been a huge misappropriation of funds because I gave him dual monitors just because he's a mentally challenged and I figured if anyone needs 2 screens its him
>all he does is look at msn slideshows
>and use the fedex webapp or something
>he's a nice guy so I actually try and fix it for him
>nothings working
>think its a driver issue
>think its a setting issue
>think its an actual hardware issue
>whole time people are coming to me with real problems but I keep saying "I'll be there in a minute"
>after 2 hours the mailroom guy goes
>"maybe da pug ish boken"
>I swapped out the hdmi cable with a brand new one
>it worked
>I officially am less adept at my job then a poor mentally challenged guy}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:43:12 UTC+1 No.538008829 '''

{{Greentext|>day 17
>nice old woman who talks to me about sports tells me her keyboard is shit
>she's oldest person in the office by far
>old as dirt
>tell her I have just the thing
>go in the back and unbox a brand new keyboard meant for the programmers
>bring it to the old woman
>"You're such a helpful young man"
>reach down awkwardly to plug in the new keyboard
>get back up and dust pants off
>old lady looks like she's having a heart attack
>look at the screen
>it's fucking blank
>on my way back up to my feet I hit the power button
>she lost 3 hours of work
>3 hours that old woman will never ever see again}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:17:40 No.538013416 '''
{{Greentext|>day 18
>company meeting
>were over budget
>there has been ridiculous spending
>"we've lost money for almost a month..."
>day 18
>almost a month
>they are going to out me
>IT budget comes up in discussion
>were one of 2 departments that are coming under budget
>"Great job Anon. I heard about the server issues here... you're the man"
>at the end of the meeting a 45 year old events planner asks me if I fix computers on the side
>"Not really..."
>"Oh... I have this one blasted thing that needs fixing. You couldn't just come over and fix it?"
>bullshit
>for a laugh I say, "yeah it's cool, just give me your address and I'll be over after work"
>not sure if I'm getting sex
>buy condoms
>she's not that hot like a 6/10 tops
>not even going to lie
>last call kind of hot
>arrive at her house
>ring the door bell while standing all suave leaned up against the door
>her husband answers the door
>shows me to the computer
>install the latest version of adobe reader
>get $20
>go home}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)23:23:20 UTC+1 No.538014162 '''

{{Greentext|>day 19
>some guy crashes a program so I have to reinput the settings
>go onto his cubiclemates computer
>check settings
>2 hours later
>"You wrecked my computer...lwant my fucking computer back exactly how it was... I don't know what you did but somethings off...my usb drive is buzzing..."
>wtf
>I didn't do shit to your computer. I checked a program you open 20 times a day
>super pissed so I go back into the server room and play Thomas Was Alone
>hear knock on server room door
>it's the cubiclemate
>"Hey, Thanks for fixing it."
>"Fixing what?"
>"The my usb drive"
>I didn't do shit lol
>"Oh yeah... don't mention it"

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:31:29 No.538015293'''

{{Greentext|>day 20
>spend entire day cleaning the server room up
>getting it all nice
>just unplugging network cables Willy nilly so I can colour coordinate them
>people are losing their shit
>they are randomly getting kicked off
>tell people there are some issues with our isp
>I make sure to say I-S-P as I have now learned by speaking in abbreviations no matter how common makes you sound techy
>by the end of the day the server rack is all classy looking
>unfortunately I never mapped anything and a handful of people cant connect because their ports aren't connected to anything
>tell them the I-S-P will have it done ASAP and go home}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:38:28 No.538016156 '''
	
{{Greentext|>day 21 	
>now that the server room is all clean I set up all the test boxes in the back 	
>8 machines in total all connected to the network 	
>try joining monitors all together like you see on cool threads, you know like the racing ones? 	
>realize these are shit old monitors and you cant do that 	
>come up with the great idea of bitcoin mining with these boxes 
>set it up for the first half of the day 	
>after lunch I'm mining 	
>terribly but I am mining 	
>people start complaining about server lag 	
>blame the lag on the olympics 	
>suggest that the whole office must be streaming it 	
>ban the olympics on the web filter 	
>office is divided; can see the divide in my email 	
>people who are pissed about not being able to watch the olympics 	
>and the keeners who think its all work and no play at work 	
>I've officially gained power though, people respect me for making this mandate 	
>"He's a real company guy"}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)23:42:25 UTC+1 No.538016735 '''
{{Greentext|>day 22 	
>its birthday day 	
>office celebrates all the months birthdays 	
>take cake 	
>set up n64 in the boardroom 	
>challenge people in the office to goldeneye 	
>keep saying "Hey I'm just taking a 5 minute break for some cake... want a quick game?" 	
>own the shit out of all of them 	
>realize I did absolutely nothing all day but eat cake and game 	
>no one ever noticed}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)23:47:35 UTC+1 No.538017463 '''
	
