The Return of the Well Cultured Anonymous/Girls

''Women, in general, are selfish whores. They want all the attention they can get, yet can't realize we cannot be there for them whenever they feel like to and put up with their bullshit whey they don't want us around.'' - Anonymous (17991547)

''Women get coddled and carried their whole lives as long as they aren't complete fucking mutants. From daddy's house, to the frat house, to hubby's house.'' - Anonymous (13263608)

''A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.'' - Dwayne Perkins

How to Behave
First and foremost: Act like you deserve her, because you do.

Remember, Anonymous - the mentality of a woman is that you should be all that she wants and that she chooses you. Many of us are intelligent, nerdy, philosophical, etc. but you cannot, REPEAT cannot expect a woman to like you for these things. She needs to be put in her place because in her opinion its about who is in control. It doesn't even matter how much money you make or if you are a male model (fag), it's about how you handle her bullshit. Just think: in a burning house, how many men would run back in and die trying to save their wife v.s. how many women would jump out the back window and hide in the backyard. Women have no qualms about switching to another man if the opportunity cost of switching is less than the new benefits (A dildo is fine too). They claim to feel attachment but never so much that they would stand by a man that they feel isn't meeting ALL of their needs. With that said...

Talk to every fucking person you encounter.

This cannot be said enough. Talk to every single person you encounter. This applies to everyone equally including males or ugly girls and works for two reasons. First, doing this conditions you to be a more social person instead of the basement-dwelling, mouth breather that lives in your parents basement. Practicing being social conditions you much like exercise: if you are desensitized to doing an uncomfortable activity (such as talking to people) it progressively becomes less uncomfortable. Secondly, sometimes a girl who is attractive will see you speaking to people in a group and hover around that group in order to enter in the conversation. If done properly girls will walk into the group and practically beg you to allow them to give their childish opinion. In summary, if you cannot talk to the old, fat, ugly lady sitting next to you at lunch how do you expect to talk to the unbelievably hot bitch that comes jogging by you when you are reading some book on C++ programming?

Go Ahead, /b/ Arrogant.
Girls are attracted to funny AND arrogant men. Think computer engineering, * means and, but we commonly use it to represent multiplication, as in they multiply each other. Put it in brackets, a man who is funny and arrogant, not that they like both funny men and arrogant men, but only those who are both, in some way, to them. Not funny or arrogant men. Find a funny line that boasts yourself as arrogant and that is all you will ever need. They will laugh, give you their number, and the rest is like driving down the interstate: straight, no curves, with the comfort of cruise control. Afterwards do your best to give them an orgasm. Once you've given them their first orgasm, they will never leave you if you treat them right.

This is true. Many very popular womanizers are both cocky and a little bit on the self loving side. It sounds stupid, but it's the truth- no matter how kind you are, women are not going to fawn on you unless you have a little bit of an edge to you. For an experiment: Buy yourself a leather jacket, grab a pair of shades, slick back your hair, and drive somewhere far away. Try to pick up chicks; it'll probably be easier.

Actually, being kind may not work at all, it seems that gratification is inversely proportional to the actual effort you make, simply because being helpful will be out of the ordinary for someone who never helps, and people will think that it was a great honour to be helped, and will so loath the person; while when you always help, people just know you're going to help, and won't really care to use you, also, notice how people bitch at you when you usually help but one time won't.

This is exactly why "good guys always lose". Good guys, also known as your typical kiss-ass, always work hard to please the woman and make her feel special in a slightly facetious way. This is wrong for two reasons- one, it's obviously a ploy to get into their pants, and they know it. But the second and by far most important reason is that it sends a message to girls: I have this guy. I can use him as I like. I don't have to work for him., NOT "Oh, what a sweetie".

Take, for example, film hero James Bond, especially the version played by Sean Connery. James Bond did not go "You're beautiful baby, I love you so much I wrote a poem for you". Hell, James Bond slapped women on the ass, told them what to do, and generally just manipulated them. And you know what? On screen and off screen, that works. Believe it or not, there is a little vein of submissiveness in most women, generally equating to the desire to be controlled. It comes from nature. While this is by far not a license for you to put a collar on her and call her "Doggie", it does mean that you need to display some balls before she's going to want to see them, hold them, suck them, and fuck them.

((For an experiment: Buy yourself a leather jacket, grab a pair of shades, slick back your hair, and drive somewhere far away. Try to pick up chicks; it'll probably be easier.))

