Blindmute Loli, July 2007

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Blindmute Loli

Thread 9
 07/01/07(Sun)22:12:22 No.31645058 

>Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

Blindmute Loli: DEATH AND REBIRTH

Hay all, it's blindmute loli guy again, finally back (I know it hasn't been that long but whatever). Anyways, I'll just jump right in because I'm sure you all (as in the 8 or so people in the chat) want to know how I got back here. So yeah, as you know, Luke and I got into a fight (a fight still not ended), and I ended up homeless. I packed my shit up and left before Melinda and Luke got home, and nobody ended up calling the cops on me. Now I needed to solve the dilemna of having no place to stay. I had a bit of money, but not enough to afford a hotel or anything. The only thing I could think of doing is going back to my old boss, and begging for my job back. At least that way I could start making money so I wouldn't be homeless forever. I figured it would still be open if I hurried over there (I didn't realize how far it was on foot though). When I got there, my ex-boss was already gone. Well, there's always tomorrow. Just then I ran into Megan, who asked me what I was doing at work after being fired. And I spilled the whole story, Melinda and I, Luke, the lamp, the punching, and the fact that I was now homeless.

 07/01/07(Sun)22:13:12 No.31645138 

>Your fortune: Outlook good

Megan was sympathetic towards my story, and had an idea. She said maybe she could convince her parents to let me stay at her place overnight. Well, hey, a homeless guy can't be picky, anything's worth a try, right? So her parents, who usually come to pick her up from work, arrived. Megan asked, I stood there trying to look as innocent and non-creepy as possible, and her father spoke thusly: "...No." And to seal the deal, it started raining. So now I'm just wandering around like some sort of crazy guy, soaked with a backpack full of essentially (at least in this situation) stuff, laptop and a few clothes. Maybe I'll catch pneumonia and die, I thought. What sort of weird fucked up karma is this? I take a homeless person in, and end up homeless because of it. Doesn't make much sense. After that, nothing really happened that night. I had absolutely no place to stay, and I didn't get one. I spent the whole night basically loitering around. I had no desire to sleep, and those of you in the chat know I stay up a bit late. Really I was just hoping I wouldn't get shot or stabbed or something. Before I knew it, the sun was coming up (it had stopped raining by then). My clothes were still fairly damp, but the sunrise seemed to make the mood a bit more cheery. It ws probably about 4 am then, when the sun usually rises.

 07/01/07(Sun)22:13:26 No.31645154 

>Your fortune: Better not tell you now

I was determined to go visit Erika just like I always did, so I started off in the direction of the home. Now obviously it's not going to take me from 4 am til the mid afternoon (when I usually visit) to get there, but it never hurts to have an early start. I considered going to Luke and begging, but I decided against it. Even if he did let me back in, it'd still be incredibly awkward between Melinda and I. Time passed, with me walking, thinking. I didn't enjoy not having a home, but on the plus side this was probably the most I've been outside in a while. As more time passed, looking up at a clock I could see it was my time to visit Erika. I didn't know if I should tell her what happened or not. Maybe there are some things kids shouldn't know. I walked in, and there she was just as usual. I wanted to tell her the story, but throughout the visit I didn't have the heart to. I saw Sharon coming as usual though, and from the way she looked at me I had a feeling she knew what was up. "Luke cancelled the adoption process, what happened?" So, for the second time, I spilled the beans. I told her the whole sob story with the loss of job, the homelessness, the laptop. And that's when Sharon became my angel. She offered to let me stay at her place. So maybe karma wasn't so bad afterall. She lives in duplex, so her living space is larger than my old apartment but not as large as Melinda's.

 07/01/07(Sun)22:13:43 No.31645183 

>Your fortune: Very Bad Luck_

She drove me there, and the first thing I did was take a shower (I was pretty wet and dirty). Then she made me some food, as I was fairly hungry. I've been here since, and yes I could've returned sooner. I really just didn't feel like making an update, until today when I decided to write one. Sharon and I talked, and we both agreed that it's really unfair to Erika to have to stay in a home because of a fight between me and Luke. Sharon decided that she was going to try and adopt Erika. Now with her working at CPS, this presents an issue. I don't know if it works in her favor, or works against her, or whether it doesn't matter at all, but I'm hoping she wins it. She's got good prospects, she's a mature, responsible, woman. I don't really know where I'm going from here. Sharon seems to enjoy having me actually, and enjoy my company. We've become friends over the days I've been here (as opposed to the awkward friendliness of a potential adopter and a person who may have to tell you, "Sorry, you can't adopt her!"). I don't want to impose myself on her forever though. Of course if she adopts Erika I'm sure she'll let me visit, and I think she'll make a good mother. And that's what's happened while I've been gone. Things are slowly getting better, as they always do. Life has to beat you down a few times so it can bring you back up.

Thread 10
 07/02/07(Mon)22:03:45 No.31731083 

Hi /b/, it's blindmute loli guy, back again. Here's what happened today. I woke up, as I frequently like to. Except it was sometime in the afternoon, me being unemployed and all. It felt good not being on a schedule, but then I realized it was about an hour until I had to visit Erika. So I rushed to shower and be presentable to go visit her (not that she can see me, but I still gotta look good for her, or as good as I can look). While getting ready I also saw lots of Sharon's pantsu lying about. I had told the chat this last night, Sharon isn't really clean like Melinda. She's sort of messy, having clothes everywhere. I began to feel nostalgic, taking me back to my teen years when my sister's and cousin's drawers were my domain (keep in mind I'm only 19). And I sniffed, and I sniffed again, and it was good. I suppose it's sort of wrong to sniff the underwear of somebody kind enough to take you in, but I blame it on /b/ (and the chat which told me to). I arrived at the home, and Sharon was there. "When did you end up waking up?" "Like an hour ago" "Wow, talk about lazy. Get a job." Of course she didn't say this in a mean tone, just in a joking tone. Then she said "Luke came here today." Uh-oh. So from what I learned from her, Luke came here to tell her to tell me something. Apparently Luke had gotten a call from my parents (who probably still thought I was living with him, the last time I talked to them I gave them his cellphone number so he would have to deal with them). My little sister has been involved in a car accident. Now to describe the relationship between myself and my parents, it's strained. When I turned 18 I didn't immediately apply to any colleges (and I'll admit I was a slacker in high school, which is partly /b/'s fault when I was 17 and 18). So they decided to "help me out" and "teach me responsibility" by kicking me out. This is when I began living with Luke.

 07/02/07(Mon)22:04:09 No.31731135 

Of course I still like my sister, we have a pretty good relationship (we're the usual bickering siblings, but sometimes I end up being the (over)protective big brother). I really think I should visit her, and since I'm not working my schedule is less constricting. So I'm debating whether or not I'm going, if I did I'd probably drive there tomorrow and stay maybe for a day or two. She is my sister regardless of how I feel about my parents. And Sharon didn't actually specify what exactly happened. She got into a car accident, but I don't know if that means she's dead or in the hospital or what. I would assume she's not dead or they would've said so, I hope not anyways. Also she's not old enough to drive, which means she either stole my parents' car or got in a car with some rabble rouser (who I'll have to beat up later). I also have an older sister, I didn't know if she would be there. She's generally considered the "success" of the family, getting a scholarship to a good college, majoring in psychology. I don't dislike her for it though. On a more pleasant note though, Sharon told me that our current adoption process was going great. Since CPS has already done an extensive background check of me, and since Sharon works there, the whole process is going a lot faster. She told me that they would send an agent over as soon as next week and we could have Erika (on a trial basis that is) in that same week if all goes well.

 07/02/07(Mon)22:07:52 No.31731532 

I told that to Erika, who was overjoyed. I know that it's not always the best idea to get kids excited about things that may or may not happen, but since she's been in the home for a bit she's starting to really to dislike it again. So I had to give her something to be excited about. I also told her what happened between Luke and I (not the part about me and Melinda, just the part where we had a fight, omitting the graphic violence). She wrote that she likes Sharon (who's been keeping an eye on Erika for me), so it works out well. Then she asked me if Sharon and I are getting married. Sharon and I both laughed at that, and Sharon said "not at the moment". Sharon said she'll be back at the duplex later, and then with a hug from Erika, I was off. I had the whole day to myself after that. When I left Melinda's house, I grabbed everything I could fit in my backpack. So my DS was with me, but no Wii, 360, or any other console goodness. So I spent the day watching tv, took a nap (I'm excessively lazy when I have the time to be), and took a few more sniffs. It makes your heart beat when you clutch what you know you're not supposed to be touching. Took me back it did. Sharon eventually came home, and I greeted her with some dinner (dinner being easy shit I was capable of making with my limited culinary knowledge). I also cleaned up a bit in various places, trying not to seem totally useless. So we sat down to eat dinner, and I was reminded of something I wanted to ask her. "How did Luke look when you saw him?" "He had a head injury." I smirked at that. Luke probably didn't deserve to get his head bashed in, I didn't deserve to get kicked out, and it's a regrettable incident but it still feels good to win a fight.

