Denko Thread 7

2ch Substituting for the OP. Not really sure what the title means… 2ch ARREST HIM ALREADY. 2ch This again… 2ch Oh boy, 600-email-man again… So I know up to Denko using the Shining Wizard on OP. What happened next? 2ch I think he’s getting bullied at school? OP Thank you, thread-starter! You’re a real help! (´･ω･`) I’m very grateful. OP Um, I was suddenly dropped to level 0, so I couldn’t start it myself. Sorry. Also, there’s a scary middle-schooler in front of the dojo, so I stopped practicing my Kyokushin karate… (´･ω･`) Now, about Denko’s “boyfriend”… How’s that evil mastermind A-ko doing? OP Actually, I’d rather you not say bad things about A-ko right now… (´･ω･`) So it turns out Denko doesn’t actually have a boyfriend… I’m seriously shocked Denko would lie to me. Why would she do that? She shook my hand when we parted, so I don’t think she really hates me… 2ch Sheesh, you can’t extrapolate that just from a handshake… And you were saying you didn’t trust A-ko before, and now suddenly you’re her babysitter? OP Sorry, I’ll give more details. So I asked A-ko for some advice? And she was harsh. She said I had a 10% chance of getting with Denko at best. Then I suddenly realized, maybe A-ko’s jealous of me… (´･ω･`) And then it was so clear to me why A-ko was selling me information! Maybe she just wanted to talk to me all along? Once I had that thought, I started to see A-ko’s kindness, and I realized my feelings were starting to shift toward A-ko a little… (´･ω･`) Does anyone have experience loving two people at the same time? I don’t know how to describe these feelings… 2ch What? What? 2ch The most outrageous misunderstanding of all time… So self-absorbed… Well, no point in telling us about it. Go confirm that A-ko likes you, OP. OP I’m not that self-absorbed… (´･ω･`) I’m really worried… Maybe it’s since Denko carved out my heart that I’m being fooled into thinking I love A-ko? Of course, it’s also possible I could love two people… As long as they respond to my emails, I mean. But how should I ask her? (´･ω･`) 2ch "Do you like anal?" OP Y-Yikes… What would happen if I asked a girl that? I don’t think I want to ask that at all… (´･ω･`) 2ch You won’t know until you try! Gotta live and learn! OP Well, I sent “Do you like anal?”… (´･ω･`) I’ve had some bad experiences thanks to some of you guys’ replies, though… If this makes her not like me, I’m gonna be really stuck… 2ch GJ 2ch A-ko, you gave me advice, right? You were harsh with me, saying I have a 10% chance with Denko at best. But I had this sudden thought. A-ko, could you possibly be jealous of Denko? If that’s the case, then I think I know why you wanted to contact me now. You just wanted to talk with me, didn’t you? Yes, it’s all coming together now. After realizing this, I’ve come to notice your kindness, A-ko, and I’ve noticed my feelings are shifting toward you. I love you too, A-ko. So could I ask your feelings…? ^ Send this. OP Wow, she replied already! (´･ω･`) Subject: G☆R☆O☆S☆S Since she put stars in it, is that good? Did I get through to her? (´･ω･`) 2ch Sounds perfect. 2ch You got her for sure! You can do this! Go for it! OP Okay, I think I might have this! (´･ω･`)
 * 1) 2ch