Another thing, the Minbari say "Claim victory in your heart and the universe will follow". This proverb can be pretty much used for what you are trying to do here, by claiming victory, as in believe you already got her and you can do whatever you want with her, you will become rougher and probably give more orders, which has been proved to be characteristics liked by women, and so it might help you win them.
 * Sum-up: Act like she is already your girlfriend, AKA be an asshole, uncaring, and order-giving guy, and she will come to you.

She Is Always Coming Onto You. Never the Other Way Around.
One thing that commonly kills men is that they allow themselves to be trapped(Bridget?) into letting the woman believe that they are something wanted and that you are working for them. This gives them the reins to the relationship, and will easily allow her to dictate what you do, when you do it, and how hard.

Let's take a theoretical situation- calling for a date. Your average "good guy" loser kind of character would pull something like this:


 * Guy: Hey, would you mind going on a date?
 * Girl: Well, I don't know.
 * Guy: I'll take you out to so-and-so's.
 * Girl: Well... all right...

And then our Casanova- James Bond meets Sylvester Stallone or something.


 * Guy: Hey, how does a date sound tomorrow night?
 * Girl: Well, I don't know.
 * Guy: Come on. Don't tell me clipping your toenails is more important!
 * Girl: Not at all! I'll be glad to go.

The difference here, while I obviously made it overboard, is how the request is handled. Take a look at the underlined portions of the discussions above. In the first discussion, the guy obviously is asking permission for her to go along, already setting her "I'm a princess" gears into motion. In the second one, it is obviously a pseudo-request, pseudo-demand.

Keep in mind that this in no way is inciting you to go out and command women or demand they come with you. God, that is probably the worst thing you can do. However, you cannot let yourself get into the habit of automatically making yourself subordinate. Many popular pickup dating teachers often go so far as to say that you are "jokingly pushy"- meaning you don't let them push you off to the "maybe", you get either a yes or a no. It may sound mean, but it's called testosterone.

A great way to use this principle so vividly illustrated here would be the use of the word should. You can use it for everything that you want them to do, because its a socially acceptable way to command people. After swapping numbers... "can I call you sometime??" = pussy "You should call me" and "You should let me buy you dinner" Appeal not only to her sense of submission to authority but also she feels as though it would be good for her. (Literally - what she SHOULD do)

Try getting good at what is referred to to as misinterpretation. Respond to her as if she is trying to pick you up and ask you out. For example when she says, "You seem like a really down-to-earth guy," you could respond with "Wow, you sure are forward, aren't you?" It is important that the misrepresentation is delivered with confidence and humor, otherwise you seem like a creep. Remember, she is always coming on to you.

Things to Be
And now we hit the things that you should be. Just remember, these don't apply all of the time- but for the most part, they really help out.


 * Be classy. Nothing turns women off more than burping, farting, bad table manners, or that kind of shit. Swearing included, god fucking dammit.
 * Be sophisticated, but not a braggart. This especially helps if you're into bookworm or smart chicks. Bar chicks don't care about this.
 * Be playful. Think Brad Pitt playful, not Jim Carrey playful. A bit of a tease as opposed to a clown.
 * Be slightly arrogant. If you act like you don't like yourself, you'll make her not like you as well. Love yourself.
 * Be adventurous. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones wet quite a few panties back in his day. You can too. Don't hesitate to be bold, there's hardly anything that dangerous to do anyway.
 * Be attentive. Listen to what she says. She may give you ideas, just be saying something interesting, or give you hints to make a move.
 * ...but be indifferent. Don't let her think she "has" you. That borders on being clingy (see below).
 * Don't feel like you have to repress yourself, you can swiftly introduce a few sexual innuendos, but anything beyond that is NO.
 * Also, for fuck's sake, stop fapping like your life depended on it. If your body thinks it's once every hour, it doesn't need to try its best to find mates. Once you stop fapping so much you'll have a lot more energy to spend, and the relative sexual repression should result in an increase in hormone secretion, hence more of a drive to meet women.
 * Stop going on any of the *chans for a bit. It rots your brain. Girls, typically, are not interested in the internet. Resist the urge to talk about it. Not going on /b/ for a few days will condition your brain to focus on other topics and things you enjoy so that you will be interesting, and not come off as a nerd. Be forewarned that many people who are wrong on the Internet will continue to be wrong if you abstain.
 * Be confident. Make sure she realises that she needs someone like you in her life.