 07/02/07(Mon)22:08:13 No.31731578 

And now I'm here, taking a left after I simply walked through Mordor and stopped in Bat Country for some coffee. I'll try to go into the chat tomorrow to let you guys know whether I'm going to visit my sister or not, but if you don't see me tomorrow you'll know I went and you can expect me to be back in a few days.

Thread 11
[Note: Post 2 is something the OP made while he was bored when writing. It's not real, and was not posted on 4chan, only shown to those in the AIM chat. If you want only what happened, skip it.]

 07/05/07(Thu)05:38:23 No.31991506 

Okay all, blindmute loli guy is here again. As you know, I went to visit my sister since she had an accident. I left the day after my last post, and arrived in town. I called my parents, who gave me the address to the hospital. Previous chapters on wikichan, front page.

 Post 2 (joke) 

When I arrived, I was stopped by a mysterious woman. She was rather well "endowed" if you catch my drift, and dressed in what looked like to be some sort of military outfit. Now I was getting a bit worried. Was I getting vanned? "Your sister isn't at the hospital." The fuck!? Was this some sort of nefarious plot against me? "Don't be alarmed though, I'm taking you to where your father works, that's where she is." We continued driving, until we came to a very large building. Looked like some military institution. I didn't know what to make of the whole situation. We went inside, and were greeted by large doors. The woman pulled out a card, and swiped it through a panel in front of one of the doors, opening it and leading us inside. "This is where my father works!?" I couldn't believe it, it was like the FBI or the CIA. "Do you know what your father does?" I had no idea. We went to a large escalator, the wind causing the woman's dress to blow up and revealing her panties. "I'd rather not wear a skirt in this place." We stopped off the escalator and landed in front of an elevator. When it opened, we ran into a friend of the woman's. She was another woman, in scuba attire. The woman and her began discussing, as we moved further to our destination. As they discussed me, they called me by a name that was confusing. It wasn't my name, it sounded like some designation of importance. But I hadn't even been to this place before! They discussed some sort of weapon too, I had no idea what sort of babble they were spitting. I just stood there. After that, we went in an aquatic vehicle, riding on the surface of this purplish liquid. When we arrived in a room, the lights were off and it was pitch black. They turned them on, and right before me, was the most "what the fuck" thing ever. A large like robotic humanoid thing, I don't even know how to describe it, looking right at me. It was purple, with green on it, a large horn atop its head. At this point I thought that I must be dreaming. I gasped, "A face... a gigantic robot..." "Did my father build this?" Suddenly, "that's right!" I looked up, and saw none other than my father in a nearby window. "Been a while, hasn't it?" "Father..." My father said, "Move out!" The woman protested, "Move out!? You mean you're activating this unit?" The other woman spoke, "We have no choice." "But... Emily can't pilot it!" Emily!? That was my sister? PILOT!? She's been piloting these things!? "We have no pilots!" "One has just arrived..." "...!" ME!? "Jake..." "...Yes?" "...you will pilot it." "But it took Emily 7 months to synchronize with her unit! He just got here, it's impossible!" The woman turned to me. "Just take a seat, that's all we expect of you." I spoke. "Father, why did you call me?" "For exactly the reason you think..." "Do you mean I have to pilot this!?" "Of course." "No way! Why are you saying this!? I thought you didn't need me!" "I only called you because I need you now." "I can't do it! I've neither seen it nor heard of it! How can I do it?" "Listen to her explanation." "No, I can't do it! It's impossible..." "If you're getting in, stop wasting time! If you're not, go home!" Right after his statement there was a large explosion outside. My father said, "Damnit, the bastard has found us..." "Jake, there's no time! Please get in!" "No way, it's ridiculous!" "Jake, don't run away from your father, don't run away from yourself." "I know... but I don't think I can do it!" My father spoke to another person. "Wake up Emily." "Is she available?" "Well, she isn't dead." My sister came out, looking terrible. She had injuries all over her, something over her eye, a cast. I couldn't stand to see her like this. "Emily, the back-up turned out to be useless. Try again." ...Okay I'm going to end this Evangelion parody before you all hate me forever.

 07/05/07(Thu)05:38:36 No.31991531 (Where real story continues) 

Anyways, here's what happened. I got the address, went to the hospital. When I arrived, a nurse led me to the room of my sister. She was in bed, awake, and my parents were on each side of their bed. This was going to be an awkward situation. I hadn't seen my parents in a while, since they kicked me out. They gave me a cold sounding "Hi son" and I gave them an equally cold "Hi mom and dad". And a much more enthusiastic, "Hi sis, how are you feeling?" She smiled, she sounded a bit weak but said "Hi brother." My parents excused themselves from the room, and left us alone. I asked her what had happened, and it's just what I thought. She was at a party, needed a ride home, and got into the car with some drunken guy who crashed into another vehicle. They were both injured, and that's how she got here. I began to give her the big old speech about how could she get in the car with some drunk guy and yadda yadda. Then I realized she's probably already been lectured to death by mom and dad, so I stopped and just said "I'm glad you're okay." I grabbed her hand, and began stroking her forehead a bit. We started talking about what we had been up to. She asked me about my life, and I told her about Erika and what was going on. She seemed really surprised that I was actually doing something (lol everyone in my family expects me to be a huge failure). "So how about that Sharon, are you two dating?" "Well it's sort of complicated..." "When we were kids, I used to have a little crush on you." Then she started talking about some of the times I've protected her (I'm not mr. muscles, but I can totally beat up kids that are like 5 years younger than me). Even though her and I didn't always get along, I still took on the role of the protective big brother.

 07/05/07(Thu)05:38:46 No.31991552 

And since I know you all have perverted brains, and you're thinking "incest incoming", I'll say this now that there is no forthcoming incest. Zip up your pants, anonymous. Anyways, we both laughed at all of the old stories. I asked her what happened to a few of them, most of them were still here. I asked her what she was up to. She said she's been working on getting her grades up (I don't know if I habeeb, considering she's sitting in a hospital for being at a party). And she's got no boyfriend (but no, you guys can't date her). "Did Amelia (older sister) come yet?" "Nope, not yet." Amelia is the older sister, the "success" I mentioned earlier. She's probably too busy with her shit to visit. Bitch (my sister and I have never really had a good relationship, me being the younger brother she liked to mess with). My parents came back in. "We're going to head back to the house Emily. Jake, you're welcome to stay with us." So I went with them. When we arrived at home, we all sat down to have a little dinner, for the first time in a long time (even when I was a kid, we usually all never sat down to eat together). They asked me how stuff was going, and I told them the same thing I told my sister. And they actually said they were proud of me. So yeah, my parents don't think I'm a failure any more, of course on the negative side they their little "lesson" of kicking me out worked. I gave them the number to Sharon's place if they ever needed to call me. They said I should marry her.

 07/05/07(Thu)05:39:12 No.31991589 

While I've been here, I've been visiting my sister every day, usually with my parents though I always stay a bit longer than they do. Usually just talk, play some cards, and to reiterate, no incest. But, my visit must come to an end. I'm leaving tomorrow, and I'll be back at Sharon's place. I know Erika's probably missing me.

Thread 12
 07/06/07(Fri)06:14:26 No.32107516 

Okay /b/, it's blindmute loli guy, prepare the sage beams. Today I had to bid my sister a fond farewell. I went to her hospital room with my parents, gave her a hug, kiss on the cheek, and told her to get well soon and that I might come to visit more often now (like for Christmas). They all wished me luck with the adoption, and my parents said that if I needed any help I could ask them. That really contradicts their whole idea of kicking me out, but okay. So I was off, and back to Sharon's duplex. When I arrived, all of the lights were off. It was sort of creepy, since I was expecting somebody to welcome me. Then I heard small footsteps. An intruder?! Just had to get to that light switch... but then I felt a hand on me. OH GOD I WAS GOING TO DIE PAINFULLY... wait, I know that hand. Small, delicate, little hand. Sharon flipped the lights on, and it was just who you think. Little Erika standing before me, still in one of the outfits I bought her, still wearing her necklace, even holding the bear. At seeing her, I couldn't help but giving her a big enough hug to almost pop her head off. "Isn't this a bit early Sharon?" "Well CPS works in strange ways, believe me." So we have at the moment temporary custody. The main rule of it is that we have to inform CPS if we want to take Erika out of state, and get their approval. Once we fully adopt her hopefully they'll leave us alone (well I'm sure they have little checkup visits every now and then).

 07/06/07(Fri)06:14:38 No.32107523 

Sharon had a large celebratory dinner prepared, and despite being a lousy housekeeper Sharon is an excellent cook. Erika was delighted to have it, it probably being the best thing she's had in a while. We had some dinnertime conversation, with Erika asking (asking, telling, and saying for Erika again being writing on her notebook incase anbody forgot) me how my sister visit went. I told her about it, that my parents made up and all was well. She said yes to me asking her if she'd like to visit some time. After we finished, Sharon presented a gift to Erika (try to one-up me will she!?). It was a checkers board. I remember mentioning to Sharon that Erika likes checkers. Erika and Sharon played, and Erika destroyed Sharon (I don't think checkers is her game). I fared a little bit better against her, but still lost. I thought that maybe some day I'd like to teach her to play chess. The only problem is, I'd have to learn how to play it myself. I'm certainly not betting on Sharon knowing. After the checkers were over, Sharon went to her room and Erika and I settled on the couch. She cuddled right up against me and we watched some tv. She lifted her head curiously at me when I started singing the fresh prince theme at the beginning of the show (something I do occasionally when thinking of /b/), but then she started tapping her foot to it.