{{Greentext|>day 23 	
>cougar calls in from the road 	
>she's having trouble accessing a key app for a client on her ipad 	
>she tells me its name 	
>have no idea what it is 	
>but make sure to sound astute 	
>ask her if she's using WIFI or 3G 	
>"How do I check" 	
>"Nevermind let me check from my maincore system" 	
>google the app but nothing comes up 	
>ask one of the other sales people 	
>"oh it's just an infographic on our main site" 	
>tell the hot cougar to come into the office because it's going to require me to hardcode the changes in 	
>she drives 2 hours to come to the office so I can open up Safari and bookmark it to her ipad homepage}}

'''Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:56:07 No.538018694'''

I'll continue this tomorrow, believe it or not there's an ending to this but I can't get to it today. 

{{Greentext|>day 24 	
>people heard from the 45 year old events planner I do house calls 	
>bunch of idiots are bringing in their home computers, mobile devices, anything technical for me to fix 	
>tell people I can only do it after hours and I charge $20 for small stuff and $50 for large. 	
>most of it is simple fixes 	
>windows updates or adobe reader installs fix it 	
>but then I get it 	
>the laptop from hell 	
>this fat indian guy hands me his laptop in a plastic bag, not a laptop bag, a plastic one 	
>"What's wrong with it?" 	
>"You tell me genius" 	
>Load it up and it's asking for some system restore or something. 	
>just hit next and okay 	
>fixes it but it says I need to load chkdisk? 	
>figure that has something to do with the cd drive 	
>open it up 	
>there's a thick fucking layer of bread crumbs in the tray 	
>tilted the machine to its side 	
>motherfucking bread crumbs just pouring out of the laptop 	
>restart the machine 	
>it loads perfectly 	
>turns out the guy was using it as a tray for his morning bagel 	
>fucking toaster laptops}}

==Thread 2==


'''Anonymous (ID: I9PWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)17:27:40 UT'''

Hi /b/ ifs the IT guy from yesterday 	

{{Greentext|>day 25 	
>even though I'm shit at IT 
>one guy thinks because I am IT I am super techy
>he asks me what my favourite browser is
>"Google...Ultron" 	
>"Is it like chrome?" 	
>shit thats what I meant 	
>"yeah...but better...it’s what nasa uses" 	
>"cool could you dl that for me?" 
>gulp no worries'  	
>literally start the mouse back and forth so fast you can't see the cursor 	
>then ctrl alt deleted into task manager 	
>"there....you go. All done. It looks like google chrome, but it's really ultron, no one else can tell." 	
>to this day he still thinks he runs google Ultron

	
>day 26 	
>some woman calls me over 	
>"it'll just take a sec, its super simple" 	
>shit 	
>asks me to hook her up to a new printer 	
>she hops out of her chair and lets me sit down 	
>forget how to add network printers 	
>her and her friend are talking right over my shoulder staring at the screen 	
>Is this going to take long?" 	
>I fake deep thought as I stare at the screen with one hand on my temple 	
>"Anon? I have a deadline is this going to..." 	
>"What the fuck..." 	
>both of the women are startled 	
>'THERE'S A VIRUS ON THIS MACHINE" 	
>and I just storm off like I'm pissed
	
>day 27 	
>learn about a remote access tool that the whole office uses 	
>decide to haunt the old nice old lady from before 	
>i randomly move the mouse for a few hours 	
>she struggles to do basic tasks 	
>she comes and asks me for a new mouse 	
>oblige her 	
>hook it up and leave 	
>look back at remote tool 	
>mouse is moving again, she opens up word 	
>I begin to type 	
>"Hi" 	
>no response 	
>"Hi" 	
>"Hello? Who is this?" 	
>"It's death :("
	
>day 28 	
>a guy asks me to burn him a copy of a dvd for a presentation 	
>holy fuck I know how to do that 	
>burn it for him 	
>march back down to his office, proudly holding the dvd high in the air 	
>Woman tries to stop me "Hey can you..." 	
>"Not now... I've got IT business to attend to" 	
>hand the guy his burned dvd 	
>this might be one of the first things I've done right here 	
>tear in my eye 	
>so proud of how far I have come 	
>I am true IT 	
>5 minutes later I get a call "Hey...yeah there's nothing on the dvd
	
>day 29 	
>give new hire her new laptop 	
>nothing is fucking setup right 	
>forgot to hook up her outlook to exchange 	
>no worries she did it herself 	
>cool 	
>she asks me if I can type in the admin credentials so she can dl some social media tool 	
>"Sure" 	
>fuck up the login credentials like 3 times and get locked out 	
>have to unlock it from my machine 	
>can't figure it out but go back because I left my gameboy in her office 	
>she starts making small talk 	
>"So where'd you go to school to become an IT person?" 	
>she's fucking on to me 	
>try logging in once more to admin account 	
>locked out still 	
>"Yeah... you know what? I think this Hootsuite extension is a virus. I don't want that shit on my network"
	