I sent A-ko “Know what I mean? (´･ω･`)” OP Here we go… (´･ω･`) Contents: Hrmm… maybe she was confused what I meant with my message… (´･ω･`) But I think we’re doing well so far. Want to drop the big question soon… 2ch This is the perfect time to send that earlier suggestion! 2ch Maybe they aren’t wrinkles, but an intersection. So she wants to meet you? 2ch ^ !! OP I see, so I AM being tested… (´･ω･`) Okay, since a lot of people wanted it, I sent that suggested reply. 2ch Perhaps it would be better that A-ko, the girl who sells info about her friends, is targeted rather than the innocent Denko… OP Now that I sent it, I’m really worrying what I’ll do if Denko confesses to me too… (´･ω･`) 2ch Neither will. 2ch It’s fine. SINCE THAT WON’T HAPPEN. 2ch Date them both! 2ch I wouldn’t worry about it. 2ch What celebrities would you compare A-ko to? OP Uh, I don’t know many celebrities, so that’s hard to say… (´･ω･`) She would probably fit in a hostess club, though. 2ch Look at you guys, mocking OP when he’s so close to losing his virginity. OP W-Whoa… Am I close? Really? This is making me excited… (´･ω･`) Can’t wait for A-ko to email me, oh man… 2ch MAKE SURE TO POST LIVE WHILE YOU’RE LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY! 2ch [Help!] I’m Not Sure Where My Girlfriend’s Hole Is 2ch If you’re going to have sex with A-ko, she’s gonna need payment. Somewhere in the order of 500,000 yen. 2ch We’ve entered a whole new world of Mr. Stalker’s misunderstandings… 2ch Haha, A-ko would “fit in a hostess club”… Is she that slutty? Lots of women like that will only date men for their money, y’know. 2ch I want this to be made into a whole bunch of media, like Densha Otoko. 2ch OP’s illness is getting worse. He must be off his meds. It’s dangerous to keep this up. Please, take your medication and tell your doctor about this. OP SHE REPLIED!! Contents: So you’re saying you want to date? Huh? D-Do I want to date A-ko…? (´･ω･`) I’m worried about Denko too… If I date her, then I won’t be able to date Denko, will I? 2ch Whatever your choice, the result will be the same. 2ch She’s throwing all sorts of signs, moron! Don’t back away from this! 2ch Seems obvious to me. Three can play at this game. 2ch If things end with A-ko, propose to Denko again. But for now, go with A-ko. 2ch Even if you’re rejected, you’ve still got Denko, OP! Tell her you wanna date! And girls love men with experience, trust me. 2ch Hostess-club girls generally won’t leave hopeless guys alone. And since OP’s getting bullied even at college, he passes with flying colors…! OP Sniff… um… I just sent this… (´･ω･`) "Do you want to date me, A-ko?" 2ch Are you retarded? 2ch Only virgins answer a question with a question. 2ch What? Are you kidding me? A-ko asks if you wanted to date, you replied asking if she wants to date you? Girls hate men like that! God, you should’ve just straight-up said you wanted to date… 2ch You never let us down, OP. 2ch It’s times like these I’m made even more aware than usual that OP is a virgin. OP If A-ko says she wants to date, then I wonder if I’ll have to forget about Denko… I’m getting a little marriage-blue… (´･ω･`) [The term is supposed to refer to “blues” associated with an approaching marriage, such as anxiety about what life will be like afterward.] 2ch Uhhhm. I don’t think you know what “marriage-blue” means… 2ch You’re already getting married?! 2ch Do you just not have any idea what marriage-blue means? Or are you already planning to marry A-ko? I literally can’t tell…! 2ch (´･ω･`) ^ This is not the face of marriage-blue. 2ch Follow up with this? "I’m sorry. I was so shocked, I replied with a question instead. That’s just how it goes when I’m anxious about you, A-ko. So yes, please, go out with me.”  I mean why didn’t you just say that to begin with???  OP  Sorry, but what exactly was the problem with what I sent?  I’m getting impatient over the lack of reply, though… (´･ω･`)  2ch  Because you replied with a question!  When you could’ve just been a man and said “Yes, I want to date you!”  2ch  There’s no problem! It’s perfect!  