 07/06/07(Fri)06:14:47 No.32107534 

Eventually, I could tell she was getting tired so I lifted her up to take her to the bathroom. Sharon didn't seem to have a problem with me bathing Erika, not that she should. So I made her all squeaky clean, and wrapped her up in a towel to dry off. While she was standing in front of me wrapped up she reached forward and gave me a little kiss on the nose. So I had to do it. It was the perfect Full House moment, had to pull out my secret weapon of cutseyness: the zrbtt, blowing a raspberry (not to be confused with popping a cherry), bronx cheer, whatever you want to call it. Gave her on the cheek, which she smiled at. She wiped it off of her cheek and I finished drying her off. It was at this point I realized I still didn't have any nightime clothing for her. D'oh. So I put her in one of my t-shirts again and she was off to bed. I kissed her on the forehead and said goodnight, but she tugged on my shirt. She patted the bed beside her like she wanted me to get in, so I did. She cuddled right up under my arm. I asked her what the bear's name was. She said it was Sherman. So she layed there with my arm around her should and eventually fell asleep (and I drifted off for a bit too). Now, there's still one more issue. Erika's birthday is next Saturday, July the 14th. Since she's home, I need to give her the best birthday party evar. I need to get some presents, some guests, uuuh cake and stuff. Any ideas? As for the guests, I was thinking of inviting the people that live in the other side of the duplex. Sharon says they're a nice little family, and I never really hear a peep out of them. I could also ask Erika if maybe she had any friends from her children's home (though I'm not betting on it) that she would want to invite.

Thread 13
 07/08/07(Sun)07:49:00 No.32316404 

Salutations /b/, it's blindmute loli guy, back with 3 new flavors of syphillis (be sure to try mango tango berry) for your computer screen. Well then, today (or yesterday as it more accurately is since it's late/early in the morning as I'm writing this) I had a few tasks in mind. Those tasks were as follows:

1. Invite the neighbors to Erika's birthday party 2. Ask Sharon on a date (yes, today was the day I was going to do it) 3. Fill out job application for nearby food place

 07/08/07(Sun)07:49:19 No.32316423 

And I intended to start, in that order. But later. So Erika woke up a bit after me, I made breakfast. We ate, and then she asked me to play some checkers against her. Which means she just wanted someone to beat horribly. But I would not lose! No way. The tension mounted as I got out the board and set the pieces in place. I was going to go first. Needed a good strategy, something I haven't done before. So I moved a piece forward. She moved hers. Then I moved a piece behind the first one forward. It occured to me! I had to keep my little checker soldier pieces together, like a unit. A pack of wolves ready to pounce on all unsuspecting sheep. I'll get her! She moved forward again. Again I moved. Back and forth the checkers flew. ACK! She got me. One of my pieces, rushing too quickly into enemy territory, drawn in by the promise of kinghood, struck down by her cruel black men. She stuck her tongue out as she jumped me. Oh, cruel mistress, she loves to strike my men down. I moved, she moved, I moved, she moved, one by one I saw my soldiers face death. Bravely those that survived marched on. One of them reached the end, the promise land, to ascend and become a king. But this brave and noble king wouldn't sit back where he was safe, he trudged back into the fray. Only to be shot down. The odds became overwhelming. My men were scarce, her vast black empire stretched over the board. They still continued to wage war valiantly, taking out a few of the black devils here and there, but all of them fell. The war was over, it was time for me to raise my white flag (is any of this making checkers more exciting?). She may have won, but I asked her if she could see me do "this". Erika of course couldn't see me do whatever it was I was about to do which would surely make me uneasy. She doesn't know though that they used to call me General Ticklefingers. And tickle I did.

 07/08/07(Sun)07:49:54 No.32316463 

After the tickling quotient had been fulfilled, I decided it was late enough to go over to the neighbor's and invite them. Ring the doorbell I did, and greeted by a man I was. He seemed like the average guy, the kind in the commercials, the one who watches "the game" with a beer in his hand and goes to a crappy job every day and is a raging alcoholic but denies it. "Uh hi I live in the other side of the duplex." "Hi there! My name's James Wall but you can call me Jim." So I tell Jim my name, and he invites me in, so we take a sit down on the couch, his beer belly jiggling a bit as he takes a seat. "So, how about a beer?" "I'm not old enough to drink Jim" (yes I know that makes me sound like a huge fag, but whatever). And for the record I'm not some sort of straight edge. Anyways, back to Jim, who said "Oh then how about a poparoosky?" (yes he actually said "aroosky", but I'm used to odd vocal mannerisms from living with Luke). On another side note, everybody here says pop and I hate it. It's SODA. Jim got me some *soda* and we sat down on the couch to chat a bit. He asked me about Sharon and I. At that point I thought that hopefully by the end of the day Sharon and I would be more than just friends. He asked me about my job, didn't have one. After the general chit chat was done, I invited Jim and his family to the party. "Sure, me and the famarooni (family - ily + rooni = famarooni) would be happy to come. Why don't you meet them before you go?"

 07/08/07(Sun)07:50:04 No.32316472 

So he called his kids down. There was Melanie, a 12 year old girl. Amelia, a 6 year old girl. And finally Eric, a 15 year old. Eric, or girlpants as I like to call him, was the stereotypical emo kid. Dyed black hair in that little flippy thing, girlpants, a band t-shirt for some crappy emo band. Overall, a pretty average american family. His wife, Cynthia, was missing so I would have to be meet her at another time. So the guest list for Erika's party is now:


 * Erika (of course)
 * Me
 * Sharon
 * Jim(arooskyrooni)
 * Melanie
 * Amelia
 * Eric
 * Cynthia

 07/08/07(Sun)07:50:19 No.32316490 

As I returned home (I told Erika I was going shopping, but it was actually Sharon who went shopping), I knew Sharon would soon return. Erika asked me where the groceries were, looking for some chips to eat. "Uuuh they were closed." So I waited for Sharon to return home, and she did, with various food stuffs. Erika didn't question my super knowledge, just happily munched on her chips. I went to share the good news with Sharon, that I had invited the neighbors. She gave me a sarcastic "great". "What's wrong with them?" "Jim is the most annoying man in the world!" Oops, I guess I should've asked Sharon before I invited these people into her house. Jim seemed nice enough to me, but I see how he could press on your nerves if you're around him too long. I called Sharon into the other room, wanting to speak to her alone. Erika, being curious as any 8 year old would tried to sneak her way into the room but she was foiled as she didn't really know the layout of Sharon's place that much yet. "So Sharon, we've been friends for a bit now..." I was starting to get nervous. Can't get nervous. When you get nervous, you mess up. Had to stay cool, calm and cool. Deep breath, skip the beating around the bush. So I popped the question, asking her on a date. "Well you're really nice but..." and then I got it. The "you're really nice but" speech.

Mission Failed. Snake!? Snake get up!

Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!

Well I was a bit disappointed, and could only hope that didn't make things totally awkward between us. Sharon also had a message for me. She said Luke asked me to come to Melinda's place tomorrow. What does he want? Well I'll find out later today.

 07/08/07(Sun)07:50:32 No.32316501 

As for my third task, not much going on there. I got the application, began filling it out. There is another problem though that relates to my old job: Megan. I haven't mentioned her much, but she's been sort of stalking me. We exchanged aim sns, so whenever I sign on she's been stalking me. I really don't think I want to pursue any relations with her, as she got me in so much trouble before, but she won't give up. She still thinks that in August I'm going to take her virginity. I'm doubting whether that's the best idea. I did get turned down by Sharon though, maybe I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth? It's not like the cosmic forces of the universe send you hot girls wanting your penis every day, and she's only about 3 years younger (since she's almost 16). As long as she's not involved with the son of my new boss... So that's what happened today. I completed 2/3 tasks, which is 66%. An F, but I'm used to those from high school. I'm pretty disappointed about Sharon, which is why I really need to get a job. If she has no romantic interest in me then she has no reason to keep me around for free. I should probably start paying her rent if I want to make an extended stay.