>day 30 	
>here's where shit starts to really hit the fan 	
>as you know i had setup a bitcoin mining rig in the server room 	
>it was just eating up all the bandwidth 	
>the whole network was barely operational 	
>and now because of my ineptitude and blaming things on viruses people started a rumour 	
>that the whole network was being attacked by a rogue hacker group 	
>after lunch I get pulled into a meeting by with all the execs 	
>the jig is up 	
>"As you know we've been experiencing a multitude of issues with our network 	
>fucked 	
>"from the lag to the viruses" 	
>so tucked 	
>'We want you to head up the investigation and find out who's doing this and why" 	
>ROFL 	
>I am the fucking dirty cop on the force who's tasked with finding the dirty cop 	
>I am the fucking law
	
>day 31 	
>tell people fm running server calibrations 	
>"ifs like dusting for finger prints" 	
>no ones the wiser 	
>show this one middle aged guy with a beard how to use a webapp 	
>go to favourite it for him and put it on the toolbar 	
>notice all of his favourites 	
>Big titty housewife 	
>Pajama Butt Slut 	
>Mexican girl on bus 	
>mouse over them as I mouth read them 	
>he starts freaking out 	
>begs me not to tell 	
>"Why shouldn't l?" 	
>"I’ll buy you lunch" 	
>got 10 chicken nuggets
	
>day 32 	
>for some reason the entire office is having to fill in a captcha every time they google anything 	
>have no idea why this happening 	
>Google ultron guy asks me if this has to do with the virus and if he should be backing up his data 	
>"First. Always back up your data." 	
>he nods to my tech savvy 	
>"Second. It's a security measure I've put in place. There are robots afoot." 	
>he nods again like my word is law
	
>day 33 	
>Ultron guy blabs and tells everyone about google ultron 	
>now everyone in the fucking office has a sharepoint ticket asking for it to be installed 	
>a few of the more competent people are asking me what the fuck google ultron is 	
>I just give them finger guns until they walk away 	
>have to spend entire day going from desktop to desktop pretending to dl google ultron 	
>literally spend 3-4 hours pretending to dl software that nasa uses 	
>one girl asks me if this even legal 	
>"Are you a cop? 	
>she reports me to HR for "criminal like behaviour" 	
>have already explained to HR what google ultron is... 	
>HR thinks its real 	
>HR thinks nasa uses it 	
>HR tells the narc to stop interfering with important technological matters because the narc doesn't know anything about IT like me 	
>doesn't know anything about IT like me
	
>day 34 	
>been playing portal 2 all day in my office 	
>haven't heard so much as a complaint 	
>haven't had to update adobe reader or adobe flash all fucking day 	
>something's not right 	
>no one's said shit about it 	
>poke my head out of the office 	
>everyone's heads down just typing away 	
>starting to get worried 	
>ask a guy how his computer is working 	
>"Great. Ever since you downloaded Google Ultron, my whole computer has just been flying" 	
>wtf 	
>do a quick google search on google chrome 	
>supposedly it automatically downloads the most up to date versions of adobe 	
>omfg 	
>if I don't have fucking adobe reader I'm fucking out of a job 	
>send out mass email 	
>ATTN: do not open google ultron it has been hacked 	
>spend rest of day uninstalling and making IE the default browser
	
>day 35 	
>people are becoming restless with the hacker/virus stuff 	
>they wonder why I haven't solved the case yet 	
>some even believe its not a hacktivist group like I've been hinting 	
>"We're not just dealing with amateurs here. Were dealing with the best. And that's why I need to update your antivirus scanner" 	
>just to strike the fear into people I covertly turn on the computer of a person who's sick and stationed right in the middle of one of the larger areas 	
>turn off her monitor 	
>put speakers full 	
>then go back to office and remote in 	
>play Wham's Jitterbug at 3 second intervals throughout the day 	
>eventually people start coming to my office to report this 	
>I nod 	
>Its worse than I thought" 	
>"What? What is it?" 	
>Its the Jitterbug gang. One of the world's best hacking groups" 	
>"I've never heard of them." 	
>That's why they're the best."
	
>day 36 	
>check messages 	
>local police called 	
>FUUUUCK 	
>need to speak with me since I am IT about recent hacks on our organization 	
>delete message 	
>cougar comes into my office 	
>asks if I can adjust her desktop so the wallpaper changes every couple of minutes 	
>"Sure." 	
>head over there with her 	
>she tells me she's getting a divorce 	
>"Oh." 	
>Says she's actually starting to date again and its pretty awkward 	
>fuck it 	
>“Wanna maybe grab a beer sometime after work?" 	
>she laughs 	
>"What? I mean why not?" 	
>"You're joking right? You're IT..." 	
>my eyes well up as I stare at adobe prompts me that reader has a new update 	
>"Just gonna download this."
	