Things to Absolutely Never Do
Since you are a creepy fucker(yes you are, don't try to find excuses) and an idiot in a more general way, read those few lines if you don't want to be reported for harassment. As they are pretty obvious on their own right, do remember these absolute "do not do or else"s-


 * NEVER become clingy, including calling her often or just hanging onto her. Be protective, but don't be obsessive. If she asks you to call her "sometime", do it one or two days after, not the second you get your greasy hand on your cell phone.
 * NEVER show off. They can tell when you're doing that now. Be honest, but still be flirtatious.
 * NEVER use pickup lines. Most of them suck, and can be seen a mile away.
 * NEVER become excessively emotional or weak. That includes talking about exes, crying, or that kind of shit.
 * NEVER defer to her for minor choices. If you ask her to go out to eat, ask her if she likes a certain restaurant, not where she likes to eat.
 * NEVER fake it. You aren't a ball player or a famous actor. That shit collapses on you fast.
 * NEVER ask to stick it in her pooper. If you already asked, you're fucked.
 * NEVER pee in her bum. Or that will be the last buttsecks you have
 * NEVER offer to buy her anything before you have had sex with her (at least a blowjob), instead convince her to buy you things.
 * NEVER bring out the furry unless she knows you enough.
 * NEVER swear directly at your girlfriend. You may swear and you may even say that something she did is 'fucking gay' but never say that SHE is 'fucking gay.' You will always be held in more respect that way.

Romantic Ideas
Being romantic can really make women attracted to you. An anon is willing to share his story: After getting back together with his girlfriend, he left a simple handwritten note on her dresser after a visit, saying how much he loved her and was happy to have her. So when she walked back into her room, she found the note after said anon left and began crying in happiness from this note.

Things like this can really get chicks going. Feel free to take that anon's idea and use it yourself; a thesaurus may be suggested. Said anon used a thesaurus to start off the letter saying "I adore you" instead of "I love you", which may not seem like anything major but can come off a lot better in the long run.

You'll never, ever go wrong with flowers.

Quotes From Actual Living and Breathing Women
The following are some miscellaneous quotes from girls that generally validate my claims.


 * "'Jim Carrey funny' (clownishness) is good, but use it in moderation."
 * "Grabby is okay, same with excessive kissing as long as it doesn't get annoying. The other stuff, such as sex, will have to wait until the time is right."
 * "Typically, I hate guys that won't take the initiative to ask me first. It's shitty and stupid. Men will always have to make the first move. It's as simple as that."

Be romantic (not a dipshit)
Being romantic is like driving a very expensive sports car on a racetrack. You need to be able to do it well, without crashing and burning because you tried to go too fast, too slow, or just didn't know when to make the right moves. Being romantic is being spontaneous, yet controlling- which is a feat in and of itself.

Inviting her home
If you're so lucky as to get her into your home/apartment/dorm room/cardboard box, feel special- she's almost given you the keys. Keep in mind though- this does not mean "Let's have sex"- often times, she really does mean she wants to see your pad. That means that, no matter what, you're going to have to worry about appearances- not only of yourself, but of your entire house. That being said, take the following tips as some good advice:


 * Always have the place clean. Yes, it may be hard, but it being clean shows that you are reliable and clean. Women also don't really like getting into a dirty or messy bed.
 * Pets are great ice breakers, but be wary. Having your 300lb gorilla of a dog run and jump on your date's lap equals problems. Hell, she may even be allergic. Cats and small dogs, however, seem to be good ice breakers- and it shows you're responsible.
 * Hide the porn. This is for two reasons- you don't want to look like a pervert, and it may be a little embarrassing or degrading. It would be the same thing as if you walked into her place and saw a poster of a heavily ripped male model.
 * Alcohol may scare her. I don't care what you see on television, too many girls are paranoid of date rape nowadays.
 * You are not Austin Powers. Do not pull out a rotating bed, a soul CD, turn on the fire, give her a velvet blanket, or any of that bullshit. No really, don't.
 * Try to at least look respectable. Being anonymous, you no doubt have many geeky things in your house. At least try to seem deep, don't make her wait until you catch the Shiny Pidgey. If it´s a Shiny Lugia or something like that it´s ok, but not a damn Pidgey.

Being more than just a friend
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Let's say you are a straight male and you have a male friend. The two of you are friends for awhile, you have fun hanging out. Then one day that male friend says he's always had a crush on you and asks you out. How would you feel? You never saw him as a potential date, only as a friend.