Thread 14
 07/09/07(Mon)00:12:26 No.32386120 

I'm blindmuteloli guy and insert a witty non-sequitur here. Today I arose from my slumber, and was greeted by Erika who had felt her way around into my room. I put her under arrest for trespassing and carried her to the kitchen. Putting her down, I prepared some foodz to be enjoyed and began the day. Once again, being the unemployed lump I am, I had nothing to do. I settled down with Erika on the couch, and was playing EBA. Erika inquired about the music I was listening to, so I told her it was a music game. She wanted to play, but obviously her blindness presents a problem in that regard. Of course I knew Erika wouldn't like that answer. So getting another one of my clever ideas, I went to the first stage on Breezin'. I took Erika's hand, it grasping a stylus, and completed the level by leading her hands to tap the beats. Possibly she could memorize the timing and the position on the screen. After one time through, I had her try it herself. She failed miserably. Luckily, she lost interest in it after that before I made an extended dedication to teaching her (Sorry no video game playing loli here, try [Nurse-kun](/Nurse-kun)). That did get me interested in wondering if there were any games specifically made for blind people, which there are. Maybe I would have Erika play some sometime. She wanted to again pwn me at checkers. I decided to make up a new rule. If she wanted to jump one of my pieces, she had to type a word on my keyboard. Good way to tie in learning with fun, or cheap way to try and beat an 8 year old girl at checkers, you decide. But I still lost, it was at least closer this time though. Eventually I was going to teach her some other board games though.

 07/09/07(Mon)00:13:28 No.32386210 

In other business though, I was planning on going to see Luke today. Sharon was going to be home soon, so once she was I was going to head to Melinda's. When Sharon did return, I had a bit of business to discuss with her. "So Sharon, what's the situation with you and me?" I know she had already turned me down yesterday, but I want to know where I stand. From this convo, I learned she actually has a boyfriend. The reason I haven't heard anything of him until now is because they haven't spoken in a while after her boyfriend (Mark) cheated on her. But now he's "changed" and they're starting to make up. As for my situation, Sharon said that I was a good "stay-at-home mom" for Erika. She refused rent from me, but I still can't be a bum at her house forever. Well anyways, I made my way over to Luke's. To put it quite simply, apologies were made. Luke apologized for overreacting. I apologized for kicking Luke's ass (and boy did he have a mark, sorry Luke if you're reading this). Melinda apologized for trying to seduce me. ...And Luke still can't get it up (sorry again if you're reading Luke). This, of course, is good because well it's better to have friends than enemies. Luke also surrendered the Wii to me being as I like it more than he does, he refused to budge on the 360 though. I did stay to play some quick Smackdown vs. Raw matches, laced with animu discussion. Normal stuff for us. It'll take a lot more than a girl to undo our friendship.

 07/09/07(Mon)00:14:03 No.32386262 

Returning home, Erika was fiddling around with my DS (she was on the options screen of EBA, and I don't think she had any idea what she was doing). I informed her of my wikipedia-fueled findings about blind video games. Through the google I managed to find some freeware titles targeted to blind games, usually basic stuff like solitaire. Her keyboard knowledge and such however wasn't up to task to play any of them well yet. That's when the phone began ringing. Picking it up... a stranger. "Hello" HOLD IT! I know that stranger's voice. Megan, jinkies! Megan looked up my number. Now when I said she was stalking me in my last post I was semi-joking but now it's getting a bit odd. Of course I should probably just go with it, any logical person would do that. In the back of my mind it still feels like a bad idea though. I also went out again to buy some things for Erika's party. No gift yet, I'm still racking my brain for the perfect thing. I did buy some decorations and stuff though. A surprise party would work out nicely, no? We go out to somewhere, we return home, people yell "surprise", usual affair. I also bought her some new clothes, including some pajamas (with ducks).

 07/09/07(Mon)00:14:12 No.32386279 

So that's what happened today, however I would like to discuss in this last paragraph that my updates are going to be become more infrequent. The main reasons being is that, as a replier to my thread said last night, this is becoming like some sort of blog for me. And I'll be damned if I ever have a blog. Even though I have Erika, that doesn't necessarily mean every day of mine is noteworthy. This doesn't mean I'm going to become as infrequent as say Nurse-kun however don't expect an update every day. I'll still probably go in the chat when I have time, and give them small updates since they seem to be the real people that care. The next time I'll give an update is probably on the 14th, the day of Erika's birthday bashtravaganza (that's a 2 dollar word and I just made it up). Not like this is the end, just no daily updates any more.

Thread 15
 07/13/07(Fri)00:56:36 No.32797126 

It's blindmuteloliguy again, back (IN POG FORM). I know I said I wouldn't be back til Saturday, but I decided to make a thread tonight since stuff has been happening. First thing, I got a job. Once again, not glamorous, another restaurant job. My new boss isn't as cool as my old one (as in we have to actually work instead of just playing the arcade machines) but it's still a job, and a job is a job. Now this is where a problem comes in. I needed a babysitter. For the first day, I requested Luke to help me out. It seemed like a good arrangement, until I got home. Everything was fine, the apartment in perfect form, except one of Erika's pair of underwear was missing. No I'm not some sort of pedo, I just know what she has because I bought them and she doesn't have tons. And one of them has become MIA, right after Luke babysat... You see where I'm going with this. Now I know Luke's a bit of a lolicon, I've seen his mangas, but I never thought he would do something like this. As of yet though, I have no solid proof to call him on. I've been trying to infiltrate his room when I go over to his house, to retrieve the panties. If he finds they're gone, he'll know I know. Someone else also suggested I set up some cheapo cam to catch him on camera and use panty bait to catch him the act. I don't particularly want to humiliate him, just let him know I've found him and that he needs to stop. I can sympathize with Luke, I've had feelings sometimes that were taboo (not for Erika, but other things...), however he just can't go around stealing her panties. I know this may seem hypocritical of me with me sniffing Sharon's and all. Also there's a chance he may be reading this very paragraph. So if you are Luke, HAND OVER THE UNDERWEAR AND NOBODY GETS HURT. Needless to say, I haven't requested his babysitting help any more. I should probably give Erika the "naughty places people shouldn't touch inappropriately" speech.

 07/13/07(Fri)00:56:54 No.32797157 

The problem with not having Luke is I have to rely on my next source: Megan. Megan's infatuation becomes increasingly more creepy every day. Sometimes when I come home to drive her to her place she seems to forget there's a kid in the room. Sharon luckily hasn't seen any of this. I'm trying to avoid her, but it's hard when she's still super hot and provides babysitting service. Will I fuck her in August? Not even I know. She also seems to be having somewhat of an influence of Erika, not a good one either. She seems to think it's "cute" to put Erika in makeup and doll her up, I don't really much like it though. I guess it's relatively harmless though, compared to Luke. I'm pretty sure all he's done is panty thievery, nothing perverted to her actually. I think she would've said something, or have given some indication. Besides, I don't think Luke is that dangerous. I compare him to Mr. Kimura of Azumanga Daioh. He has his faults, his vices, but he's not rotten to the core. Hopefully anyways. In other Megan news, her ex-bf (since she broke it off with him and subsequently got fired) has been e-harassing me. He's never said who he is, but it's pretty obvious. I'm not too worried about it, although it does take me back to being a moody hormonal teen (as opposed to now when I'm a moody hormonal adult, legally anyways).

 07/13/07(Fri)00:57:07 No.32797185 

Erika's been up to her usual. We've also both been learning braille together, it's not particularly hard (just bumps replacing letters), the issue is remembering which bumps go to which letters. I've still been teaching her typing, and she's improving. Discussing it, Sharon and I thought that maybe we should enroll her in a public school so she can make more friends. It's not like they won't have a person to help her, I'm sure she could manage. I can teach her some things, but she does need a real education. As for Sharon, she's been much busier lately. Mark is back in effect, and Sharon and him are off together a lot. Mark is quickly becoming my enemy though, he seems to be opposed to me staying with Sharon. This is a natural reaction for any boyfriend, but if he's trying separate myself and Erika then he can't be forgiven and must be terminated. I don't really like being the only one without a bf/gf/wife/husband. We've had Jimaroo and his wife over for dinner, with Sharon with Mark, and me with my hand.

 07/13/07(Fri)00:57:24 No.32797209 

The main candidate for my gf is Megan right now, though I don't see myself bringing her on many adult expiditions. Erika has made friends of Melanie and Amelia though, they're getting along as most kids do. Melanie is sort of a mischevious 12 year old though, taking charge of the trio it would seem being the oldest. She's went over to Jim's to play sometimes, and I haven't gotten any complaints so she must not be tearing his house up. Erika's party is also well under way, I'm making preparations but I'll tell what happens on the day of it. I also was sorta forced into giving Megan an invite (or maybe strongly coerced would be the word), not that I have a problem inviting her. Erika seems to like Megan, looking up to her as the cool older girl who knows more than she does. She probably thinks that same way of Melanie, since she's a bit of a know-it-all. And I guess she gets to assume that position to Amelia, who is younger, so it works out, right? She can still beat them all at checkers though. All is really going good, Erika is socializing and it seems like I may be settled down somewhere for good (unless Mark wants to ruin it, not that I'll let him).

 07/13/07(Fri)00:57:39 No.32797232 

Goals I have now:

1. Police Luke's pernicious perverted panty plan 2. Enhance Erika's extravaganza 3. Murder malevolent Mark

(lol alliteration). Anyways, this time I definitely won't post a thread until Saturday and tell you how I've been coming on these 3.