>day 37 	
>feeling like shit today 	
>cougar told her sales friends that I tried asking her out 	
>people are laughing behind my back 	
>can hear the whispers 	
>"ewwww hahah IT?!!! ewwwww" 	
>want to just open up a computer and jump through the moving cpu fan 	
>mean sales guy who usually calls (yeah that one) stops by office 	
>"My laptops not working" 	
>I trudge over to his desk with him 	
>hit the power button for a reset 	
>don't say anything and just walk away 	
>"If that's all you ever do.. Why do we need you?" 	
>turn around 	
>"what?" 	
>"if you only ever just restart my computer... why are we paying you? I can restart my own damn computer" 	
>grin 	
>"Have you ever repaired a server here? Do you know how hard it is to get it operational? Remember how we were down for a day and a half?" 	
>he shakes his head 	
>'That's what I thought." 	
>of course I just restarted it lol
	
>day 38 	
>still feel like shit after the cougar shut me down 	
>decide to block 1 major site on the webfilter every hour 	
>feel like the Joker doing it 	
>first youtube 	
>then ebay 	
>then reddit 	
>hear the moans from people as they read my webfilter note 	
>This is a place of work not a fun house" 	
>One woman storms into office 	
>'This is not funny...this is serious" 	
>'Why so serious?" I ask her 	
>"I need you to unblock ebay" 	
>lol seriously 	
>"I HAVE AN AUCTION ENDING IN 5 MINUTES!" 	
>put it back on the safe list 	
>but it was too late 	
>she missed out on her cellphone case 	
>mwhahahahaha
	
>day 39 	
>an "investigator" comes to the office 	
>the execs were worried that we had too much to lose and wanted to bring in a professional 	
>I'm fucked 	
>show him around the office 	
>he keeps asking to see the server room 	
>And this is Carol. She's a riot. Aren't you Carol" 	
>doing everything I can to stall 	
>we go back into the server room 	
>he compliments me on how neat the cables are 	
>think about picking up a monitor and bashing his skull in and then running away to mexico 	
>can't do it 	
>I'm not a monster 	
>I'm IT 	
>the guy goes onto the server 	
>asks me for the login info 	
>figure the jig is up 	
>give it to him 	
>he logs in 	
>opens up IE 	
>looks over his shoulder at me 	
>"You don't need to be here" 	
>"It's fine" 	
>I need to be there when it happens 	
>he literally starts shaking his mouse really quickly around IE clicking on random parts of the screen 	
>I know because a popup for Home depot came up 	
>he starts muttering to himself... "hmmm... hmmm" 	
>watch him type in adobe reader in google 	
>he dl’s it 	
>swings his cursor around some more 	
>and then finally goes 	
>"fucking hackers right?" 	
>we are brothers he and I 	
>IT brothers
	
>day 40 	
>wake up and realize how lucky I truly am not to be fired or worse 	
>see cougar girl walking into the office from parking lot 	
>asks me how things are going 	
>I think we finally put an end to the jitterbug gang 	
>"no, I meant... not work stuff' 	
>look at her strangely then smile. 	
>"Oh you know how it is 	
>she flicks her hair and then laughs 	
>what the fuck? 	
>"Cool. I'm having problems opening a file can you open it for me hun?" 	
>sigh 	
>"Yeah sure..." 	
>we walk into her office she's being all flirty 	
>click on the sharepoint link of a pdf file 	
>won't open 	
>download adobe reader 	
>while its loading I ask her what she's planning on doing on the weekend 	
>"I'm going to the mountains with this guy for our first getaway" 	
>stop adobe reader at 80% 	
>walk right out 	
>I am IT
	
>day 41 	
>this hot yoga girl from events comes into my office 	
>her keyboard keeps typing in french 	
>too busy playing flappy bird to care 	
>"so are you going to help me?" 	
>“if things slow down. Eve been swamped today" 	
>"I'm going to fucking kill you”
>she waggles her glorious yoga butt away 	
>cute girl. and don't even care anymore just want day to fucking end 	
>I hate this fucking job 	
>all I do is get yelled at abd download adobe reader 	
>I can't even find the joy in games any more 	
>Dad walks by 	
>sees I'm looking blue 	
>Dad takes me out for lunch 	
>pats me on the shoulder 	
>"I'm so proud of you son." 	
>to date the company is in fucking shambles 	
>and I still am primarily an adobe reader downloader 	
>but I wouldn't change any of it for his very next words 	
>"I love you son." }}

Thanks guys and thanks Dad for the job. :) 

Don't forget to download your adobe readers guys.