This is the same way it is for females with male friends. If you aren't put into the potential date category pretty quickly after meeting them, you probably never will be or will have a hard time getting into that category which will only result in a short relationship. If a girl views you as a friend, you are the same as a female friend to her and therefore NOT a potential date, and finding out you are attracted to her will just make her feel awkward (and maybe sad, because she realizes you are a person with feelings but may be sad she can not return your feelings) towards you.

Thinking becoming friends with women first will get you lots of dates is a mistake many men make. DON'T do it, it only leads to heartache and blueballs. Get to know a woman before officially proclaiming yourselves boyfriend & girlfriend, yes, but do that through things like 1-on-1 dates, NOT friendship.

The Slut
This is a no-brainier. Slutty girls are easily distinguished by the fact that they are willing to fuck ANYTHING that moves, regardless of emotional interest. While this sounds nice to the average /b/tard, the truth is that these girls are rather dangerous. Not only do they generally carry sexual diseases, but they have a nasty tendency to have emotional problems which make them the slut they are- leading you into the pit of hell.

These emotional problems generally fall into one of a few categories. The girl can either be attention deprived (As in she was ignored as a kid or something, including the lack of one or more parents), just stupid, or a genuine nymphomaniac- and all three of those things are dangerous, especially when it comes to after the sex. Getting a quick lay can be done with your hand- handling these girls is extremely dangerous.

The Emotional Whore
This somewhat falls into the category of slut, so I'll be brief. Always try to avoid excessively emotional girls. Those kind of girls tend to create a shitload of problems for you, including those with your friends and everyone you know. These are the types of girls who will go out and go apeshit on you if you offend her, or get far too involved in a simple relationship to the point of obsession. Unless you want calls at 2 in the fucking morning about how much she wants to know you love her (through her tears for no apparent reason), don't bother.

The Arrogant Pain In The Ass
Before I even begin, take a look at this quote from a girl I interviewed while writing this section. When I asked her what kind of person would be her ideal guy, she loaded me up with this:

...long blond hair but not in say a mullet or in a pony tail it has to just hang down and look neat, muscular athletic build like he doesn't just let his body go to hell (exercise ) he must be a complete gentleman and treat his ladies with respect, I shouldn't have to remind him to open the doors and stuff, we would have to have common interests but different interests as to make him not boring to talk to, I shouldn't have to pay on dates if he asks me to go on a date, and he shouldn't expect anything (sexual or sensual) I will let him have it if i feel the same 

And when I asked her how she would "sell" herself to a guy like this,

well thats the thing I shouldn't have to sell myself, if a guy wants me he has to sell himself and i'll decide.

For as long as they have walked the earth, women have been given deference due to their physiological weakness against men. This spanned hundreds of years- and now, in our "equal" society, they carry the distinct advantage of demanding this deference. No matter what feminist groups will tell you, women tend to have more power over men because they know they can- they are universally considered to be "catch"es, whereas men are simply a bunch of "suitors".

So, what do you do in the case where you find a woman who thinks she's in control? There are a variety of options. Some guys will just ignore them. Some guys will secretly lust for them. Your stereotypical loser "nice guy" will roll over like a puppy dog, possibly showing off and trying to get her admiration.

All three are wrong. The right answer is to push them back in their place. I'm not saying to get violent or rude with them- but nothing is able to calm a woman down more than someone who pushes back on her harder. If you don't, she will barrel you into a corner and rip you to pieces. And that sucks, especially at a bar.

The whole key here, as many dating books and /b/ threads have said, is being the Alpha Male. This term comes from animal society, where a certain male dominates the rest, getting more of the female animals and usually forcing the others to work. That is your job- to rip the chains off of you and dominate wherever you go. And that post will be attacked- but you're the fucking Alpha Male, you know what the hell to do.

So, when you experience a really bitchy woman, you need to remember a few things:


 * 1) She probably is doing it as a shield. Most women like this have insecurity issues, much like bullies.
 * 2) She can be broken, but sometimes it's better just to smack her back and move onto more entertaining girls.
 * 3) She will make your life a living hell, especially in a party/bar situation, because she will literally cockblock you from the other girls she is (presumably) friends with.
 * 4) She will go ballistic if you just ignore her or blow her off.

Which means you have a lot of shit to handle. Many guys have come up with ways they figure works in this case—some end up literally going "You can't fool me", some just ignore the girl, and others have a "wingman" to get this girl out of the picture. No matter what, this kind of girl is a cancer to you, and will cause problems.