Thread 16
 07/15/07(Sun)01:41:58 No.33011184 

Hello /b/, blindmute loli guy here. As you may or may not know, today was our little Erika's birthday, making her 9. However, before I get into that, I have to cover some events that took place yesterday. In the last entry, Luke was accused of stealing Erika's panties. I was determined to figure out what was up, so I went to Luke's for some undercover action. I claimed it was just a friendly visit, but my real mission was a stealthy invasion of Luke's house, retrieval of underwear, and the assassination of Liquid Snake. I walked into his place, and said I needed to go to the bathroom. That was my cover anyways. Up the stairs I crept, while Luke sat unknowingly. Past the bathroom I went, and down the hall to Luke's room. From being friends with Luke for so long, I know him. He's paranoid, but he's lazy. They would have to be in place people don't usually look, but also in a place he himself could get to easily. Wherever they were, they would have to fulfill those requirements. I checked all of the places I could think of. Under his matress, in his closet, but soon I was exhausted of ideas. Plan A failed. However, I was not without a Plan B, you can be sure. You see, I had a bag of clothes out in the car prepared. Filled with some of my clothes, Erika's, aaaaaand you guessed it: panties. The bait. I brought it in after coming down Luke's stairs. I asked him if I could do some laundry at his place, since Sharon's washer and dryer were broken (which was another lie). Then I said I left something up in the bathroom, and went on the stairs to wait, leaving him alone with the bait. I made a few fake stomping noises on the stairs to make it seem as if I had walked up, and waited.

 07/15/07(Sun)01:43:07 No.33011265 

From a person who is no stranger to panty stealing and sniffing (though never of an 8 year old), I know how the process works. You spy your target. You begin to get nervous, thinking "should I do it?". "What if somebody walks in..." You get more nervous, but you approach your target more and more. You keep on acting casual, getting closer and closer to the panties. When you're as close as possible, your heart beating, you're still contemplating. You may step back a bit, lose your nerve, but eventually you're just going to grab and sniff. I played this out in my mind, peeking past the corner a bit, but not enough for him to notice me. Before long, he took the bait. I emerged from my hiding position, and I swear he almost had a heart attack. I could sympathize, I was never caught but my heart practically jumped out of my chest when I used to do it anyways (from my sisters, I would loot). Luke looked a bit scared actually, I think he thought I was going to beat the shit out of him. I calmed he down a bit, and we talked about it. I was mad at him, but at the same time I know Luke. I know he's a bit of a lolicon, he has his flaws. "They're not for me, they're for Melinda!" At this point I thought Luke was making up an outrageous excuse about Melinda being some sort of lesbian pedo, but he explained it to me. Melinda has a very small figure, as I've mentioned before. I believe I've used the words "as close as a 25 year old can get to being 8." Luke, to cure his ED, wanted Melinda to dress up like a little girl.

 07/15/07(Sun)01:43:27 No.33011291 

To complete this, he stole Erika's panties to be worn by Melinda. Do I believe this? Weeeelll, it could be. "Couldn't you just go to the store and buy some?" "That's embarrassing for a dude my age to be buying panties made for young girls!" Well that's true, when I bought the ones for Erika it was a bit awkward at the register. Either way, Luke coughed up the original pair, and it was all okay. Yeah, it was a bad thing for him to do, but we've all made mistakes (like me and Melinda). I did, however, tell him that if he ever does it again or tries anything further I will beat the living shit out of him. "See you at the party tomorrow!" I also went home and gave Erika a little talk about perverts, but she didn't much understand. So I just told her to not let Luke touch her. Goal 1, "Police Luke's pernicious perverted panty plan" - Complete So, getting Friday's events out of the way, Saturday was here. I woke up in the morning, having time before I was planning on taking Erika out so Sharon could set up for the party. We had a special birthday breakfast, which had a pancake with a candle in it. Erika blew out the candle I directed her to, and made a wish. After the eating was finished, it was planning on being a usual morning.

 07/15/07(Sun)01:43:38 No.33011303 

The party for Erika was a surprise one, and I had made sure it stayed as such. In fact, the birthday breakfast was more of a decoy. Being where she's been, I can imagine she wouldn't expect much more. But more she would get. I used my time productively during this morning, scheduling a doctor's appointment for Erika. She doesn't have any visible problems, but I just thought she should get a general check-up as they say you should get. Of course even though CPS still technically has custody of her (we haven't completed all of the official tedious papers and processes and such) they won't pony up the money for her to go, so it's out of our pocket. I also downloaded a voice cd (as seen on the front page of Wikichan), the one with the little girls saying "oniichan" over and over. Erika didn't get why they kept on saying "big brother" (oniichan being japanese for just that), and I didn't even want to corrupt her innocent mind by explaining why people would pay to hear it. Time passed, and soon it was time for me to take Erika out. Now I lied to her and said that it was for a CPS thing we needed to do. Now I had to rack my brain hard to think of where to take her. The zoo? Well she can't see any of the animals, so no. I thought about maybe Build-a-Bear, but I realized I hate that place with a passion if I have to kiss any plush hearts I might just go crazy and smother everybody in the store with a stuffed bear (except Erika, her and I would escape to Mexico living under false names). Movie? Well she would be able to follow the story by listening, but most movies these days are big old action fests relying on fancy visuals. Then I had a good idea: a museum. Museums have audio tours, so it worked.

 07/15/07(Sun)01:43:51 No.33011321 

So we were off to the museum, and she was surprised when we got there. I don't know if she was happy about my choice of attraction, but she was certainly happy about not doing anything related to CPS. We had a good time too. History is pretty cool, people getting stabbed and assassinated everywhere. I think I gave Erika a new interest too, she enjoyed the tales of the past, as did I. It was turning out to be a good day, she enjoyed the excursion, and we enjoyed each others company. But I had a sense, something was wrong. She was having fun, but there was something amiss. Hopefully the surprise party would be a hit too. We returned, and the lights were off as it should be. And then, they all jumped out and yelled "BLACK POWER" and stole my wallet. Okay, they all yelled "surprise", but that was expected. Erika was well, surprised, and it seemed that everything was going just as planned. Her friends were there (amelia and melanie), Melinda, Jim and his wife, emo Eric, Megan, everyone who needed to be there. Luke was absent though, for a good reason. Of his own suggestion, he wanted to act at Erika's birthday party as a clown. Erika's probably too old for it, but I didn't want to ruin his good intentions. But Luke's routine was going to come later, right now it was time for the foodz. And on the menu was the perfect kid food, pizza (contrary to popular opinion, loli loev pizza). I asked Sharon where the cake was, and here was when something went wrong. "Well I asked Mark to pick it up but he called me and said he couldn't make it..." GODDAMNIT MARK. I know he doesn't take a personal interest in Erika, I know he's so self-absorbed he doesn't care about anybody but himself, but couldn't he take time out of his oh-so important life to do one thing? Apparently not. So I had to go on a last-minute cake run, but returned home with it soon enough.

 07/15/07(Sun)01:44:22 No.33011357 

Erika blew out another set of candles and made another wish. "The cake says "happy birthday Erika" on it." She seemed pleased with it, but still something was bothering her. Moving along, Luke the clown apparently became Luke the magician. He did the usual tricks. Erika wasn't able to see some of them to enjoy them, she did like the coin from behind the ear trick though, feeling the coin that Luke had produced. Amelia was probably the one who liked the show the most, and Melanie was a bit too old to enjoy it. And Eric was in the corner with his arms crossed, because he's bad like that. So Luke was a bit of a flop (pun not intended). However, I had more festivities prepared. No party would be complete without a game, no? So I had to think of an appropriate one for Erika. I picked a game I always used to like to play in my youth. We used to call it "killer". The rules of the game are as such. You take a hat or a basket or whatever, and put little pieces of paper in it. Everyone draws one, and if the paper has an "o", you're a victim. If it has an "x", you're the killer. There's only one killer. For our purposes, I changed the paper to dice. Square shaped ones for the victims, and a different shaped one for the killer. If you're the killer, you don't tell anybody.