OP  Thanks a lot, guys, now I’m worried I’m making big mistakes… (´･ω･`)  I’m getting a little depressed here…  2ch  Next thread:  [Help!] My Girlfriend Is Suing Me (´･ω･`)  2ch  With the way this guy thinks, it’d be more like this:  [Help!] My Lawyer-Brainwashed Girlfriend Is Suing Me (´･ω･`)  2ch  [Help!] The Police Are Here (´･ω･`)  2ch  [Help!] I’m Being Chased By My Girlfriend’s Friend (´･ω･`) OP Got a reply! Contents: If you say you want to date, then sure, we can date! ♥ Huh? Do I want to date A-ko??? What is this feeling…? (´･ω･`) 2ch I love you, A-ko. 2ch What? What? What? WHAT IS THIS?????? 2ch whAT 2ch How… but…? 2ch CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2ch Huh? What? What, what? Is this real life or just fantasy????? 2ch The twist no one’s expected since the first thread… OP Going to A-ko’s side right after breaking up with Denko would be really… I dunno… (´･ω･`) I don’t have any idea how to respond. Should we date? Won’t she think I’m fickle then? 2ch "Broke up"… YOU WEREn’T EVER DATING… OP Sent this. (´･ω･`) "If you really want to, then could we date so we can get married later?" Right! I’ll forget about Denko if I have to…! Sniff… 2ch Congrats, dude! 2ch GJ!!! You’ve done well. 2ch So NOW it’s marriage-blue, huh… 2ch So you can get… get married later… omfg… You’re amazing, you know that… 2ch How old is OP? 2ch ^ Just got into college… I think. 2ch ^ Second year, actually. 2ch [Help!] We’re Dating, But I Can’t Forget My Old Girlfriend (´･ω･`)
 * angry-wrinkles symbol*

[Help!] I’m Being Sued By My Lawyer-Brainwashed Girlfriend (´･ω･`)

[Help!] The Courts Want 3 Million Yen in Compensation (´･ω･`)

[Help!] I Had To Pay the Courts 3 Million Yen in Compensation (´･ω･`) OP Got a reply! That was quick! Contents: I look forward to it too! *smile* I just want you to promise me three things: First, don’t tell anyone we’re dating. Second, I’m the one in charge here, and if you deny it, then this is all void. Third, as a general rule, you’re forbidden from contacting me if I don’t contact you first. Can you uphold those three for me? ♥ So yeah… (´･ω･`) Kinda strange how she doesn’t want me to contact her, huh? 2ch OMG, it’s like she wants you to sign a contract… 2ch Oh yeah, she’s totally after your brother and money… 2ch She wants to have a monopoly on you! Isn’t that cute? 2ch Raise your hand, did anyone see this coming back when it was just 600 emails? 2ch Sounds like she’s stopping just short of saying “I’ll contact you whenever I need money, thanks! o(^▽^)o” 2ch [Hooray!] I Got A Personal ATM (´･ω･`) 2ch Dang… What color is A-ko’s blood? 2ch Sometimes, you find happiness in places where you least expect it. Congratulations…! I really mean it…! OP Sent this… (´･ω･`) "Don’t you think it’s a little harsh saying I can’t contact you myself? (´･ω･`)" 2ch Be more forceful! See, this is why you’re a virgin. OP Thanks! You’re absolutely right! I’m feeling braver now! Sent this: “Never mind, I was just kidding! Let’s date!! I love you!!” (´･ω･`) 2ch Brave enough to become a slave, apparently… 2ch You need to have three conditions of your own. 1: Don’t have sex with anyone but me. 2: Have sex with me once a day. 3: Don’t spend my money on anything. 2ch Hahaha, talk about an unfair deal! FF13 gives you more freedom than that! OP Reply reply reply! Contents: As a general rule, you’re forbidden from contacting me if I don’t contact you first. Gosh, do I need to say it twice? I’ll let you off with a warning this time, so be more careful from now on. *smile* So I guess that makes today, April 21st, our anniversary! ♥ Make sure you never, ever forget it! Whoaaa… It’s a virginity countdown now… (´･ω･`) 2ch Now’s your chance! You gotta say something to show you’ll remember it, or else! 2ch A-ko is pro. 2ch Time to Lost Virginity: XX years 2ch ^ two digits, rofl OP Umm, she said not to tell anyone we were dating, but maybe I should let Denko know? (´･ω･`) Also, what should I give her for our anniversary? 