65 Mustang GT

Everybody's a Ferrari Fan

I'm mad at you, I'm mad at you. You said you're not a Ferrari fan. Everybody is a Ferrari fan, even if they're not, they're a Ferrari fan. Even if you go to the Mercedes guys, even if they say, 'Oh yeah, Mercedes is the greatest brand in the world', they are Ferrari fans. I'll tell you what though, the two seagulls I avoided into turn one some lap when Lewis caught up more than half a second in the first sector, they were definitely not called Alesi and Berger. They were maybe, I don't know...Nico and Lewis, trying to commit suicide. But I was braking for animals, Lewis didn't. But yeah, I know that has nothing to do with your question, but err... I am still mad at you.

Ferrari is my source of eternal pain

Hi I am a Ferrari F1 fan. The constant failures and complete inability of their drivers and their constant fuck ups is too much to handle. Leclerc might be on suicide watch having never won a race on merit. Frankly, I might need to be on SW too! Carlos is mind fucked and does not have what it takes to be a top driver. Their strategies are mid at best. My 80 year old sub teacher with no prior F1 knowledge could probably lead them to a title. Putting Leclerc on inters on a perfectly dry track. Almost as dry as Binnotto's brain. The tyre was a complete opposite of Binnotto's brain (smooth brain). Carlos constantly cracks under pressure. The man can't even keep up with Grandpa Alonso and Grandpa Lewis. My mental wellbeing is at an all time low. I have several thoughts of drinking one of their title sponsors, Shell Petrol, to kill myself. Maybe even dousing myself in it and then lighting myself on fire. I have been a Scuderia Ferrari fan since 1981. So far they've fucked with the careers of Vettel (causing several events of sBinalla); Alonso (essentially ruining his career); Kimi (causing him to retire, pull him out of retirement and then make him want to retire again); Massa (causing balding issues for him due to the severe stress and pressure); Schumacher (leading him to go on that fateful skiing trip). I want to go to Maranello and blow up their HQ. There is no hope with Vassuer either as he is disappointed with his own team every weekend. Leclerc binned it in qualy again. They are effectively the fourth fastest team. I can't have a repeat of 2018 again. Please save me

Ferrari sent me a prototype car

I put diesel in it, even though it’s a petrol engine. Now the car doesn’t work properly. Even if it worked properly, it’s a stupid product with terrible value. You can buy Honda civics and toyota corollas for that money and it will take you point a to b perfectly fine. By the way even though ferrari wanted their prototype back i auctioned off the prototype in a car show for charity some time ago. I will send the value of the prototype to ferrari soon. Regardless they like it or not.

Ferrari F430 Scuderia

I sexually identify as a Ferrari F430 Scuderia. Ever since i was a concept car i dreamed of going 200mph through the Italian countryside. People say to me that a person being a Ferrari is impossible and that I'm mentally ill but I don't care, I'm beautiful. You people cannot determine what I am or what I should be. I will not conform to your ideals. It's too late for that. I'm having a surgeon install a 4.3 liter V8 into my body. From now on i want you to call me "Scudeira" or "Scuddy" and respect my right to violate speed limits by 120 mph and dominate on the Nürburgring. If you can't accept me you are a ferrariphobe and need to check your supercar privilege. Thank you for being so understanding

No money, no experience, limited education. All I had was a passion to get somewhere. - Enzo Ferrari

Time line of Enzo Ferrari's life: 1898 - Born in Modena, Italy. 1908 - He witnessed Felice Nazzaro win the Circuit di Bologna, which inspired him to become a racing driver. 1917 - Joined the Italian Army and shoed mules for the 3rd Alpine Artillery Division. 1919 - Moved to Milan to work for Costruzioni Meccaniche Nazionali as a test driver. He made his first appearance as a racing driver in the 1919 Parma-Poggio di Berceto hill climb race, finishing fourth. 1920 - Joined Alfa Romeo. 1921 - He competed in several races as an offical Alfa Romeo driver. He also had his first major accident trying to avoid a herd of cattle blocking the race route. 1923 - Enzo married Laura Dominica Garello. He also met Countess Baracca who invited him to use her son's Prancing Horse emblem on his race cars for good luck. 1924 - He was made Cavaliere (Knight) for his sporting achievements by the Italian state. 1927 - Enzo was made Commendatore by the Italian state in recognition of his racing. 1929 - Enzo put together his own racing team, Scuderia Ferrari (Ferrari Stable), which became the official racing arm of Alfa Romeo. 1931 - He completed his final race as a driver at the Circuito Tre Province, finishing second. 1932 - His son Alfredo was born. 1937 - Scuderia Ferrari builds the Alfa Romeo 158, which dominated international racing. Later this year he closed the Scuderia Ferrari when Alfa Romeo reclaimed its racing division. 1939 - After leaving Alfa Romeo, he opens Auto Avio Costruzioni with the purpose of beating Alfa Romeo with one of his own cars. 1943 - Government intervention forced the company to build grinding machines during World War II. 1945 - Enzo began working on the first Ferrari. 1947 - He took out the Ferrari 125 S for its first test-drive. 1948 - Ferrari won the Mille Miglia. 1949 - Ferrari won its first Le Mans 24 Hour Race. 1951 - Ferrari won its first Formula 1 World Championship Grand Prix. 1952 - Ferrari became world Champions with another Grand Prix victory. 1956 - Enzo's son, Alfredo, died from muscular dystrophy. His son was involved in the design of the new V6 motor which is named in his honor. 1962 - Enzo is awarded the Hammarskjöld Prize by the United Nations. 1963 - Enzo built the professional industry and artisanship training institute, which continues to provide Ferrari with special technicians. 1965 - Enzo is awarded the Columbus Prize. 1969 - Financial issues required Enzo to sell a 50% stake to Fiat. 1970 - Enzo is awarded the Gold Medal for Culture and Art by the President of Italy. 1971 - He decided to build the Fiorano Circuit which opened in 1972. 1977 - Enzo formally resigned as president of Ferrari, however he retained control of the business. 1987 - The Ferrari F40 was the last car to be created under Enzo Ferrari. 1988 - Enzo Ferrari passed away at the age of 90. 1994 - Enzo Ferrari was inducted into the International Motorsports Hall of Fame. His cars won more than 4,000 races and claimed 13 world championships.

Dear lord, what a sad little life, Ferrari. You ruined my night completely so you could have the money and I hope now you can spend it on lessons in grace and decorum. Because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on. So Ferrari, take your money and g