 07/15/07(Sun)01:44:46 No.33011399 

During the game, the lights are turned off and everybody finds a good spot to hide. Since the lights are off, visibility isn't really a factor, which is why I picked the game. And Erika knows the layout of the place, so she has an advantage. The killer counts to 20, and then begins stalking the victims (without saying a word to indicate they're coming). The killer tries to find the victims, and when they do taps you to kill you. The object of the victims is to find out who the killer is. If you're killed by the killer, you're out of the game and cannot tell anybody who the killer is. If you're still alive, at any time you can call a meeting to say who you think the killer is. If you're right, you win. If all the victims are killed before anybody catches them, the killer wins. The adults felt a bit silly, and Eric was clearly way too cool to be playing such kid games, but they played anyways. We all picked a dice out, and nobody knew who the killer was. The lights went off, and the game started. I took a hiding spot behind the couch. Suddenly I felt someone grabbing my crotch. Caught already? Nope, it was Megan. Goddamnit Megan. "Quit!" She just giggled and continued following me around. I remembered why I liked this game. The tension, looking at the guy next to you. Are they the killer? Do you trust them? I saw Erika feeling around next to me, was she the killer? Megan, who was still with me, thought she was. She gave me a tickle, which caused me to laugh (I'm pretty ticklish). This alerted Erika to my location, who promptly killed me. Betrayed! Megan then called a meeting, revealing Erika to be the murderer. So we played a few more rounds, and when I was the killer I got my revenge on Megan for her betrayal, and on Erika for killing me. The gifts were exchanged after we played "killer". Well my present... wasn't there. I ordered something, but due to crappy shipping and such it had yet to arrive. I'll tell you what it is when we get it. Megan got Erika some clothes that make me think, "Wow, the kind of clothes they make for 9 year olds these days." Still generous of her. Luke and Melinda's present was a chess set, since I had mentioned possibly teaching Erika (after I learned myself). Sharon got Erika a bracelet. Jimaroo's gift sort of compliments mine (the poor guy didn't have any idea how to shop for Erika), so I won't reveal it yet. Eric also added in some sort of emoish wrist band thingy. O lawd, he's trying to make my kid an emo. In his own emo way though, it's a nice thought.

 07/15/07(Sun)01:45:05 No.33011422 

Eventually though, it was time for the party to be over. Everybody went home, and Erika was a little bit tired. So she decided to go to bed. Shortly after, we got a knock on the door. Guess who? None other than Lord Mark IV. He asked if the party was over, as if he was shocked it was, and he sounded a little bit drunk. I really wanted to punch him in his douche face, calling me "junior" again. "So Sharon, when ya gonna throw this bum out?" and then he laughed, trying to act like he was joking but I'm sure that's just what he wants. Why does Sharon like this guy? I still don't know. Sharon said she was driving Mark home, so I was left alone. I checked on Erika, to see if Mark had woken her up. She was awake, and crying. I asked her what was wrong, but I already knew. It was bringing her down all day. Her parents, another birthday without them. I talked about it with her, and tried to comfort her. "You know, we all care about you here too. Me, Luke, Sharon, everybody." I held her for a bit, and after she calmed down she seemed ready to go back to sleep. I walked out, but she stopped me. She gestured for her notebook, which I retrieved for her. She wrote down, "I had fun today. I'm glad I'm with you." Oh man my heart melted like chocolate. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, and she fell asleep again. I just stood there looking at her. I'm a pretty lucky guy. Well overall the birthday was a success, and I'm more determined to do everything I can to make Erika happy. She's always seemed like a pretty happy go lucky kid despite her misfortunes, but I was reminded today she still has some emotional wounds. I love that girl though, I'm going to do absolutely everything I can for her.

Thread 17
 07/17/07(Tue)01:53:56 No.33202555 

Hi ho /b/, it's blindmute loli guy. For tonight, Erika was invited to a sleepover at Jim's place. I wasn't initially thrilled on the idea of her being away, but then again Jim's place is right by (literally) Sharon's. And it would be rude to refuse as they were nice enough to come to Erika's birthday party. So I agreed. Since Erika was going to be gone, I decided I should make some plans for the evening. I had an idea to do a cheaters like sting on Mark, try to catch him being polyamorous. I suggested this to the aim chat, which informed me it was stupid. The more I considered this, the more I agreed. He could see me, and if he does he might be violent and probably drunk. Sharon was going to be late at work, which is why I thought the night would be perfect for catching Mark. I have no solid proof of his wrongdoings, other than a suspicion and his previous history. But I considered perhaps I don't need to get Mark. If Sharon's smart enough she'll dump the asshole on his own, until then I have no reason to interfere. It's not my business, it's not my problem. Sharon's not that weak-willed as to let Mark convince her to kick me out, so he's not a real threat to me. And next time I need something done like a cake for Erika's party, I'll just do it myself and save the extra time it takes to fix his mistakes.

 07/17/07(Tue)01:54:11 No.33202568 

So it would appear that I have a night of animu, video games, and other general assfuckery for myself, no? No. Well the problem is, I had already asked Megan on a "date" (wanting use of her camera to capture Mark), so that was what I was going to be doing. Megan came over early in the morning to babysit Erika until she went over to Jim's sometime in the afternoon. Megan didn't spare Erika knowledge of our date, which Erika teased me about. "Jake's in love", etc. But hey, I could pick a worse date. A busty 15 year old soon to be 16 isn't that bad. And she does babysit Erika, and she did try to help me out when Luke kicked me out. So maybe I should consider her more as my girlfriend? Eventually if I reject her she'll just get bored and I could possibly lose a good relationship. On the negative side, she's a bit stalkerish. Either way I had a date with her tonight, an obligation which I had to keep.

 07/17/07(Tue)01:54:21 No.33202585 

So I was off after teasings from Erika and a kiss from Megan (who highly insisted upon it, meaning I wouldn't get out the door unless I kissed her or mauled her down like a football player). Work work work.... and I returned home. Megan was waiting for me in my apt, and I half expected her to be in nothing but her panties with whipped cream all over her nipples or something like that. However, she was just idly watching tv waiting for me to return. Luke was waiting outside (he picked me up from work and was lending me his car for my date), so we hurried out. After dropping Luke back at Melinda's, we were on our way to our destination. We were going to the cinema to see Transformers (which sucked, expectedly). I won't elaborate on the cinematic disaster, but Megan was a bit grabby during the movie. Being sort of a shy person, it was highly embarrassing. Eventually, she grabbed my arm and put it around her (I know I must sound painfully awkward, and I probably am). Truth be told, this particular night was my first date (I was completely unpopular in high school). So yes, laugh if you wish.

 07/17/07(Tue)01:54:35 No.33202604 

Anyways, after the movie I didn't see anything else to do (well I did, but was committed to not doing that until she's legal, and it's not that long away) so I took her home. When we arrived though, she wanted me to come in to meet her mom. Surprisingly, she was much kinder than expected. I thought she wouldn't like me, but apparently Megan told her everything about me. Me adopting Erika, living in a duplex (which she probably said I owned), while leaving out everything bad about me. Her mother said she'd rather have Megan dating me than some irresponsible kid her own age. I didn't correct her, which Megan noticed. She's not my gf yet though. I'm hoping Erika is okay though, I told her to be good. Jim has had kids longer than me (not blind ones though), so I'm sure he can manage. She'll be growing up before I know it anyways, so I have to get used to her being away from me. Well, I still have a few (like 10 or 11) more years, so it's okay. As long as she doesn't tear down Jim's house...

Thread 18
 07/19/07(Thu)21:47:53 No.33476469 

>Your fortune: Average Luck

Hi /b/, it's blindmute loli guy. As I've been saying in the chat for the last 2 days, Erika's been acting funny. She's been acting funny specifically to me, as if she's mad at me. I had no idea what I might've done to incur this anger (still don't). She's been ignoring me, acting rather coldly to me, so I decided to follow the chat's advice today. Talk to her, don't accept no for an answer, figure out what her problem is. So I got home from work, and found that the gift I had bought for her birthday had finally arrived. It was an iPod. I personally have never owned one, I don't really like the things, but I thought it would be a nice gift for Erika to have music she can take around. So I give it to Erika, who still gives me sort of the cold shoulder. All of you guys in chat said it was supposed to soften her up... Anyways, I sit her down on the couch and say I want to talk to her a bit. She half-listens to me, playing around with the new thing she got (though with not much to do since there's no music on it yet).

 07/19/07(Thu)21:48:15 No.33476495 

>Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

I tell her, "Erika, I know there's something wrong. Would you talk to me about it?" She says there's nothing wrong. "Why have you been acting strangely then?" She says he hasn't. We go a bit like this, until she says "stop talking about it". "Erika I just want to know what's wrong, I want to help..." to which she responds "quit annoying me." I'm getting a bit irked, and confused since she's never been bratty with me. "Erika, what is your problem?" I said this in a slightly more forceful voice, and she didn't seem to like it much. She said "leave me alone" in large letters and held it up so I could see it. And then, I don't know if she was aiming to hit where she did (considering she's blind) or to throw as hard as she did, she threw the iPod right at my face. So it hit me right in the face (enough to make a nice bump and hurt like a bitch) and by the time I looked up she had already ran off to her room. This all just happened not too long ago. I'm not really mad so much as hurt. I don't know what's gotten into her, but if she's going to be violent to me what can I do? Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I thought I could be her dad, she'd be my daughter, and everything would work out perfectly. I don't know about it anymore. If I leave, maybe Sharon will take care of her, or maybe she'll get sent back to the home. I don't want to leave her, but maybe I should if she really dislikes me this much. I still don't know what I did.