So, what do you do? While there is never really a good answer, here are some ideas you can try:


 * Try pulling the knight-in-shining-armor thing--go off and pull one girl from her group or something and keep her away. You "Saved" her.
 * Literally blow the girl off by saying something to the equivalent of "Sure", or "Whatever you say, princess". Believe it or not, being snippy can work wonders.
 * Ignore them. Completely.
 * Pull out a wingman and have him deal with her. That's kinda sacrificial and mean, but it works.
 * Note: If you take this approach, please make it worth the wingman's while. Get him a few drinks or something.

The Needy Girl
The needy girl is similar to the emotional whore mentioned above. The signs and symptoms usually do not become apparent until later in the relationship. It could be that she did not get enough attention as a child, or maybe she has had some bad relationship in the past. Either way, at first it wont be a problem because at the beginning of a relationship, you are naturally going to be seeing her a lot. She will be getting her beloved special attention in torrents, and you are not going to mind because, let’s face it, you are happy to oblige.

Still, after a while any relationship loses a little of its luster. This goes for practically anything. Even a brand new dream car is going to become somewhat commonplace after a while. As hard as it may be for some of you to believe it, fucking, kissing, and cuddling every single day can get a little tiring when there are no breaks in between. One of the many keys to a good relationship is having a little “private” time. This is why spouses should not work together or live together in cramped quarters for periods on end. (See also: The Shining) The needy girl does not understand. With a needy girl, you will often find your girlfriend crying and about how you never return her calls and multiple ten page emails. Even though you see her on a daily basis, you are NEVER giving her the attention she deserves.

The needy girl MUST have intimate contact at all times or she simply is not satisfied. It is not so much that she loves you as much as she loves being loved. The problem is that by the time you realize that your girl is a needy bitch, you are often very, very involved and maybe you are too soft hearted (pussy) to break it off. This can often interfere with friendships, school, work, and pretty much everything else in your life.

I know that it probably sounds a little ridiculous to a lonely /b/tard, but you would be amazed how outrageous these needy girls can be. (Ex. I once had a girl make up a fake person on myspace. Then she started harassing herself and stalking me via the account because she thought I wasn’t paying her enough attention…even though we were seeing/talking to each other on a daily basis! In the end it destroyed a friendship of mine and caused multiple headaches. The was the same girl that was jealous of my cat.) REMEMBER: The emotional whore and needy girl are often the same person!!!!

Early Signs and Symtoms That Your Girl Might be Needy


 * Multiple page emails/love letters that say little or nothing (Ex. 10 pages to say I love you)
 * They expect you to respond to their emails with equally long replies
 * 5, 10, 20, or more phone calls a day
 * You often have to “watch what you say” to keep from offending them
 * They often cry for hours with no known or expressed reason
 * Long periods of awkward silence
 * Excessive jealousy
 * Clinginess
 * Absurd task requests
 * Desperate behavior

The Liar
You're a fucking moron if you have to have this explained to you. If you find out she lies to you about things like who she is, what she looks like (in the case of an online relationship) or anything that would make a difference in your decisions with her if she hadn't lied, don't go near her.

A girl's tainted perspective based on her own poor experience
Okay, here's a lesson on what to do if you've had sex or whatever with a woman, and she suddenly can't stand you. If she says that or hints it, or asks out right to be friends..TAKE THE OFFER. From personal experience, after I had done a little "play-time" with an ex, I began to not stand him, and I told him so and said I wanted to just be friends, he refused. But after a few days of not talking or seeing him, I stopped being unable to stand him and began lusting for him again, but then he insulted me. So, a lesson from me to you...take the offer to be friends and be nice, cause she could get a flame for you again.

- (Note, it may be the case that she will "get the flame for you again" simply because she can't get something, in this case, this will be you. GIRLS WILL WANT TO FUCK WITH YOU just to stoke their egos, and coming crawling back to them is one way to ensure they can. Trust your instincts Anonymous, not your penis. Women NEVER really know what they want, but if they go for anything, its usually what they can't get.)