2ch The best present of all would be your smile. Go meet her pronto! 2ch Give her your virginity, dummy! OP For now, I told Denko I had something important to tell her… (´･ω･`) And I asked A-ko “Can we meet after school today?”! Three-dimensional ecchi tonight… Even I didn’t see this coming… 2ch Not if you don’t pay up 300,000 yen. 2ch Where ya gonna do it? OP I don’t suppose the park would work? (´･ω･`) 2ch AT LEAST GO TO A HOTEL MAN. 2ch Wh… what are you… what? Can’t you meet anywhere else? OP I’ve never been to a hotel before, so I’m embarrassed… (´･ω･`) Waiting for a reply now… Maybe I should bring a vibrator? 2ch A virgin bringing a vibrator, omg… Hell, make that your anniversary present. OP And of course, wouldn’t it be romantic to go with A-ko to Yoyogi Park, that memorable place, and see the cherry blossoms together? (´･ω･`) 2ch Memorable for getting Shining Wizarded, you mean…? 2ch Yeah, romantic would be good. The buzz of a vibrator backed by cherry blossoms… superb. 2ch Oh, you’re such a romantic. I tip my hat to you, sir. You’re like the Japanese Shakespeare, you are. Girls fall head over heels for romantic types, so good luck! OP In H manga, girls usually pretend to dislike vibrators, but inside they really enjoy it. But all my knowledge is manga and games, so I don’t know if it’s really true… (´･ω･`) Help… 2ch Have you never read a NORMAL romance manga? OP No emails, so I might have to send one myself… (´･ω･`) It hurts… (´･ω･`) I don’t have a vibrator, so I’ll have to go buy one from Don Quijote. Buh-bye! 2ch Don’t worry, H games are basically just reality in game form. OP While I was headed to Don Quijote, I got a shocking email… Contents: Sure! *smile* We can meet anywhere! Go ahead, you decide! Oh, but one more thing I need to say. I want you to stay pure until we get married. I’m looking forward to my wedding night with you, since we’re leading up to marriage here. *smile* So no touchy-touchy until then, please! ♥ Whoa… L-Looking forward to… She’s really eager! And she’s a virgin too? A-ko’s such a good girl… Oh man, I’m super excited! Since I guess I won’t need the vibrator for now, I bought some lotion to use in the bath. I hope we can use it together soon… (´･ω･`) 2ch I don’t think she’s getting in a bath with you… 2ch >I’m looking forward to my wedding night with you, since we’re leading up to marriage here. *smile* >So no touchy-touchy until then, please! ♥ We’ll be waiting forever… 2ch If you’re keeping your promises, you should really make sure she’s a virgin too. 2ch ^ Yeah, definitely do this. Is there a single college girl in Tokyo that keeps her chastity these days? OP Going in the bath will be fine. We’ll probably have to touch, mmm… (´･ω･`)

I sent her “I’m going to Don Quijote to get some stuff for the bath, so we can go in together!” Knowing A-ko’s such a good girl as to save herself for marriage is just raising the stakes… But we’re definitely going into the bath together! So I guess a hotel, huh… First time at a hotel… I’m nervous… (´･ω･`) My armpits are sweating… OP Got an email! Contents: Huh? What do you mean? What do you mean, “what do you mean”…? (´･ω･`) And “Huh?” makes it sound like she’s a little embarrassed inside… For now, I sent “How does ___ sound as a meeting point? I’ll tell you after school! (´･ω･`)”!! Spring is coming, and I’m sorry I’ve troubled you all. But I’m really grateful! Thanks!! I bet you can all get great girlfriends too!! 2ch You really don’t think about anything but what’s convenient for you, do you… You’re sick, man, get help! 2ch For real, what ARE you talking about… Suddenly bringing up going in the bath? Like, what? Final thread