Thread 19
 Anonymous 07/21/07(Sat)00:27:55 No.33593077 

Hay /b/, it's blindmute loli guy. When we last parted, Erika had just hit me in the face with a flying iPod. Once I left the chat, I was feeling down. I read over the post I made though, and said "I'm not letting this happen." So I went into Erika's room, determined to do my best. Erika was crying on her bed. I went over to her and put my arm around her, and she didn't push me away. She just cried on me a bit before I asked her what was wrong. She didn't answer me at first. She ignored my question. I asked again, still nothing. I asked one more time, and she seemed to get a bit fussy so I thought there was going to be more trouble. But then... "I don't want you to die." "Erika, I'm not going to die." She then told me that I AM going to die if I stay around her. She told me that she's cursed to kill everyone she loves. Yeah, she actually believed this. What I learned is that her dad, sister, and mother all died at 3 separate times, her mother being the most recent. Bad luck, but certainly not a curse. She was trying to get me to take her back to the childrens' home so I could be "saved".

 Anonymous 07/21/07(Sat)00:28:13 No.33593101 

I told her that nobody's cursed and that if I did die, it wouldn't be because of any curse against her. She didn't believe me at first, but I convinced her. She apologized for acting like she did, and I accepted. She dried her tears on my shirt, and we just lied there together for a bit. Before I finally broke the silence. "You know Erika, I love you too." She looked up at me and gave me a big smile, then a kiss (a father-daughter sort of kiss). I gave a sigh of relief, since the problem seemed to be solved. So we fell asleep there together. Today, she's back to her usual chipper self times 4 (apparently making up for lost time). She's been hyper the whole day, but is sleeping fine now. Another crisis avoided it would seem. For now... bum bum buuuuuuuuuuum.

Thread 20
 Anonymous 07/21/07(Sat)23:23:40 No.33681669 

It's blindmute loli guy, now with three lolis. I believe I mentioned this in chat before, but I'll mention it again. Since Jim invited Erika to sleep over at his house, I invited his kids (minus emo eric) to stay at Sharon's, and that very night is tonight. I now have three lolis in my living room, Amelia, Erika, and Melanie, and no pooper sticking is going on. Does this make me a terrible /b/tard? Probably. The day started as usual. I wanted to sleep in since I stayed up late and it was the weekend, but always bouncy Erika made sure I was awake. So the morning proceeded as usual, and the afternoon came before I knew it. I was already stocked up on supplies though. Plenty of sweet food, junk food, pizza (contrary to popular opinion, loli do leik pizza), and other stuff.

 Anonymous 07/21/07(Sat)23:24:15 No.33681711 

Soon they arrived, with backpacks and sleeping bags. I would imagine that if I was Konata's dad from Lucky Star I would be saying right about now, "I win at life." They devoured the pizza (I personally haven't ever much cared for it) and the festivities were set to begin. I had recently rented Big Brain Academy for the Wii, so they decided they wanted to play. Erika couldn't, be she gladly cheered me on. My two opponents were Amelia and Melanie. Time to kick some butt right? 19 year old versus a 6 year old and a 12 year old. We started up a "brain quiz". We had to pick events, and my turn was first. I picked the balloon popping game. It's simple, balloons are one the screen, each one with a number, and you pop them from lowest to highest. The difficulty was hard though, never ran into that before. How hard could it be though? Suddenly the screen was filled with like 15 balloons. I looked around for the lowest one, popped -4. And I missed negative 5. Well oh shit. 0 points for me. Okay okay, it's all cool, I can come back. And look at that, I get a second chance. This one should be easy, all I have to do is guess the animal as they slowly reveal it. I failed that one too, and learned the hardest rule of Big Brain Academy: there are no third chances. I came in second place, sandwiched between the two girls (oh man I just realized how perverted that sounds). For the second game, Amelia pulled out something she brought. A board game, called "pretty pretty princess". O lawd. It's basically a game of chance, you go around the spaces by using a spinner, if you land on certain spaces you get to pick out "jewelry" (more like jewry) to put on. Those fake earrings really hurt your ears. In the end, Erika was able to come out on top as the prettiest princess of them all, wearing the crown (I for one think I would've looked the best in it). Everyone except Amelia was sort of bored with the game, playing it non-seriously.

 Anonymous 07/21/07(Sat)23:24:36 No.33681732 

The next game they wanted to play was truth or dare. Melanie wanted to go first, and asked me truth or dare. Not being very daring, I picked truth. "Have you ever did "it" with a girl?" Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh lawd, damn 12 year olds. "Uuuuuh ask me another question..." Erika and Amelia where (at least I hope) confused by the question. "No you picked truth, answer it!" (and the answer is no). "Fine, I pick dare." She dared me to rip one of my hairs out and eat it. Instead of doing this, I choose to be exiled from their reindeer games. I don't know what they're doing out there now, but as long as nobody needs to go the emergency room I guess it's a job well done on my part.

Thread 21
Timestamps unavailable

 Thread Text 

Salutations /b/, good evening and hello This is a post of the blindmute loli fellow Take Erika to the doctor did he today Leaving work early, he was gay Arriving at the office just in time Looking so good it must be a crime Called to the doctor were the two Whose name cast him as a jew Provide CPS records did he Which to proved to be no help to me  The doctor said she was in good health And despite having little wealth I scheduled a scan of the brain To find the cause of the titular pain Answers will come, but not now But don't go and have a cow For I will keep you all au fait And don't you think to be irate If Nurse-kun can speak haiku Can't I be a poet too?

Thread 22
 Anonymous 07/26/07(Thu)01:22:37 No.34124045 

Hay /b/, it's blindmute loli guy, with no more rhyming. I guess I'm not the next Homer. In the morning, I went into Erika's room to check on her and noticed an odd stain on her pajamas. It seems she wet the bed. Speaking of which, I used to wet the bed until I was 9 or so, had to wear pull-ups to bed. One time my older sister told all of my friends who told the whole school and everybody started calling me "piss stain" (by her suggestion). :( I changed her into clean pants without trying to wake her up, and I was off to get ready for work. The workday came and went, however I had something to do before I went home. You see, they often say anime isn't a productive activity. However, watching the anime "Midori No Hibi" I had a revelation about my own life. In the anime, a guy named Seiji wakes up and has a girl on his right hand in place of his actual hand. This girl is madly in love with him, but he constantly shoots her down. And I begin thinking "Damn that bastard Seiji!" But then it hit me, it sort of resembles the situation between me and Megan. She tries her hardest to win my affections, helps me out when I need it, and I shoot her down. In the end of the anime, Seiji and Midori (the chick on his hand) eventually become happy lovers. I decided that today I would ask Megan to officially be my gf. To seal the deal, I thought I should buy her some sort of gift right? Last night in the chat, one of the chat's girls (windmill) messaged me, offering a girl's opinion. We discussed for a bit. Eventually she brought up that maybe a dildo would be a good idea. Odd, yes, but it did actually seem like an okay choice. The best I could think of was a run-of-the-mill idea of "buy her some shiny jewelry". And I think Megan's a bit kinkier than that. Examples: One time she said that maybe she could win me over with something kinky, and then kicked me in my fleshspheres. During a random conversation between us, she yes to me asking "Would you ever pee on a guy?"

 Anonymous 07/26/07(Thu)01:23:35 No.34124110 

As the night went on, I decided upon it. Tomorrow, dildo it is. So where one buys dildos would be an "adult" shop, and that's where I went. As I arrived, I immediately began to become increasingly uncomfortable. As I walked in, all sorts of thoughts raced through my head. "What if CPS has spies set up to watch me!?" "Ah wtf I have a 9 year old daughter I shouldn't be in a sex toy shop!" "I'm buying a 15 year old a dildo, what the fuck kind of crazy ass pervert am I?" Heart pounding, sweating, arms stiff as a board to my sides I realized I need to get the fuck out of this place. As I'm leaving, something crosses my eyes: Fleshlight. I've heard of them before, seen pics, but never used one. I looked at it for a bit, as if in a trance thinking "Buy it, no don't buy it, no buy it, no fuck you don't buy it". But I bought it. I grabbed it, brought it up to the register and felt like I was going to faint on the counter because of how anxious I am. The lady there even asked me if I was okay. But the purchase was complete. I got into my car, and drove straight home, not even caring that I didn't get Megan anything. A mix of arousal and disgust. "If I can't get real vag maybe this will feel great..." "Oh god why did I buy this?" "I could've spent the money I spent on this buying Erika socks I'm a terrible person..." "Probably overrated..." "But maybe it'll be an awesome masturbatory tool..." "What if Sharon or Erika discovers it?"

 Anonymous 07/26/07(Thu)01:24:07 No.34124141 

Going home with the bag felt like smuggling some illegal immigrant. Damn you Senor Fleshlight! Pero mi pene necesita violarte! When I got home, as expected Megan asked what was in the bag. This got Erika interested, which was bad. She tried to peek inside, so I grabbed her hand and ran to my room. I stashed the Senor where nobody would find him (or her). Appearing back out, I drifted the conversation away from my bag by asking Megan the fo dolla question: Would you like to be my official gf? She said yes, mission complete. Accuracy: 100% Erika was snickering, making kissy faces and such. Then she asked if this would make Megan her mom. We both laughed, but to point out something here, if Megan dating me would make Erika think she would possibly end up her mom, what does that make me? Hell yeah, motherfucker. I drove Megan home, and in the car she was being particularly grabbing, trying to give me a handjob while I'm driving. "Do you want us to crash?" She just giggled and said, "You wonder why you're still a virgin..." "And you aren't?" This of course would contradict what she previously told me, catching her in a lie. She stopped giggling and responded, "Well no but I'm not as uptight as you are."