A guy's perspective on a girl's perspective
While I may agree with some points of it, I'd warn you to be cautious. You don't wanna be her pet, staying around and being nice for the POSSIBILITY that she'll one day want to have something with you again. If you REALLY liked her, and it hurts to be around her after it's all over, then the best thing you do is to cut all means of contact with her. Delete from your instant messengers, myspace, etc, make sure you won't bump with any sights of her face often. What your eyes can't see, your heart can't feel. She may go "You just wanted to be near me when we made out and stuff, and now you don't wanna be my friend, way to be like every other man!", but women are generally attention-whores who can't comprehend that sometimes we need time to get over feelings.

But then again, if she didn't mean jack and you just liked the sex, then yes, keep her on your book, always remembering the other lessons found here.

Another View From A Guy You don't have to just cut all ties, but don't be the "Friend" who is best buddy. That doesn't work. That is a one way road to being completely whipped without the sex. Talking every now and then, being able to hang out when you both happen to be in the same place or with mutual friends and parties... Thats fine. Chat every now and then online NOT CONSTANTLY IMING THEM EACH TIME THEY ARE ONLINE! But yea. You don't have to cut all ties. If they were important to you, you should do this, they may come around and come back. Just if they throw the hints, don't throw yourself at their feet. It makes you look desperate. If you enjoyed being with them for reasons other than just sex, you can work as friends. Cutting all ties could hurt them. And it is always good to avoid making enemies. Hurting a girl not only makes her your enemy, but many people that she knows become your enemies as well.

Another problem with talking to them at a constant rate is the fact that as they become closer to you, they seem to think of you as someone they will not date/fuck/etc. They worry about the consequences of what would happen if anything above the realm of friend took place. They want you there and to be the one who they spill their soul to. All the boring things you can imagine that take place woman all result from trying to be the best friend. Also they may tire out from being around you and then cut ties with you, and with that it is all over. So try to keep a distance if the friend route is being attempted. Acting overly interested gives them the higher ground and you are no longer exciting to them. But if you keep a distance they will be the one that is working towards you. The cloud of mystery is mighty enticing to them, sometimes this could be the key to victory. The battle is one by the one that brings forth contact the least.

Protip from SJ: If you're ever in the position to be a wingman, your job is to keep someone occupied for as long as possible. If you're one of those retarded /b/-tards who can't keep a conversation going with a paid hooker on acid, then you're probably shit out of luck and should relegate yourself to being ready to buy shit for your own wingman. Learn to know how to make people talk to you. "Oh hey, that's a nice shirt; where'd you get it? Oh I love that place! How much of your stuff do you get there? Hey, do you know of a location close by?" Be painfully interested in everything about everything they're interested in or about them and turn it into a full-fledged discussion. This is small-talk on crack. If it's a girl or a guy with fashion sense, talk about their clothes. If it's a frat guy, mention the local football team. Eventually you will instinctively know how to weave a tapestry of lies around those who need to be contained, and to come to the rescue with social saves in the taa-daa nick of time.

A good example of a "save" you can make while being a wingman happened to me recently. The fellow I was wingmanning was curled on a seat with his prospective lay, and she made a snide comment about him. He replies with


 * Fellow: Screw you
 * Third-Party Bitchfaced Whore: That's the problem, she's not!
 * A moment of awkward silence follows. I jump into the middle of the conversation and say:
 * "Heeeeey! It just got more awkward in here!"

The group laughs, the bitch's comment blows over, my fellow continues his courting of this lovely lass resembling a loli.

A small note: If you are a wingman, there is always a good chance you will have to fall on the grenade and fuck a fat/ugly/crazy chick to help out your mate.

Miscellaneous
From a woman's perspective.

Protip: you're not a "nice guy", you're just a pussy who pretends to be friends with a girl while secretly wanting to fuck her and expecting her to read your mind and know that you want to be something more than friends.

Girls do not reject "nice guys" in favor of "assholes", they reject guys who misrepresent their feelings in favor of confident & honest guys.

From a man's perspective.

Women run on emotion. Don't bother trying to be a nice guy, that's not what they want. They want someone who will inspire emotion in them, it does not even matter what kind as long as its strays from pity and that end of the spectrum. So piss them off, accuse them of things they never did, confuse them with private thoughts that they have no insight towards, make them laugh if you feel like it. The emotions are the key, that is what makes them want to "get to know you" keep the woman emotional through this process and she will begin to desire you. Be careful of how early this starts, if you don't let their emotions overwhelm them then they begin to worry about what others will think and will leave. You have to give them enough different feelings to where you are all they "need".

If you ever give them the feeling that you are feeding off their emotions then they will leave you for someone else. All women are succubii.