 Anonymous 07/26/07(Thu)01:24:17 No.34124152 

Upon coming home, I had a little talk with Erika about her wetting the bed. She was embarrassed about the subject, not knowing herself that she did since I changed her wet clothes. She told me she's had a problem with it for a while, but she thought she got over it. To make her feel better, I told her about my own nocturnal urine emissions, and she laughed at my former nickname. "You know though, it's nothing to be ashamed of, if you need something to help you with it it's not a big deal.." but she seemed vehemently opposed to the idea of anything like that. Well, I suppose it's fine for now. I also told her about a recurring nightmare I had. I would just be walking along in a seemingly normal situation, and then suddenly a trap door would open below me and I would fall in it. It's like that game show Russian Roulette. Not terribly frightening I suppose, but still scared me as a kid. Erika said she doesn't remember many of her dreams, a shame since kids are supposed to have better dream retention than us. As for the Senor, he's still in his hiding place. I'm sort of scared to take him out, to use him. Eventually I'll have to face him head on, and drop a load of zygote ingredient into his sweet hole. Maybe not tonight though.

Thread 23
 07/31/07(Tue)01:56:21 No.34522699 

Hello /b/, it's blindmute loli guy. Incase you didn't know, I went to my parents' house for the weekend and took Erika and Megan along to meet my parents. Before I get to that though, I'll mention a little talk I had with Megan. The night before I left, the chat was harassing me with questions and such. "What would you do if Erika wanted to buy a thong?" "What would you do if Erika got pregnant at 14?" and all sorts of their pedophile fantasies. Anyways, I said to the thong thing "She wouldn't." "How do you know?" asked the chatters. "Well I'm the primary influence on her and I buy her clothes so she'd have no reason to want one and she can't even see it." Then the chat told me there was in fact another influence on Erika: Megan. They asked me what would happen if one day Erika went to Megan and asked for advice on how to be "sexy" or appeal to men or whatnot. So I have to say, it bothered me. I talked to Megan about it the next day before we left. "So Megan let's say that one day Erika came up to you asking on advice on how to be sexy, what would you say?" Megan looked at me like I was a pedo. "I mean, uh... how do I put it..." I had to express what I wanted to express without offending Megan... "Would you ever recommend Erika wear a thong?" "She's only 9 Jake!" "No I mean like if she's around your age would you?" "Well every girl wears them, don't tell me you have a problem with thongs?" "Well kinda I'd prefer she never wore them..." "Do you not want me to wear one?" Oh curse her, appealing to my dick. "Well I think they're appropriate in a private bedroom atmosphere they're okay but in public..." "Okay, I won't wear them." Hmmm, that was oddly easy. Getting off of that subject, "So Megan, when did your parents give you 'the talk'?" "They didn't actually, I learned stuff from my friends and school." "When should I give Erika the talk then?" "Maybe 10 years old" suggested Megan. Oh lawd! She agreed with the chat. I thought I didn't have to worry about this stuff until she was like 13. "You've never talked to her about any of that stuff right Megan?" "I just taught her how to masturbate..." "WHAT!?" "I was kidding." So that's basically how the conversation went, I guess it didn't really help much. But hey I suppose I have to accept it, she won't be totally innocent forever. At least I've still got time. So we were packed and ready to go. Sharon wasn't there to say goodbye, I figured I'd call her when we got there so she knows we aren't dead (if she even cares as long as her Mark is alright). We got in the car, and we were off. Megan sat by me in the front seat, and Erika had the back all to herself. It was a pleasant trip, Erika had some music on the iPod that she got now so she listened to that. For a bit we played a guessing game of describing something and having other people guess what it is, and then she fell asleep. She woke up and we stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break, and she fell asleep and stayed asleep for the rest of the trip. Megan played my DS, she liked the "pink marshmallow" (Kirby).

 07/31/07(Tue)01:56:35 No.34522723 

It wasn't long before we arrived. "Erika, wake up, we're here." She woke up, and we walked into my parents' house. My mother, father, and a sister were waiting for us in the living room. Erika and I walked in, and once my mom saw her she melted into an entirely new form. She went into ultra grandmother mode. My mom and dad both went up to Erika and were enthralled by her cuteness. My mother said, "She is just too adorable!" and my dad even went "She's the cutest damn thing I've ever seen." Erika was enjoying the attention. "Yup your only son here..." "Oh please if you were as cute as her you would've had a girlfriend in high school" said my mother. Haha, well she was about to get hers. "Actually mom, I brought my girlfriend to see you both too." Megan was in the bathroom, and when she came in my parents had a different reaction. A look of "isn't she a bit young...?" They didn't say it of course though, and they were nice. My sister loved Erika too, she agreed equally that Erika was the cutest thing ever. She reacted a bit less nicely to Megan though. At least she gave me a hug though. So we all went out to dinner. We all had a nice time, and after we went home. My parents went to bed, so it was just us kids up. Erika, Emily, and Megan went to a room leaving me alone. So I watched a bit of tv, and decided to go in to see what they're doing. When I looked, they all had underwear on their head. Girls sure are strange. Eventually everbody went to bed. We woke up the next morning, and my parents wanted to do something all together. So we decided on going bowling. Erika said she's done it before, so I believe her.

 07/31/07(Tue)01:57:03 No.34522770 

We all arrived at the bowling alley and got our shoes. Now I know what you're thinking, "Erika can't bowl." Well that's partially true. We had to get a lane with bumpers because if we didn't I would imagine she wouldn't be able to bowl very well. However, if we showed her where the edges of our lane were she was able to bowl fine (or at least keep the ball in our lane). Of course it might've been more luck than skill, but she didn't do terrible. She even got a strike once. So we played and played, everyone enjoyed themselves and such. My parent's payed for it all (in fact since my parents were in giving grandparent mode Erika made off with a lot of loot before the weekend was over). After bowling, Megan, my mom, my sister, and Erika went shopping so my dad and I were left alone. We went home and hung out for a bit. "Want a beer jake?" "I don't really drink..." "What kind of 19 year old are you?" So I had one (yes I know I sound like some huge loser, I'm not straight egde or any shit like that I just don't get out much). We just watched tv and stuff. Eventually they returned, and Erika showed us all the new outfits she bought that my mother thought were just adorable. Well, she did look cute.

 07/31/07(Tue)01:58:52 No.34522915 

Anyways, after people had retired to bed Megan decided to come into my room. Erika was already asleep, but I had already an idea of what Megan wanted. So before I knew it, Megan was humping my crotch on my bed. My old bed, the same bed I had for 4 years of highschool without getting any action. My mind did a sort of "Maybe you shouldn't..." but my penis has always been a fast and smooth talker, he can convince me to do most anything. My sister was still up though, and she walked in. She gave me a real nasty look, but just closed the door and walked away. Megan didn't seemingly care, and began humping away again but I pushed her off (and precum was dripping from my dick). I went into my sister's room. "I'm sorry about what you saw there, I shouldn't have been doing that..." "I knew exactly what you were going to do, that's why I came in your room." "What?" She told me she doesn't like Megan. "You've just always been a nice guy Jake, I don't want to see you get hurt." Aaaaaww. So she is worried about me! I sat down on the bed next to her and put my arm around her (and don't get any ideas). "Megan isn't a bad chick, don't worry." So after a bit she said okay, I gave her a hug and left the room. When I got back, Megan was pissed that I had chosen to go comfort my sister rather than stay with her, so looks like the virginity fairy had yet evaded me again. I just put my head down and whimpered like a dog, and fapped away.

 07/31/07(Tue)01:59:32 No.34522968 

When we woke up on Sunday, we only had a bit before we had to go. My sister was visibly nicer to Megan though, who was back to her usual flirtacious self and not being mad at me (this flirtaciousness being when nobody is around). We ate breakfast and hung out a bit before we went. My mother and father once again gave Erika a big hug, happy about their new granddaughter. They even gave Megan a hug, being hug happy. So, I'd say things worked out. In the end, both Erika and Megan ended up getting the seal of approval from my family. Didn't get laid, but I had a good time and Erika did too. Became closer to my sister, who is worried about her loserish yet sweet oniichan (okay she never called me oniichan but wouldn't it be great if she did?). Megan's birthday (August 1st) is tomorrow too. I'm going to take her out for her birthday, but I still don't have a gift... So yeah, I'm going need to do some shopping quick tomorrow. Any ideas? I was also thinking of giving her a birthday party during the weekend at Sharon's place. And about the Senor (the fleshlight), nope, haven't used it yet. I've been away from it the whole weekend and I just forgot about it until somebody in chat mentioned it just now. Maybe I'll use it tonight.

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